“It’s just…” Jasmine took her mother’s hand in hers. “Let’s sit.” When they were both seated, she continued.
“When I was young, it always felt like a piece of me was missing. And it all came together in my mind when I discovered Dad wasn’t my biological father. I looked at my stepbrothers and sister. Their father was always a part of their lives, because he was their father. I didn’t understand why Daddy always froze me out. Even with divorce, other fathers participated in their children’s lives, at least some of the time. And then Daddy remarried and had another child.”
“That wasn’t his child,” her mother scoffed. “That woman had a baby by another man and passed it off as his, and he was fool enough to believe her lies. Desperate people can make themselves believe anything.”
“But he still accepted her. He treated her differently from the way he treated me. And I didn’t understand why. I took the bus to their place one day and saw him playing and cuddling with his little girl.”
“What?”
“He didn’t see me. But the point is, I always thought there was something wrong with me. Something missing, until I found out I was the product of a sperm donor. Half of me was missing. Half of who I was.”
“Honey, I loved you from the very beginning.”
“I know that. And I know all fathers aren’t the way mine was. Noelle’s father loves her. He spoils her. He’s everything a person could want in a father. Yet she still needed to meet her donor family.”
Her mother gazed at her with a sad expression. “I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s like everything is centered around you, the woman who desperately wants a baby. You didn’t adopt. The biological significance is so strong that you didn’t want to adopt. You wanted your own. Why can’t you understand that my biological history is just as important to me? You won’t lose me. You’re still my mom. Nothing will ever change that.”
Amanda looked as if she’d run smack into a brick wall and tethered there waiting to fall flat on her face.
Maybe Jasmine had said too much. Maybe this talk hadn’t been a good idea after all. What the heck did Drake know?
Amanda cleared her throat. “It…It’s that important that I see this man?”
“He’s my grandfather. He’s the first man who ever wanted me, just because I’m me. Other than Drake, that is. Can you imagine how that feels, Mama?”
Amanda’s eyes were sad when they gazed into her daughter’s soul. “Okay,” she said quietly. “I’ll have dinner at River Oaks.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
Her mother stood. “Now, let’s get ready to tour some of those little shops you’ve been raving about.”
Jasmine knew her mother’s brisk manner covered a world of hurt. She didn’t know how to breach it. Perhaps with time, they’d both find the closeness they were searching for. Hadn’t they made progress so far? Far more than she’d expected this trip.
Telling Jasmine of his sterility had been very difficult for Drake. How did you tell a woman you’re everything she doesn’t want in a man? He wasn’t ready for it to be over, but he couldn’t force her to do something she was totally against.
Drake sighed tiredly. Hugs nuzzled up to him and he scratched behind the dog’s ears, then found a biscuit for her and tossed it. Hugs went scampering across the floor to fetch it. That would keep her busy for a few minutes.
Steven came in with a towel over his shoulder. “What’re we going to do tonight?”
“Whatever you want.” The truth was, Drake didn’t want to do a thing but keep his own company. But Colin had invited them over to play cards. It was Friday night and his brothers were coming to the farm. Maybe a game would keep his mind off his misery. He told Steven about the game.
“Sounds good to me. I usually win.”
Jasmine didn’t see Drake again until the barbecue. He looked as bad as she felt. They were both suffering for no reason. She loved him.
She and Drake stayed out of each other’s way. And although her mother had been friendly on the surface, Jasmine knew she didn’t totally accept Mr. Avery. Though, Lord knows, he tried with all his enormous charm. Charm just didn’t work with her mother. Jasmine couldn’t complain, though. All in all, the barbecue had gone better than expected.
Sunday arrived very quickly. Although they had driven a rental car, Norman turned it in while Jasmine drove to the airport with her mother. Jasmine parked her car in the short-term parking so she could spend a few minutes more with her mother before she left.
Her mother went to the ticket counter to check in. Then she joined Jasmine.
“I’m so glad I came.”
“So am I,” Jasmine said.
“I couldn’t help but notice there seemed to be a problem with you and Drake.”
“We’ll sort it out, Mom. Don’t worry about it.”
“I always worry, whether you tell me to or not.” They walked toward the security checkpoint. “This week feels like a month has passed instead of merely a week.”
A lot of milestones had taken place. “I know.”
“Come visit me. Your siblings won’t be there.”
“I will, Mama. As soon as I can get a vacation. I hope Jack and Barbara make the plane.”
“If they don’t, they’re grown. They can get themselves back to L.A.”
“I can’t believe my mother is talking this way.”
“I’ve done my duty. Stay safe, sweetheart.”
“Love you, Mom.” After they hugged, her mother went through the security screening, picked up her purse and waved back at Jasmine.
Jasmine started to head home, but it was time to deal with Drake—and their future.
When Jasmine made it to Drake’s house, his truck was in the yard, but he didn’t answer the door.
She went around to the back of the house. He was sitting on the deck, nursing a glass of wine.
“Drake…”
There was a mixture of dread and hope in his eyes. Hugs rose from her sitting position to meet Jasmine. She played with the dog for a bit while she gathered her thoughts.
“Did your family get off okay?” Drake asked. He swallowed the rest of the wine as if he needed fortification and tipped his chin. “I love you, Jasmine, but I can’t marry you.” He cleared his throat. “I can’t even propose to you. The woman I marry will either have to have children already or, if she wants them, she’d have to go through the same kind of donor program your mother went through. I know how she must have felt. But I won’t ask you to do that because you’re so against it.”
Stunned, Jasmine came the rest of the way up the stairs. She felt as if a bomb had landed on her and she needed to know how to go to get out of the wreckage. But he’d said he loved her. He couldn’t ask her to marry him because he couldn’t have children.
So he wanted to marry her.
“Why didn’t you tell me this from the beginning?”
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. For the first time they broke eye contact. “I didn’t know how.”
“And you didn’t think our relationship would have ever gotten off the ground?”
He didn’t respond.
Could it be he was afraid of losing her? It was true, she had been so bitter when she arrived that she might have never given them a chance. But, he’d done so much since she got into town. He had really been her ship in the storm. Was she willing to give that up? Especially since he loved her. Love didn’t come easily. Not for her. If nothing else, there was one truth she could give him.
She reached across the abyss and grabbed his hand. His hand tightened in hers as if he were trying to hold back all kinds of emotions.
“I love you, Drake. We can make this work.”
“How? I want children.” He raised his hand and let it drop. “You want children.”
“Well, we can go the donor route.”
He was shaking his head before the words emerged.
“Don’t you see? It wasn’t the program and it wasn
’t my mother or Mackenzie. It was my father’s attitude. I can see that now. I was painting the entire program with the same brush.”
He looked as if he was afraid to believe that she really was accepting the situation.
“Hey, I’m the cautious one,” Jasmine said. “What happened to the guy who’s always willing to go headfirst?”
Drake chuckled. But he still gazed at her as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“You know, the hardest part is finding love, and the one thing I know about you is your enormous capacity to love.” She caressed his cheek. “If you can love those misfit animals enough to spend your hard-earned cash on them, you can love any child we have. I trust you, Drake.”
Drake cleared his throat. “I can’t…”
“Besides, who knows what’ll happen in the future? This sperm thing is changing all the time.”
“We can’t count on that, Jasmine.”
“I can count on you and your love.”
“And that’s enough?”
Jasmine smiled. “It’s more than enough.”
Drake’s heart expanded and contracted. He’d never believed this could happen to him. He pulled Jasmine onto his lap so fast she screamed and then laughed in delight. Hugs bounded over to them to join in the fun.
His life couldn’t get more perfect than it was at that moment.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-0559-2
THEN COMES LOVE
Copyright © 2007 by Candice Poarch
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Then Comes Love Page 17
