by Anthology
I feel so horrible for all the years lost. I know it still doesn’t explain Thea’s part in the whole thing, but this makes sense. Amos never liked Derek and I never understood why.
“I hate you! You never cared about me.” I want to hit him, oh do I want to, but I won’t drop to his level. “You’re getting everything you deserve, you vile, evil man!”
I grab my phone from the counter and make my way out of the dining room and continue to the front door, Spence hot on my heels. When I fling the front door open, I’m surprised to see Derek walking up.
I’m too upset to feel the Derek tingle as I used to call it. I stop on the top step of the porch and stare at Derek in the brown, dead yard.
“Are you okay, little bird?” Spence is behind me, I feel his strong support as I continue to stare at Derek. I can hear a low, soft growl coming from Derek. I know it is aimed at Spence.
What is he doing here?
“I’m fine, stay here and away from Amos.” I jump down the steps and make my way over to Derek. He looks amazing in his dark jeans, tight black shirt, and his ever present boots. He used to wear a beanie to keep his shaggy hair tamed, but now his hair is short and spiked with his hat in his hand. His soft boyish looks have developed into chiseled hard lines making him look sexy and deadly. But his eyes hold a sadness that can only match my own. When I reach him, he unfolds his arms.
“What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.” He turns back to his truck. “Get in.” He moves around the front and to the driver’s side. The old Derek would have held the door for me. I need to remember that man, that boy, I once knew is gone. I hop in just as the truck fires up and I’m barely buckled when he puts the lead down on the gas.
I’m surrounded by Derek’s woodsy scent, one that relaxes me but also riles me. He has nothing on, no A/C or radio. The windows are rolled up, leaving me surrounded by his presences and the silence.
“So, how is Gram?” I need to break this silence. I have no clue where he is taking us, or why I even got into the car. When he pulls onto the highway, pointed toward Rocky, I start to get a strange feeling.
He isn’t taking me there, is he?
“Great.” His answer is clipped.
“That’s nice.” I look out the window. The horizon is just as beautiful as ever. The minutes roll by as well as the miles before I open my mouth again. The feeling of knowing where we are going is growing stronger. “And you? How have you been?”
He looks at me from the corner of his eye. “I’m gettin’ by.” He grinds out.
“Oh.” No mention of Thea? Was he just using her? That seems to be likely to me. Why else would he bother with her? But at the same time it still doesn’t add up. Thea never liked me, she was always teasing me and picking on me whenever Derek wasn’t around.
“And … you?” His voice breaks the stale, uncomfortable silence around us. It is far more gruff than I remember.
“I’ve been busy, after I graduated high school I got a degree in photography. I tried to stay in the states, but it got boring, so I left and started traveling the world photographing animals.”
And I missed you no matter where I went.
I keep that to myself. I look over at him and watch as he flips the dusty visor down and gasp when I see an all too familiar picture tacked to it. It is a picture of us together at a barbecue. I have the same one in my camera bag. It’s worn just like his from me pulling it out to look at it.
My phone goes off again; I glance down and see it is Dean again. I’m so sick of him calling.
“Are you going to get that?”
“Hmm?” I focus back on Derek. “No, it isn’t important.” I shove it back into my pocket just as Derek turns off the highway and takes us down a well-worn dirt road.
I knew it.
We get to the end of the road and into an open field. There is still nothing out here. We are at our old spot; it overlooks Rocky and the plains. Derek cuts the engine and leans against the steering wheel.
“Why didn’t you come to me like you promised?” I rub my arms as I ask quietly. I don’t like feeling this weak, but he makes me this way right now. I blink up at him as his own eyes lock with mine. I’m shocked by the haunted look that is in place.
“Let’s talk.” He gets out and goes to stand in front of the truck. I sit and think about it. I need to gather myself first. We used to come up here all the time to get away. This is also the place I gave myself to him for the first time.
It was a fumble, a clueless rumble in the backseat of his old car. We were each other’s first and for myself, he is my only. I wonder if that still holds true with him. I didn’t care that our moment together was just that, a moment, it was over before it really got started, but I still cherish it. It is a treasure to me.
I put my hand on the handle to get out, leaving my phone behind as it rings again, I hop out. We said always and forever once, I hope that maybe it was true.
WHY DID I bring her here?
This is the last place I would ever want to be alone with her. I can’t control myself anymore. The anger, the fear, the complete and utter lost feeling I have consuming me guided me to come to this place. The very land we had sex for the first time, had some many firsts at, and where we would talk for hours.
It is also the land I couldn’t stop myself from buying. I bought it two years ago and haven’t stepped foot out here since. I wanted to build something, hoping it would call for her to come home, but I chickened out.
I tried to remain calm and collected on the way here, but her scent was driving me mad. It swirled around my head like a storm cloud, forcing its way up my nostrils, and pierced into my chest once it reached my chest.
I had to escape it, that’s why I jumped out of the truck and now lean against the grill guard. I need to be able to breathe again without her scent. Yet, it kills me to be away from it. My head drops back and I stare up at the white puffs that make up clouds floating over us.
Why didn’t I come after her?
Groaning, I shrug my shoulders until they reach the lobes of my ears. I pull my hat off my head and run a hand through my short cut hair. I don’t miss the days of having longer hair. I get overheated if it gets past my ears anymore.
I’m so fucking confused. If Spence wasn’t the guy Amos had told me about, then who was, or was there even another guy? How do I tell her it was Amos who corrupted me into not going after her? I know she can’t stand him, but would she even believe me?
I straighten back up when I hear her phone go off again. I can feel the tension and unease roll off of her as she gets out of my truck and comes to a stop next to me. Taking the same position I am, Anna crosses her arms and looks out toward the open field.
It has changed a little since the last time we were here. The grass grows higher now that there aren’t any cattle grazing on it. I could have continued to let the rancher put his cattle out here, but I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea if I finally decided to build.
I barely turn to gaze down at her; enough for me to take her in, but not enough to draw her attention to me. She’s changed a great deal. Anna used to be scrawny with eyes too big for her face and long as hell blonde hair she always struggled to contain.
She now has gained muscle mass, filling out her frame perfectly and giving her subtle curves that make me crazy to grab onto her and never let go. Her chest has grown as well, she isn’t large, but probably a good C cup. They are perfect to fit into my hands. Her blonde hair is far shorter than I would have thought I would like, but I love it.
She was never girly enough to wear makeup or do her hair and in my opinion, the only one that matters, she has never needed any of it. Her hazel eyes fit perfectly now, adding to her absolute beauty, captivating me.
Ours
My mind and body in its entirety quakes with the distant familiar voice of my wolf. It has been far too long since I have heard his unique voice. It is in that moment that a peacefulness settles into my soul. I ca
n’t decide if it is because I finally ran after her, granted the next day, but I still went after Anna for answers, or if it has to do with my wolf finally rejoining me.
Smiling, I answer him through my own thoughts.
I know boy. This is our second chance, another go round to see if we can make it with our mate.
I will walk through the fires of hell before I let her go again. I went far too many years without her in my arms, too long without trying, and feeling like she gave up as well. My only problem is going to be is what side she will be on when I put the blame on Amos, because it was his fault I didn’t leave to go to her.
“I see you still overthink things.” Anna’s beautiful face turns to look up at me; a teasing smile is in place until a scowl replaces it. “Just say it already; you were always horrible at internalizing everything.” She falls against the grill guard and returns to looking out across the land.
Tell her, claim her.
Easy for you to say man.
All right, here it goes.
“Do you remember my job at the lumber yard?” She solemnly nods and I continue. “After you left, I worked as hard and for as many hours as they would allow me to so I could save up enough money to come to you.”
I scrub my face; my calloused hands scratch my face. “I had just earned enough and was getting ready to go buy a plane ticket when your dad came into the yard and said you had moved on and I should do the same.”
But I never did. I couldn’t. Nothing in me wanted to or could even dream of doing so.
“I believe you.” Her voice is a breath above a whisper, but my ears can pick it up. “That’s what he must have meant.” She growls and if the situation was different, I would be turned on by it.
“What do you mean?” I turn, leaning against the grill guard with my upper body.
“B … before I came outside, Amos a said some stuff about mates and getting rid of you.” She looks back to me. “How does he know you are a werewolf?”
“Fucking asshole,” I mutter and look at my truck. “I don’t know, Anna. I feel like shit now since I believed him. I mean, you hadn’t called or even sent me a letter.” I slam a fist down on my hood, not enough to leave any damage. “I went out and bought this, using the money I had saved up for a down payment.”
She looks gun shy, like there is something bothering her and just when she is about to ask, her phone decides to go off again.
“Shouldn’t you get that?” It could be Darling or maybe Spence with the good news that Amos kicked the bucket.
“It isn’t important.” She brushes it off, but there is something eating away at me about it. Who could she possibly be avoiding? Or is it me, is she trying to hide something?
“Why didn’t you try calling me?” I decide to ask one of my questions since she decided against hers.
Her hazel eyes lock with mine. They are holding back aqua blue tears that haven’t burst yet. “I did,” her tears slowly start to cascade down her rounded cheeks. “It took us forever to get a phone; you know how my mom is. When we finally did, you were the first call I made.”
My scowl morphs into a frown. “I don’t remember getting any calls from an out of state number.”
“Thea answered your phone.”
What?
“She said you had moved on and you were over me.” My anger resurfaces and starts to grow stronger.
Goddamn, mother fucking hell!
We both believed the stories of two people who never wanted us together. I’m not sure of Amos’ reasoning, but I plan to find out. As for Thea, she was trying to ‘cheer me up’ after Anna left. I ignored every advance she attempted.
She needs to know this, I should have told her more about werewolves and their mates when we were younger, but at the time I thought we would have forever for me to tell her everything. This is all my fault.
Before I know what I’m doing, I grab her smooth shoulders and feel the old current of complete and utter pleasure zap through my body, reaffirming that she is mine.
“Annabelle look at me.” Her glossy eyes slowly draw back up to mine, my own tears staying at bay. “There has never been nor will there ever be anyone but you. You are my mate, Anna. When I said you’re it for me, I meant it. I knew before I even saw you. Once a werewolf finds his mate there is no other for him.”
My eyes search hers, imploring her to believe me, to know I am speaking the truth.
She falls into my chest, clinging to my shirt, and I encase her in my arms. And just like that, everything feels right again.
Perfect.
“All … this … time.” She sobs and I can only rub her back. There is no way to take back the time we have wasted. I only hope she wants to move forward with me by her side.
“We’re back though … I mean you want to give this, us, another try, right?”
Please say yes.
I wait for her reply, holding my breath and praying, but she grows quiet and still. “You’re not seeing anyone, are you?” My throat dries as I ask the one question I’m not sure I want to listen to the answer to.
“God, no!” She pushes back, but stays in my arms. “There hasn’t been anyone since …” She looks down, but I’m not going to allow that. With my pointer finger, I lift her head back up by her chin.
“Since me?” I’m overjoyed by this. I know I shouldn’t be, I should be bracing myself for her to say no, there has been others, but in my heart I know that isn’t possible. She may have been gone, but she was marked by me.
“Yes.”
As much as I try to control a real smile, it still slips into place and I pull her back to me. God, it feels good to have a genuine smile on my face again.
“I’ve been miserable for a long time, Anna. If I couldn’t have you, I didn’t want anyone. There has been no one since you.” She tenses and a gasp follows before she slowly relaxes and winds her arms around me.
“I was too, you know?” She breaks our silence, but stays buried in my chest. “I met Spence and he helped me. And then when we started traveling, I got a little better but you were never far from my thoughts. You always managed to sneak in.”
I bury my nose into her soft hair, taking in her scent of cinnamon and honey, one I always thought I would never have in my senses again.
“I’m not letting go this time.” It’s a statement, one I plan on keeping, but for some reason it feels more like a plea. I now know what she does for a living and I’m sure she loves it, but does she love it enough to leave me again?
I part us, only a little to guide her lips up to mine. They seal together like they have always meant to. Her soft, plump lips against mine fill me with memories, forcing a low groan to spill out as I move my tongue across the center of her lips.
Her hands that were bracing against my chest, now claw and dig into my shirt, anchoring her to me, but too soon she draws away from me, completely stepping away and walking backwards until she moves to the passenger side of the truck.
She smiles weakly before opening the door and getting back into the truck.
What … the … fuck?
I TOUCH MY swollen lips in rapture. Derek’s kiss isn’t anything like I remember, yet it is still the same. When he kissed me, it always ignited every nerve ending in my body and made me scorching hot with every feather light touch, but as teenagers our kisses were innocent and filled with sweetness.
The one we just shared was anything but. The drive to be his once more, in that most intimate of ways is overwhelming, all consuming, and sexually charged to a high I’ve never experienced.
And I stopped it.
Derek and I aren’t the same people we were when we were younger. I’ve changed, grown in a stronger woman than I ever was as a teenager. And as for Derek, he’s changed a great deal as well. His touch is hungered, where it was gentle. He felt rushed, starved to consume me and never let me leave him again.
He is also darker than he used to be, brooding, and filled with an anger he never carried before, not
even after he lost his parents. I know why now, Amos and Thea stole ten years we could have shared together. Yet, I can’t help but wonder if that time apart was necessary for us to grown individually. I loved him then and I know we would have ended up married right out of high school with a child or two by now. I wouldn’t have gotten to see the world like I always wanted and I would have never found Spence.
Part of me is angry for time being stolen from us, but the other part of me is glad I went out and discovered the world and myself. And I am going to continue to do what I love. Derek would probably want me to put my roots down here now that we are slowly reconnecting, but I love my job. He has to understand that.
I want to know why he brought me out there. We had many memories there and we at times got caught by the land owner. Here is sit now, looking out the window as he drives us back into Fetterman. We had our first kiss out there on that patch of land. This new first kiss was different. No longer was it sloppy, messy, and neither of us having a clue on what we were doing or where to put our hands.
“What are you thinking about?”
My head tilts to the left to Derek, concern and a bit of anger is etched onto his face.
“Our first kiss.”
His face relaxes. “Not my greatest of moments.” He laughs to himself. “Our first time was much more fun to remember.” His eyes flash an amber color, something that freaked me out once upon a time, but now I know what the color change means. It means his animalistic side is coming to the surface and he is thinking feral thoughts.
“Was not!” I shove at him. “Being cramped in the back seat of your old car while Austin played look out was horrible. Then if you recall, I accidently poured a bottle of body spray down the front of myself and my mom still knew what we did.”
Talk about embarrassing.
“At least Darling was cool about it and Amos never found out.” He winks. It looks menacing on him.
That is true.
“Why are you staying there?” His voice sobers.
I shrug. “Daughterly obligations?” I cringe. “I don’t really know why. The man never tried to talk or see me after mom and I left. It was like I never had a dad. Did you know he never came to either of my graduations?”
