"Come on, man, give me some credit. No, just us. At the grill. I'll email Mom and let her know once we're back on board."
They both still look stunned, but Melissa clears her throat and says, "Well. Good. Have fun."
Austin gives my arm a squeeze. "We will."
*****
I've been ready for Austin for twenty minutes, because I didn't want to be late and keep him waiting, and when he finally knocks on my cabin door I'm so worked up I knock over the water I've been nervously sipping.
"One second," I call, hurrying to the bathroom to grab a towel. Once I've soaked up the worst of the spill, I throw the towel in the direction of its rod in the bathroom and open the door.
Then my heart stops.
I thought Austin looked good in a t-shirt and shorts, or in his bathing suit, but in a dark-purple dress shirt that makes his eyes glow and sleek black pants that flatter his body more ridiculously than he likes to flatter me? It should be illegal to look this gorgeous.
For an instant I think evil thoughts about the knee-length white dress with a pattern of bold cobalt blue flowers I brought with me as my sole semi-fancy outfit, but when Austin's eyes widen and he says, "Corinne, you're way too good for the likes of me," I push those thoughts aside and grin at him.
"I was just thinking the same thing about you."
"Then you're crazy. I'm right, and you're crazy." He grins back, then leans in and gives me another of those slow wonderful kisses. When it ends, he hugs me tight then says, "Ready for dinner?"
I nod and we make our way to the grill. The place was nice enough during the day when we had lunch, but for the evening its lights are down low and candles glow on every table.
The next two hours are the best of my life. The restaurant is full of diners, but it's set up so you're not sitting leg-to-leg with your neighbors which means Austin and I have space to be on our own, and our server is friendly and attentive without giving me even a hint of a feeling that she wants us to hurry up and get out. We have salads to start, then Austin orders steak and I get chicken so that we can each have half of the other's food and get two meals in one, and every bite is delicious.
Even more delicious, though, is being with Austin like this. Our other outings have been fun and flirty, and I've loved them, but this one has 'date' written all over it and that takes it to a completely different level. We talk like we've known each other for years, and he's completely open about how much his mother leaving his father hurt him.
"I felt like if she could leave him like that, then she could leave me too. She did eventually tell me she'd never leave me, but by then I'd spent ages believing she could and..." He shrugs. "I guess I still do. Although of course I'm off on my own now. A respectable businessman. Occasionally respectable, anyhow."
"What kind of business do you do?"
"I'm a stockbroker." He winks at me. "Got any hot tips?"
I smile. "Not a one. But if I hear any I'll let you know."
"You'd better." He smiles back, but there's sadness in it. "I feel bad for my kid self, you know? I get it more now, as what passes for an adult, but that little guy was truly terrified that one morning he'd wake up and she wouldn't be there."
I reach out and give his hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry. I kind of felt the same thing, but with me I knew my mom wouldn't leave me intentionally. But Dad had walked out so if something happened to Mom I figured I'd be all alone."
He squeezes my hand back. "Interesting. We're almost opposites. I was scared my mom would leave me and you knew yours wouldn't, but I knew Dad was probably an option if all else failed and you... weren't so sure, let's say."
I give him a half-smile. "We can say that I was sure he wouldn't be an option. He took off to find himself, and I never got the impression that having me and Galen around would help him with that."
Austin rolls his eyes. "The time to 'find yourself' is before you have a kid. Once you do, you're found. You're a parent. End of story. You can't bail out and do your own thing. Kids need parents, both parents, to feel safe."
My stomach lurches, tossing my chicken and Austin's steak around unpleasantly. How he feels about single parenting is stirring up all my greatest fears.
But I won't tell him I'm pregnant. There's no reason to. We're not going to be anything afterward, so why ruin things now?
I take a deep breath and make myself nod. "That's the best way, for sure."
"I'm not meant to be 'that guy'," he says, "the one who... who is there for people. I like the concept but it's just not me. Like I said before, I go one day at a time. No looking forward. And 'that guy' needs to do that. Which is why I haven't gone there. People need to pay attention to who they are and not try to be something they're not. If Mom had thought about it beforehand for more than five minutes, she wouldn't have married my dad. They were totally incompatible."
"But then you wouldn't be here." I'm trying to sound like I'm joking but the thought of him not existing feels awful. He's certainly made my cruise about a million times more enjoyable.
He shrugs. "I wouldn't know I wasn't here." Then he shakes his head. "How did we get on such a serious topic? Anyhow. Tell me what you want to do for the rest of the cruise. Anything you want. I'm yours for the duration."
I pick up on the wording, and though a part of me feels miserable I tell it to smarten up. I knew he wouldn't be around afterward. I take a breath to tell him I'd like to do more snorkeling and he says, "Actually, there's one thing we have to do. Friday night's midnight chocolate buffet is seriously amazing. Mel's friend Wendy was here last year and I honestly thought she was going to keel over and die right there. Will you go with me?"
I pretend to look thoughtful. "Amazing chocolate and you. Hmm. I guess so."
He laughs. "Thank you for your sacrifice on my behalf. Now, what else?"
"Snorkeling?"
He nods. "Yes, ma'am. We'll go tomorrow, and then we can go Thursday too. Friday we're at sea, but if you want we can float around in the pool and pretend it's the ocean."
I laugh. "Won't be quite the same, I don't think."
"So true," he says, but his eyes shift past me and I see his face change, grow cool and somehow less open.
I'm about to ask him what's wrong when I am enveloped in a cloud of sickly-sweet perfume and hear a woman coo, "Austin, it's you! I hoped you'd be back this year."
I look up to see a tall thin but busty blonde, who should be a model if she isn't, in a skin-tight silver dress. Her eyes flick over me then dismiss me and she turns her full attention on Austin. "I happened to be on the cruise at the same time this year, and I hadn't seen you yet, but just now I looked across the room and there you were." She lays a hand on his shoulder. "How are you?"
"We're fine, thank you." There's nothing rude in his tone but compared to her exuberance he sounds icy.
She pauses a moment. "You remember me, right? We were together for the last two days of the cruise," she says, putting a world of meaning into the word 'together'.
My stomach clenches. It's not like I thought he was a virgin, but I don't need to see this beautiful blonde who clearly knows that for sure.
Austin looks at me, and I can see he's torn. It feels like I'm being torn too, torn apart, and I can't stand it. I'm not supposed to be falling for him. I push my chair back. "I'll get out of your way."
"No!"
He nearly shouts it, and the nearby diners turn to us.
His face reddens so much it must hurt, and he looks up at the blonde and says quietly, "I do remember you. But that was last year. Things are different now. I... I'd appreciate it if you left us alone. Please."
I can't believe it. I gave him the option to get rid of me, and not only did he not take it but he's not even hinting at seeing her again later. This isn't the guy Melissa told me he was.
But then she never suggested he'd be cruel either, and dumping me to go off with another woman would have been vicious.
The blonde stands frozen for a moment, then spins around
and I hear her heels clicking away across the hardwood floor, picking up speed as she goes.
Austin and I sit without a word for several long seconds, then he sighs. "I don't know what to say."
"It's okay," I murmur, pulling my chair back to the table.
"It's not. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"
"For what?" I ask, genuinely curious. I don't like the situation, but he hasn't done anything wrong and I'm surprised he feels he needs forgiveness. "Because you were with her last year? When we hadn't even met?" I make myself add in as casual a tone as I can manage, "Just promise you'll remember me next year too."
He rubs a hand over his forehead, and while I can't see his eyes he says, "I will." His voice is rough, and it sends shivers through me. I'll never forget him, but I didn't expect him to feel the same way. Melissa warned me he wouldn't, after all.
As I wonder whether this is just part of the 'make you feel like the only girl in the world' thing he does, he clears his throat and says in his usual light tone, "Okay, look, can we pretend that never happened?"
I say sure, of course, and we try, but a bit of the gloss has come off the evening and I hate it.
It's still lovely being with him, sharing a delicious slice of cheesecake while he sips coffee and I toy with a tea that is nearly exactly how I like it, but the blonde seems to hover over us as surely as if she hadn't left. As a result, when we finish our meal and are walking out I expect Austin to wish me a pleasant evening and call it a night.
Instead, he says, "I'd love to go look at the view again. If you're up for it."
Relieved, I say, "Definitely."
He smiles and we take the stairs up to the top of the ship. When we emerge onto the deck, we have a choice: go to the left, to the place he said before was the most beautiful one on the ship, or go to the right where we had our first kiss.
I point in both directions. "Where to?"
He takes my hand and guides me to the right without hesitation. When we get there, he pulls me into his arms. "I... I really am sorry about that, at dinner," he says softly.
I shake my head against his chest. "It's okay. I know you've had... friends on board. Don't worry about it."
"Thank you," he murmurs, and I feel him rest his cheek against the top of my head as he tightens his arms around me. "I am, though. I just wish it hadn't happened."
"Me too," I admit, snuggling into him and trying to clear my mind of everything but how good his hug feels. I can't, though. Knowing he's had... friends... and seeing one of those friends are two very different things. I know I shouldn't care, I know, but I do. A lot.
Chapter Seven
Melissa grins at me. "Well, I'm glad you guys had fun yesterday." She nudges Austin. "And extra-glad to hear you behaved."
Austin gives her a mock pout. "I always behave."
"Usually badly."
"Isn't that still behaving?"
We all laugh then lapse into silence, and with Austin's arm close around me I sit crocheting laboriously away on the cotton scarf I'm making and remembering exactly how much fun we had yesterday and how well he behaved.
After a leisurely private breakfast on the balcony of his cabin, we tore ourselves away from the breathtaking view and headed out to the day's island. He had booked us two snorkeling excursions, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and both the marine life we saw and the kisses we shared were amazing.
Between the snorkeling sessions we had lunch then took a nap lying side-by-side holding hands on lounge chairs beneath a sun umbrella. When I woke up and saw him, looking peaceful and vulnerable in his sleep, my heart hurt so much at the thought of how soon I'd be losing him that not even thinking about how great it would be when my plan was successful and I had my baby made me feel better.
Luckily I fell asleep again, so he didn't see the pain that was no doubt in my eyes, and when he woke me later with gentle kisses on my cheeks and eyelids the sight of him filled me with such joy that all I could do was grin and hug him.
We'd found opportunity for a few more kisses in the morning and again in the afternoon, but near the end of the second snorkeling we were standing in chest-deep water taking a break when he pulled me close, kissed my forehead with an unusual-for-him solemnity, and said something unexpected.
"Do you have a formal dress here?"
"The most formal thing I've got is the white one I wore yesterday. Why? Looking to borrow one?"
He chuckled and squeezed me closer, then set me back from him and said, "No, I've got my own. Red sequins. It's something else. No..." He cleared his throat. "I was going to ask you if you'd have dinner with my mom and everyone tonight, but it's the formal dinner so that won't work."
Another throat-clearing, while I stood surprised that he wanted me to meet his mom, then he said, "What about tomorrow? Would you want to?"
I wasn't sure I did, actually, since his mother sounded incredibly intimidating, but he looked so nervous, and so cute with it, that I hadn't been able to say anything but, "If you want me there, I'm there."
He'd grinned, and kissed me again with that wonderful lingering sweetness he did so well, before saying, "Perfect. I'll pick you up at seven. Your white dress is just fine."
And it would have been, but when we met Melissa and Nicholas the next morning for the final snorkeling trip of the cruise Melissa had said, "So I hear you're joining us for dinner tonight. Awesome. There are some great shops on this island and I'm hunting for a new outfit. For after the baby, of course. Want to come along and see if you find anything good for tonight?"
I'd agreed at once, and then we'd settled onto the sand to await our snorkeling time and chat about yesterday's events.
"And you got me both the banana and the coconut rums?" Austin says now to Nicholas. "No problems?"
"Not a one."
Austin grins at me. "You'd love them. We'll have to try them with milk sometime."
"It's in storage until the cruise is over, you know," Nicholas says. "I did try to smuggle it on board like you did a few years back but they spotted it right away."
Austin laughs. "That's never worked for me again. No, I know I can't get at it until we leave the ship in Florida."
The snorkeling excursion leader yells for us then, cutting off our conversation, but as we head down to the water I wonder when exactly Austin is planning to share this rum with me given that he knows he can't do it on board.
I don't have any time to ask, although frankly I can't imagine how I'd word that question anyhow, as we're given our snorkeling instructions and equipment and then set loose on an unsuspecting lagoon.
The four of us cruise around together, checking out the fish and coral and everything else we can find, until the excursion is over. As we're handing back our stuff, Melissa says, "Why don't Corinne and I hit the shops now? We can meet you guys for lunch afterwards."
"Sounds good," I say.
Nicholas nods, but Austin looks uncomfortable.
"Problem?"
He shakes his head at me. "Just not sure how to ask this. Do you have cash or a credit card on you?"
I grimace. "Nope. Didn't even think about it. I've gotten used to getting things charged to my room but of course that doesn't work here. I'll go back to the ship, I guess." And on the way I'll decide whether I can actually afford to buy an outfit or whether I should just pretend I don't like anything I see. That's probably the best idea. New clothes do not fit into my plan, at least not until I need maternity stuff.
Melissa starts to say something but Austin digs in his bag and holds out a gold card to me. "Have fun."
I stare at him, and the other two are silent too.
Austin's neck reddens. "What?"
I can feel myself blushing too but I have to clear this up. "You... you're just lending me money, right? Because I didn't bring mine?"
The red moves up onto his ears. "If that's how you want it. But I figure you wouldn't be buying a new outfit if I hadn't invited you to dinner so it should be on me. And you
probably do need something new as armor to face Mom. And now that I've said that, actually I think I should be paying for whatever you pick. And I want to. So have fun with it."
I can't believe he's willing to buy clothes for someone he'll never see again after the cruise, and I can't think of anything to say.
Nicholas clears his throat and says awkwardly, "I thought you knew women, Austin."
We all turn to him, and he blushes too but says, "You didn't think she'd buy a new outfit for no reason? Is Melissa that unusual a woman?"
The four of us laugh, more from relief from the tension than from amusement, and Austin says, "Well, Mel is unusual in lots of ways, but I see your point. Anyhow, Corinne, we can argue about repayment later. Time's a-wasting. Get out there and buy something!"
"All right, we will." Melissa smiles at me. "Ready?"
"Lead on," I say, and take the card from Austin, but we're only a few steps away when I turn and hurry back, throw my arms around his neck, and whisper, "Thank you. It's so sweet of you."
He gives me a squeeze and whispers back, "Try to leave at least a few things in the shops, okay?"
I giggle, and he winks at me then takes my face in both hands and gives me a short but delicious kiss before letting me go.
Melissa and I head off, and after walking in silence for a few minutes she says, "So, what kinds of things do you like? Skirts, pants, dresses?"
"Yup."
We laugh, and she says, "Linda tends to like dresses. Not that you need to do what she likes, of course." She chuckles. "The first dinner I had with them all on last year's cruise, she and I were wearing the same dress. Talk about awkward."
"Did she mind?"
"Linda doesn't mind much of anything. Including any rules of decorum. No, she said we were like sisters, which was even more awkward since I'd just found out about my history with all three brothers."
"Isn't it weird," I have to ask, "being married to Nicholas when you were going to be with Owen?"
She tips her head from side to side. "It's had its moments, yeah. Telling relatives when we got home... that sort of thing wasn't fun. And Linda's not thrilled, still, especially since Owen wouldn't come on the cruise this year. But... you know how sometimes you talk yourself into buying a skirt because it should be right for you even though it's really just okay? And other times you see one and know it was made just for you? Well, Owen's the first skirt and Nicholas is the second. And I think we all know that now. So it's not as bad as it could be. And of course once he married Celia that took away most of the last 'oh, poor Owen' stuff."
Plan Overboard (Toronto Series #14) Page 7
