A moment earlier, Susan had been hoping for a way to change the subject. But this hadn't exactly been what she'd had in mind. "It's fine, Jesse. It wasn't your fault. It just surprised me, and I reacted badly. It was... nice. Unexpected, but nice."
"Your first time kissing a woman, I take it?"
Susan snorted. "First time kissing anyone at all."
"Seriously?" Jesse's cup was halfway to her lips; she slowly set it back down. "That was your very first kiss?"
"I know; I'm pathetic. You don't have to say it."
"Of course you're not pathetic," Jesse said quickly. "I didn't upset some vow of chastity or something, did I?"
The statement was so unexpected that Susan couldn't help but laugh. "I'm not a nun, Jesse. There's nothing noble about it; it's not by choice. I've just never been close to anyone before."
Jesse bit her lower lip for a moment. "Why?"
"I'm like the lone wolf," Susan said with a wry smile. "I just keep to myself, always a little out of pace with the rest of the tribe."
"So... if you haven't kissed someone, then you haven't..."
Susan could feel the blush threaten to creep over her cheeks, but she forced herself to meet Jesse's eyes levelly. "Yes. I'm a virgin."
"You have no idea how much it breaks my heart to hear that." Jesse stood up and slid the two mugs to the side of the table. She leaned across the table, cupping Susan's cheek and tipping her face up.
Susan's heart fluttered as she realized what was coming. Her eyes fell closed when Jesse's lips touched hers. The kiss was nothing like the first time; this was gentler, softer. Somehow, Jesse managed to walk around the table without breaking the kiss and helped Susan out of her chair. She felt Jesse's arms slide around her back, pulling their bodies together.
This time, it was Susan who deepened the kiss, opening her mouth against Jesse's and snaking her tongue across the other woman's lips. Jesse responded enthusiastically, darting her own tongue out to slip across Susan's. The sensation made Susan's legs tremble, and she held tighter to Jesse.
For several minutes there was nothing else, only the closeness and the kisses. Jesse did not push beyond that, for which Susan was desperately grateful. For all that her body cried out for more, her mind and heart simply weren't prepared. Finally, reluctantly, Susan stepped back. "I... have tasks," she said, catching her breath. "I'm sorry."
Jesse smiled and rubbed her thumb across Susan's bottom lip. "Don't be sorry. Do what you have to do. Maybe we can talk more when you have time."
Susan smiled back. "I'd like that." She straightened her hair and clothes and started for the door. "I'd like that a lot."
The next several days passed in much the same way. Susan spent her days attending to her responsibilities while Jesse talked to other members of the tribe, recorded pieces with Tyler for her documentary, or worked with Jorge in the small editing studio set up in the back of the SUV. But after the evening meal, the two would retire to Susan's cabin to talk. At least, they told themselves that, but talking always led to cuddling, which invariably gave way to kissing.
They took their time, and if Jesse was frustrated with the slow pace of things, she gave no indication. She seemed to take particular delight in the reactions she got from nibbling Susan's neck, and Susan certainly found nothing to complain about. For her part, Susan found that kissing along the edge of Jesse's ear brought the most delicious shivers from her companion.
It was exactly a week after the full moon when she and Jesse found Black Crow and Joseph Blackwater waiting outside her cabin after dinner. Susan realized by their disapproving stares that she and Jesse had been holding hands, though she was certain neither of them had made the conscious decision to do so. "I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" she said softly. Then she leaned in and kissed Jesse on the cheek, Joseph and Black Crow be damned.
She waited until Jesse was out of sight before acknowledging the two elders waiting for her. "I assume you two have something unpleasant to say, or else you wouldn't have felt the need to double-team me."
Joseph motioned for Susan to enter her own home. If there was to be a lecture, she was going to receive it in her living room, and Susan decided she preferred it that way. She ducked inside, followed by Joseph and Black Crow, and stood in the middle of the small home. They might expect her to sit, to give them the height and dominance, but Susan was nothing anyone expected her to be, and she remained standing, arms crossed, waiting.
"I assume you have heard the... fascinating story of our new friends being rescued from a cougar by the timely arrival of a wolf?" Joseph began.
Susan nodded. "Yes. Amazing, wasn't it?" she remarked dryly.
"You disobeyed the elders' express decision to not become involved," Black Crow said. "And worse, you left your torn clothes behind for others to find."
Susan stared at the pair for a moment. "If I hadn't intervened, the three of them would have been wounded—perhaps killed—and then we would have had even more outsiders poking about. I will not apologize for protecting the tribe by protecting the interlopers."
"And what of the nightly visits from the female?" Joseph demanded. "She is inquisitive, and you may inadvertently reveal things to her in an intimate setting."
"Oh, yes. My fragile, feminine brain might not know what to do with itself. I may just get so addled that I tell an outsider the secret I've carried for my entire life and ensure that our way of life comes to an end." Susan narrowed her eyes. "After everything I have done to keep this tribe safe, do you honestly believe I am that stupid?"
Black Crow smiled at her, but Susan knew that smile. It was the smile he used when he was about to say something he knew she wasn't going to like. Immediately, she bristled. "Jesse will not remain when her documentary filming is over. She will leave, and she may leave with the tribe's secrets. The elders do not want that to happen, Susan. It would be best, we think, if you ceased your interactions with Jesse."
The blood in Susan veins seemed to freeze. She felt cold inside and out as her mind processed the order in the gentle, well-meaning words. Give Jesse up? Her eyes moved from one man to the other and back again. "I would have to say that I disagree," she finally said, her voice deep, full of warning.
"The elders have decided," Joseph reminded her.
"The elders have no right to dictate a tribe member's personal life," Susan said. She tried to remain calm, keep her voice level. "I think this is an overstepping of their purpose."
Black Crow's smile faded. "Susan. This is for the betterment of the tribe. The tribe is your responsibility, just as it is mine. It would be in the tribe's best interest if Jesse and her colleagues left here without any proof of our kind and without any lingering attachments."
Susan squared her shoulders and drew herself up to her full height. They could tell her she was antisocial. They could tell her that she had a temper. They could ask her to live on the outskirts of the tribal center. They could even make her hunt alone. But they could not tell her to give Jesse up.
Not without a fight.
She knew every one of those thoughts were there to be read in her eyes, her face. She stared at them, her breathing deep and even, her back ramrod straight. Susan didn't count the seconds. She didn't glance to the window. She didn't listen to her own heartbeat. Susan simply stared.
And waited.
Finally, Black Crow shook his head. "Very well." He gave a nod in her direction, and then led an unhappy, sputtering Joseph out of the cabin.
Susan watched them go, and only when they were out of sight did she let out a long, slow breath. She'd won. She'd stood up for her choice and won. A goofy little smile curved her lips, and she shook her head. She was crazy. She was crazy for Jesse, it seemed, and now the whole tribe would know. Susan realized, as she headed into the bathroom to prepare for bed, she didn't really care. Not if she still had Jesse.
After the confrontation with Joseph and Black Crow, Susan became bolder in her interaction with Jesse. She had no hesitation about holdin
g Jesse's hand when they were together, no embarrassment about watching her from across the clearing, and no shame about being seen kissing her goodbye when they parted. If anyone had a problem with it, a pointed look from Susan was enough to ensure they kept it to themselves.
The night of the new moon, Susan found Jesse standing near the cliff that represented the southern edge of the tribe's land. She was staring up into the cloudless night sky, bundled up against the early November chill. Susan slipped her arms around Jesse's waist and pressed against her back. Jesse stiffened for only a moment, and then relaxed against Susan when she realized who it was.
"Not a bad view, you think?" Susan asked playfully.
Jesse craned her head back and kissed Susan before answering. "It's incredible. I don't think I've ever seen so many stars."
"Some of the elders say that there's a star for every tear a Lakota has shed in mourning. If that's true, I expect I'm responsible for my fair share of them."
"Have you lost so much?"
Susan sighed and held Jesse closer. "Enough."
They watched the stars in a comfortable silence for several minutes. Then Jesse pointed out to a cluster of constellations. "Those are my favorites. Ever since I saw Clash of the Titans—the original, not the bad remake—I've been in love with that myth. Proud Cassiopeia, beautiful Andromeda, the brave Perseus, and the beast Cetus."
"Tell it to me?" Susan moved to lie on the soft grass, pulling Jesse down beside her.
Jesse stretched out and laid her head just below Susan's breasts. "Cassiopeia was a queen, and Andromeda was her daughter. Well, Cassiopeia loved Andromeda, and thought she was just beautiful. In fact, she would tell anyone who'd listen that Andromeda was more beautiful than the Nereids. They were a group of sea-nymphs who were daughters of Poseidon. Or Nereus—the stories vary. One of the gods of the sea, anyway. So, Poseidon hears about Cassiopeia's boasting and gets angry. So he sets Cetus, who's an enormous sea monster, on their city. And it turns out the only way to sate the beast is for them to feed Andromeda to it. Andromeda wants to protect her people, so she agrees, and they chain her to a rock by the seaside for Cetus to come get her.
"Now, Perseus comes along and sees all of this. He's a warrior with his own whole story, but for this part, he's got a helmet that can make him invisible. So he comes up behind Cetus while Cetus is checking out Andromeda, and kills the beast. Then he sets Andromeda free, and the two of them fall in love and live happily ever after."
"Lucky day for Andromeda," Susan remarked.
Jesse lifted her head and looked at Susan. "You'd never heard that before?"
Susan shook her head. "I recognized some of the names, but we have our own myths about the stars. Those are the ones I remember."
"Really?" Jesse's eyes seemed to glitter in the low light. "I guess I should have realized that not everybody has the same constellations, but it never really hit me. Can you tell me one of your stories?"
Susan pointed to a W-shaped group of stars near the middle of the group Jesse had picked out earlier. "In your story, which one is that?"
"That's Cassiopeia," Jesse replied, settling back against Susan.
"Among the Lakota, it is Hexaka Ha, the Elk Skin. According to legend, the North Star took a wife from among the Lakota and fathered a child on her, which was named Fallen Star. There are many stories about Fallen Star, much like your Perseus, I imagine. One story tells of Fallen Star's first hunt. He stalked and killed a great elk, large enough to feed his entire tribe. Fallen Star skinned the elk and stretched the skin across a number of large stakes to dry in the sun. Once it was dry, he wanted to make a gift of it to his father, so he hefted the skin and hurled it into the sky. But he was careless and did not remove the stakes first. The stars you see are where the points of the stakes pierced the sky curtain and left holes for the light to shine through."
Jesse thought about that for a while, and then decided, "I like yours better. Cassiopeia was a boastful woman who turned on her daughter in order to save herself. Fallen Star just wanted to give his father a gift. It's much sweeter." She sat up slightly so that she could give Susan a soft kiss. "Thank you for sharing it with me."
"Thank you for making me feel like I have things worth sharing," Susan replied, kissing Jesse back. The soft, playful kisses quickly became something more ardent, and soon the two were entwined on the ground, each gripping the other's back almost desperately as they pressed together. Susan was aware of their exposed position should anyone wander by, but then Jesse's body shifted against hers, and she just didn't care anymore.
Jesse's hands slid under her shirt, and Susan shivered as the cool air licked at the exposed skin. Just as quickly, though, the warmth of Jesse's hands chased away the cold. Susan's mouth left Jesse's and trailed kisses down her neck. She enjoyed the feel of the soft skin beneath her lips almost as much as Jesse seemed to thrill at the reverse. She'd all but given up on the idea that this kind of closeness would ever happen for her, that she'd ever desire anyone as much as she desired Jesse.
Jesse's hand was caressing her side now, and all feelings of cold evaporated entirely. Her entire body felt flushed and warm. It was the same sort of heat that filled her when willing the Change forward. And right on the heels of that thought came an alarming sensation, as though the wolf inside her was stretching her legs. Jesse's heartbeat pounded against her mouth, and for an instant, the desire to tear into that fount of hot blood welled up in Susan's mind.
Susan pushed back with a gasp, clenching her eyes shut while she fought for control. The wolf was strong, but she was stronger, and within seconds, the bitch was cowed and silent. She opened her eyes again and saw Jesse's concerned stare.
"I'm sorry," Jesse said. "I'm moving too fast again, aren't I?"
Susan studied Jesse's face, and it made her heart hurt. It would be easy for her to nod, and Jesse would back off. But slow and gentle was no longer what she wanted. Her body was craving more. "No, you're not. I'm not moving fast enough. I just... think we should go somewhere private."
Jesse didn't answer except to help Susan up and lead her back to the cabin. Once inside, she started for the couch, but Susan grabbed her hand and walked to the bedroom instead. It was a bold step—after all, no one but her had entered the room in the twenty-five years since the cabin had been built. But she had never been as certain of anything as she was that she wanted this.
The room was dark when they entered, but Susan turned on the small gas lantern—she'd never bothered to run electricity, had never seen the need—and suffused the tiny space with a dim, flickering glow. In that small light, Jesse's pale skin looked like porcelain, and Susan's fingers ached to touch it. She reached out with trembling hands and began to undo the buttons of Jesse's shirt. When she pushed the flannel aside, though, there was a white undershirt beneath.
She must have made some small sound of disappointment, because Jesse laughed softly. "You may be used to this temperature, but I'm not," she pointed out. Still, she slid the flannel off her shoulders and let it pool on the floor, and then grabbed the hem of the undershirt and pulled it over her head in a single smooth motion.
Susan clucked her tongue at the sight of the bra that Jesse wore below the undershirt. "I will never understand how you allowed your men to convince you to wear those torture devices." To underscore the point, she pulled her own shirt over her head and let it join the other clothes on the floor. She, of course, wore nothing underneath, and the cool air across her breasts instantly stiffened her nipples to peaks.
Jesse's breath caught in her throat. "God, you're beautiful." She undid the clasp on her bra and shrugged it off. Susan could see her nipples react in the same way to the temperature, and the sight sent another rush of heat through her body. "Is that better?" Jesse teased.
"Oh, yes," Susan whispered, her mouth suddenly dry. She lifted her hands again and placed them on Jesse's shoulders. Her fingertips traced the collarbones, the hollow of Jesse's throat, and then moved downward. She ran her hand
s over Jesse's breasts, delighting in the weight of them, and in the difference between the softness of the skin and the firmness of the nipples. Her hands slid lower, across Jesse's stomach and the top of her hips, before moving back up, retracing her course. Her touch stayed light, as if Jesse would shatter if she weren't careful.
As if reading her mind, Jesse groaned out, "Susan, I'm not going to break." Her voice was breathy but strained. She put her hands on Susan's hips, and Susan could feel the tension in the arms, how hard Jesse was fighting to hold back and let her lead.
Susan stepped closer, letting her hands slip around Jesse's waist, and kissed her. Her bare breasts rubbed against Jesse's, and the sensation made her knees weak. Jesse caught her, though, and eased them down onto the bed. The small bed wasn't wide enough for the two of them, so Jesse rolled on top of Susan, pressing the entire length of her body against Susan's. Susan pulled Jesse down against her, kissing her hungrily. Her head swam at the feel of Jesse's warm skin rubbing against her own. Jesse's hands moved lightly up Susan's sides and cupped her breasts, brushing her thumbs lightly across the nipples. Susan's back arched into the touch, and she threw her head back with a gasp.
"You have no idea how much I have wanted to be with you like this," Jesse said, dipping her head down to nuzzle Susan's neck. "I still want to go at your pace, though, so you just say stop if you feel uncomfortable, okay?"
The dueling sensations of Jesse's mouth on her neck and Jesse's hands on her breasts reduced Susan's voice to nothing more than small squeaks of pleasure. It took every ounce of control she had to put her hands on Jesse's shoulders and push her back far enough to meet her eyes. Even then, it took several seconds before she could get the words out that she'd been wanting to say all night. "Make love to me, Jesse. Please."
Jesse responded by kissing Susan as fiercely as she ever had before, plunging her tongue deep into Susan's mouth. Susan tried to respond in kind, but was quickly lost in a sea of sensation. Jesse's hands expertly caressed her breasts, teasing out moans and sighs as deftly as if she were playing an instrument. She parted Susan's legs with a knee and pressed her thigh against Susan's shan, and sparks erupted behind Susan's closed eyes.
Daughters of Artemis Page 13
