by Rebel Farris
As I got closer to the archway leading to the room, I could hear the soft melodic sounds of the piano playing a melancholy tune. It was heartbreakingly beautiful. It wasn’t any written piece, just notes that Jared’s fingers found as he let the music take over. He played for me often.
“When are you going to start writing this stuff down?” I asked. “Seriously, the world needs your music.” I sat next to him on the piano bench and rested my head on his shoulder.
He wouldn’t answer me just yet. He had to find a stopping point before his mind would process the question. Eventually, the notes slowed and tapered off. He turned and kissed my forehead.
“I don’t know. I can’t stop long enough to write down the notes. If I do, I lose the melody. I’ve tried—I’ve just never been able to write. Not one of my many talents, I suppose.” He offered me a soft smile, and my heart skipped a beat. “I’ve a present for you.” He pointed across the piano.
Leaning up against the wall was a black Fender Stratocaster with a gray paisley print. Tied around the neck was a big red satin bow.
I looked at him, confused. “You bought me a guitar?”
He grinned. “Yeah, it’s your favorite. Plus, these hands—” He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles, smiling that devastating smile at me. “These long beautiful fingers are perfect for playing guitar. There’s more,” he said as he jumped up, still holding my hand, and dragged me across the room.
Next to the stunning guitar, on the floor, was a rectangular guitar case full of music tools and paraphernalia.
“I got everything you need to play, plus extra strings and stuff. And you remember that blues album we were listening to the other day that you liked?”
“Uh-huh,” I drew out hesitantly, not sure where he was going with this.
“That guitar player’s name is Stevie Ray Vaughn.” His eyes were wide with excitement. “He lives in Austin. Normally doesn’t teach guitar, but he and my dad go way back. I called and got him to agree to give you lessons in the fall. When you go there for school.”
“Are you serious?” I flung myself toward him and threw my arms around his neck. “That sounds amazing. Plus, if I learn to play and read music and stuff, when you come home on leave, I can write up the music you make. That would be so awesome.”
“I love you.” His voice was gentle as his thumb brushed over my cheek.
“I love you, too.”
He smiled a huge, bright smile, and I couldn’t help myself. My lips crashed into his as I tried to say everything for which I had no words. I never thought it was possible to love someone so much. He and the girls had become my everything. The thought of him leaving was unbearable.
“Dance with me,” I urged.
“Now?” His eyebrows drew together. “There’s no music.”
“You don’t need music when you have it in your soul. Sing to me.”
I was thrilled when I found out that he had been taught basic ballroom dancing for his dad’s many formal military functions. I loved to dance.
He started singing. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes as he led me around the small space to the melody he sang. A contented smile graced my face. My heart was so full.
Now
It’s Friday, and I’ve been cleaning every square inch of my house since early this morning. I’m restless and agitated. I don’t know why I thought this creep’s interest in me had waned with the end of the band. I deluded myself.
I was stupid—too stupid—because something could’ve happened to the girls.
Evan found a security company, and we hired guards for the girls, but it takes time to assign guys willing to move in and become full-time protection detail. Until then I’m pretty much grounded, and Evan’s out today following the girls and Audra’s mystery dad as an added security measure.
Standing in the kitchen, I throw the sponge into the sink with a strangled scream between clenched teeth. I need to relax. The girls will be home soon with their new friend. I walk to my study and stare at my wall of guitars, contemplating which one I need right now.
My eyes catch the acoustic in the corner of the room, cradled by a stand on the floor. Jared’s guitar. The one he carried with him all the time when we first met. He left it for Cat, which is why it doesn’t hang on the wall with the rest of my collection.
I grab it with the intention of going to my favorite spot to play—outside on the patio. Watching the water in the pool calms me, centers me.
I open the door. Shrieking, I fall back, clutching my chest. The pool boy is standing there with his fist raised as if to knock on a door that’s no longer there. He grins and drops his hand.
“Umm, hi,” he says.
Caleb is the neighbors’ kid. I think he’s a senior in high school this year, but I’m not sure. My girls have a crush on him. They’ve had one since he moved in next door, three years ago. He’s been cleaning neighborhood pools for as long as that.
“Shit, Caleb. You scared me half to death,” I say, righting myself. “Did you forget your keys to the pool house again?”
His lips tip up into a smirk as his eyes roam over my body. I realize I’m still wearing booty shorts and the form-fitting tank top that I clean the house in. He slowly shakes his head.
“No,” he says, and I swear his voice is deeper, husky even. “It’s the fifteenth.”
“Oh, sorry. I completely spaced… Hold on. Be right back.”
I leave him at the open door, setting down the guitar. I can’t believe I forgot that his payment is due today. I only hope I have the cash on hand. I rummage my purse and thankfully produce the needed funds without having to resort to begging him to take a check.
I turn back hastily and nearly slam into his chest. I jerk back and look up at him. His eyes are dilated, and he’s too close. I take a step back and then another as he follows me, mirroring my movements with an almost predator-like slowness. Unease settles in my gut. My muscles tense and move to a defensive position of their own accord.
“Caleb, what’re you doing?” My voice hitches, as my back hits the counter, and he places his hands on either side of my hips, trapping me in. My fists clench. The skin across my knuckles are already tight from bruising.
“I turned eighteen last month.”
I nod. “Happy belated birthday?”
“You know, you and I’ve a lot in common,” he says as he stares at my breasts, unabashed.
“We do?” I ask, forcing a fake smile.
“You haven’t had a guy here, aside from your brothers, since I moved in. You must get very lonely, Miss D.”
I’m stunned, and despite the fact that he’s a good-looking kid, I’m no Mrs. Robinson. I’ve no desire to be in the same line for the opposite sex as my daughters.
“You’re too funny,” I say, trying to deflect the best way I know how.
Pretend this is a joke. I really hope it is.
I don’t want to get in trouble for hurting the neighbors kid, but he probably should back up. I shove his shoulder, trying to move him away. He doesn’t move, not an inch. He only grasps my hand and pulls it to his lips. He sucks my index finger into his mouth. My thighs clench, and my eyes widen.
I cannot be getting turned on by this. I need to get laid by an actual man, ASAP.
I twist my wrist out of his grasp and use the heel of my hand to strike the center of his chest. Not full force, but enough to let him know I mean business. He finally stumbles back. His mouth hangs open in shock for only a second before he recovers with a look like a cat that just cornered a mouse.
“I know you’re lonely. I can see it in your eyes. Every woman needs to be fulfilled. I can be that person for you. No strings.”
I groan and aim for my most stern mother voice as I admonish him. “Caleb, that’s so not appropriate. My needs are none of your business. You need to leave.”
I grab his arm—which is quite solid—and drag him to the front door
. His shoulders slump in defeat. Once I have him on the front porch, I shove the wad of cash into his hand, then slam the door and lock it.
I lean back against the door and slide down as hysterical laughter bubbles up my throat. Fuck, what is my life becoming? It’s sad. The thought of fucking him repulses me. The fact that the pool boy knows about my dry spell, that it’s that obvious, is pathetic. I’ve never felt this amount of sexual frustration, ever. I don’t know what’s changed, but it feels… I don’t have a word for it.
An image of Dex springs to mind. What it would be like to have his hands all over me. That little bit’s enough to tip the scale and have me seeking relief. I pull my shorts to the side and tentatively run my finger over my seam, imagining what it would feel like if Dex touched me there. I push two fingers inside myself. I close my eyes and moan, seeing those beautiful sea-green eyes. I recall his muscular arms covered in tattoos. I stroke myself over and over, thinking of him and the way tingles lingered on my skin in the wake of his touch. My legs convulse, and my core muscles tighten. I press my thumb to my bundle of nerves and send myself over the edge in a short, quick release that only has me wishing for the real thing.
“Dammit, what am I doing?” I mutter.
I quickly right myself and check the peephole to make sure Caleb isn’t still around. I breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of an empty porch and take a step back. I need to get to my music. Wishing there was some work to do on my cars instead, I storm toward the back door, grabbing the guitar I’d abandoned. I lift the strap over my head as I pace the patio. Tuning the guitar quickly, I fall on to the edge of a lounger.
I breathe deeply to calm down. The way I’m feeling, all I want to do is smash my hands into the strings and rip out chords, but I’ve the wrong guitar for that. There’s a storm of emotions swirling through me. I can’t make sense of any of them. I pluck a few notes, and my heartbeat starts to slow.
I play a song I’ve been working on for a few weeks. It’s new material. I play and sing, putting my loneliness and frustration into every note, every word. The more I sing the words, the more I realize that this song says everything that my soul, heart, body and mind refuse to communicate to one another.
When I finish, I stare at the gently lapping water of the pool. This is why I love music; it's my therapy. I feel calm, more clear about my decisions.
“I didn’t know you played.” A deep male voice jolts me. I spring from my seat as I spin to see Dex standing between my two girls.
My heart is racing, and I vaguely register my hands trembling. Why’s he here? How does he know where I live?
“What’re you doing here?” My voice is laced with venom.
The twins, standing next to him, look between Dex and me, confusion stamped on their faces.
“I didn’t know this was your place,” he says as his eyes wander around, taking it all in. “It’s impressive. Yet another mystery to add to the list of Maddie.”
“You’re not answering my question.”
“This is Audra’s dad,” Cora interjects. “You two know each other?”
My mind’s still reeling. Dex’s the father of my girls’ new bestie. Great. Fantastic.
“What the hell, Mom?” Cat asks.
“Cat,” I say in a warning tone.
“How do you know him?” Cora questions.
I look to Dex, who has his hand on the shoulder of a gorgeous little girl. There’s a similarity in their facial features, but her emerald eyes and red hair must come from her mother. Can’t say I saw that coming.
“He was my tattoo artist.”
“Ooooooh—oh, shit!” Cat exclaims.
“Cat! You’re really making me reconsider the language policy in this house. Cut it out.”
“It’s fine. He lets Audra talk how she wants,” Cora supplies. “That’s how we met. She dropped her books and papers in the middle of the hall at school and let out the most creative string of curses I’ve ever heard. I knew then that we’d be best friends forever.” She has a brilliant smile on her face, but I recognize the evil mastermind gleam in those eyes.
My girls are around Holly and Chloe too much to not pick up on the tension between the tattoo artist and me. She’s about to pull something. I need to cut her off right quick.
“Why don’t you girls go show Audra your rooms? Get her settled?”
“I know what you’re—” Cat starts.
“Cat!” I yell to cut her off.
“Yes, Mommy Dearest. We’ll even check her bag for wire hangers while we’re at it.”
“No wire hangers!” Cora gives her best Joan Crawford impersonation.
I hear a deep chuckle and turn my attention to Dex, who’s watching us with amusement. It’s a stark contrast from his anger last Friday. The girls start whispering to each other and giggling.
Remembering my manners, I add, “It’s nice to meet you, Audra.”
“It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Wilson.” Audra says.
I suck in a breath and hold it for a beat, then force a smile. “It’s Miss Dobransky. But you can call me Maddie.”
“Oh, cool.” She smiles broadly, exposing dimples just like her dad’s. “Well, thanks for letting me stay the night, Miss Maddie.”
“Oh, BTW,” Cat says. “We invited Caleb to dinner tonight.”
“You should’ve seen his face light up when I asked,” Cora says. “I think he might have a thing for Cat.”
Oh, God. I rub at my temples, wishing I had a useful superpower that would solve this. Whatever this is. I have no words. We have an open policy about dinners around here. We invite people to join us all the time.
“You should stay for dinner too, Mr. McClellan,” Cat adds.
“I’m sure he has—” I start to protest.
“Sounds great,” he responds.
And that seals it. Tonight’s gonna be awkward as fuck.
When they close the door behind them, I drag my gaze back to Dex. He's standing, back straight, feet apart, and arms crossed over his chest. He has a spellbinding ownership of the space, and fuck if it doesn’t turn me on. He drags his gaze over me, starting at my toes and slowly working his way up. My nipples tighten in response. He finally makes eye contact and quirks a questioning brow.
“Is this what you always wear to greet the father of your kids’ friends?”
His question knocks me back into reality. I look down and realize that my hardened nipples are putting on a show through the thin white tank. Oh, God. Why didn’t I think to change earlier? I cross my arms over my chest.
“Uh, no. This’s what I usually wear to clean house. And today I had a rare day off, so I’ve been cleaning all day. Then the pool boy showed up… and I’ve just had a lot on my mind… I don’t know, I just forgot." I’m rambling, and I can’t stop. I’m getting flustered when I never get flustered. I’m not ashamed of my body, and I’m most certainly not shy. Not to mention that I’ve been on stage in front of way more people in less than this. Plus, I’ve made my decision about him.
I drop my hands and stand up straight, looking him in the eye. Well, I try at least. His gaze is bouncing over my body. It’s quite humorous. “You just find out that I’ve two daughters and that’s the first thing you ask?”
His gaze finally lands on mine. “It’s that distracting.” His dimple appears with the showing of a smirk.
I don’t know whether to laugh or moan at the heat in his eyes. I choke back both. I need to stop this. Right here. Right now.
“Look, Dex. I understand I’ve been giving you mixed signals, at best, and I apologize for that. You should know, what I offered you at the bar is all I’ll ever be able to offer you.” He raises a hand to stop me, but I shake my head and take a step toward him. “No, let me finish. Because the moment you crossed the threshold of this house, that offer was off the table. Actually, the moment you laid eyes on my girls, it was done. What I do to… meet my needs—” I swallow thickly. “—never cross
es over to my family life. Never. You get me? I’m not ever going to be one of those moms who parades a string of boyfriends around in front of her kids. Plus, I haven’t exactly been honest with you about who I—”
“I already know who you are,” he interrupts, his deep, calm voice resonating in my ears. “In fact, I have a whole file on you, Laine.”
No. Please don’t let it be him. My toes start tingling. Dizziness sweeps through me. The tingling travels up my body, and I’m unable to move. Black spots invade my vision, and I struggle to take a breath. Dex lunges toward me. I feel weightless as my vision goes black.
Then
When I stepped out of the steamy shower, my body felt more relaxed than it had in weeks. After months apart, while Jared was in basic training, we had just spent the night together. It was everything I’d hoped it would be. We had spent every available moment in each other’s arms knowing this was only a brief reprieve.
In a few hours, I’d head back to Texas, and he’d be off to advanced training for Intelligence Analyst and then Special Forces training until sometime early the next year.
I wiped the steam from the hotel bathroom mirror, not recognizing myself. The dark circles that plagued my eyes the past month were gone. I looked happy, glowing even. Our relationship had only grown stronger in the last few months as we wrote letter after letter to each other. Before Jared left, I didn’t think I could love him more, but I was wrong. I felt as if my heart would crack open from the fullness.
I ran my hands over my breasts. They were achingly full, which meant I was going to need to go to Diana and John’s room and feed the babies soon. The girls were probably awake and in full fuss mode. Knowing Diana, she was trying to pacify them to give us time. That’s what we lacked—time.
When I opened the bathroom door, Jared was pacing back and forth, deep in thought. He didn’t even notice me.
He looked different from before basic training. His hair was shaved close to his skull. His muscles were larger and more defined. And the uniform. I never thought I’d be one of those girls to go gaga for a uniform until I saw him decked out from head to toe at his graduation ceremony.
