Dionysus and the Land of Beasts

by Tracey West

  “Bro! Where did you go?” Zeus exclaimed.

  Hades held his helmet under his arm.

  “Well, that was weird. You won’t believe what I saw!” he declared.

  CHAPTER SIX

  What a Jerk!

  What did you see?” Zeus asked.

  “It was so weird!” Hades exclaimed.

  “You already said that,” Hera said impatiently. “Can you be more specific?”

  “I got nervous when all those people started crowding around us,” Hades explained. “So I put on my Helm of Darkness and became invisible.”

  “Nice trick, Bro!” Poseidon said.

  Hades nodded. “When I’m wearing the helmet, it’s hard to hear things. But I saw that Dion kid get kind of an upset look on his face. Then he opened his mouth, and I think he was singing.”

  “I don’t remember that,” Zeus said.

  “Well, here’s the thing,” Hades continued. “You got weird all of a sudden.”

  “All of a sudden? Isn’t Ares always weird?” Hephaestus joked, and Ares punched him in the arm.

  “Hey!” Hephaestus protested.

  “Not weird like Ares, I mean weird, like, your eyes all got blank. Then you all started walking into the grape fields. And you just kept walking and walking until you just stopped.”

  Athena frowned. “Maybe . . . maybe his song made us do it?”

  Zeus nodded. “That’s what I’m thinking. Maybe when he sings, he can get people to do what he wants.”

  “That could be the awesome magical power he was talking about,” Hera guessed. “And I bet that crown of ivy he wears is his magical object!”

  “Then that dude is definitely the final Olympian!” Poseidon cried. “Come on, Bro, we’ve got to go get him.”

  “Hold up!” Zeus said. “We’re not going anywhere near that guy right now. He could sing again and make us go away again.”

  “Or make us do something dumb, like pretend to be monkeys,” Hades added.

  Hera shook her head. “Why would he make us act like monkeys?”

  “That’s what I would do if I could control people,” Hades replied. “It would be fun.”

  “Well, he’s not going to get a chance to make us act like monkeys, or bunnies, or whatever, because we’re going to come up with a plan,” Zeus said. “A plan to make sure he can’t use his magic on us again.”

  “He thinks he’s awesome, but he’s so annoying!” Hephaestus complained. “We should just leave him here.”

  “We can’t do that,” Zeus said. “Pythia said we needed to find the last Olympian before we could defeat King Cronus.”

  Hephaestus shrugged. “There are thirteen of us,” he said. “That should be enough.”

  Hermes flew over to Hephaestus and landed next to him. “You guys thought I was an annoying jerk at first, and now you think I’m awesome, don’t you?”

  Hephaestus answered slowly. “Well . . .”

  “Come on, Heff! Everyone thought you were a jerk too, when we first met you, but now we all know that you’re not so bad,” said Poseidon.

  “No, he’s still a jerk!” Ares said, and Hephaestus punched his arm this time.

  “Notice how none of us girls are jerks,” Hera said proudly.

  “And anyway, each of us has our own special talent and magic,” Demeter pointed out. “So we probably can’t defeat King Cronus without Dion and his powers.”

  “Demeter is right,” Zeus said. “Now, we just need a plan to make sure he doesn’t use his powers on us again.”

  Hermes grinned. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it.”

  By now, Zeus knew that Hermes could do just about anything.

  “Fine,” Zeus said, nodding. “Then let’s—”

  “Danger!”

  The Olympians looked up in surprise. A white cloud of mist suddenly appeared in front of the Olympians. As the mist thinned, a woman in a white robe appeared. She had long black hair and wore fogged-up eyeglasses.

  “Pythia!” Zeus yelled. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here to warn you!” she said. “Danger is coming!”

  “What kind of danger?” Zeus asked. “Is it the big monster you told us about last time?”

  Pythia shook her head. “The monster waits, but there is a greater danger first. Now that there are fourteen Olympians, you must—”

  “Um, we don’t exactly have the fourteenth one yet,” Zeus interrupted her. “I mean, we met him, but he doesn’t seem to like us.”

  “You must get him to join you!” Pythia wailed. “A great danger is coming! It will be here soon.”

  “What kind of danger?” Hera asked.

  “A great wave will rise up and swallow you,” Pythia answered.

  “You mean Oceanus?” Poseidon asked. They had battled the great Titan before. “But we’re nowhere near the ocean.”

  “Not Oceanus,” Pythia said. “Not a wave of water. A wave of—”

  The mist began to shimmer and fade.

  “A wave of what?” Zeus asked.

  Pythia disappeared before she could answer.

  “Well, that’s just great, Boltbrain!” Hera yelled. “You let Pythia get away and we don’t know what the danger is!”

  “That doesn’t matter right now,” Zeus said. “We have to get Dion to join us, or we’re all doomed! Come on, everybody!”

  He raced back toward the festival stage, and the other Olympians followed him.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  A Leader Rises

  Zeus found Dion sitting on the edge of the stage, talking with his fans. Dion was eating up the attention, and didn’t notice Hermes hovering above his head. With a quick swoop, Hermes flew down and took off with Dion’s ivy crown.

  “Hey, give that back!” Dion cried, jumping up.

  “Not until we talk to you,” Zeus said, his voice firm.

  “Fine,” Dion huffed, and he waved away the fans. “What do you want?”

  “We need you to join us,” Zeus replied. “You’re one of us. And we need your help to fight King Cronus.”

  Dion shook his head. “Why would I want to do that?” he asked. “I’ve got a sweet gig, touring the countryside with the Goat Guys. I’m the star of this group. Why would I want to share the spotlight with you guys? And fight, besides! I’m a singer, not a fighter.”

  Hera stepped up. “But your crown gives you magic powers. You could help us with those.”

  “Isn’t saving the land from King Cronus more important than singing?” Demeter added.

  “Ha! Maybe for you,” Dion said. “But I’ve got fans who count on me. Now, I’ve talked to you, like you wanted. Please, give me back my crown and let me finish my set.”

  “Fine, if you want your fans to think you’re a coward,” Zeus said darkly. He had to find some way to get through to this kid.

  Dion looked Zeus right in the eyes. “My fans will think whatever I want them to,” he replied.

  Zeus looked up at Hermes and nodded. Hermes dropped the crown back on Dion’s head.

  Hera turned to him. “You heard Pythia, Boltbrain! We need this kid, even if he is an obnoxious side-show performer.”

  “I am not a side-show performer,” Dion protested. “I’m the lead singer of a popular band.”

  At that moment, the ground underneath their feet began to rumble.

  “Flipping fish sticks! What’s happening?” Poseidon yelled.

  “Is it an earthquake?” Hephaestus asked.

  Hera’s blue eyes grew wide. “This is no earthquake.”

  Zeus followed her gaze. Rows and rows of half-giant Cronies had appeared on the horizon in all directions. The loincloth-wearing, weapons-carrying soldiers of King Cronus trampled the grapevines as they stormed across the vineyard. Zeus had never seen so many Cronies in one place—and they surrounded the stage and the festivalgoers on every side. There was nowhere to run.

  This was the danger Pythia had warned them about. Danger like a wave that would swallow them up.
But this was no wave of water—it was a wave of Cronies!

  “What now, Boltbrain?” Hera asked, and even though she was insulting Zeus, she sounded scared.

  Zeus stood, frozen, not sure of what to do.

  Boltbrain. Boltbrain. The words echoed in Zeus’s head, and then it felt like a jolt of electricity shot through his brain.

  Something kicked in—something deep inside him. His eyes scanned the battlefield. All the Olympians and their powers flashed through his mind.

  He knew what to do, but they didn’t have much time.

  “Demeter, use one of your seeds! Grow something to protect the people! Hades, Aphrodite, help her!” he barked.

  The three Olympians ran off without questioning him.

  “Everyone else, on the stage!” Zeus commanded. “Apollo and Artemis, take the south side! Poseidon and Hestia, take the west! Ares, Hephaestus, take the east! Athena, Hera, take the north with me! Hermes, take to the sky! But first, let’s charge up!”

  The Cronies shouted and whooped as they got closer to the stage.

  “Bolt, large!” he cried, and his magical weapon sprang to life in his hand. He held it up in the air.

  “Come on, everyone, hurry!” he yelled. Everyone held up their magical items: Athena’s thread, Hermes’s wand, Hera’s peacock feather, Hestia’s torch, Poseidon’s trident, Ares’s spear, and Hephaestus’s cane. Apollo and Artemis were both gearing up their magical items, too—Apollo, his lyre and Artemis, her gold bow and silver arrows.

  The weapons began to sizzle with energy as power surged through each one of them. The Olympians had learned this trick early on: When they combined their items, each one became supercharged for a short time.

  While the ten Olympians charged their weapons, Demeter, Hades, and Aphrodite tried to gather the frightened festivalgoers together.

  Aphrodite seemed to have a calming effect on them.

  “Come, take my hand,” she said to a young girl, and the girl obeyed. One by one, Aphrodite brought the panicked crowd together, and Hades tried to help her gather them into a group.

  Demeter took one magic seed out of the pouch she wore on her belt. She tossed it on the ground.

  “Circle of thorns!” she yelled.

  The seed immediately sprang to life. Thick stems quickly grew and twisted together, forming a circle around Demeter, Aphrodite, Hades, and the festivalgoers. Sharp thorns spiked out from the stems. The thorny wall grew twice as tall as the tops of their heads.

  Back on the stage, the Olympians took their places as Zeus had ordered, facing the Cronies coming at them from four directions. Dion and his Goat Guys stood in the center of the stage, looking bewildered.

  Zeus felt power surge inside him, power like he’d never felt before. Bolt sizzled in his hand. He stared out at the army of Cronies as the hulking, muscled brutes came closer.

  They’d fought the Cronies before, small groups of them. Mostly, they had run away or hidden from the soldiers. But there was no running or hiding now. This time, they had to fight.

  And win.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The Power of Thirteen

  The Cronies charged forward, their voices sounding like thunder as they erupted in a battle cry.

  Zeus turned to Hera. “Use your peacock feather to find out if more are coming. And if they’ve got any monsters with them.”

  Hera nodded and spoke to the feather, which was glowing with extra energy. She had to speak in rhyme—or close to it—to get the feather to work.

  “Feather, what I need to see is the number of this army, and if they are all Cronies.”

  The feather zipped off faster than a hawk, thanks to the extra Olympian power it held. Zeus turned to Athena.

  “Any chance you’ll use the aegis to turn these guys into stone?” he asked.

  Athena had faced Cronies before, but refused to use the aegis against them. Now she looked out at the advancing army, her face tight with worry.

  “I’d rather not,” she replied. “They’re still half-human, and being turned to stone is a horrible fate—even for a Crony.”

  Zeus nodded. “Use your thread then. Be clever.”

  Athena’s gray eyes sparkled. “I can do that.”

  Zip. The feather flew back into Hera’s hands. She looked into its eye. Images of the Crony army appeared.

  “Six hundred, I think, maybe more,” Hera reported. “I don’t see any Titans or monsters. Just Cronies.”

  “Just six hundred Cronies,” Zeus repeated. “Great, no problem at all.”

  Six hundred Cronies against thirteen Olympians. It seemed impossible. But the Olympians had their magical weapons—and one another.

  The Cronies were close enough to attack.

  “Ooh, look at all those tasty Olympians,” one of them yelled.

  “It’s time for dinner!” another added.

  Zeus held up Bolt and was about to charge forward. To his surprise, Dion pushed past him.

  “Let me show you how it’s done,” he said, and then he began to sing.

  “Ooh ooh, Cronies, get off our back. Turn around, go home, and don’t come back!”

  Would it actually work? Zeus wondered. How awesome would that be if Dion’s powers worked just as well on the advancing Cronies? One song from Dion and this whole thing could be over. . . .

  But the Cronies kept charging.

  Dion looked shocked. He stopped singing and took a step back as they pushed toward the group, totally not affected by the song.

  “Do you have grapes for brains?” Hera snapped at Dion. “The Cronies can’t hear your song. They’re all yelling too loud!”

  The Cronies were close enough that Zeus could see the sweat on their skin. Some had bushy beards. Others had shiny bald heads. Many had swirly designs tattooed on their bodies. They carried spiked clubs, axes, and spears and wore chest armor made of battered metal.

  “Olympians, hold them back!” Zeus commanded.

  Zap! He pointed Bolt at the Cronies closest to the stage. Three Cronies dropped, stunned by Bolt’s power.

  Three down, 597 to go, Zeus thought.

  Hermes flew over the horde of Crony soldiers. He pointed his wand at a Crony.

  “Freeze!” he commanded, and the Crony instantly stopped moving. Hermes grinned.

  “It worked!” he announced, pleased with himself. He pointed his wand at another Crony. “Freeze!”

  Next to Zeus, Athena was waving the Thread of Cleverness like a whip. The thread was so thin it was practically invisible, but it was stronger than the strongest metal.

  “Hiyaaaaaa!” she yelled, wrapping the thread around a Crony right in front of her.

  Thud! The thread brought the Crony to his knees.

  “Hera, I need updates from your feather!” Zeus yelled, as he zapped another Crony.

  “Feather, hurry, please don’t snooze. Fly around and bring me news!” Hera told her feather, and it zipped away again.

  On the west-facing side of the stage, Poseidon and Hestia were keeping the Cronies at bay with their weapons. Powerful blasts of water shot from Poseidon’s trident, knocking back a row of attackers six Cronies deep.

  “It’s bath time, boys!” Poseidon yelled as he blasted another line of Cronies.

  Hestia used her torch carefully—if she wasn’t careful, she could set the whole vineyard on fire, and she knew it. She aimed the flame at the feet of the Cronies, one at a time. The half-giants jumped backward, squealing, as the flames licked at their sandaled feet.

  On the south-facing side of the stage, Artemis shot her silver arrows into the crowd of charging Cronies.

  Three arrows flew. Bam! Bam! Bam! Each arrow hit a chest plate on a Crony. The force knocked the three Cronies backward.

  The arrows returned to Artemis, and she readied another round. Apollo strummed his magical lyre and sang.

  “Artemis aimed, her arrows flew. With every shot, her aim was true.”

  Bam! Bam! Bam! With the extra help from her brother’s song, each
of Artemis’s arrows hit its mark.

  On the east-facing side of the stage, Ares’s red eyes burned like flames. He hurled his spear into the crowd of Cronies approaching him.

  “Knock ’em down, spear!” Ares called out. “All Cronies shall bow at the feet of the mighty Ares!”

  Bam! Bam! Bam! The spear knocked down three Cronies and then returned to Ares’s hand.

  Hephaestus looked at his cane. “All right, cane, I’m not really sure what you can do yet, but please do something to stop those Cronies!”

  He threw the cane into the Cronies like Ares had thrown the spear.

  Bam! Bam! Bam! The cane knocked down three Cronies, then flew back to Hephaestus.

  “Nice!” he said, grinning. Then his eyes narrowed. “There’s more where that came from, Cronies!”

  Hera reported all this to Zeus when the feather returned to her.

  “Good work!” Zeus called out. “Keep it up!”

  Then behind him he heard a strange sound, like an animal cry. He looked behind him to see the four Goat Guys running toward him.

  “Baaaaaaaaaaaa!”

  They leaped off the stage and charged at the Cronies with their horns down. One by one, they rammed into them, pushing them back. They were helping the Olympians!

  All around the stage, the Cronies were dropping. More Cronies came in behind them, but the Olympians—and their new goat friends—pushed them back.

  We can do this, Zeus thought. We can win!

  Then he heard the screams.

  “Help! Help!”

  He turned to see two dozen Cronies hacking away at the fence of thorns that Demeter had grown with her magic seeds. The stems were as thick as the Cronies’ arms, and hacking through them wasn’t easy. But Zeus could see the stems beginning to break, and he knew it would be just a matter of time before the Cronies got through.

  He threw Bolt at some of the Cronies hacking away at the thorns, zapping them. Bolt returned to his hand, but when he looked back to the attacking Cronies, he saw one had reached the stage and was about to grab his foot.

  Zap! Zeus quickly blasted him back, but more were still coming. He couldn’t help Athena defend the north side of the stage and help Demeter and the others at the same time. Maybe he could send someone. . . .