“I’m sorry,” I said.
“For what?”
“For a lot, but for starters, not being supportive of you and Lucy.”
“I always thought my bachelor party would include a trip to Vegas. Instead, it’s taking place in a shitty bar, and my brother and I are having a heart to heart.”
“I didn’t have a bachelor party. There wasn’t time since Sage and I got married a week after I proposed. I never really believed in them anyway.”
“And yet you threw Tristan a party.”
“Yeah,” I sighed the word. “I did.”
Tristan’s bachelor party would live forever; the parts I could recall, anyway. Lots of alcohol, cigars, and poker. At one point, I bet my argyle socks because I didn’t have any money left. I’d thrown those socks into Tristan’s casket, an eternal reminder of an inside joke that would last long after both of us turned to dust.
“He was your best friend. And what am I? Just your brother.” His tone could’ve been snide—it wasn’t. It was full of understanding. “You don’t think I know how this looks? Everyone knew Tristan, everyone loved him—everyone loved Tristan and Lucy together. I’ll be the second husband, always second best.”
“Is that how you see yourself?” I asked in surprise. My brother always seemed so sure of himself. Solid, but never cocky. Did we have something in common—were we both sinking under the bulk of our own inadequacies?
Wyatt grinned in wry humor. “No, but I know that’s what others will think. I don’t want to replace anyone; I just want to make her happy.”
“A worthy mission,” I said. “I’m sorry I never tried to know you, not the way you deserved.”
“It’s okay, Kai.”
“It’s not okay,” I insisted. “All these years…I don’t expect you to forgive me overnight.”
“You’re my brother,” Wyatt said. “You’ve had your own share of hardships.”
Wasn’t that the truth?
“Things are going to be different—I want them to be different.”
Wyatt tapped his beer bottle against mine, letting years of tension between us clink away as if it had never existed. It was gracious and more than I deserved. Wyatt was a true gentleman. To think I’d spent years of my life taking my brother for granted, never wanting to be close to him because I had Tristan and Reece. Who did Wyatt have? Lucy, and now he’d have me, the way it should’ve always been.
“Let me buy you a shot,” I said, rising. I had a lot to make up for, but it was a new beginning for Wyatt and me. A new beginning for all of us, maybe.
“Bring a few.” Wyatt grinned. “It’s not a bachelor party if the groom doesn’t get hammered.”
I laughed. “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s drinking.”
“You’re good at a lot of things, Kai. That was always your problem.”
“You think so? I always thought I wasn’t good at anything that mattered.” I sighed. “I’ll get those shots.”
“Make ’em Jack.”
•••
I stood in the bedroom doorway, watching Sage turn the page of a book. She was snuggled up in bed, and if I knew her like I thought I did, she’d been there for hours. “I love coming home to you.”
Glancing up, she quirked her lips into a smile. “I’m glad. How was your night?”
“Mellow.” I plopped onto the bed and kissed her. I’d gotten Wyatt thoroughly plastered before carting him home. I stayed sober. Best man duties. Had to make sure he didn’t wind up in an alley somewhere lying in a pile of his own puke. “I have a brother.”
“Just now noticing that fact?”
“Yes.” My expression sobered. “I can be a real ass.”
“It’s called being human.”
She closed her book, set it aside and pulled me closer to her. I rested my head against her body as she plowed her fingers through my hair, and I sighed in contentment.
“Alice called me with some interesting news.”
She toyed with my ear. I couldn’t think when she did that. “Yeah?”
“Tristan’s parents have reconciled, and they’re donating a library to your old high school in his honor.”
“Reconciled? Miracles do happen.” I lifted my head and looked into her eyes.
“They do. Speaking of miracles—I’m ready.”
“Ready?”
“For a baby—give me a baby, Kai.”
“You sure?”
She nodded and leaned in to kiss me. I took her into my arms, and it was a long time before I let go.
•••
“You look beautiful,” I said.
Lucy turned and smiled, running a hand down her yellow dress. “Shouldn’t you be out there making sure Wyatt doesn’t pull a disappearing act?”
“What man has ever wanted to leave you, Lucy?”
“Good point.” She grinned.
“What does it feel like?” I asked. “Getting married for the second time? Are you just as sure?”
Lucy tilted her head to the side, lost in thought. “Yes, but it’s incomparable. Tristan was the eye of the storm, and I’d loved him ever since we were kids. I didn’t fall in love with Wyatt until I was an adult, a mother. It’s just as strong, just as real, but different.” She gazed at me. “I knew I was going to marry Tristan since I was a child.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just knew he was going to be the boy I would marry.”
“You were eight. How could you know something like that?”
She shrugged. “Just knew.”
I sighed. “He’d be glad you’re happy.”
“Maybe. Last night, I dreamed we talked and he threw things and ranted, but in the end he wished me happiness.”
“Do you dream about him a lot?”
“Every now and again.”
I wondered if I should tell her I had dreamed about them every night until very recently. Maybe I was finding peace. Maybe Tristan and Reece were finding it, too. Smiling, I held out my hand. “Come on. I think it’s time I walk you down the aisle.”
I wished I could stand in the middle, between Wyatt and Lucy, to let them know I was there for both of them.
“It’s okay to be happy, Kai,” Lucy said, taking my arm.
“Are you telling me, or yourself?”
“Both.”
“Let’s go. And try not to trip.”
•••
“It was a beautiful wedding,” Sage said, sliding out of bed. She cracked open the window, letting in the sound of rain, the brisk autumn air and the moonlight. She shivered in her skin. I missed her for a brief moment until she climbed back in next to me, seeking my warmth.
I pressed a kiss to her collarbone, and her fingers trailed down the length of my spine. “I didn’t see most of it.”
“You didn’t?”
“I was too busy watching you until Dakota started throwing a tantrum.”
Sage laughed. “Wyatt handled it nicely.”
He’d picked up Dakota, who sat in Evelyn Evanston’s lap, before returning to the altar. He had promised to protect and love Lucy, and it only made sense to include her son.
“They’re going to have a long, wonderful life together.”
Tugging her beneath me, I trapped her with my heat. “Do you want to continue talking about the wedding?”
“Nope.”
We melded together, one body, one heart, beating the same tattoo of homage to each other. I lost myself, and when I came back I felt as though we were knotted together—our tragedies and hopes intertwined like tree saplings.
We awoke late the next day, ate breakfast for lunch, and then went back to bed.
“I’m going to be sad when we move out of this cabin,” Sage said.
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. It feels like Memaw’s home knows you from when you were a kid, and I wish I did, too.”
“You and I will make new memories in a new home—with a skylight so we can see the stars from our be
d; with a kitchen where we can dance to Tom Petty, and with four extra bedrooms…” I trailed off.
I didn’t say what those rooms would be for, but we both knew—we wouldn’t talk about it until there was something to hope for. She snuggled close to me and put her head to my heart; her soft breathing was a lullaby, and it sang me to sleep.
•••
From the front porch of a familiar cabin, I watch the autumn rain come down in twisted sheets. Reece sits on a stool, a beer in his hands.
“You gonna share that?” I ask.
Reece passes it to me. “What’s on your mind, Kai?”
“Is it always hard? I mean, always?”
“Harder at some points than others. Life is what you make it.”
I find my smile. “Sage wants another baby.”
“And you want to make her happy, don’t you?”
“It’s the only way I have a chance at finding it for myself.”
“That’s deep,” Reece jokes, but then turns thoughtful. “You never think you’re good enough, deserving enough, but you are.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yep. Things happen; people make mistakes. Happiness can grow in even the darkest of places.”
The rain lightens, and I breathe in the smell of fresh greenery. I don’t feel relief yet, though the calm of the mountains surround me.
“Stop looking back, Kai. Look forward. You’ll find your answers there.”
Chapter 28
Sage
I sat on the couch with a blanket spread over my legs, a roaring fire chasing away the afternoon chill. Kai walked into the living room, beaming like a loon.
“You’re never going to guess who called me.”
“Howard Stern.”
Kai grinned. “Nope.”
“Well, I’m out of ideas.”
“It was Béla Fleck.”
“Béla Fleck. As in the famous banjo player you got to come to our reception?”
“How many Béla Flecks are there?” He laughed.
“He called you himself?”
“Yeah. He’s in New York giving a few concerts. He asked me to fly up there.”
“Why?”
“He loved the song I wrote, and he wants to hear more.”
“You’re kidding?”
He shook his head. “Even I can’t believe it.”
“Do you have any other songs?”
“Maybe.”
“There’s a bit of mystery to you, Kai Ferris,” I said with a grin.
“I was going to play them for you.”
“Hmmm.” I pretended not to believe him. This was hardly a surprising turn. I knew what the mandolin meant to him.
“Should I pursue this?” He sat next to me, his leg bouncing in agitation. He took my hand and studied it. “What if something comes of it? It could take me away from you.”
“It wouldn’t be forever.”
“What happens if you get pregnant?”
“Then we have a baby. Do I really need to explain the birds and the bees to you?”
He laughed.
“It’s just a meeting, Kai. See where it leads before you worry about all the reasons why you’re scared to do it. We have to stop being scared.” My eyes poured into him before unveiling something I was holding close to me. “I’ve been writing—and not just in journals.”
“Ah, someone else is being mysterious.”
I grinned. “We have to find the things that make us happy.”
“So, writing makes you happy now?”
“Denying it has made me unhappy. See this through, Kai. For you. Let this be all for you.”
“You make it easy.” He pulled me into his arms.
“It is. Our possibilities are endless—like the stars in the sky.”
“Endless, huh?”
I smiled and kissed him. “Like my love for you.”
•••
“We’re going to be eating leftover hot dogs and hamburgers for two weeks,” I said with a laugh, opening another pack of buns and placing them on a plate. Kai fished through the refrigerator and pulled out every condiment known to man.
“What? You don’t want hamburgers for breakfast?” he teased.
“I guess I could crumble them up and add them to scramble eggs,” I joked. I put the pan of sliced potatoes into the oven and turned on the timer. “Will you set the patio table?” I handed him a stack of napkins and paper plates.
“Sure. I’ll get the grill going. And light the bonfire, too. It’s going to be a cold night.”
“Want a beer while you do manly things?”
He laughed. “Please.”
I opened a bottle and handed it to him.
“Thank you, darlin’,” he drawled, placing a kiss in the curve of my neck, making me shiver. “Do we have time before—”
The doorbell rang, and we both laughed. “Would you get that?” I asked. “I want to start the mac and cheese.”
“How much food are you making?”
“Enough for a going away party.”
“I’ll only be in New York for a few days.” Shaking his head, he went to answer the door and came back holding Dakota, who shrieked in delight when Kai pretended to drop him.
Lucy stuck a bottle of white wine in the refrigerator and then hugged me. “Can I help?”
“Nah, just sit there and keep me company,” I said, gesturing to the kitchen chair. Kai grabbed Wyatt a beer and they went outside, taking Dakota with them.
“Wyatt is really happy,” Lucy said.
“Well, he just got married. I hope he’s happy.”
Lucy laughed. “I’m talking about him and Kai. They’re finally acting like brothers.”
I shook my head as I put the noodles on to boil and checked the potatoes. “Who knew? Are you guys going to go on a honeymoon?”
“I don’t know. Is it a honeymoon if you bring your kid?”
“We’ll watch him for you.”
“That’s a nice offer, but I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Forget about it, we’d be happy to do it. At least for a few days.” I winked.
Lucy smiled. “All right, I’ll talk it over with Wyatt. Thanks, Sage.”
By dusk, everyone had arrived and we were outside enjoying more food than we could possibly eat. The heat of the bonfire stretched around us, pocketing us in warmth while the crisp autumn air nipped at our cheeks.
“Sit down,” Alice commanded.
“I can’t,” I protested. “I’m the hostess.” Alice pushed me into a chair and handed me a glass of lemonade. “Don’t you dare clean up,” I warned her.
“Paper plates, remember? They just go in the trash,” Alice said as she picked up a stack and dumped them into the waiting garbage.
I sighed, realizing Alice would have her way. I caught Kai staring at me, the promise of our future written in the smile lines around his eyes. My love for him swelled like a water balloon ready to burst. He wanted to give me everything, but he didn’t realize he already had. His heart was more than enough.
I love you, he mouthed across the backyard before turning his attention back to Wyatt and Keith.
“Who’s ready for pie?” I asked, standing up. “I’ve got banana cream, coconut cream, and chocolate cream.”
“Bring them all!” Wyatt shouted.
“Yeah, why choose?” Keith demanded.
I laughed and went into the house. I grabbed a knife and pulled out the pies, slicing them and putting slivers onto small paper plates. The sliding door opened, and I looked up into the hesitant face of my mother-in-law.
“Need some help?” Claire asked.
“Sure,” I said, wondering if this was Claire’s version of an olive branch. It wasn’t as though the woman screamed domesticity.
“Is he looking forward to his meeting in New York?”
“Yes. He’s still in shock though. Trying not to get carried away.”
“Where will it lead?”
“Not sure; it might not l
ead anywhere. We don’t know.”
Claire sighed. “I really do want him to be happy. You too, Sage.”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” I said lightly. I knew I could have been more gracious, but she’d made Kai’s homecoming unnecessarily difficult. The way she had treated her son made me furious.
“I know,” she said. “It’s hard to let go of the vision you have for your children.”
I nodded in understanding. My mother had never let go. There hadn’t been enough time. If she had lived, I wondered if I would’ve found my place—to stand proud and eventually embrace my gift, or if I would have continued to push it away. I would never know.
“I’m sorry—about the baby. I never told you,” Claire said, jarring me back to the present.
I looked at my mother-in-law, weighing her sincerity. “Thank you.”
“My son can have us both; he doesn’t have to choose, does he?”
I smiled and touched Claire’s arm. “No, he doesn’t.” She squeezed my hand, and we didn’t need any more words.
After distributing dessert, I settled into a chair. Kai came to sit next to me, and I fed him bites of pie, smearing whipped cream on his lips and kissing it off of him. I didn’t care that people could see us. I wanted all his sweetness.
“The banana cream is the best,” he said.
“No, the chocolate.” I smiled. “What do you think? Is this a good sendoff?”
“Decent,” he said and then grinned, “but it won’t compare to our reunion.”
•••
“What are you doing?” I asked from the doorway of the kitchen. Kai was sitting at the table; tools, fishing line, and an assortment of other things were in front of him.
“Did I wake you?” His eyes were tired and his cowlick was in fine form.
“No. What’s on your mind?” I took a seat and placed my hand on his thigh. He looked conflicted.
“Am I doing the right thing? Going to New York?”
Dandelion Dreams Page 19
