The Butterfly Box_A SASS Anthology

by Anthology

  “Yes, of course. The more the merrier.” I force myself to grin as first Margie then Luke steps into the house.

  “Margie,” Katie squeals as she runs down the steps.

  “How’s my baby girl?” Margie replies as the two of them walk to the couch and snuggle up next to each other. I glance over at Luke only to see a shocked expression on his face.

  “The two of them are pretty close,” I state.

  “I can see that.” Luke mumbles as he finally looks in my direction. “You look amazing.”

  My step falters. I don’t know what I was expecting Luke to say, but that wasn’t it.

  “Thanks.” I look down the hall at Val who’s wearing a smirk. “I need to finish up dinner.” I stumble to reply as I take off towards Val.

  “What the hell?” she whispers.

  I’m about to answer when Luke steps up next to me. “Can I help you ladies with anything?”

  “You’re down an arm big guy. Why don’t you take a seat and let us finish this up?” Val answers for me.

  Luke nods and takes a seat. I can feel his eyes following me as I attempt to finish cooking.

  “I can’t imagine you didn’t have somewhere else to be at tonight.” Val smirks at Luke.

  “Nope. When mom told me she was coming over here I couldn’t begin to think of anything I wanted to do more.”

  I pause before opening the oven door. “Well I have to say, having you hang out with us is unexpected,” Val chuckles as I take a quick peek at Luke only to find him watching me.

  My heart speeds up and old feelings I’ve tried to keep from thinking about start to make their way into my mind. I’m not sure how Luke was able to ditch me as easily as he did, but that doesn’t change the fact that I loved him or the fact that he’s the only man I’ve ever loved.

  “Luke. Nice to see you.” I snap out of my thoughts when I hear my dad’s voice.

  “It is?” I chime in.

  “Of course.” Dad smiles before shaking Luke’s hand.

  I feel like I’m trapped in an episode of the Twilight Zone. My dad hates Luke and Luke doesn’t want me, but right now everything feels different and I’m not sure what to make of it.

  Dad smile again, “I hope you plan to stick around after your shoulder heals. I know your mother has missed you terribly.”

  A haunted expression crosses Luke’s face. “Jasper is a little more low-key than I’m used to but I think it could do me a world of good if I made this town my home again.”

  My legs suddenly feel weak as I grab ahold of the counter. Can I handle seeing him every day? Seeing him with another woman? No . . . no I don’t think I can, but what choice will I have if he decides to stay?

  “Sam? Hello?” Val waves her hand in front of my face.

  “What?” I snap coming out of my thoughts only to find everyone watching me.

  “I asked how much longer until the meatloaf was done.”

  “Oh . . . any moment. We can set the table and eat in a few minutes.”

  Val smirks at my answer. She knows having Luke here has rattled me and like the smartass she is, she’s enjoying watching me squirm.

  “DINNER WAS AMAZING. Where did you learn to cook like that?” Luke questions as he brings in plates from the table.

  “Here, let me do that. You need to take it easy on that arm.”

  Luke huffs, “I’m good. Really my arm is the least of my worries right now.”

  I nervously swallow, “What are you worrying about?” I shouldn’t have asked. I shouldn’t care enough to ask but somehow I do.

  Luke gives me a dejected look, “Mom. I think more is going on with her than she’s letting on.”

  “That makes two of us,” I softly reply.

  I want to tell him what Dr. Russell said, but I’m worried that he might repeat what I told him to Margie.

  “Her stroke a year ago . . . it was worse than she let on? At least I think it was.”

  A year ago? Margie’s first stroke was over two years ago. Clearly she’s kept Luke in the dark.

  “I think she was worried about you. Worried something would happen to you. She didn’t want to add to your problems especially when there wasn’t anything you could do for her.”

  “She’s not a problem, she’s my mother.” A brooding look takes over his expression.

  “I know that, but that’s not how she viewed it. If she had told you she was sick, you would’ve packed up and come home and that was the last thing she wanted.”

  Luke turns away from me and looks out the window. “I convinced myself that my mom didn’t need me but in reality she needed me more than I could even imagine.”

  “Margie wasn’t alone. She had us and I don’t think we’d be the same without her.”

  Luke takes a deep breath and I can see the tension drain from his body. “Your girl seems to love her.”

  I smile, “I remember the first time Margie held Katie. You would’ve thought it was her own grandchild.”

  A painful look crosses his face, “She should’ve been mine.”

  My mouth drops open but I’m at a loss for words so instead I just stand here staring at him.

  “I lied before . . .” Luke trails off.

  Nerves flutter in my stomach as I ask him something I probably shouldn’t. “What did you lie about?”

  “I loved you.”

  Hearing his words causes my breathing to pick up.

  “I fell in love with you the first week I met you and I’ve never stopped.”

  “But . . . you’ve . . . I . . .” My breath is caught in my throat as I shake my head. “You told me . . .” A tear forms in the corner of my eye as the night Luke ruined us flashes through my head.

  I hear a loud knock on the door downstairs, but I still need to put my make-up on.

  Knowing Luke doesn’t care what I look like, I breeze through my normal process. I toss off my tank top and grab out a cute summer dress.

  Knowing there’s a chance Luke might come up to my room, I put the acceptance letter from KU in my desk. Luke is worried he won’t get into a college let alone a division one college like KU but I still applied. I’m hoping to drag him with me, or if all else fails, I’ll go with him. I’ve dreamt of KU since I was a kid but now that I have Luke in my life, my dreams have changed.

  I run down the steps to see my dad and Luke in some strange standoff.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  Luke turns his harsh stare towards the floor as my dad forces a fake smile.

  “Nothing sweetheart. We were just chatting.” Dad looks back and forth between us. “You two have fun and don’t stay out late.”

  Once dad is out of ear shot I walk up to Luke and pull on his arm. “What’s the matter?” Instantly Luke pulls out of my reach and takes a step closer to the door.

  “This isn’t going to work anymore.”

  My eyes narrow, “What’s not going to work?” Luke continues to stare at me, giving nothing away.

  “Luke?”

  “Us. You and me. We’re over.”

  I gasp, “What are you talking about?”

  Luke’s nostrils flare as he takes several deep breaths.

  “Come on Sam did you really think we’d ride off into the sunset and get married. That’s not how life works. We’re kids, we’ve had a good time but I don’t love you.”

  My eyes start to water, “That’s not true and you know it.”

  Luke’s eyes drift shut but when they open it’s almost like a different person is standing in front of me.

  “I’m doing what I should’ve done a long time ago. I’ve always known this was nothing more than a way to pass time.”

  Hurt unlike anything I’ve felt before coursed it way through my veins.

  “Get out.” I softly say trying my best not to cry.

  “Gladly,” he replies before turning and slamming the door shut behind him.

  That was the last time I saw Luke, until this past week. He skipped graduation and enrolle
d in the Army. He didn’t even attend his own brother’s funeral. I spent the next two years convincing myself that, for whatever reason, he lied to me, but as the years passed I knew that wasn’t true. There’s no way he could have left me behind if he did.

  “Don’t say that.” My tone changed from friendly to harsh.

  “It’s the truth.” Luke responds.

  I shake my head and walk back to the sink.

  “I couldn’t offer you the life you deserved. Hell I was a punk kid that struggled with high school. College wasn’t my thing but I couldn’t tell you that.”

  My heart is pounding in my chest.

  “What’s going on?” Val questions as she steps up behind me.

  “Nothing. I’m tired. I think I’ll call it a night.” I rush past Val and take off upstairs without telling anyone goodnight.

  “WHAT DID YOU say to her?” Val questions the second Sam is out of the kitchen.

  “The truth. Something I should’ve said a long time ago.”

  Val rolls her eyes, “I need to go check on her.”

  Knowing I’ve officially pissed off enough women tonight, I walk outside and take a seat on the porch. Minutes pass before I hear the screen door open.

  “Being a parent is harder than anyone warns you.” I glance over at Edward as he takes a seat next to me. “Take your biggest fear and multiply that by a million and maybe you’ll be close to understanding what it’s like to be a parent. You want the best for them. You want them to make good choices but that doesn’t always happen.”

  I have no idea what to say, therefore I remain quiet.

  “Sam was singing Rock Chalk Jay Hawk since she was just a little girl. Going to KU was always her dream, then suddenly she gets accepted and she doesn’t want to go.”

  My eyes dart to Edward, “Sam never told me she got accepted.”

  “I know,” he replies soothingly. “Sam was young and in love and you were every father’s worst nightmare.”

  As a teenager, I drove around my dad’s old motorcycle. I skipped school and often, I was even known for smoking a few joints now and then.

  “I figured you two had a case of puppy love and I wasn’t about to let that ruin my daughter’s future. Hell, I worked seventy-hour work weeks for years to save up to pay for her college tuition. I wasn’t about to allow her to throw it away for anyone.”

  “Least of all me,” I add causing him to sigh.

  The night I broke up with Sam still haunts me. I came here to pick her up for some party she wanted to go to. Only instead of Sam answering her door, Edward did.

  “Hello sir. I’m here for Sam.” I force a smile as I look at Sam’s dad who appears to be brooding.

  “And just what do you plan to do with my daughter?”

  I’m taken aback from his tone. Edward Harris rarely talks to me but the few times he has he wasn’t rude like he’s acting now.

  “We’re going to a party,” I nervously answer.

  “Mr. Williams said he caught you smoking pot behind his store the other day. Is that true?”

  Oh shit . . . yes it’s true but I hold my tongue, not admitting to anything.

  “Sam is smart. Too smart to be hanging out with some loser who ditches school in order to waste his brain cells on drugs.”

  I want to be angry but he’s right. From the second I met Sam, I knew she was better than me, but that didn’t keep me from acting like a selfish prick and claiming her as mine.

  “You’re going to do nothing but drag my girl down. If you care about her at all, break things off with her.” I hear Sam’s door open and close before she runs down the stairs.

  “What’s going on?” Sam looks back and forth between the two of us.

  “Nothing sweetheart. We were just chatting.” Edward glares at me one last time before walking off. When I glance at Sam, my heart breaks. Her father’s right. I can’t drag her down with me. I have to do the one thing I vowed never to do to Sam . . . lie.

  “You did the right thing,” I add.

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. Sam went to KU, she earned her degree but I never took into account the love she felt for you. She was a kid. I figured she’d bounce back, maybe find someone while she was at college, but after you left she turned jaded.”

  The acid in my stomach starts turning thinking about my next question, but I need to ask. “What about Katie’s father?”

  Edward huffs, “He was nothing more than a sperm donor.”

  I’m pissed off for Katie. Like Sam, from the second I saw her I knew she was a beautiful human being. The idea that her own father doesn’t want to be a part of her life almost feels painful, but at the same time I can’t stand the idea of Sam in love with someone else.

  “I’m sorry for not only being wrong about you but for what happened later that night.” Edward nervously clears his throat.

  “You weren’t wrong about me. I was bad news.”

  “No, you weren’t,” he quickly adds. “Your father died when you were young. You just needed more guidance than your mama was giving you. From the day you left for the Army you’ve done nothing but soar with the military. I should’ve seen that’s what you were lacking.”

  I’m not sure what to say. On some level, he’s right. I was lacking a role model to stand up and put me in my place, but that doesn’t mean he’s right about me being with his daughter. If Katie were mine and some punk showed up on a motorcycle looking to take her anywhere I’d flip my shit.

  We both turn when the porch door opens.

  “Margie’s ready to go home,” Katie says with a soft smile.

  “Absolutely. Thanks for letting me know, Katie.”

  Her smile turns into a beam. I ruffle her hair as I walk past her and into the house. “Ready mom?”

  Mom nods her head and pushes to her feet. “Yes, I’m exhausted.”

  She limps over and laces her arm through my good one. I walk her out to my truck. Once she’s in I walk around to my side. As I’m about to climb in I look up at Sam’s bedroom window only to find her watching me.

  I love this woman with every fiber of my soul. How I made her believe otherwise is beyond me but now’s the time I clear up the mess I’ve made of our lives.

  “I DID SOMETHING I don’t think you’re going to like.” I place the milk back in the fridge and glance at my dad. “Oh . . . kay?” I can tell by the caution he has in his voice I’m not going to like whatever he plans to say.

  “I said something to Luke.”

  My eyebrow arches, “What did you say?”

  Dad nervously clears his throat. “I told him he wasn’t good enough for you. That he should get lost and leave you alone.”

  I smile, “That’s probably for the best. I don’t need Katie getting attached to him.”

  Dad’s eyes painfully close. “No, I don’t mean now. I told Luke that the night he broke up with you.”

  My mouth drops open. “You what?” I whisper.

  “You were ready to abandon your own dreams for a kid who was smoking pot behind the diner. I couldn’t let that happen.”

  My mind is twirling with emotions but anger seems to be the one I feel the most. I’m outraged that my dad interfered with my life, but my temper is equally aimed at Luke who easily gave me up.

  “I was going to try to convince Luke to come with me.”

  Dad blurts, “But you were willing to drop KU if he didn’t.”

  My heart is pounding against my chest but he’s right. I loved Luke enough to forget my own dreams to follow his and at the time, he didn’t have any. However, none of that changes how I feel right now.

  “What’s going on?” Katie asks from the doorway.

  “Nothing.” I answer as we both force a smile.

  “Let’s go out for breakfast?” I suggest.

  Katie hesitates before nodding her head. “Okay. Grandad do you want to go?”

  Dad looks over at me and sighs. “I need to get down to the Mill. You ladies enjoy yourselves.” Dad grabs his
keys and walks out the door.

  “What’s going on?” I look over at the miniature version of myself. Katie is smart and very in tune to the people around her. Dad and I don’t disagree often but when we do she notices.

  “Nothing to worry about. I promise.” Katie watches me, probably trying to decide if I’m lying. “Let’s go. I’m sure Pam has a huge order of biscuits and gravy waiting with your name on it.”

  Katie nods and the two of us walk out to my truck.

  “I can’t believe it’s this hot already.” Summers in Kansas are nothing more than a steam bath. Even now at a little after seven in the morning, the humidity is enough to take your breath away. “I can’t believe you start school in three weeks.” I reply.

  Minus a few summer camps I enrolled her in, Katie is juggled between Dad, Val, Margie and myself over the summer and the four of us love it.

  “Yeah, I don’t want to go.”

  My eyes narrow, “Why?”

  “I’d rather stay with Margie.” I can hear the sadness in her tone. I think the only person Margie is fooling about her declining health is herself. All of us, including Katie who’s only nine and Luke who’s just returned home, can tell something’s wrong.

  I pull up to the diner and look over at my daughter. “I think Margie is feeling worse than she’s letting on, but I don’t think she realizes the seriousness of her condition.”

  “Is she going to die?” her voice cracks with emotion.

  “We’ll all die someday Katie bug.” She tilts her head and glares at me. “But I think Margie’s time is closer than any of us would like.”

  Katie’s eyes water as I reach out for her hand. “Let’s focus on the good for the moment.” With a quick swipe at her face Katie nods and hops out of the truck.

  I quickly follow her inside. I usually avoid coming here at all cost. Memories of a life I lost always takes over when I step through the door.

  Katie walks over to The Booth and takes a seat. My heart speeds up. “Let’s eat at the counter.” I say in an attempt to sit anywhere but that booth.

  “I want to sit here.” Katie is still upset from our conversation therefore I give in.