The Butterfly Box_A SASS Anthology

by Anthology

  Quickly, I remove my clothes and put them in my bags on the gas tank of the four-wheeler. My skin grows incredibly hot as I embrace the pain. There is no easy way for this to happen. No matter how strong of a werewolf you are, it still hurts like a bitch.

  My bones snap, grind against one another, and twist as the change positions and shape to fit my other form, my true form.

  My jaw, nose, and teeth are in complete pain as a snout starts to form on my face, pulling away and changing. Even my ears aren’t spared as the pain overtakes me.

  My last conscious thought before the darkness takes me. “Why did she let us go?”

  AFTER AN ALMOST sixteen hour flight from Nairobi to Raleigh, I drag my feet through the airport to a line of cabs waiting out front. Spence and I always pack light because our cameras take up so much more space and are by far more important than our clothing.

  I’m always groggy after flying due to the pills I take to make sure I stay asleep. I can handle flying over land; it’s going over oceans that get to me. Luckily, we are able to get a cab and get out before traffic starts to pick up.

  My mom lives in a nice community where there is a homeowner’s association, something I never thought Darling would accept. Her house is tucked into a cute little neighborhood with decent size yards. The front of her house stands out from the others. While most have Kentucky bluegrass, my mom’s is a flower garden; completely covered in a wide array of beautiful flowers she spends hours working on. It is bright and vibrant just like her personality.

  Her backyard isn’t a disappointment either. Her neighbors have barbeque sets, patio furniture, and a mini playground for their children, my mom’s backyard is an orchard and vegetable garden. It rivals the front yard in beauty.

  The homeowners association has allowed her to have her over vibrant yard as long as she keeps everything neat and the house painted the same as everyone else’s; a stucco tan with a darker tan roof and shutters. As much as she loathes it, because she doesn’t truly hate anything, she abides by the rules just so she can keep her gardens.

  I pay the cab driver after he pulls up to the curb and Spence hurries to get our bags out so we can quickly rush into the house before the rain soaks us.

  As per usual, the front door is unlocked. “It always feels good to get home.” Spence takes a deep breath of the cinnamon infused scents of the house and I follow suit. Nothing calms a soul like breathing in a familiar scent.

  My mom’s house has always been a home to Spence. My mom didn’t turn him away for who he is like his own mom did. He is one of the family; the closet thing I have to a brother. He has been coming home with me ever since he came out to his family.

  “It is.” I return his smile with one of my own and walk farther into the house, coming to the stairs that leads up to both of our rooms. Since it is raining, my mom is more than likely sitting in her glass sunroom mediating or just enjoying the sound of the rain pelting against the glass.

  We both climb the stairs and go into our rooms to unpack our warm clothes fit for Africa and replace them with warmer clothes for spring time in Wyoming. We don’t bother unpacking our cameras. Those go anywhere and everywhere with us. You never know with the opportunity to take a picture will arise.

  Once we are done, we race back downstairs and find my mom humming in the kitchen as she makes tea.

  “I thought I heard you two come in.” My mom’s voice has always held a lyrical and almost magical quality to it. When she was having heated conversations with Amos she still had the same, calm tone no matter how angry she was with him.

  “Hi, mom.” I quickly round one side of the counter while Spence goes around the other side and we envelop her in a tight embrace. The ever present scent of the earth she works with absorbs into my being. “I wish we could stay longer, but …”

  “Nonsense, you need to get this done. If not for Amos, then for me, little bird.” She places a hand to cup my heart shaped face and smiles up at me before doing the same with Spence. “Your soul is shining brightly.”

  I softly sigh and smile at her remark. She always says that when I make the right decision to do the right thing. And in her eyes that means giving into her demands and settling things with Amos. This makes me the bigger person and proving she raised me to be a good person. I try to hold grudges, but they never stick.

  Except for one.

  Thea.

  “So,” I clap my hands together and return to the other side of the island where Spence already sits with a cup, waiting for tea. I know there is a lot I will need to deal with when we get to Fetterman, so I need her to fill me in now. I need to brace myself. Who knows what Amos has gotten into? “What all needs to be settled?”

  Her eyes now fill with compassion before she turns and digs through her ‘junk’ drawer. “He has a few unpaid bills; the house is in desperate need of repairs, and needs to be put on the market; unless you want to keep it?”

  “It’s a good thing I’m going then.” Spence teases, leaning against me before lifting his steaming tea cup to his lips. “I’m good with a hammer whereas you smash your fingers.”

  “Watch it.” I growl as I focus in on the bills that are now in front of me. The one time I fail at something and he doesn’t forget. We were in Japan after the tsunami, helping rebuild neighborhoods and I kept hitting my own hand and fingers with the hammer until I broke one.

  “How many unpaid bills can one man have?” I rifle through a huge stack; phone bills to plumbers. The next paper I pull out is a recent bank statement. He has plenty in the bank, it doesn’t explain why he hasn’t paid his bills off.

  “Several,” her lips purse indicating she as unhappy with this as I am getting. “The man has completely lost it.” She shakes her head.

  “You have to have it in order to lose it.” I quip, putting the bills in the backpack I brought down with me.

  “Are you leaving again soon?” She pours herself another cup of tea. “Last time I forced him to talk to me he wasn’t doing well. I don’t think he has much time.”

  “And you’re sure he isn’t lying?”

  God, I hope so.

  Her pointed look confirms what I don’t want to know. “Annabelle, I could tell in his voice. He is horrible at lying.” She grabs my hand. “Just please be nice.”

  “I will try, mom.” I sigh, giving up the fight. I’ve never understood why she continued to care for him when he never cared about her or me. She may have divorced him, but she never quit caring.

  I never paid much attention to him the as I got older, especially when I knew how some of his remarks made my mom sad. He would ramble on for hours to himself about how she got away. How she should have been his and not another’s. I didn’t know what any of that meant back then and still don’t to this day.

  OUR RENTAL ROLLS to a stop in front of the deteriorating version of my childhood home. Amos has really let the place go. The once bright yellow pane and beautiful lawn is gone, making the whole place look like the man residing in it; old, mean, and with an ugly soul.

  “This is where you grew up?” Spence lowers his shades, looking up at the place in disgust. I’m just as repulsed.

  I cut the engine and get out. “Sadly, yes.” We grab our bags. “Mom had the place looking beautiful like her home now, but Amos never cared. It would take mom months just to get him to fix something only to give up and call a professional to do the work.”

  I’m hesitant to walk up the steps and back into his life. As much as I don’t care for the man or like to acknowledge the fact I have a father, I still tried to make contact with him for years. He ignored every call or hung up on me. It finally occurred to me that the man didn’t possess a heart to love anyone, if he did it died long before I came into his life.

  “I’m warning you, he’s probably the same asshole he was when I last tried to talk to him.” Spence braces himself, his shoulders tensing. He was there when that happened and was the shoulder I cried on.

  “I can handle him.”
He nods. The floor boards of the porch creak and wail from the stress we put on them as we walk over to the door. It used to be bright red, but now looks more like rust. If I didn’t know it was wood, I would be nervous about getting tetanus from knocking.

  “Keep the noise down! I’m tryin’ to rest in here!” The horrid voice of Amos strains through the door followed by a fit of coughing. I shudder hearing him yell at me. It pushes me back in time.

  He can’t get to you anymore, Anna. You’re an adult.

  “You’ve got this little bird.” Spence places a reassuring hand on my shoulder and squeezes. I knock again, this time with more strength.

  After a beat, shuffling and labored breathing slowly get closer to the other side of the door until the door is ripped open and a man I barely recognize stands before me.

  He is seven years older than my mom and started to gray early in life, but now he is a complete shell of the man he once was.

  “What do you want?” He barks his voice is muffled by a full oxygen mask. He’s using a walker to get around and has absolutely no muscle mass left. I stand taller than him now. There is no way he can physically hurt me.

  “It’s me … dad.” I nearly gag saying that term. He has no right or privilege to be called that. A dad is someone who loves and supports their children, not someone who ignores them.

  “I know,” he shouts and starts coughing again. His eyes stay open to take in Spence. Amos recoils a fraction due to Spence’s massive size. “What I can’t figure out is why you are here and who the hell he is.” He jerks his head over to Spence the best he can.

  Rolling my eyes, I squeeze my way into the house and wait for Amos to move for Spence to come in. The house is far more disgusting on the inside. It smells like stale food, dirty dishes, month’s old garbage, and decaying human.

  “I’m here to settle your debts and get everything arranged before you pass.” I turn back to face him after taking in the entrance of the house. “I’m going to get stuck with all of it anyways. And this is Spence.” I gesture to Spence who is now standing in the doorway. “He is my friend and you will be nice to him.” It’s a statement, not a question.

  Amos huffs and starts to slowly make his way back into the living room, ignoring the garbage. “Why do you care?”

  “That’s a great question.” I fold my arms and follow him. “You never cared about me, but for some reason it’s important to mom for me to be here, so here I am.” I tap my foot against a tower of pizza boxes. The living room is just as bad.

  “Hmpf.” He falls into a faded, thread bare chair which is placed five feet from an old television, the kind that still has a box in the back, and lights up a cigarette all the while coughing up a lung.

  I exchange a look with Spence before looking back to Amos. Spence heads out of the room and I believe out of the house. He can’t handle smoke and Amos still smokes those American Spirit, they are all bad, but those are the worst.

  “Yeah, let’s cough up a lun…” I’m interrupted by my phone. I look and see Dean’s name flash across the screen. Inwardly, I groan before silencing it and slipping it back into my back pocket. That man seems to have a detector for when I’m back stateside.

  “It’s no wonder you’re dying. Smoking with oxygen on, seriously? What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “Go the hell away. I don’t want you here.” He coughs once more.

  “Well, tough shit! You’re going to have to deal with me until we get your finances in order and get this house ready to go on the market. I’ll be gone once that’s done and you can die alone like you want!” I storm out of the house before the smoke starts to get to me as well and I encourage him to fall asleep with one lit. That way it takes him and the house.

  I stomp down the steps with care; I don’t want to fall through. Spence’s laughter halts me. I look up just in time to see a familiar face glowing with happiness as she laughs with Spence.

  “Gram!” I run right into the loving arms of a woman I have loved just as deeply as my mom. She still smells the same as the last time I hugged her. She may be Derek’s grandma and only living relative, but she has always been a grandma to me as well.

  “My Anna has finally returned!” She wraps me in a tight hug, swaying us to and fro. “Oh, how I’ve missed you!”

  “I’ve missed you, too.” Gram’s house was my safe place. She never made me feel unwanted or told me I had to go home. The house she shared with Derek was a home to me as well.

  She pulls away from me, holding me by my upper arms. “Look at you!” She looks me over, eyes gleaming with tears. “As lovely as ever,” she comes back up to my face. “And you cut your hair!” Her blue eyes sparkle, the same ones Derek inherited.

  She’s right; I did cut all my hair off. The long hair was a pain when I started traveling; I cut it to a pixie style to control it.

  “I’ve been keeping an eye on your career.” She gives me a knowing look. “I have all your clippings from all the magazines you have been featured in. You have quite the eye.” She turns her smile to Spence. “You as well, young man, I’ve been watching you too.”

  How does she know about Spence?

  “Darling and I have kept in touch through letters.” Gram answers my unspoken question, reminding me of her friendship with my mom and her talent of reading minds.

  “Thank you, Gram.” It’s nice to hear someone from my past still cares for me. “What are you doing here?”

  “Oh, goodness!” She hops back and grabs the bag in Spence’s hands. “Meals-on-wheels.” She lifts the bag. “From the church, I signed your father up.” I bristle. “I did it against his will. For a while, he wouldn’t take them, but eventually started.”

  “Oh,” I nod, shuffling uncomfortably. “I’ll take it for you. We are staying for a while to get Amos’ things in order.” I force a smile.

  “Thank you, I still have three meals to deliver.” She kisses my cheek and surprisingly does the same with Spence. “It was wonderful meeting you.” Spence jumps as she pinches his ass.

  “It was wonderful to finally meet the woman who is behind all the stories I’ve been told.” Spence’s eyes glitter and yet another woman has fallen for his charms.

  “If you need a break from all that …” She gestures to the house. “Stop by the Rancher Tavern out in Rocky. It’s across the street from the diner. It has the best beer in the county.” She winks and is off.

  I wave to her as she drives away. “So, Derek’s grandma?”

  “Yeah,” I say wistfully.

  “Sweet woman,” he wraps an arm around me and we walk back to the house. I give Amos his meal and show Spence up to my old room. I’m truly surprised nothing has been touched. It is just how I left it, just covered in dust.

  “Make yourself at home. We have a shit ton of work to get started on.” I crack my knuckles and roll my neck. I hope Amos will stay out of the way.

  HOW DID KELLY talk me into this date? The woman knows no boundaries.

  She’s nice. She said.

  She’s your type. She said.

  Go and have some fun, it’s not right being alone. She demanded.

  I don’t want to be here, but here I am. I’m sitting at a table at a restaurant I don’t even like, trying to stomach the gluten-free, fat-free bagel along with the woman who has absolutely nothing in common with me and does nothing for me.

  I’m broke.

  Regina is a nice looking woman. She’s got a great figure, nice set of tits, and a beautiful smile, but she has a fake as hell tan that makes her look like a oompa loompa, an annoying laugh, and I’m a privileged girl is written all over her.

  I want to die.

  “So, like how often do you workout?” She flicks her long, dyed blonde hair over her shoulder. That’s another issue, I can’t take the fake blonde, not when I know how beautiful natural is.

  “Daily.” I grunt, finding my bagel more entertaining and a better date than her. I really don’t get why Kelly thought this was a great idea,
or how she can possibly be friends with a woman like the one seated across from me.

  “I can tell.” She lightly bites down on her lower lip and nothing happens. I’m a statue, passively gazing at her.

  “Yep.” I wipe my mouth and drop my napkin, done with my food while she has only taken a rabbit nibble off of hers.

  “You’re not much of a talker, are you?”

  “Nope.” With my tongue I try to pull some food out of my teeth. “So listen, I don’t see this going anywhere. You’re a nice enough girl, but you’re not my type.” I stand and make my way over to drop my tray. I bought her a lunch she probably won’t touch. I’ve been enough of a gentleman. “It was nice meeting you, Regina.” I tip the bill of my hat to her and start to leave.

  “That’s it!” She shrieks, charging after me. “You listen here, no one turns me down. No one!”

  And now we can add crazy to her cons list.

  “I’m sure many don’t, but I’m not feeling anything.” I pull my hat down low and open the door. “Have a nice day, Regina.” I nod to her and head out to my truck, ignoring the screaming coming from behind me.

  “DON’T FUCKING SET me up like that again!” I charge into the bar and straight to the counter where Kelly is dancing and laughing while getting everything ready for our night shift to start.

  She drops her towel and leans against the counter. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad, was it? She should have been easy.”

  I stop in the little entrance to get behind the bar and tilt my head at her. “Easy?” That’s what she was going for? She just wanted to help me get laid, not find me someone to date? I don’t know if I should pissed she tried to pimp me out or relieved that Regina isn’t the type of girl she can see me having an actual relationship with.

  “Yes, Regina is loose; you should have been able to walk right into that.” She goes back to work. “You didn’t, did you?”

  “Fuck. No.” I drop my hat and keys under the counter and help her set up; clean glasses, plenty of napkins, and new bottles of the ones that are almost empty.