by Amy Andrews
He hesitated for a moment but, hell, he had seen her naked before. They’d showered together numerous times. Had even had hot, wet, soapy sex on more than one occasion. He was damned if he was going to tiptoe around in his own house!
He strode into her en suite, stopping in the doorway to lean his shoulder casually against the jamb. The bathroom was full of steam and even if he’d wanted to catch a glimpse of her wet naked body, the fogged glass made it impossible. ‘Maybe I should have installed a sauna in here for you,’ he said dryly.
Nat’s head shot up and she winced as her neck objected to the sudden movement. ‘Get the hell out of here, Alessandro.’ She was hoping for assertive but her voice had developed a croak and it sounded more desperate than definite.
‘Nothing I haven’t seen before,’ he drawled.
Satisfied he couldn’t see her through the fog, she placed her forehead back against the tiles. ‘Nothing you’re ever seeing again,’ she grouched.
‘I want to talk to you.’
Nat shut her eyes as her head thumped. ‘Yeah, well, I don’t want to talk to you.’
Alessandro’s jaw tightened. ‘It’s about Juliano. It’s important. Now, we can do it out here or I can come in there but we are having this talk, Nathalie. Now.’
Nat heard the menace in his voice and believed him. She felt so wretched all she wanted to do was burst into tears but she’d done that too much lately as it was. She was sick of feeling weak and helpless around him. Surely she could stand it as long as they focused on Juliano? And then maybe she could go to bed and sleep for a week.
‘Fine,’ she muttered, flicking off the taps. ‘Pass me a towel, please.’ She waited a moment or two and one appeared over the top of the shower stall. She grabbed it and gave herself a brisk once—over, every joint groaning but thankful that the shivering seemed to have been remedied by the hot water.
The fogged screen didn’t allow her much of a view but she could see a dark figure looming in the doorway. Nat wished she had the gumption to waltz from the shower completely naked and sail past him with utter indifference. Just to show him what he was missing out on. But she knew she didn’t have the guts to pull it off.
‘My nightdress is hanging on the rail.’
It too came over and she quickly pulled it on. Her knickers were outside in a drawer—she could worry about them after Alessandro had had his say.
She took a moment to gather herself and then pulled the door open, walking gingerly from the stall. A blast of cool air hit her heated skin and the hairs on her arms stood to attention. Her stomach lurched as she took in his casual stance. His tie was long gone and his top button was undone. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, baring strong forearms covered in dark hair. Her already wobbly knees weakened further. The overhead light glinted off his hair like moonbeams off a dark sea.
‘If you’re going to try and justify what you did, you’re wasting your breath,’ she warned as she pushed past him.
Alessandro counted to ten before he turned to face her. No, he wasn’t. It was better this way. Let her think what she wanted. It couldn’t be worse than names he’d called himself. If this was his punishment for entering into a loveless marriage, for the argument with Camilla and its subsequent domino effect, so be it.
He didn’t want neither did he deserve her feelings. He’d squandered love once already and now he was paying. He didn’t expect happiness.
His gaze roved over her face. Her cheeks were flushed from the hot shower. She looked all pink and fresh. He could smell soap and he wanted to pull her close and bury his nose in the place where her neck met her shoulder. He shoved his hands in his pockets.
‘I told you, it’s about Juliano,’ he said gravely. ‘He knows something is up. He’s worried about you.’
The thought that Alessandro’s precious little boy was worrying about her was touching. She pictured his uptight little face when she’d first met him and knew she couldn’t bear to see him so solemn again.
‘I was thinking today we should float the idea of me moving out at the end of the week so it’s not sprung on him,’ she said. ‘We’ll tell him the unit’s finished earlier than expected.’
Alessandro nodded with difficulty. She’d made such a difference in their lives it was hard to believe she’d been in it for such a brief time. Like Mary Poppins. Juliano, who’d already been through a major loss, was going to miss her. So would he. He already missed the smell of her and her warmth plastered to his side as he lay in bed at night.
‘Perhaps in the meantime you could act like we haven’t been quarantined for ebola?’
Nat glanced at him sharply, each neck vertebrae groaning in protest. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Well, you haven’t exactly been your usual touchy-feely, happy-go-lucky self,’ Alessandro pointed out. He missed that the most. The little smiles she’d give him, the brush of her hand on his arm or his back as she went by, the quick automatic ruffle of Juliano’s hair.
Nat felt another shiver quake through her abdominal muscles as her ire rose. She wrapped her arms around her middle and glared at him. ‘Gee, sorry bout that. I don’t know what on earth could have come over me.’
Alessandro watched a spark of anger glitter in her eyes and her cheeks redden further. ‘I never meant to hurt you, Nathalie.’
‘Yeah, well, you did, Alessandro,’ she snapped. ‘So you’ll have to forgive me if I can’t just shake that off and act like nothing happened.’
Her bitterness was tangible and Alessandro felt lower than snake’s belly. The last thing he’d wanted to do was hurt another woman. Especially one who had come to mean so much in such a short space of time.
But, damn it, he’d never promised her anything. Certainly not love or any kind of happy ever after. Same with Camilla. She’d known the deal when they’d married. But she’d never tired of turning the screws ever tighter. The weight of his guilt was like a boulder on his chest and sometimes he felt like he could barely breathe.
He was sick of carrying around all that extra weight. He’d let Camilla pile it on him but standing in front of Nathalie he was suddenly utterly over being the guilty party. ‘I never asked you to fall in love with me,’ he snapped.
Nat’s head was throbbing again and her body felt like one giant bruise. It hurt to talk, it hurt to think, but something goaded her on. Maybe it was the flu—she’d never been this bitchy with Rob. After years of sharing she’d just accepted that she couldn’t compete with his ex and let him go. But this was like a festering wound and deep inside she knew it needed lancing.
‘No, you didn’t. It was just about the sex, wasn’t it? And what a bonus you got in me, huh?’
Alessandro ignored the edge of hysteria. He’d never seen her so riled. But her assertion that he had just been using her body was way off base. It may not have been love but it had been more than a superficial physical liaison—of that he was certain.
‘I think you know I feel more deeply than that,’ he said tightly. ‘How many times have I shown you these last weeks?’
Nat wasn’t sure if it was the fever or his simplistic statement that caused her hysterical laugh. ‘Sex?’ Her eyebrows practically hit her hairline as her voice rose an octave to almost a squeak. She felt her blood surging through her neck veins and pounding around her head, flushing her cheeks further. Her head felt like it was about to blow off her shoulders.
He had to be joking! ‘Sex isn’t love, Alessandro. No matter how many times you do it.’
The fervour in her eyes was compelling. ‘Inferno,’ Alessandro roared. She was being impossible. ‘I only meant—’
‘Stop it, stop it, stop it!’
Alessandro and Nat looked down as Juliano hurled himself between them. He had tears streaming down his face and was clutching Flo in his arms.
‘Juliano!’ Alessandro crouched down and hugged the distressed little boy in his arms. How long had he been watching them?
Nat was speechless. What an awful thing for him
to have witnessed. The poor darling had probably never witnessed a man and a woman arguing like this. She felt a rush of light-headedness as she stroked Juliano’s head.
Alessandro glanced up at Nat in time to see her sway dangerously. ‘Nathalie?’
She heard his voice coming from far away as her vision blackened at the edges, becoming narrower and narrower. ‘Alessandro?’ she whispered as she stumbled forward.
He reacted quickly, catching her before he was even fully upright. She slumped against him as if her bones had dissolved and he frowned as her heated skin scorched his. Inferno! She was burning up. He swept her up into his arms. ‘Nathalie?’ He shook her gently, her limbs swinging limply rag-doll fashion.
‘Papa?’
Alessandro could hear the fear and worry wobble Juliano’s voice. Nat stirred and murmured something unintelligible. ‘It’s okay, matey. She’s just fainted.’
Alessandro gave her another shake. ‘Nathalie? Are you okay?’
Nat could vaguely hear him. She sighed. It was bliss to have the burden of keeping upright taken from her. ‘Damn flu,’ she muttered.
‘Is she sick, Papa?’
Alessandro looked down at Juliano. ‘I think she may have flu.’
Juliano’s eyes grew saucer-like. ‘Swamp flu?’
‘I’d say so.’ Alessandro looked at the bits and pieces of paper, the three books and two magazines littering the surface of her bed. ‘Come on, Juliano, help me get her into bed.’
Juliano also looked at the bed and then shook his head. ‘No. Your bed. When I was sick you let me sleep in your bed. And Nat said there’s no better place when you’re sick then Papa’s bed.’
Alessandro gave him a wry smile. Somehow he didn’t think she’d meant it to apply to her. But he looked down into her flushed face. She looked so…still. He couldn’t bear the thought of her sick and alone. Plus, given the flu’s severity it would help him keep a closer eye on her. She may well hate him for it in a couple of days but Juliano was right.
He grinned down at his son. ‘Good thinking, Juliano.’ And he strode out of her room with Juliano and Flo trotting behind.
Juliano stayed with Nat while Alessandro went downstairs to get her some of the antiviral medication they’d been given in case one of them did come down with flu. It wasn’t going to cure it but hopefully it would reduce the severity and duration. He also grabbed a couple of cold-and-flu tablets he had with his other medicines.
When he returned, Juliano was stroking Flo with one hand and Nat’s hair with the other. ‘She’s still sleeping, Papa,’ he said earnestly as Alessandro sat on the side of the bed.
He smiled at his son. ‘I imagine she’ll be sleepy for a couple of days.’ He reached out his hand and shook Nat’s shoulder gently. ‘Nathalie, wake up. I have some tablets for you.’ She didn’t move so he shook her a little firmer.
Nat prised her eyes open even as sleep fought to tug them closed. The room was dim and her surroundings were blurry but somehow though she knew she was in Alessandro’s bed. His smell surrounded her.
Their smell surrounded her.
She half sat, displacing Flo. ‘I shouldn’t be in here. I don’t want you to catch it.’ And for about a million other reasons.
‘The best place when you’re sick is Papa’s bed,’ Juliano repeated gravely.
Alessandro smiled. ‘Juliano’s recent flu will probably be more than sufficient immunity and I got flu in January so don’t worry, I reckon we’ll be fine. Anyway, it’s too late now. If we’re going to get it, it’s already incubating.’
He opened his palms to offer her the pills and was grateful when she didn’t argue any more. He passed her a glass of water to swallow them with. ‘The results from your nose swab today should be in tomorrow so we’ll know for sure whether it’s swamp flu.’
Nat nodded wearily as she sank back into the pillows, her eyes already shut. ‘Hmm,’ she muttered as she drifted towards a dark abyss.
Alessandro put Juliano to bed a couple of hours later and checked on Nat again. She’d kicked her coverings off and was lying in a fairly good likeness of the recovery position, her back to the door. Her nightdress had ridden up and he could just see a glimpse of bare cheek. He’d forgotten she wasn’t wearing any underwear. He strode across the room, pulled the sheet up and got the hell out.
A few hours later he came up again with some more tablets. The sheets were kicked off again but she was much more decent this time, having rolled onto her back, her clothes covering her completely.
He woke her and she roused only enough to swallow the pills and slurp down some water before collapsing back against the sheets again. He pulled the covers up and headed back to his office.
It was well after midnight when he returned to his room for the night. He was tired and couldn’t avoid it any longer. The sheets were off again when he entered and he smiled to himself. She was worse than Juliano. He left her as she was for the moment, knowing he’d pull them up when he joined her after his shower.
He lingered under the spray, his mind wandering to the peek of bare flesh he’d had earlier. It seemed like months since he’d touched her intimately. Run his hand over the curve of her bottom, had it snuggled into his groin.
Knowing she was back in his bed and had nothing on beneath her nightdress was having a predictable effect and he quickly turned the hot water off, bracing himself against the cold spray. Inferno! She was sick, for God’s sake. Feverish and fluey. How dared he let his libido take control?
He towelled himself off briskly and threw on some cotton boxers and a T-shirt then gently eased into bed, careful not to disturb her. She was on her side again, her back facing him. He lifted the sheet over her, his hand touching her arm to gauge her temperature, pleased to find her skin was cool to touch.
Maybe she’d be spared a severe infection and recover quickly? After spending half the night scaring himself senseless by reading swamp flu stats, he hoped so. The thought was comforting anyway and despite doubting he’d be able to sleep at all he actually drifted off with surprising ease.
He woke half an hour later to Nat’s shaky voice and groping hands trailing fire down his abdomen.
‘I’m s-so c-cold,’ she stuttered, her teeth chattering as her body, like a biological homing device, instinctively sought the nearest source of heat.
Alessandro automatically bundled her closer, pulling her into his side, his hand rubbing up and down her arm. Despite her shivering, she felt very hot and he knew she was having rigor.
Nat felt some relief from the cold that bit at her arms and legs and nipped at her fingers and toes as she absorbed the warmth from Alessandro’s body. Her teeth chattered and she whimpered as her whole body trembled violently, shaking through already inflamed joints and her thumping head.
‘Shh,’ Alessandro murmured as he rhythmically rubbed her back and arm. ‘Shh.’
She tried to snuggle closer. Tried to press as much of herself against him as possible, tried to become absorbed into him, into his heat, into his vitality. ‘So c-cold.’
‘Roll onto your other side,’ Alessandro murmured.
Nat protested but he was moving and turning her gently, his hand on her hip, and with his help she rolled over. And then he was wrapping himself around her, spooning her, pulling her into his big warm chest, covering her limbs with his and plastering himself to every square inch of exposed skin.
It felt heavenly and she almost groaned out loud. She felt him kiss her hair and she nestled closer. Somewhere beneath the fever and the chills and the aches and pains she knew it was wrong but frankly she was too sick to care and as the rigor held her in its grip she’d never been more thankful to be held.
Nat wasn’t sure of time and place when she woke alone the next morning. The curtains were drawn, only a few rays of sunlight finding the gaps. It took a few seconds to realise she was in Alessandro’s bed and the memory of him holding her, spooning with her, in the middle of the night returned in a rush.
She loo
ked over her shoulder to see the bedside clock. Her neck was stiff and her head felt all fuzzy, like she’d been given a lobotomy in the middle of the night and her skull stuffed with cotton wool.
Ten a.m.
‘Ah, you’re awake.’
Nat rolled on her back. He was standing in the doorway in shorts and T-shirt, his hair ruffled, his jaw dark with stubble.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Like I’ve been run over by a truck.’ Her mouth was dry and she licked her lips.
‘Fancy some breakfast?’
Her stomach revolted at the very thought. ‘Just some water.’ She ran her tongue across her teeth. ‘And a toothbrush.’
Alessandro grinned as he entered the room. ‘Here are your next lot of pills. Why don’t you take them, get up, have a shower and come back to bed?’
A shower sounded like bliss but just stretching her legs was a challenge. They felt like someone had been punching them repeatedly all night. She looked in the direction of her bedroom and doubted she could walk that far. ‘I’m not sure I’m up to the trek.’
‘Use my en suite. I’ll get you some fresh clothes.’
He’d gone before she could answer and she was too weary to argue. It was, after all, the most sensible suggestion. And it wasn’t like it was uncharted territory for her.
She shuffled to the side of the bed and slowly sat upright. A wave of light-headedness assaulted her and she shut her eyes until the dizziness passed. She downed the tablets and then stood gingerly on rubber legs, walking slowly to the shower.
Nat felt as weak as a newborn foal standing beneath the water and knew despite the luxury of the spray needling her skin she wouldn’t be able to stay there for long. She leaned against the tiles, made a paltry attempt at throwing soap in all the right places and then shut off the taps.
She poked her head out of the screen and found a towel and clean pyjamas, even a pair of knickers hanging over the rail. She leaned against the vanity as she dried and dressed, her gaze falling on her toothbrush sitting next to Alessandro’s.
