by Rebel Farris
“Got it, Mom. This ain’t my first rodeo,” she says with a grin.
“Fine. Don’t make me regret this, please,” I beg.
This is the first time I’ve let either of my girls go out on one of these machines alone. Even though technically Evan’ll be with them the whole time, it still makes me nervous. I hand off my life jacket to Audra, who snaps it on quickly and climbs on behind Cat.
“Later, Miss D,” Audra says as I push them away from the beach.
A genuine smile blooms across me face for her. “Have fun.”
Cat starts the engine and eases over to where Evan is waiting. He says something to them, the girls nod, and then they’re off.
I turn and march back up the beach to our spot. Marcus and Nic are working on getting the grill set up. Those two have become fast friends. I walk over to Holly, Chloe, and Bridget, who are sitting in lawn chairs around a patch of sand where Hope plays with a variety of toys.
I dig up a beer from the ice chest and turn to take my seat, only to realize that Dex is sitting in my chair. I make a face at him, and he shrugs with a dimpled grin. I walk past him to the next chair over, when he grabs me and pulls me into his lap. His hand lands on my hip, and his mouth is at my ear before I have a chance to struggle.
“We’ve gotta sell it, Maddie.”
He’s right. We’re in a public place and not at my work. We’d act like a normal couple. It doesn’t mean anything. Just relax. I can see the logic. The lake is crowded today. I relent and lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I’m not used to the physical contact. You’re pretty patient with me. It’s just—you just don’t know—”
I’m cut off as his lips land on mine. Another chaste kiss but one that lingers long enough that my lips start to tingle from the contact.
“I know all I need to know, right now,” he says, effectively cutting me off and ending the conversation.
I drink my beer as I look at him, but his attention is out on the lake, so I take a moment to study his profile. I think that if I weren’t so fucked-up, I’d probably go for him. He’s a very attractive guy. His square jaw lined with that short, stubbly beard. It’s a good look.
“How old is she?” he asks, looking in Holly’s direction.
“Two years younger than me.”
He looks at me blandly. “I meant the baby.”
“Oh, Hope. She’s three.”
“What happened to the dad?” he asks in a low voice. “Why isn’t he around?”
“That’s not my story to share, Dex.”
He nods and looks back out to the lake. He has a cluster of little beauty marks near the corner of his left eye that I’ve never noticed before. I think because I’m always distracted by the scar through that eyebrow. I have to fight the urge not to touch them. He’s the kind of guy that makes badass beautiful. It’s kind of surprising that he’s single.
“How’re you still single?” I ask without thinking.
“Looking to change that?” he asks, raising one eyebrow with a smirk. I don’t answer so he shrugs. “I don’t know. Job’s not conducive to meeting the right kinds of people. I gotta think about Audra.” He nods out to the lake as the girls zoom by in a race against Evan and Cora. “I guess, I just hadn’t met anyone worth pursuing.”
I scrunch up my nose because I just can’t see it. “So, you’re celibate?”
What in the fuck happened to my brain-to-mouth filter? I can’t believe I just said that out loud. My face heats up, but luckily, he doesn’t look back at me.
“I never said that.”
“Well, I already know you don’t do one-night stands. And you just said you don’t date.”
“You’re assuming a lot here, aren’t you? I never said I don’t do one-night stands.”
“Oh, so it was just me?”
“You really want to have this conversation?” He looks at me again, and our faces are inches apart. “Because I’m not so sure you’re ready to hear what I gotta say on the matter.”
His face is serious, and I don’t know what that means, but I think better of finding out.
“Maybe not,” I say, turning away.
I can’t take the proximity to him anymore, so I get up and walk to the edge of the water. I rest my toes over the waterline and wiggle them into the sand. I finish off my beer and crumple the can in my hand. Once upon a time, I let my body and heart control my actions, and I paid dearly for it. I promised myself never again. It was working so well until Dex came into the picture. He clouds my mind, and I can’t think straight with him around. I need to get my shit together.
The girls and Evan are heading back our way. I look back over my shoulder and realize that the food is almost ready, too. I go to the picnic table and set up the tablecloth, putting out the sides and fixings for the meal.
I look back at the lake just in time to see Dex peel off his shirt as the girls beach the Jet Skis. Every inch of his back is covered by a massive dragon tattoo. I find myself wondering where it actually ends, since it obviously continues past his board shorts. I shake the thought away.
Dex dives in the water and kicks with his powerful legs. Water splashes over the girls. They shriek and dive after him.
He’s laughing when he comes up several feet away. Cora makes it to him first and jumps on him, trying to take him down. He tosses her to the side with barely any effort, and she sails through the air several feet away, laughing and screaming. Cat and Audra try to work together, but he tosses them both.
“You’re drooling,” Evan says, walking up to me and pushing my mouth closed with a finger to the chin.
He shakes out his wet hair, and droplets splash across my face.
“Dammit, Ev.” I hold up my hands in a futile attempt to block the water.
“You could do worse, you know,” Evan says with a serious look on his face.
I roll my eyes.
“He’s good with the girls. He’s not after you for the fame or money or trying to further his career. Dex isn’t a bad guy. I’m just saying you could do worse.”
“I’m not ready, Ev,” I insist.
“Ah, you mean you’re not human. I’ve known you your whole life.” He raises a brow at me. “You can fool yourself, but you’re not fooling me.”
“Do you really think he’d be okay dealing with all my baggage? My issues? You don’t even know all of what happened that night. If anyone knew—” I shake my head. I have to stop talking about this. We’re here to have fun, not dredge up the ghosts of the past. “Can we just forget it and have a good time?”
Evan nods but doesn’t say anything else.
Shit. I’m such a fucking downer. I’m not even sure why my friends have stuck around the past few years. I sit on the bench, holding down the tablecloth from the breeze that threatens to carry it away. I put on a brave face while I wait for Nic to deliver the food, and work on getting through the rest of the day without depressing anyone else.
I feel a body sit on the bench behind me and turn back to find Evan there.
“I can hold down the tablecloth,” he says. “And you’ve got time. Go. Have fun.”
I look back out at the girls laughing and swimming and decide to join them. Evan’s right about one thing—I should have fun, if not for me, then definitely for them. I pull off my shorts and shirt, tossing them onto the bench with my sunglasses, then head down to the beach. I check the straps on my black bikini as I walk to make sure everything is in place. I squint through the bright sunlight, but no one is paying attention to me. The girls and Dex are involved in their own game of take-down. I try to be as sneaky as possible as I wade out into the lake and sink below the surface of the water. I swim as fast as I can along the floor of the lake in their direction.
Soon, I catch sight of their feet. I can make out Dex from the girls pretty easily and target him just as I’m running out of breath. I wrap my arms around his knees as the girls are clin
ging to him, plant my feet on the ground, and lift them up. They tip over and all go down into the water as I breach the surface. I take a big gulp of air and hear the tail end of their surprised shrieks as they splash about trying to right themselves. I grin. Mission accomplished.
“Ohhhh, you’re gonna get it,” Dex says, struggling against the force of the water to walk over to me.
I start backing up, holding my hands out as a barrier. The girls splash water in my direction and shout, “Get her!” in between giggles. I close my eyes briefly to protect myself from the splashing water, and when I open them, Dex is gone. I turn and try to run back to the shore, but I’m too late. A hand wraps around my ankle, and I lose my balance as I fall into the water. He pulls me back and slips an arm around my waist before rising to the surface.
He’s cradling me to his chest with his other arm under my legs, and when I wipe the water from my eyes, I see the mischievous gleam in his. He adjusts my weight like he’s preparing to throw me, and I screech, laughing as I throw my arms around his neck to stop him.
“Don’t you do it,” I warn.
“Or what?” he asks with a smirk. “How do you plan to stop me?”
He lifts me a little farther, and I shriek again, tightening my arms around his neck. My brain scrambles for a way to stop him from tossing me into the air, but my body reacts on instinct. His face is inches from mine, so I lean in and press my lips to his. It’s the first time I’ve ever initiated lip contact with him, and I think it stuns him because he freezes for a moment, then his mouth opens, and his tongue slips into mine. I’m stunned, too, as the kiss deepens.
My lips tingle and goose bumps spread over my flesh. Dex drops my legs, his hand slips into my hair, his other arm pulls me tighter, and my legs drift in the water to surround his waist. His lips become more forceful, claiming me, the grip on my hair tightening with a possessive edge. I let out a soft whimper, forgetting about our surroundings as I pull him closer, seeking more.
I’m snapped back to reality when water splashes at us.
“Gross,” Audra complains.
“Get a room, you two,” Cat adds.
I jerk back and scramble to get away, but he doesn’t let go. He just smiles at me, exposing those dimples like he knows I’ve a weakness for them. Like he knows they’re weapons to be used against me.
He pulls me close and whispers into my ear, “I think that sold it, if anyone was watching.”
My stomach twists as I’m slapped with the cold reality that this is just a job for him. He’s obligated to be here and to protect me. I push hard on him until he releases me and head back to the picnic tables. Why do I keep doing this to myself? It’s like I need a neon sign inside my eyelids that reminds me that this is not a real relationship every time I close them. He rejected me and got roped into playing this role. I need to remember that.
Then
We’d been up on stage for over an hour. The small crowd was pumped. The energy flowing throughout the room was electric. Vital.
Sweat trickled down my back despite the slits in the back of the white tank top I wore over a black lace bra. Sloane had taken to being my personal stylist for all our shows. My trademark was now plaid miniskirts in just about every color of the rainbow. Each came with a matching full-coverage panty underneath, so I didn’t expose myself by being on a raised platform, but it was still provocative.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed the increased male attendance at our shows, but there was an increase in the female attendance rate, too. We were just becoming more popular.
Part of me hated the fact that I was displaying my body, but it was just the way things were. Sex sells. I didn’t hear the catcalls and dumb remarks anymore. The guys in the audience wanted to be stupid. It was their problem. The guys in the band respected me as an artist, and that was all that mattered.
Spence had taken to educating me on the history and ways of punk music, and in turn, I offered suggestions to tweak their current lineup of songs. We spent a lot of time together over the past year since Spence had done most of the songwriting for the group, to begin with. We’d also written some new material and even came up with a few covers of very non-punk songs.
My personal favorite and first solo contribution to the band was a cover of “I Put a Spell on You” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins. The band, after hearing me perform it, also decided that I’d step up to the mic for that one, allowing Law a break in the middle of the set. There were only two more songs to go, and my cover would make its debut.
I put my awesome steel-toed combat boot up on one of the smaller speakers that lined the front of the stage. Some guy tried to scale the stage to get to me. His eyes were firmly fixed on the underside of my skirt. Idiot. I shook my head because it was never going to happen. I moved to stand in front of him and planted my boot on his forehead, giving him a shove until he toppled backward.
People laughed, but you really couldn’t hear anything over the music. Some were throwing themselves against each other up front, mostly men. Others, pinwheeling their arms about, occasionally hitting others but not caring. Soon the crush of the crowd swallowed the stage climber, and I lost sight of him.
I walked over to Law, who was screaming into the microphone about revolt and the system. Typical punk music themes. My solo was coming soon, and we usually played off each other, gave a bit of a sexy show, which turned eyes to me for the solo. I leaned my head back on his shoulder as I launched into the guitar solo. His hand ran up the back of my thigh, squeezing my ass as he bit my neck. Not hard; it was all for show. Tina took a picture of this move once, and it made Law look like a punk rock god with his badass bitch wailing on the guitar at his side. Even though it was all part of the act, he still got to claim me offstage.
When my solo ended, I walked back near Monk’s drum kit to release focus back to Law. I don’t think I’d ever thought about how much choreography went into live band performances until I joined one. Every move served a purpose, and it was all about control, focusing the audience on what you wanted them to see. Another lesson from my wise punk sensei, Spence.
Finally, as the song came to an end, it was time for our midset break. I needed to use the restroom after downing nearly an entire bottle of water between each song. I made my way back to the edge of the stage where the stairs were. I was headed to the bathroom just off the greenroom when Spaz pushed me into the wall and bolted past me.
Fucker.
I chased him, knowing where he was going. I skidded to a stop in front of the bathroom door and threw my shoulder into it.
“Spaz? You can’t do this to me again. I just need to pee. You can have at it after,” I pleaded, losing the battle on forcing the door back open.
Spaz, on the other side of the door, trying to push it shut, said, “No can do, sweet cheeks. You know I gotta go.”
The door thudded closed, and the lock slid into place.
“Son of a bitch!” I slammed my palm on the door. “Every. Fucking. Time! Spaz, just give me thirty seconds. Please? You know that bathroom won’t be fit for use after you’re done.”
I pounded on the door relentlessly. I heard several chuckles from behind me and turned to find the other three guys watching me with amused grins. Seconds later, my nose was assaulted with a vile smell emanating from the bathroom. I gagged and moved away quickly. I was going to have to brave the crowd to make it to the ladies’ room.
I started out the door and past the tables. I hadn’t gone ten whole feet before the first hand grabbed my ass. Seriously, guys are fucking stupid. I spun around, and before he could blink, the heel of my palm was smashing up into his nose.
“Fuck! My nose,” the asshole whined, holding his bleeding nose and tilting his head back like a dumbass. “You broke my nose, bitch.”
“Serves you right for grabbing some random girl’s ass.” I spit the words at him. “Maybe next time you’ll think twice before you do that shit.”
“Y
ou were asking for it dressed like that.” He waved his arm at me.
I caught sight of Law leaning against the doorway to the greenroom, watching me with a smirk on his face. Always vigilant, though he knew full well I could take care of myself.
“Yeah, I don’t give a fuck how a woman is dressed. You should thank your lucky stars for the entertainment value alone. But permission, it’s not. It’s got nothing to do with you at all. So keep your fucking hands to yourself.” I sneered at him one last time before turning back to the bathrooms. My way was blocked by three girls dressed in fishnet tights, short shorts, and some kind of athletic team T-shirts.
“Looks like we’ve a live one here,” the brunette said and motioned the beefy guy behind her in my direction.
“I’m not looking for trouble,” I said, holding my hands up in surrender. Beefy dude walked past me and grabbed busted-nose guy by the arm before dragging him through the crowd.
“Oh, we know,” the lithe strawberry blonde said with a grin, highlighting the freckles across her nose.
“We’ve been watching you,” the tall, striking blonde said.
“I was just going to the bathroom.” I moved to walk past them. “Sorry.”
“Good, we’ll come with,” the strawberry blonde said, hooking her arm around my elbow.
“Man, can you lay a path of destruction. I love it,” the brunette said with a wide grin, tugging the bill of her baseball cap. “I’m Ruby. I saw you play at the Pit once. Similar shit happened.”
Since we were making our way through the crowd at Ruby’s, I had to ask, “Ruby? Like the bar?”
“The very one. It’s my dad’s place. He bought this building the same year I was born.”
“Cool,” I said lamely, not having any clue as to what else I could say.
“I’m Holly,” said the strawberry blonde, squeezing my arm. “I’m just sayin’. Those were some kick-ass ninja moves you pulled back there. I think I might have a woman crush. So fuckin’ cool.”
“Bridget,” the striking blonde said, waving the tips of her fingers with a wink.
