by Rebel Farris
“I wish I could say the same, Munchkin,” Sloane said to Cat while giving me the side-eye. “Your mommy decided to surprise us. And I say she wins a prize for the biggest surprise ever. Don’t you think?”
“Me and Cora aren’t that big. We’re four, but we’ll be five soon.”
“Oh, honey, you’re a big adorable surprise,” Holly said. “And you both look just like your mother. It’s crazy.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” Sloane asked Cat. “My real name is Elizabeth—Sloane is my middle name. Your momma said your name is Catherine. Do you like to go by that?”
Cat shook her head. “Mommy and Nana and Pop Pop call me Kit Cat, but you can call me just Cat, too.”
“Kit Cat is perfect. What about you, sweetie?” Sloane looked to Cora.
Cora buried her face in my neck and remained silent.
“That’s Cora. She doesn’t talk to anyone, but Mommy and Nana and Pop Pop. She talk to Daddy when we went to Gernmany.”
Sloane’s eyes met mine, and I saw them flood with understanding.
“She talks to Lord Master and Uncle Lucky, too.”
Both Sloane and Holly did a double take at that.
“Evan and Nic,” I explained. “Hey, girls. Why don’t you tell Nana we’re here so we can get out of the car? It’s starting to get hot in here.”
“Okay, see ya inside,” Cat said, climbing over me as Cora slid to her feet. “Race me?”
“Sure.” Cora shrugged, and they both took off to the house.
I watched them until they got to the door and then turned to look at my stunned passengers. Neither of them looked angry, so that was a good sign.
“Say something,” I whispered.
“I’m just trying to wrap my head around Little Miss Responsibility being a teen mom.” Sloane laughed. “It fits, though, because you have two, and you’re always an overachiever.”
“Word, bitch,” Holly agreed with a chuckle, reaching out to fist-bump Sloane.
“You’re not mad?”
“Why would we be mad?” Holly asked.
I dropped my head back to the headrest and sighed. “Because I never told you about them?”
“Do you think we never noticed that you’re not exactly the sharing type?” Sloane asked. “It’s cool, really. It means you rock at keeping secrets, you listen, and you give great advice. That’s why we love you. Everything makes more sense now, why you’re always so adamant about going home every weekend.”
“Fuck, I just like the way you live in the moment,” Holly said. “You don’t dwell on shit. And Sloane’s right. You’re always there for us. Why would we get bitchy about you having kids? Though now you’re even more superhuman. Balancing this shit with what we know already. I might kind of hate you for that. Shit, I’m doing good to get through culinary school and make it to practice on time.” She grinned. “Is this why you and Law got into a fight?”
“Sort of,” I said, then gave them the rundown of last Friday night. “That’s why I thought it’d be better just to bring you here so you understand. How was I supposed to tell him I’ve two kids and their father was in critical condition on the other side of the world, while I’m walking out the door?”
“Yeah, that would’ve been a pretty fucked-up way to break the news,” Holly agreed.
“I just don’t think I realized how serious I was about Law until he walked away from me.” Tears started welling in my eyes. “I just don’t know how to fix this, and I need to fix it.”
“My brother does not deserve you,” Sloane said, squeezing my hand. “He’ll probably be crawling back to you the second he realizes you’re back. I’m not sure what he’ll make of the kids. He pretty much hates kids. He hated kids when we were kids.”
Relief ran thick in my veins. She knew her brother better than any of us.
“He only got worse when our brother came into the picture.”
“He said something about that.” Curiosity got the better of me and I asked, “I didn’t know y’all had a brother?”
“We do—he’s not around anymore. Him and Law—” She shakes her head. “To say they didn’t get along is putting it mildly. But that’s not my story to tell. You want the gory details, talk to Law.”
It was just past eight when I stepped onto the porch at Law’s place. I stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do. Should I knock? I’d never knocked before. It felt all sorts of weird to be standing there, on the outside of a place that was pretty much my second home. I stood there, my stomach twisting in knots. I finally gathered up the courage and knocked.
The door swung open.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Spence asked.
My stomach plummeted. Oh, God, they all hate me. I began to feel dizzy and may have swayed a bit.
“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. Get in here. I just meant that Law heard you were back, and he went to your dorms to grovel. You two must’ve passed each other,” he said as he grabbed my arm to steady me and pulled me inside.
He sat me down at the dining room table.
“You want something to drink?” he asked and walked to the kitchen, coming back with two Shiner Bocks. He set the beer in front of me and opened his, taking a swig before speaking again. “I know I’m not your boyfriend, but you want to explain to me why I got a text last week saying you had an emergency and didn’t know when you’d be back? I had to cancel two gigs this past week.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve a confession, and it’s kind of a big one.” I took a deep breath.
Holly and Sloane had taken it well, but that didn’t mean everyone would. I knew this was just the beginning of the rounds I had to make in my own personal walk of shame.
“I’m all ears,” he said, a smile teasing his lips.
I decided just to spit it out. “I have two kids.”
“Ummm, what? How’s that possible?”
“Well, you know when two people have sex—”
“I get the mechanics, Laine,” he said dryly.
I laughed. “I’ve two girls, twins. They’re four years old. It’s why I refuse to do gigs on Sundays and practice on Saturdays.”
“What was the emergency?” He quirked a brow. “I hope they’re okay.”
I smiled at his concern. “That’s where it gets complicated. Their father’s in the Army, and he was critically injured by an IED. He’s been over in Iraq. We flew out to Germany to see him. He’s in the same unit as my friend Evan—you guys met him once, remember? He was injured, too.”
He nodded. “Are they okay?”
I hadn’t expected him to care. I sat in shock for a moment before answering. “Yeah, Jared came out of surgery just fine. He took shrapnel to the gut, and there was a piece lodged in his armpit that was near his heart, which was why he was listed as critical. Evan took a huge piece of metal to his thigh. He’s going to need physical therapy, but for the most part, he’s fine. I’m sorry about the text, but I really couldn’t think through all the worry and stress to explain it all. Plus, for Law, this is an explanation I owe him in person. Please don’t tell him before I’ve a chance to talk to him about it.”
He rubbed a hand over his face before pinning me with his gaze. “I won’t. You’re right. It’s not something you tell someone over the phone or as you’re running out the door. That’s rough. I’m sorry to hear it. You’re not still with him, are you?”
“Huh?” I asked, my mind immediately going to Law, but then I quickly caught on at his bland look. “Oh, God no. He broke up with me back when we graduated from high school. It’s been four years since I last saw him. It’s not like that at all.”
“Good,” he said with a firm nod. “I couldn’t imagine you doing something like that. But I also never pictured you as a MILF. That increases your hot points, for sure.”
“Shut up.” I laughed out my discomfort.
“Now, this may come as a shock to you, but you’re a bit of a nerd. Always so stu
dious. Though you shed that shit for the stage, so we’re cool. But finding out you’re not Little Miss Perfect—I think it makes you more relatable. You get me?”
The front door slammed shut, and keys jingled as they were thrown on a table. Spence held a finger up to his mouth to keep me silent and got up to move to the doorway.
“You find her, man?” Spence asked.
“No. I think she may be avoiding me. Not that I don’t deserve it. I was an ass to her before she left.” Law sounded exhausted.
“You’re always an ass. You don’t think she’s used to it by now?” Spence laughed and ducked as one of the couch pillows sailed over his head into the kitchen. “See, case in point.”
“Fuck off, asshole. I’m going to my room.”
“You sure you don’t want to come join me for a beer?” He held up his beer to illustrate. “I got some pretty fine company that comes with it, too.”
“There’s no way you have a chick in here.”
“You doubt my mad skills as a chick magnet?” Spence shook his head, then shrugged. “Eh, she’s not here for me anyway. She came looking for you, but if you don’t want her. I’ll take up the cause for—”
Spence was shoved aside as Law filled the doorway. Longing filled me as I realized how much I missed him in that moment.
He crossed the room in two strides and was on his knees before me. He wrapped his big arms around my waist, pulling me toward him as he laid his head in my lap.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured into my leg.
Tears filled my eyes. “You don’t even know what you’re sorry for. I’m the one that’s sorry. I’ve been keeping things from you. Important things. None of this would’ve happened if I wasn’t so screwed up.”
“Sloane called me and told me that you were back and you had a damn good reason,” he said, still muffled by his face on my leg. “And that I shouldn’t be an asshat and screw this up.”
I laughed through the tears. “She’s eloquent, if nothing else.”
“I’m gonna go grab something. You two have a nice night,” Spence said, dumping his beer out in the sink and grabbing his keys and wallet off the counter. “I agree with your sister for once. Don’t be an asshat.” He left through the back door, and we were alone.
“Everybody knows but me?” He looked up at me with those hazel eyes, so beautiful with their flecks of green and amber.
“No, but he did get the scoop on the story because he was here. Your sister and Holly were the test run.”
His brows rose in question. “Let’s hear it.”
“You might want to sit down for this,” I warned.
“Okay?” He eyed me warily as he stood and took the seat Spencer had vacated.
“Remember when I asked you about kids?”
He nodded.
“I was asking because I already have two. Twin girls—they’re almost five now. It wasn’t something that I wanted to blast around. People aren’t typically receptive to the idea of teenage mothers.”
He stayed silent, so I continued. “When I graduate in May, I plan to move them here, with me. I honestly didn’t expect this—” I motioned between him and me. “—to become what it has. And how do you tell someone, when they’ve known you that long, that you’re a package deal? When you told me you loved me, all I could think was that I love you, too, but couldn’t say it back until I told you. And you said you didn’t want kids for a long time. Then—”
“Say it again,” he said, startling me as he stood from his seat and pulling me to stand.
“I love you.”
He pressed his lips to mine. My body melted into his as I released all the tension I was holding. He pulled back and looked over my face before resting his forehead on mine.
“Then none of the rest matters. We’ll make it work.”
“But they’re kids, Law. Actual humans with feelings and needs.”
“It doesn’t matter. I love you, Laine. I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly without you here. I missed you every second you were gone. Whatever it takes, we’ll make it work.”
He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me back to his bedroom. We spent the rest of the night properly making up.
Now
I stand at the window of my office in the studio, watching raindrops create little circles on the surface of Barton Creek below. Something is wrong. Things are not adding up. I’m not sure where the record is damaged, but I feel the skip in my gut and know that something’s not right.
When I woke up this morning, Dex was gone, I assume to go home and change, but he left no message. The rain had cleared out the paparazzi, so I convinced Evan to ride with me to work. I didn’t want to wait for Dex to come back. I’m not sure what to tell him. I don’t know how I feel. I just know something feels off this morning.
I lean my forehead on the cool glass, wrapping my arms around my waist. My leather jacket protests the movement. The rain outside brought with it a cold front, and today is chilly. The heat hasn’t kicked on in the building yet, so it’s just as chilly inside.
“Hey. Morning, Mads,” Chloe greets. “Ya need me to get something?”
“No,” I answer, my voice rough from lack of use.
“Ya okay?” she asks.
“Yeah. I love the rain. I was just watching it, but I should probably get to work.” I force a smile as I turn to face her.
Her hair is blue today, and it brings a real smile to my face when I see the new color. She moves across the office and wraps her arms around me in a hug from the side. She rests her head on my shoulder.
“We haven’t gotten to hang out much lately. I just want ya to know, I’m here for ya. Always.”
I lean my head on top of hers and relax into her. “I know,” I say as I pat her hands. “Thank you, Chloe. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She breaks away and heads for the door. “I sent ya the information on your appointment at three with the new band. They’re all set up in the system, and Nate assigned Josh to sound tech for them. Did ya want Brian to work with them, or will ya be taking this one?”
“I’m not sure. Hold off on telling Brian,” I say. “Can you find out what his schedule looks like? I may have to take them if his workload is too much. Either that or consider hiring another AR&D.”
“Will do,” she replies. “Ya should consider Asher for AR&D and hire a new scout. I think the travel’s wearing on him. Plus, lack of creative outlet. Just a suggestion.”
“A good one, though. Thanks, Chloe.”
I sit at my desk and open my laptop to get started. The strange thing is, it’s already on. I could’ve sworn I turned it off before I left yesterday. I drag my finger over the touchpad and a video starts playing. Images of Dex and me. The video from TMZ, a picture of us in the car at Zilker before the windows fogged up or clothes came off, another from our day at the lake, and the last one is the video feed of me, leaning against my front door pleasuring myself. Then the screen goes black. Words pop up on the screen like someone is typing real time.
Don’t trust him. He’s not who he says he is. He’s not there to help you. Don’t tell him anything.
The screen goes black again. My heart is racing, and my hand trembles as I reach up to see if I can replay the video. The Play bar appears at the bottom of the screen, so I should be able to. I don’t want to watch it again, ever, so I don’t even attempt it.
“Chloe,” I shout.
“Yeah, Mads?” She sticks her head in the door.
“Call Evan. Get him back here now.” My voice trembles and her expression turns to concern before she nods and leaves for her desk.
It doesn’t take long for Evan to arrive, since he’d just left, so I’m not surprised when he bursts through my office door a few minutes later. I’m lying on the couch, trying to stave off a mounting headache, when he enters.
“What happened?” he asks.
“I thought y
ou said you deleted that video?” I counter, exhausted by all this.
He looks confused for a minute, and then his face settles. “I did.”
“Well, not fast enough. Look at my computer.”
His fingers brush over the touch pad and his expression changes from concern to anger. There’s no sound on the video, so I’m not sure if it’s still playing or if he’s just staring at the screen, lost in thought.
“Did you call Detective Martinez?”
“No. I’m not sure I want to. For numerous reasons.”
“Maddie,” he says, sounding tired and exasperated. “I’m sure this shit’s embarrassing, but—”
“It’s not just that, Ev,” I say sitting up. “Something’s been bugging me about this whole situation since last night. I’m not sure who I can trust—”
My door opens and Dex walks in. He stops, looking back and forth between me and Evan. His face says he’s not happy to find me here without him, before confusion takes over. An odd pressure settles in my chest.
“Did you need something?” I ask, failing to keep the bite from my tone.
“I’ve been looking for you,” Dex answers as he moves out of the doorway and shuts it behind him. “You were supposed to be at the house. I left to go get a change of clothes and some breakfast for us.” He tosses a paper sack on to the coffee table in front of me. “When I got back, you were gone.”
“I had to get to work,” I answer.
Chloe steps inside my office, pressing her back to the door. Her face drained of color. “The FBI is here,” she says.
Then
I pulled into the parking lot of the Barton Creek Food Truck Park just after six in the evening. I’d promised to meet Jared there to discuss the girls’ living arrangements now that he was back stateside. It’d been nine months since I’d last seen him in Germany.
I didn’t see him right away, so I made my way down the L-shaped line of food trucks to see what was on the menu. I was starving. I hadn’t eaten all day, studying for final exams.
I finally decided on chicken in a cone. Food trucks were a quickly growing, gourmet phenomenon in Austin, fueled by the city’s many music festivals and active night life. And off-beat food was their specialty.
