Dionysus and the Land of Beasts

by Tracey West

  Zeus listened, quietly counting the members of the group to make sure everyone was there—and safe.

  “Thirteen,” he said out loud. “There are thirteen of us.”

  “I like that number,” Hades said.

  Demeter shivered. “I’ve always heard that it was unlucky.”

  “Well, we won’t be thirteen for long,” Zeus pointed out. “Pythia told us that we’ll find the fourteenth Olympian soon. We have to go to the Land of Grapes.”

  “That sounds nice—and safe,” said Artemis. “Are you sure she doesn’t mean the Land of Apes?”

  Zeus shook his head. “Definitely the Land of Grapes. That much we’re sure about. But I don’t know how safe it will be. She said that the next Olympian we find will be the final one—and then we’ll face our biggest monster ever.”

  Ares waved his spear. “And we’ll be ready!”

  Artemis pushed down the spear with her hand. “Seriously, watch that thing!”

  Zeus looked up at the sky. “We’ve still got daylight left. Chip, which way to the Land of Grapes?”

  A green arrow appeared on Chip’s surface. Zeus looked at the arrow and then at the sky.

  “South,” Zeus said. “Come on, let’s get going!”

  They started walking, heading away from the mountain. As they passed the hot spring, Hades cupped his hands and took a drink.

  “Mmmm,” he said.

  Poseidon punched his arm. “Dude, that’s, like, monster soup now!”

  Hades made a face. “Oh man, I forgot.” Then he shrugged. “Still, it’s delicious!”

  They followed Chip’s arrow and headed south. Hermes flew between Artemis and Aphrodite, trying to get to know the new Olympians. Artemis had a face that matched her twin brother Apollo’s.

  Aphrodite’s long blond hair cascaded down the back of her white dress. She wore a necklace of shells from the sea—the place where the other Olympians had found her. She had bobbed toward them on a wave of bubbles, floating in a huge clam half shell.

  “Hera calls me a Birdbrain. Do you think so too?” Hermes asked. The wings on his sandals fluttered as he floated upward. Then he did a perfect somersault in the air.

  Aphrodite just laughed, creating bubbles that floated up around her. Ares and Hephaestus glared at Hermes.

  Then Apollo strummed the lyre again.

  “A monster trapped us in a tree, the monster fell, and now we’re free!” he sang.

  As soon as he sang the word “fell,” there was a loud rumble—and then a huge crack!

  A large tree came crashing down on the path right in front of them, barely missing Apollo! He yelped and jumped out of the way just in time.

  “You ok, bro?” Zeus asked.

  Apollo picked up his lyre, which he had dropped. “I think so?”

  “What was that?” Hera asked.

  “A wind?” Demeter guessed.

  “It’s not windy at all,” Athena said.

  Zeus looked around. There was no sign of an enemy, or anyone who could have brought the tree down on purpose.

  “Must have just been an old tree,” Zeus guessed. “Let’s walk around it.”

  They followed Zeus, and Athena cast suspicious glances as they passed.

  “The tree’s sap is running green,” she said, eyeing the broken part of the trunk. “It’s not old.”

  “Then it was a freak of nature,” Zeus said, but he did feel a little uneasy. “Let’s keep going.”

  “Yeah, maybe we can take a food break soon,” Hades suggested.

  “Sure, but no monster soup,” Poseidon joked.

  Everyone started laughing and talking again, and the weirdness of the tree was forgotten. As they kept walking, Apollo strummed his lyre for another song.

  “Our new friend Hermes is a really nice guy, he can fly so high up in the sky,” Apollo sang.

  As soon as Apollo finished his verse, Hermes shot up into the air like a rocket!

  “Hey, what’s going ooooooooooooooon!” His voice faded as he shot higher into the clouds.

  Athena ran to Apollo. “Quick, sing about Hermes flying down to the ground!”

  “But I—” Apollo started to protest.

  “Just do it!” Athena yelled, her gray eyes flashing.

  Apollo obeyed. “Hermes flew back to the ground, he landed slowly without a sound.”

  As he sang, Hermes slowly descended from the sky. He landed on two feet.

  “What just happened?” he asked.

  “It’s the lyre,” Athena began. “I think it’s—”

  But Apollo was singing again.

  “I’ve never seen a monster like that, with the body of a horse and the head of a cat.”

  “Apollo, no!” Athena screamed.

  Poof! The Leucrocotta appeared on the path in front of them. It looked confused for a second, and then its eyes narrowed when it saw the Olympians.

  “It’s back!” Aphrodite shrieked.

  Ares shook his fist at the beast. “Back off, ugly! You won’t trap us again!”

  Zeus reached for Bolt again. “Where did that come from?”

  Athena turned to Apollo. “I think your songs are making things real,” she told him. “Sing the monster away! Quick!”

  The Leucrocotta jumped toward the Olympians, his hooves kicking up dust in the path. Apollo started to sing as fast as he could:

  “The monster’s teeth began to gnash, and then it vanished in a flash!”

  Poof! The Leucrocotta disappeared once more.

  Apollo’s hands were shaking on the strings. He turned to Hermes.

  “What kind of lyre is this?” he asked, staring at his instrument.

  Hermes shrugged. “I’m not sure. I just fixed it.”

  “I’ll tell you what it is,” Hera said. “Apollo, you have finally got your magical object!”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Dionysus and the Goat Guys

  Apollo stared down at the golden lyre.

  “That is awesome, dude!” said Poseidon. “So why don’t you look happy?”

  “Because it’s really different now,” Apollo said. “I mean, I used to just make up silly songs as I went. Now I have to be really careful what I sing about.”

  “Well, maybe you could save the magic lyre for when we’re in trouble,” Zeus suggested. “Like I do with Bolt.”

  Apollo nodded thoughtfully. “I guess so. I will miss strumming my lyre all the time, though.”

  “Then just get another wood one like the old one,” Aphrodite said.

  Apollo looked around. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. Who even knows if the next village will have a lyre maker?”

  Aphrodite laughed, and more bubbles floated up around her. “You can make one yourself, silly! Just sing about it.”

  Apollo’s eyes lit up. “I guess I could,” he said. He closed his eyes for a minute. Then he strummed the golden lyre and began to sing. “I wished for a lyre to use as a spare, and one wooden lyre appeared in the air!”

  Poof! A simple lyre made of wood appeared in the air in front of Apollo. He reached out and took it.

  “It’s real,” he said, his eyes filled with disbelief. “This gold lyre really is magic!”

  “Do you think you could maybe sing about roast pork next?” Hades asked, rubbing his belly. “Or spiced apples and figs? I’m really hungry.”

  “I would be careful using that magic lyre if I were you,” Demeter warned. “Maybe it’s like my magic seeds. I can grow anything with them, but once they’re gone, they’re gone. I need to save them for important things.”

  “But none of our other items have run out of magic,” Hades said. He put on his Helm of Darkness and disappeared. “See? Works every time!”

  He took off the helmet and appeared again.

  “You’re right, but I think it’s a good idea for Apollo to be careful,” Hera said. “I mean, being able to make things real just by singing about them is pretty powerful!”

  “I’ll be careful,” Apollo promised. “I
don’t want to magic up another monster again, that’s for sure!”

  Hades frowned. “So no roast pork?”

  “We have plenty of food in our packs,” Demeter said. She handed him a chunk of bread. “Here you go.”

  Hades bit into it. “Stale and crunchy. Just how I like it!”

  “Now that we’ve got the whole lyre thing figured out, we should keep walking,” Zeus said. “We need to get to the Land of Grapes!”

  They walked for hours, taking only a few short breaks. They ate a little and refilled their water jugs from a bubbling stream. Because it was summer, they walked far before the sun started to sink in the sky, and they made camp. Hestia made a roaring campfire and they sat around it, tired and yawning.

  Zeus glanced around the campsite. “I hope this fire doesn’t attract any Cronies.”

  The half-giant warriors were loyal to King Cronus. They had been chasing the Olympians over land and sea ever since Zeus’s journey had begun.

  “You know, it’s funny,” Hera remarked. “Usually by now we’d be running or hiding from Cronies. But we haven’t seen them for a few days.

  “Maybe they’ve given up looking for us,” Poseidon said hopefully.

  “I don’t think so,” Zeus said. “Those Cronies might not be smart, but they’re strong and they do whatever King Cronus tells them to do. And he wants them to capture us!”

  The Olympians were quiet, thinking about this. Then Hera piped up.

  “If Pythia is right, then we won’t be running from the Cronies for much longer,” she said. “We just need to find this last Olympian, battle King Cronus and his armies, and take our place as rulers of Greece.”

  “It’s the whole ‘battle King Cronus and his armies’ part that’s not so easy,” Poseidon pointed out.

  Ares jumped up. “Well, I’m not scared!” he yelled, his red eyes blazing.

  Zeus yawned. “First, we have to find the last Olympian. Let’s get some rest.”

  They slept through the night and headed out again early in the morning. Apollo was playing his not-magical lyre.

  “Who will the last Olympian be? A he or a she? As short as a log, or as tall as a tree?” he sang.

  “Tall as a tree? That sounds more like a Titan than an Olympian,” Hestia remarked.

  They walked all morning, took a rest at noon, and then walked some more.

  “Chip, how much farther?” Zeus asked.

  Chip answered in its own special language, Chip Latin. It was kind of like Pig Latin, only you moved the first letter of each word to the end of the word and added “ip.”

  “E-bip ere-thip y-bip unset-sip,” Chip replied.

  “We’ll be there by sunset,” Zeus repeated. He looked up at the sun, which was still high in the sky. “That’s a long way to go.”

  But Chip was right—the sun was just starting to set when the green fields they were walking through turned into rows and rows of grapevines, growing on wood poles.

  In the distance, Zeus could make out flickering torches. And a pulsing sound could be heard.

  “That sounds like drums,” Poseidon remarked. “Do you think it’s a Crony camp?”

  Hermes flew ahead. “Let me check it out!”

  He zipped forward on his winged sandals. The Olympians waited a few minutes until he came back.

  “No Cronies,” he reported. “It’s some kind of festival! There are some guys drumming and another guy singing.”

  “Is there food?” Hades asked.

  Hermes nodded. “Yup. Someone is selling pork kebobs.”

  “What are we waiting for, then?” Hades asked, and he darted forward.

  The Olympians were all exhausted, but the prospect of music and food propelled them ahead. When they reached the festival, they saw a big crowd of people, young and old, dancing around a wood platform.

  On top of the platform, a kid was singing. He wore a purple tunic and green pants. A ring of ivy crowned the top of his head, and golden-brown hair hung down his back. Behind him, four men with goat horns and hairy goat legs were banging on drums.

  “Ooh ooh, ooh, feel the beat,” the kid sang.

  “Who are those guys?” Zeus wondered out loud.

  “And what kind of song is that?” Apollo asked. “It doesn’t even rhyme!”

  One of the villagers, a young woman, spun around. “It’s Dion and the Goat Guys! Haven’t you heard of them? They’re the best!”

  She danced away from them.

  “Those Goat Guys sure look like monsters,” Athena remarked.

  “Maybe, but they’ve got great moves,” Poseidon said. He started dancing.

  Aphrodite started to twirl. “This is fun!” she exclaimed. She grabbed Hestia with one hand and Demeter with the other, and pulled them into the dance.

  “Wait!” Zeus called out. “We don’t know who these guys are! They could be dangerous!”

  Ares started jumping up and down and thrashing his head from side to side. “Maybe, but I don’t care! This is awesome!”

  Hephaestus tapped the ground with his cane and bopped his head. “Yeah, there’s something really catchy about it. Makes you want to dance.”

  Hermes somersaulted in the air. “Definitely!”

  Hera, Poseidon. Hades, Apollo, and Artemis joined the dance, twirling, jumping, and bopping along to the music. Zeus turned to Athena.

  “I don’t get it. What’s happening?” he asked.

  Athena shrugged. “I’m not sure, it’s just—hey!”

  She looked down at her feet. They were moving to the beat of the music!

  “I’m not doing that!” she said. “It’s like the music is . . . controlling us.”

  “Maybe you, but not me!” Zeus declared.

  “Oh no?” Athena asked. She pointed down to Zeus’s feet.

  Zeus looked down. His feet were moving too! He couldn’t stop them!

  CHAPTER FIVE

  No Autographs!

  We need to stop whatever that guy is doing,” Zeus cried, as he helplessly jumped around.

  “How can we stop him when we can’t stop dancing?” Athena shot back.

  “We don’t have to,” Zeus said. He motioned to the other Olympians. “Come on, let’s get closer to the stage!”

  The others didn’t stop dancing, but they pushed through the crowd. Aphrodite, Hestia, and Demeter twirled and twirled, and Zeus wondered how they weren’t dizzy. Ares kept bopping up and down. Poseidon and Hades kept bumping into each other and giggling.

  Finally, they reached the stage. The boy, Dion, was still singing the same song.

  “Ooh, ooh, ooh! Feel the beat!” he crooned.

  Behind him, the Goat Guys were swaying to the beat as they drummed away.

  “They definitely look like half-goat, half-human monsters,” Athena told Zeus.

  “But what about the kid? He looks normal,” Zeus pointed out.

  “I guess,” Athena said. “But what’s with the ivy crown?”

  Hera danced up to them.

  “Haven’t you guys figured it out?” she asked them. “This Dion kid must be the final Olympian!”

  Zeus and Athena looked at each other in surprise.

  “It makes sense,” Hera continued. “He’s our age. He’s here in the Land of Grapes. And he seems to have some kind of weird power, because I can’t stop dancing!”

  “Of course!” Athena cried.

  Hera grinned. “You’re not the only clever one around here, you know!”

  Suddenly, the drumming stopped.

  “We’re going to take a break!” Dion called out. “Everybody enjoy some delicious grape juice! We’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  The Goat Guys stood up and stretched. Dion hopped off the platform, and Zeus tugged on Dion’s sleeve.

  “Excuse me, can I talk to you, please?” he asked.

  Dion smiled. “Sorry, no autographs. They make my hand cramp up.”

  Hera rolled her eyes. “We don’t want your autograph,” she snapped. “We need to ask you some q
uestions. We think you’re an Olympian.”

  “An Olympian? Like, a god?” he asked. Then he smiled. “I wouldn’t be surprised—I am pretty great onstage,” he boasted. He held out his hand. “I’m Dion.”

  Hera shook it. “And I’m Hera, and this is Zeus, and Athena,” she said. “So what exactly makes you think you’re an Olympian? Being great onstage doesn’t make you a god.”

  “Well, besides my awesome talents I’ve got magic powers,” he said. “Don’t all Olympians have magic powers?”

  Zeus realized that some people in the crowd were listening to the conversation.

  “Olympians?” a girl piped up. “Like the Olympians who are going to save us from King Cronus?”

  Hephaestus responded to the girl. “That’s right! Me and my friends here, we’re Olympians!” he boasted.

  Zeus nudged Hephaestus. “What are you doing?” he whispered. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea for everyone to know what we are!”

  But it was too late.

  “Really? Olympians?” someone else called out.

  Hera shot Hephaestus an annoyed look.

  More people started to crowd around Zeus and the Olympians. Dion frowned.

  “So you guys are Olympians, for real? You don’t look very awesome or magical,” he commented. He nodded at Aphrodite, who was still spinning. Bubbles were floating all around her. “Except maybe for her, I guess.”

  The crowd was starting to ask questions.

  “Did you really battle the Titans?”

  “How are you going to defeat King Cronus?”

  “Is it true that you can make lightning and thunder?”

  Zeus was annoyed. They really needed to talk to Dionysus about joining them. They had traveled all this way to find him.

  Two girls pushed between Zeus and Dion.

  “Are you Zeus? Can we have your autograph?” one asked.

  “Now, now,” Zeus snapped. “Dion, we need to—”

  But he couldn’t see Dion. Then he heard a buzzing sound in his ear, like a bee.

  And then, suddenly, he was standing in the middle of a bunch of grapevines. Other Olympians were standing around him, looking confused.

  Zeus turned around. The stage wasn’t even in sight.

  Out of nowhere, Hades reappeared.