by Andrea Young
“Not sure, to tell you the truth. Oklahoma, I think.”
“Oh, geez, that’s far.”
“My uncle followed the rodeo circuit so we traveled all over.”
“What did you do for the rodeo?”
“It’s where we sold horses. Right before winter we’d round up mustangs and drive them to lower ground. When the spring grasses came they’d graze for thirty days and get fat. I’d break and gentle as many as I could, then come May, we’d take them to the sale. My uncle would cull out what he thought would be good broncs and sell those to the rodeos; the others we’d sell as saddle horses.”
“That doesn’t sound all bad.”
“It wasn’t. I mean, I stopped going to school, slept in the backseat of a truck most of the year, which wasn’t so great. During the winter I lived on the mountain with the horses. I’d look out for the herd until my uncle sent wranglers up to help bring them in. My uncle stayed in town, wheeling, dealing, drinking, and gambling.”
“Actually, Joe, that sounds kinda lonely.”
“I got used to it. I’d spend all day every day with the horses. I really got to know ’em and understand how they think and why they behave like they do. They were wild but I could walk with them and touch them. I was accepted as one of their own.” Finny grasped Joe’s hand and held it in both of hers. She fought back tears even though as Joe told his tale he didn’t seem sad. She was struck by how isolated he must have felt with no family, no friends, even in the wonderful world of horses. Finny didn’t know what to say, or how Joe felt about her holding his hand. In typical fashion, he didn’t show acceptance or rejection. Joe, always the observer, watched and waited. Finny gently squeezed his hand before letting it go.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Joe said softly.
“I’m sorry. I cry so easily these days.”
“Don’t worry, once you hit sixteen, all will be better. I’m livin’ proof.”
Finny dried her eyes with her sleeve and laughed.
“Good.”
“It’s a milestone, you know, a rite-of-passage age.”
Finny laughed again. She wanted to kiss him so badly. He was so handsome and sweet, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it—once that line was crossed there’d be no going back.
“Shall we go hit up Vel for lunch?”
“Yep.” Joe grabbed his midsection. “I’m starving.”
“When aren’t you?”
“Good question—never.”
Vel hung up the phone. “A separated shoulder, and some torn ligaments.”
Finny dropped the rest of her sandwich on her plate and slumped back in the seat.
“It could have been worse; it could have been broken,” Vel said, trying to ease Finny’s mind. Finny nodded but looked green.
“Kids, I got to run back to work. Lock up when you’re done.”
“We will, Vel. Thank you for lunch,” Joe said.
“Anytime, guys. See you later.” Vel dashed off. Joe sat across from Finny.
“Jeff getting hurt will be all Elsa needs to get me kicked out of there.”
“Are you serious?”
Finny shrugged. “I don’t know. I think Jeff likes me, well did anyway.”
“I’m sure he still does.”
Finny let out a sigh and looked at her watch. “I better head for home.”
“So early?”
“I go to my dad’s tonight. He wanted me to be ready to go by three.”
“Oh. I’ll walk you to your house then.”
“Are you sure? It’s more miles on your leg.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Leg feels great and I’d like to see where you live.”
“Okay.”
After cleaning up from lunch, Finny and Joe locked the door behind them and headed for Finny’s house.
They walked in silence for the first two miles. It was a comfortable silence. They were at ease in each other’s company. Mile three, Finny let out a moan.
“What’s wrong?”
“I won’t see you or Sky till Monday.”
Joe nodded his head but said nothing. These were the times that Finny wished he’d say, Yeah, that’s a drag or I’ll miss you, but he never did. Finny knew they were friends. She reasoned that just because he didn’t say it, didn’t mean he didn’t feel it.
“So, will you miss me?” Finny couldn’t believe she spoke those words out loud. She closed her eyes and got ready for the laugh or the startled answer.
“Sure will,” he stated simply, like it went without saying. She immediately felt better, lighter, happy.
Finny groaned internally. She realized fully the profound effect Joe’s presence had on her. She had become her most feared stereotype: a certified lunatic, completely hung up on a boy and apparently hopeless. Two days without him—she didn’t think she could take it.
They stopped in front of a quaint blue and white-trimmed two-story house. The perfectly maintained lawn stretched up a short hill to a small white porch.
“This is where I live.”
“Oh, wow, it’s so big and beautiful.”
“This is a typical tract home. If you want big you should see Elsa’s.”
Joe continued to study the house and the surrounding neighborhood, mapping it out in his head.
“You want to go inside?”
“What about your mom?”
“She’s not home, but even if she was, it’d be cool.”
They walked up the drive, through the garage, past a mountain of toddler toys the twins no longer played with, and into the kitchen.
“Want some cookies or something? There’s a lot of little-kid-friendly food here.”
“Sure, anything.”
Finny searched around the cupboard and pulled out some cookies, then milk from the fridge. She placed it in front of Joe who was still wide-eyed, surveying the room.
She sat down at the kitchen table to eat with him.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I asked my mom for any clothes my stepdad didn’t want. I told her it was for a friend. They’re in a bag by the closet.”
“Clothes? Do you think they’ll fit?”
“Close enough.” Finny saw he was excited. She got up and grabbed the bag.
“These are so great. If my T-shirts get any more holes they’ll be more holes than shirt.” Joe was searching the bag thoroughly. “Finny, I can start my job not looking like a bum. Thanks again—for the millionth time.”
Finny smiled as Joe held up different shirts deciding which one to wear. She propped her elbows on the table, put her chin in her hands, and watched him, disgusted at herself for being so happy.
Chapter Ten
JOE LAY IN HIS BED AND LOOKED THROUGH THE window at the stars. He was listening to his birthday gift from Finny. When she handed him the wrapped present yesterday he had to hold back a moan. She had already given him so much it was embarrassing. He opened the box and pulled out the small metal object. He hadn’t a clue what it was. “It’s an iPod,” Finny said. “For listening to music. I put a bunch of songs on it I thought you’d like.” Joe looked at the slim object and didn’t see how that was possible with no knobs or dials. He knew he had big gaps in knowledge. It wasn’t easy keeping up with things when you don’t go to school, watch TV, or hang out with other kids your age. He did his best not to let his ignorance show. Joe thanked Finny and slipped it into his pocket. Finny, with one eyebrow raised, put her hand out, palm up. Joe took it out of his pocket and put it in her hand. She showed him how it worked. At first he was startled at the amazing sound. Within two minutes he was mesmerized.
Joe turned off the iPod and put it away. He arranged his pillows so he could see outside the window more easily. The stars were different this far west. He knew the constellations his father had taught him. Joe went through the ones he could see. He didn’t want to forget anything his parents had told him. He wondered where, in the mass of stars, heaven was. Joe said a silent prayer to his parents, thanking them for leading him to
California, for leading him to Finny.
He had a plan. He’d start his job, begin to make money and support himself. He wanted to train Sky to perfection. Then he wanted to buy Finny nice things and take her out on a date in a car and treat her right. Once he could do those things he’d ask her to be his girlfriend. The thought sent a chill down his spine. He closed his eyes tight, to shut out the worry that she was only around because he was pitiful and needed help as much as her horse. Joe didn’t want to be her project. He knew she felt bad for him. He didn’t want her to feel bad, to feel pity. Could you love someone you pitied? Joe didn’t think so.
As soon as Finny arrived at her dad’s house, her half brother and sister dashed from their rooms and jumped on her.
“Finny, come see my new goldfish!” Four-year-old Jordan was trying to drag her to his room.
“Okay, okay, I’m coming!” She picked up her two-year-old sister who had clamped onto her leg.
“They love when you come,” Linda, Finny’s stepmother, told her. Finny thought Linda, petite and pretty, with brown hair and eyes, bore a striking resemblance to her mother.
“Let’s go, guys. I can’t wait to see your fish.” Her brother led the way. Finny kept her hyper siblings entertained and by dinnertime they had finally settled so they all could sit down to eat.
“Hey Daddy, I showed Finny my fish! She liked it.”
“That’s ’cause she has good taste, Jordan.” Finny’s dad gave her a wink then said, “So, we have a birthday coming up.”
Finny nodded and hoped the conversation would lead in the direction of a cell phone. A new saddle would have been nice, too, but she knew her dad wouldn’t be any more receptive to that idea than her mom would be.
“Have you thought of what you’d like?” Her dad was nonchalant when he asked. Every year since she had the ability to speak she’d asked for a horse. Didn’t need that now.
“I know it’s a lot but is there a chance of getting a cell phone?”
“Cell phone? I was expecting you to ask for a horse,” Linda said.
“I’ve asked for a horse for the last ten years. It’s time to move on.” Finny felt her face flush. She studied her food. She hated to lie. Or at least not tell the full truth.
“That’s very mature of you, Finny,” her dad said.
“So, does that mean I’m mature enough for a phone? I’m, like, the only kid on the planet without one. I’d keep the bill down, I promise,” Finny reasoned.
“I’ll think about it. Pass the ketchup, please.”
Finny did, and then let the conversation drop. I’ll think about it usually meant no.
By the time dinner was over the kids were anxious to play so they dashed off and her dad went to spend time with them. This gave Finny some alone time with Linda. She wanted to ask her an important question, even though she was feeling guilty about it. If her mom knew she’d gone to Linda, instead of her, she would be very hurt.
“Hey, Linda, can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure, Finny. Can you bring the dinner plates from the table?”
Finny picked up as many plates as she could carry and put them on the counter. Linda was putting away the leftovers in the fridge.
“Give them a good rinse before putting them in the dishwasher.”
“Okay . . . So Linda, how do you know, or like how can you tell, if you’re in love?” Linda closed the refrigerator door and looked at Finny with a bemused smile. “Finny, you’re too young to be in love.”
Finny chewed her lip and let out a quiet but frustrated breath. She was hoping for more than a pat answer. Finny rinsed the dinner plates and set them in the dishwasher. She thought again about asking her mom. She just didn’t want to deal with the questions. Who is he, how did you meet, where does he live? What makes you think you’re in love? Or even worse questions that were sure to follow. How serious are you, have you kissed him, do we need to have the talk?
Finny looked up to try one more time with Linda, but she had left the room.
Chapter Eleven
THE SUN WAS SETTING, ENDING NOT ONLY THE day but the summer. It was Sunday night and Finny had her father drop her off at Azure Hills instead of home. She wanted to see Sky and Joe. School was starting tomorrow and Finny couldn’t have been less excited. The summer of her fourteenth year would be hard to forget, her dream come true. She had a horse of her own and on top of that a best friend. Finny spotted Joe leaning into Sky’s corral, watching him.
“Hey, Joe.”
Startled by her voice, he turned quickly and a smile lit up his face. Finny’s heart flipped in her chest. He must like me as more than a friend, she thought.
“Hey, Finny! Sky’s doing great. He seems settled down. You know, I think that fall seemed to have knocked some sense into him.”
“It would be nice if something good came from that day.”
“Hey, wanna check out my new trailer?”
Finny gave Sky a pat and a carrot and the two made their way to Silver Spur. They chose to walk the road instead of the field.
“Look how the broken glass pieces along the road shine like diamonds.” Joe dislodged some and sent them flying with a quick stab from his toe.
“I wish they were diamonds. That’d solve everything,” Finny said.
“What’s to solve? Everything’s perfect. I have a home and a job, and Sky is going to be okay.” Finny realized Joe was right. On top of that, he was happy. When he smiled big, dimples appeared.
“You’re right, Joe, totally right. I’m going to miss hanging out all day with you though.”
“Me too, Finny, but I got to work, and you got school.”
“How’s your leg feel? It’s four days now without the immobilizer, right?”
“Feels perfect.” Joe dashed off a few steps, spun, and ran back. Finny laughed at his display.
“Don’t go overboard.”
“You kiddin’ me? I am a model of self-control. I wanted to run all the way, but see, walkin’.”
“I’m amazed by your restraint.” Joe’s good mood was rubbing off. She was glad he was happy. Joe deserved to be happy. They made it through the gates and down the driveway. The mobile home that was now Joe’s stood well behind the main barn, near Carl and Ray’s small house.
“Have you been in it yet?”
“Yep, I checked it out. I figure with your trailer now for sale, I’d better stop taking my chances there and get moved in here.”
“You’re right. We’ve been lucky.”
“Wanna race the rest of the way?”
“Joe, don’t be silly. You need to save your leg,” Finny said, then blasted off full speed toward the trailer.
“Oh, not fair!” Joe took off too. Once at the door Finny let Joe pass to go in first. He turned the knob; with a loud squeak of protesting hinges, the door opened. The first thing they encountered was the smell: mildew and stale air.
“We need to open all the windows,” Finny gasped.
The trailer had three rooms and six windows total. Once they were opened, breathing was possible. There was no furniture, just dirt and trash.
“Finny, can you believe this?”
“No.”
“Isn’t it incredible?”
“Oh, uh, yes. It’s great.” Finny realized she and Joe had wildly different definitions of incredible. Joe wandered through all the rooms, then opened the cabinets in the kitchen.
“I know it needs cleanin’, but this is my home.” Joe crossed his arms and surveyed the place. His smile said it all.
“First thing as soon as I’m back from school, let’s clean it top to bottom. Then we got to get you some furniture.”
“I get paid in two weeks, Finny. Two weeks and I’ll be set.”
Chapter Twelve
AT 6 AM THE ALARM RANG. FINNY GOT OUT of bed and was showered and dressed before 6:30. She got up earlier than normal. Doing hair and makeup took a little more time. Finny liked how she looked with makeup. If anything, she looked older. In on
e week she would be; she’d turn fifteen. Finny put her lip gloss in her pocket because it wouldn’t survive breakfast and went downstairs. The kitchen was empty. Finny’s heart tugged in her chest. She chewed on her lip and listened for her mother. All quiet. Throughout the summer she had made her own breakfast and done her own thing. But on her first day of school Finny thought her mom would at least be down to say, “Have a good day!” or something.
Finny poured some cereal and milk and sat at the table. She heard the chatter of her sisters and some thumps coming from their room above. She knew her mom would be up attending to them soon. After putting her dishes in the sink, Finny grabbed her backpack and went upstairs. She found her mom in her sisters’ room.
“Hey, Mom, I’m heading off to school.”
Beth gave up trying to get one of the twins to come out from under the bed and stood to hug Finny. “Have a wonderful day, honey.” She held Finny at arm’s reach. “You look so beautiful, and how you do your eye makeup is really elegant.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Do you have everything you need?”
Finny patted her backpack. “I do.”
“Okay, baby. Have fun.”
Finny, feeling better, went to the bus stop and waited. A few kids she recognized from the neighborhood made their way to the stop. She hadn’t given them a thought all summer. Her world was the stables now. She said hello, but like her, no one seemed too excited to be there.
Day one of school turned out to be uneventful. Finny got her new locker and all her books and managed to get to her classes on time. She typically got good grades and liked school, but today was a countdown. Every minute that ticked by put her closer to Joe and Sky. When the bell rang, Finny grabbed her books, bolted from the classroom, and crashed right into someone. It was Dale, from the feed store.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you.” Finny was terribly embarrassed; she’d all but knocked him down.
“Don’t be. I should know when the bell rings to watch out.” Finny laughed, then hugged her books to her chest.
