by Beth Manz
"But I know those words stuck in your head and you worry about my well-being."
"I would worry whether you said those words or not. You're my partner, my friend."
"I'm your Guide," he corrected, his voice emphatic. "That's what we're both forgetting. I lost track of what I am and ended up jeopardizing everyone in Cascade. I didn't--" He stopped pacing and turned toward Jim, slow realization dawning on his face. "Jim, you said you had that dream when Alex first showed up but you had it again tonight, didn't you?"
Jim considered lying. But in the end, what good would that do either of them. "Yes."
"Dammit!" Blair covered his face with his hands, shaking his head. "Why didn't I see this before?" he muttered. "How could I be so stupid?" He dropped his hands to his sides and stared down at Jim. The anguish in Blair's eyes tore at him. "You had that dream again because I came back here. Because the threat has returned. Alex will come for me and she'll see you as the obstacle to get through."
"And she'd be right."
"But don't you see, that's my point!" He began pacing again. "She won't kill me but she'll kill you to get to me. Once again, the Guide is putting his Sentinel in danger. That's what that dream is trying to tell you. That I am a threat to you. That you'd be better off if I had died."
Jim stood suddenly and gripped Blair by the shoulders. "Your job as Guide does not include dying for me, the tribe or anyone else."
Blair wrenched himself free and took a step back. "Jim, the Guide is supposed to protect the Sentinel. I didn't do that and you reacted to that on instinct. What happened between us…that was my fault." His face paled as the horror of those words, of his actions, struck him full force. "God, Jim, you should have told me all this before." He took another step back . "Everything I said in the hospital...." Another step. "Everything I put you through..." Another. "Everything you did for me..." Blair was now several feet back from Jim and the sudden, jarring distance made the Sentinel uncomfortable. What was Blair saying? Planning?
Jim closed the gap between them, not liking the feeling that was beginning to grow in the pit of his belly. "Sandburg, those were all things that needed to be said. Changes that needed to be made."
Blair's gaze swept the loft. "I shouldn't have come back. I wouldn't have if you had just told me." He started for his room.
Jim caught his arm, stopping him. "You're not going anywhere." Blair tried to twist out of his grip again but Jim caught his other arm and held him firmly in front of him. "We are a team. That is our strength. I let Alex come between us before. I will not let that happen again. And I will not sacrifice you to save myself. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Blair nodded, swallowing tightly. When he spoke, his voice was low, filled with barely controlled emotion. "Jim, I'm not going to lie and say that dream of yours doesn't scare me."
"So if you're scared then you're not going to go out and hand yourself over to Alex?"
"No, man. I'm not going to do that."
"Good." Jim released the iron grip he had on his friend. "There is one thing I don't understand. If you're right and I was able to sense Alex before because of some territorial instinct, then why don't I feel that now? Why didn't I know she was back in Cascade before Simon called?"
Blair let out an exasperated breath, shaking his head. "That's a good question." He turned anxious eyes up to Jim. "I wish I had an answer."
Simon looked up from his desk as the noise outside his office rose. He could hear the welcome backs and knew that Jim and Blair had arrived. He stood and crossed to the window. Sandburg walked through the bullpen one step ahead of Jim. Ellison kept his hand resting lightly at the center of the grad student's back, steering him through the well-wishers. Simon shook his head at the genuine displays of affection that were directed at the young anthropologist. Everyone had missed Blair's exuberant presence. With his return, things would finally get back to normal. Well, as normal as it could get with those two.
Simon waited until they had reached Jim's desk before calling the pair into his office. Blair walked in, Jim right behind him, his hand still resting lightly on the younger man's back.
"It's about time you got your butt back here, Sandburg," Simon said, dropping into his chair.
"Thanks, Captain. I missed you too." Blair took one of the two seats that flanked Simon's desk and adjusted the new ID on his lapel. "Simon, I really appreciate what you did, getting me the new position and all. I--"
Simon held up his hand, silencing him. "You earned it. Besides it was long overdue."
Blair was beaming at him and after a moment, Simon realized he was beaming back. He dropped the grin and cleared his throat. "Okay, okay. Let's get back to business here." He set his face with his most stoic expression and looked back to Blair. The kid was still grinning widely. Simon sighed and rolled his eyes.
"What have you got, sir?" Jim asked, not quite able to keep the amusement out of his voice.
"I got a copy of the surveillance tape from the airport." Simon stood and crossed to the television in the corner of the office. "I think you'll find it interesting." He pushed the play button on the VCR. A moment later, a grainy black and white picture flickered onto the screen. It showed the inside of the airport, people walking past, checking their bags, talking with each other.
Blair slid into the seat before the TV and slipped on his glasses. Jim stood behind him, one hand resting on his shoulder. Simon didn't even think Jim was aware of the almost constant contact he'd had with Blair since they'd arrived. Normally, Simon would just assume that Jim was doing it to give Sandburg a sense of security. After all, Alex's return had to be stressful on the kid. But after everything that had happened between the two of them, Simon suspected that the unconscious touch was more for Jim's benefit than Blair's. On a very basic level, Ellison needed solid reassurance that his young partner was indeed back.
Blair leaned forward slightly as Alex came into view on the small screen. He watched intensely as she ducked away from the crowd, holding her head at an odd angle. "She can't control it," Blair whispered. "You see the way she's tilting her head. She's working to get her hearing in line but she's failing."
"You didn't teach her how to dial it down?" Jim asked.
"We never got that far. I showed her a few things, not much." He was completely engrossed in the tape, back to what he did best: studying Sentinels. "And there." He pointed at the screen. "Right there. She's having trouble with her sight. The way she's cringing. She--" Blair's words cut-off as he glanced up at Jim. "Hey, man, you're hurting me."
Jim jerked his hand away from Blair's shoulder. "Sorry, Chief." He took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest.
Simon frowned. He knew Jim was tense but tense enough to hurt the kid and not even know he was doing it? He knew he was afraid for Blair. Afraid Alex might actually get to him. But now Simon wondered if something more were going on between them.
Blair sat back as the tape ended. "She looks like she's lost whatever slight control she might have had," he said rubbing his now sore shoulder.
"Which explains why she'd want to hook up with you again," Simon pointed out.
"Which means we have to find her before she finds Blair," Jim added.
"So how do we do that?" he asked Jim. But it was Blair who answered.
"We use bait."
"We're not even discussing it, Chief."
Blair stared at his partner as Jim steered the truck through the streets of Cascade heading back toward the loft. He could see the hard set of Jim's jaw. The cold glint in his eyes. He had made up his mind and Blair was going to have one hell of a time changing it.
"Jim," he began, pitching his voice low, using his best Guide techniques to try and get his way, "it makes sense. I mean, you can't exactly keep your eyes on me twenty-four hours a day. We have times when we're apart. We need to find Alex fast. This plan will bring her out in the open."
"I'm not going to let you use yourself as bait. I know you, Sandburg." His gaze cut to him b
riefly. "You think this is your way of redeeming yourself for something you think you've done wrong."
Blair shifted his gaze to his window, uncomfortable with the fact that Jim could read him so easily. Because even after their talk last night, he still couldn't help but feel responsible for what was happening. He needed to protect his Sentinel and was willing to do almost anything to achieve that goal. "Everyone in Major Crimes will be there to back me up."'
"Everyone in Major Crimes doesn't know she's a Sentinel," Jim countered.
Blair opened his mouth but Jim spoke before he could get one word out.
"I'm not discussing this anymore, Chief."
Blair knew from the tone of Jim's voice that he meant what he said. Tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear, Blair decided he would drop the subject...for now. He would try again later, maybe after dinner. He knew if he just kept on this, he could get Jim to agree. He'd see that he was right. Hell, even Simon agreed that it was the best idea.
"Blair, I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head." Jim slowed the truck as the light ahead turned red. "You think you can talk me into this but you can't." His voice held a new edge that had not been there moments before. "Do you have any idea what it was like for me when I found you floating in that fountain?"
Blair squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the memories that flashed through him with Jim's words. Alex forcing him outside. Making him stand on the edge of the fountain. Waiting for the blow that would kill him. He shuddered involuntarily. "Jim, don't--"
"If talking about that is what I have to do to get this crazy idea out of your head, then that's what I'm going to do," he snapped. The light turned green and he stomped on the gas. The truck lurched forward. "That image is burned into my mind. I see it every time I close my eyes." His knuckles were white from the tight grip on the wheel. "The thought of you dying..." He shook his head. "I can't go through that again so don't ask me to let you use yourself as bait because I can't. I just--"
"Okay, man. I get it." Blair put a hand on Jim's shoulder, squeezing gently. "We'll think of something else."
They rode for a few miles in silence. Blair could feel the waves of tension coming off his partner, tension he had created, tension he now wanted desperately to relieve.
"Hey, Jim, I've been thinking about our conversation last night. About why you can't sense Alex and I think I may have an answer." He hadn't planned on bringing this up now. Had wanted to think on the whole thing a little more. But if his new theory could put Jim at ease even a little, than it was time to share it. He turned slightly in his seat so he could watch Jim as he spoke, wanting to gage his reaction to what he was about to tell him. "Maybe it's the choice she made."
"The choice?" Jim's eyebrows knit together. "I'm not following you, Chief."
"Think about it, Jim. What is a Sentinel? A person with heightened senses who is chosen to watch over the tribe, to protect it. She didn't do that. In fact, she did just the opposite of that. She risked everyone in Cascade when she stole that nerve gas."
"So how does that explain why I wouldn't sense her?"
Blair hesitated. This was the crux of his theory. If Jim agreed with him then they could go forward and plan using this new knowledge. If he didn't, then they were back to square one, trying to figure out why Jim could no longer feel the woman's presence. He took a deep breath and said the words slowly. "Because I don't think she's a Sentinel."
Jim's gaze cut to him, his mouth pulled into a tight line. "What? Come on, Chief. If she's got the senses, then--"
"The senses are only a part of it," Blair said, his voice overriding Jim's. "When I met her, she told me that she'd just begun having the dreams about the jaguar and the temple. I think she was being given the choice, just like you."
"The choice to become a Sentinel?"
"Yes. Jim, you and I both know there's a whole mystical side to this Sentinel business that we haven't even begun to explore. But just from the little we know, from what I know to be true about Sentinels in general, I think the choice to become a Sentinel was taken from her. I think whatever she might have become was forfeit when she stole that nerve gas."
Jim was silent for several moments as he processed the words. "Okay, Chief. Let's say you're right. Why does she still have the senses? Shouldn't she have lost them when she lost the choice?"
"She's genetically predisposed to have them. I don't think anything can change that."
"So she's not a Sentinel. She's just someone with heightened senses?"
"Yeah, basically."
"That still makes her dangerous."
Blair raised his eyebrows, shrugging lightly. "Actually, I think it'll just make her insane," he said softly.
Jim pulled the truck to a stop in front of the loft and turned to face his partner. "I know I was heading down that path before I hooked up with you." He released his seatbelt but did not immediately get out of the truck. "Could you help her?" he asked suddenly, the words strained. "If you wanted to, could you train her to control her senses?"
"I don't think so, man." Blair had pondered that question himself since the theory took hold in his mind. To him, the senses and the choice of becoming a Sentinel went hand in hand. Make the right choice and it all falls into place. Make the wrong choice and... "I don't think anyone can help her now."
"Then that's the best reason yet to keep you as far away from her as possible." Jim pushed out his door and headed for the building.
Blair slid from the truck and followed. They waited side by side for the elevator that would take them to the loft. Take them home. Blair still found it hard to believe that Jim had actually signed over half the loft to him. He had told Jim when he signed the papers that it was just a technicality, that he didn't really own half. And that was true. If for some reason they ever had to sell or Blair had to move on, he would never take money from Jim for his half. But the gesture meant more to Blair than he could ever express.
The elevator arrived and Jim ushered Blair inside before stepping into the small car himself.
Blair waited until the doors shut before speaking again. "I called my mom before we left the station. She was glad to hear how things worked out."
Jim offered him a sideways smile. "That's great."
"She already knew about the job but you didn't tell her about the loft." He could still hear the shock in Naomi's voice when he'd relayed the information to her. He had assumed that she and Jim had planned out that early morning raid to his office together. To find out that the idea of giving him half ownership of the loft had been Jim's and Jim's alone... If he had been stunned by the gesture before, it left him breathless now. "She couldn't believe you did that, man. Hell, I'm still having trouble believing it."
"It's not a big deal, Sandburg," Jim said, rocking back slightly on his heels, his gaze locked on the numbers above the elevator door. "If something were to happen to me, you'd get the loft anyway."
"I'd get...What are you talking about?" But then he knew and the knowledge staggered him. "Jim, you changed your will, too?"
They arrived at their floor and the doors slid open. "About a year ago," Jim said casually and strode toward the loft. Blair remained where he was, unable to move as the words sunk in.
"A year ago," he breathed. The doors of the elevator began to close. Blair lurched forward, managing to catch them. He jogged down the hall, catching up to Jim just as he stepped over the threshold and into their home. "Jim, I can't believe you never told me." He tossed his keys on the table beside the door and started forward.
Jim caught Blair's arm, stopping him. "Something's wrong." He shifted the grad student behind him, his hand going to his weapon. But before he could pull it, Blair heard a loud pop. Jim fell back against him and went down, hard. Blair went with him.
"Jim? Jim!" He rolled the larger, now unconscious man off him. "Oh, God." His gaze locked on the small dart sticking out of Jim's neck. He pulled it free and dropped it with shaking hands to the floor.
&n
bsp; "I think he sensed the white noise generator."
Blair looked up. Lee Brackett stood in the kitchen leaning casually against the counter.
How the hell had he gotten out of prison? Why hadn't someone warned them? "You son of a bitch!"
"Now, now, I won't have you talk about my mother that way."
Blair pushed up from the floor, stumbling toward the phone.
"Mr. Sandburg." Brackett reached out and caught him, pulling him to a stop. "What do you think you're doing?"
Blair twisted out of his grip. "Calling 911." He snatched up the phone.
"It's just a tranquilizer. He'll be fine."
Blair looked back at Jim. His breathing seemed slow, too slow. "His senses react differently to different drugs. I have no idea how he'll react to whatever it is you just shot him full of. I'm not taking any chances."
"Put the phone down."
"I don't think you want Jim to die. If you did, you would have killed him. But if you don't let me make this call, he could do just that."
Brackett pulled out his gun and aimed it at Blair's chest.
Blair's grip increased on the receiver in his hand. "You want to shoot me? Do it. Because that's what it's going to take to get me to hang up this phone."
Alex Barnes stepped from Blair's bedroom, his backpack in her hand. "I told you we should just kill Ellison right off."
"Shut up, Alex," Brackett snapped.
Blair's gaze shifted from Brackett to Alex and back again. Brackett's reappearance now made sense to him. He had been the only person who had been able to figure out what Jim was. Knew how Blair helped him. Whoever had let Brackett out of prison had teamed him up with Alex and sent them here...for him. That knowledge gave him the edge he needed. "Listen, you let me call 911 and get Jim some help and I'll go with you. I'll train Alex. You touch Jim again or let him die and I swear to you, I will not help you."
Alex crossed to him, dropping the backpack at his feet. Reaching out, she grabbed him by the chin and forced his eyes to hers. "You'll go with us whether we let you make the call or not."
