Gabriel nodded. “Until the christening.” He met their gazes and their unspoken concern that they might find themselves at another graveside service rather than a church blessing.
* * *
Two nights after he buried Savannah, Jeremy paced his room. Sleep eluded him, and memories of Savannah and Melinda tormented him every time he shut his eyes. He slipped out of the room to wander the halls of his uncle’s large house, his stockinged feet quiet as he walked up and down the hallways.
Unthinkingly he walked down the wing where his son struggled for life. He paused outside the door and was on the verge of continuing his middle-of-the-night ramble when he heard a baby’s squeal. He clutched a hand at his heart and eased open the door. The nurse, immediately alerted to his presence, relaxed when she saw who entered the room.
He tiptoed to his son’s crib and peered down. He stood rigidly a moment as he watched him breathe, and then he held out a trembling hand to touch his downy black hair. “Hello, my love,” he whispered as his voice thickened with tears. “For I do love you.”
Breandan turned his head at the sound of his father’s voice and looked at him through eyes barely open. Breandan kicked his legs a few times and then gave another squeal. Jeremy ran a finger over a chubby cheek and marveled at him. Raising dazed eyes, he looked at the nurse. “He seems …”
“Better,” she said with a tired smile. “I believe he will be fine.”
Jeremy collapsed onto the chair beside the crib and dropped his head down as a sob burst forth. “Fine,” he whispered. “I never thought such a simple word could mean so much.”
He sat there, watching as his son was lifted from the crib and brought behind a privacy curtain to be nursed. After Breandan was changed and burped, he was returned to the crib, where he was fast asleep. “Hello again,” he whispered.
Jeremy stared at his son, watching him sleep, unaware of the time slipping by. He started as a hand clasped him on his shoulder and met the worried gaze of his father-in-law. “Sir,” he whispered.
Martin pushed on his shoulder so that he remained seated and pulled another chair beside Jeremy. “I often come here in the middle of the night when I am unable to sleep. I didn’t expect to find you here.”
Jeremy traced a circle on the baby’s blanket near Breandan’s shoulder. “I … I know. I’ve been a horrible father,” he whispered.
Martin made a sound of disagreement in his throat. “You have not. You’ve needed time to mourn.” He settled into his chair. “He seems more peaceful tonight.”
“The nurse said she thinks he will be all right.” His fingers clamped down on the mattress. “I couldn’t … I couldn’t watch him die too.”
Martin gripped his shoulder. “I know. I understand. And I do not blame you, Jeremy.”
Jeremy shook his head. “You should. If I had never brought your daughter and your granddaughter here, they would still be alive. They’d be healthy and well in Missoula.”
Martin sighed. “You know that Savannah would most likely have died in childbirth if she hadn’t had that surgery.” He waited for Jeremy to give a small nod, acknowledging his words. “You know that the Spanish flu is moving west. It’s probably already arrived in Montana by now. No place will be safe, Jeremy.”
“I brought them to danger.” He lowered his head as he let out a deep breath.
“Yes, you did. Unwittingly.” Martin stared at his newborn grandson a moment. “I will never be angry with you, Jeremy. I know how much you loved Savannah. How much you would have sacrificed for her.”
“I blame myself.”
“I know, son,” he said. “I know.”
They sat in silence, watching as little Breandan slept, each passing moment giving them hope.
Chapter 19
Aidan sat in his study, reading the newspaper, as a fire crackled in the grate on a late October morning. Scattered lamps were lit around his dark paneled office, and he sat in a comfortable chair near the fire rather than behind his desk. He frowned as he focused on the report of the sinking of the steamer Princess Sophia near Juneau, Alaska. His jaw ticked at the firsthand reports from survivors and rescuers. He turned toward the door as it opened and lowered the paper. “Zee,” he said with a broad smile. He rose to embrace her. “It has been far too long since I’ve seen you.”
She squeezed her arms around his back and then sat in the other chair in front of the fire. She smiled as she realized Teddy’s study was remarkably similar to her father’s. “I was here just three days ago.” She grinned as her father chuckled. “How are things?”
He picked up the paper again. “It appears the American Expeditionary Force finally had success in France. I hope the Germans will see sense and realize they will not win with our added numbers to the Allied troops.” He tapped at the front page of the paper. “We’ve broken through the Argonne Forest and are pushing forward past their lines.”
She nodded. “Finally something other than carnage in that horrible stalemate.” She shivered. “What else?”
“Over 350 died in Alaska in a maritime accident. A steamer ran into a reef.”
“Oh, how tragic,” Zylphia gasped. “All of my focus is on the War, and yet there is tragedy everywhere.”
Her father squeezed her hand, his mouth in a grimace.
“How is Jeremy?”
Aidan focused on his daughter. “Hurting. I think he will never fully recover, but Breandan is thriving. That brings Jeremy great comfort.”
Zylphia let out a sigh of relief. “I had feared it would be like with Savannah, where she appeared to improve and then worsened again. I feared Breandan would die too.”
Aidan shook his head. “No, he truly seems better and is a wonderful baby.” He gave a chagrined smile. “Although all babies are wonderful. The christening will be in a few weeks.”
She bit her lip, her expression worried as she met her father’s concerned gaze. “I … I’m uncertain what I should do, and I want your advice. I’ve already spoken with Teddy, but I want your opinion too.” At his nod, she sighed. “Before Savannah died, I did a drawing of Savannah, Breandan and Jeremy. I don’t tend to do portraits, but Jeremy had asked me to do one of them as a family.”
Her father tilted his head as she squirmed with unease. “Now you are uncertain if you should complete the commission he requested?”
“No. I painted it. Before I knew she died.” She met her father’s shocked look. “I don’t know if I should give it to him.”
Aidan sat back in his chair, his gaze remote as though reliving distant events. “It is a pain that you believe is beyond bearing. Losing a spouse, especially a beloved one. And then to lose the child too …” He shook his head, the echoes of just such losses reflected in his eyes. “I would have cherished any such painting of my first wife and child. A reminder that what I’d had wasn’t a dream.”
“Oh, Father,” Zylphia breathed as she clasped his hand. “I don’t mean to cause you pain.”
“You don’t, Zee. You bring me joy and hope and love. Never doubt that.” He ran a hand over his daughter’s raven hair. “And you will bring that to Jeremy too, when he sees that painting.” He sobered. “Although I would give it to him privately. I fear he may need time alone with it as he continues to mourn.”
She sniffled and nodded. “Thank you, Father. Teddy said much the same, although I was thinking of waiting a year or two to give it to him.”
“No, my darling daughter, give it to him now.” He sighed and stared into the fire.
“What bothers you, Father?”
He sobered. “I fear that Gabriel will leave before the christening. He is worried about Clarissa and his children in Montana, now that the influenza is heading west.”
“I shouldn’t want to chase that dreaded disease across the country, but I can understand his desire to be with his family.” She shared a long look with her father. “Especially after seeing how Jeremy has suffered.” After a moment she frowned. “Will Lucas return with him?”
Zylphia frowned. “Do you think he truly wants the christening here?”
Aidan shook his head. “I think, at this moment, he doesn’t care much about anything, except his son. He’s constantly in the room I set up as a nursery, and he rarely speaks at dinner.” Aidan nodded as though making a silent decision. “I will speak with him to ensure this is what he wants.”
Zylphia rose, kissed her father on his forehead and left to return home.
* * *
Gabriel clapped Richard on the back before being ushered into the three-story home Richard owned in Dorchester. He and Florence now lived on the bottom two floors while they rented the third. Rather than lead Gabriel into the living room, Richard brought his eldest brother to the large kitchen at the rear of the house, where Florence moved with grace as she prepared dinner.
“Flo,” Gabriel said, opening his arms as she squealed and threw herself into them. “I can’t believe it’s been five years since I’ve seen you.” He backed her away and looked at her. “You look wonderful.”
She gripped his arm and squeezed. “And you’re as charming as any McLeod.” She shared a smile with her husband. “I’m so glad you’re finally visiting and that you can meet all our children at last.”
Gabriel nodded. “I hate that they are already so grown up and have no memories of me.”
Richard chuckled. “Oh, they have memories of you, Gabe. I’ve told them plenty of stories about our antics when we were younger. About how we tormented our cousins.” He shared an amused smile with his brother and then turned as his boys paraded in, from tallest to shortest. “Ian, Victor, Thomas, Gideon and Calvin, this is your uncle Gabriel.”
Gabriel smiled. “Hello, boys.” He grunted when they attacked him like players in a rugby scrum, as they all tried to hug him at once, and he tumbled to the ground. “You are fine McLeods,” he said as he laughed.
“Come play with us like Zee does,” Gideon said as he tugged on Gabriel’s hand.
“Boys, Uncle Gabriel is here to visit all of us,” Florence said. “Please allow him to stand, and apologize for acting like a herd of wild animals.”
Gabriel rose and patted them on their heads. “You’ve fine spirits. I can’t wait for you to meet your cousins.” He focused on Calvin. “I think you and Billy would get into many adventures.”
Calvin faced his parents. “Can we travel to Montana? Please?”
“It’s cruel we don’t know our cousins,” the eldest, Ian, said.
Richard cast a quick glare at Gabriel and then shook his head at his children. “Not right now. You’ve already missed enough school due to the influenza, and you must finish this year before we have any discussion of trips.” He ignored their groaning and watched them file out of the room to finish homework before dinner.
Gabriel sat, accepting a cup of tea from Florence. Soon he held baby Agnes in his arms, and he rocked her as she mewled. “There, there, little love. No need to make a fuss.”
He smiled at his brother and Florence. “You don’t know what it means to me to sit here in your kitchen and to see that your life is as I had imagined it. Chaotic and filled with contentment, surrounded by your children.” His eyes glistened as he stared at his brother.
Richard nodded. “We hate that we are so far away from you and Jeremy.” He took a sip of tea and then turned to Florence and kissed her cheek. “But our home is here. Our businesses are here.”
Gabriel spoke to include Florence. “Richard showed me around his blacksmith shops yesterday, and I couldn’t be prouder of all that he’s accomplished. And you, Florence, have created a wonderful home for your family.”
Florence watched Gabriel with curiosity. “I still have trouble believing you like me,” she murmured, “after I misled you and your brothers about my acquaintance with your cousin Henry Masterson and your aunt Masterson.”
“Of course I like you,” he said, clasping her hand a moment. “I was a stubborn idiot, and I’m only thankful that my brother was not as blinded by his animosity as I was.” He winked at her. “Besides, I’ve come to realize that my cousin will manipulate and hurt anyone he can to harm me. I’m glad that you and Richard overcame what he and his mother attempted to do.” He smiled at her. “What do you do for yourself?” He saw her confused look. “Clarissa works at the library with her friend Hester. I think, if Rissa were solely at home, she’d slowly go mad for lack of adult conversation and friendship. What do you do, Flo?”
“I’m at home. But I’ll try to find something that is just for me. I’ve finally agreed to Richard’s badgering to hire someone to help me with the children a few days a week.”
“Good,” Gabe said with a nod, smiling at her news.
Richard frowned and focused on Gabriel. “What did you mean about the Mastersons, Gabe? I know what Henry did to Patrick’s wife. What more has he done?”
Gabriel shook his head with frustration and then cooed to the baby who had become restless with his agitation. “He wants to harm Colin for some reason. Clarissa thinks Mrs. Smythe is behind it, but it’s impossible to know their motives.” He shrugged. “I had to leave the day after I saw him at a botched wedding in Missoula.” He laughed as his eyes lit while remembering the scene of Colin marching up the aisle. He told Richard and Florence an abbreviated version of that day’s events and then of Gabriel’s precipitous departure the next day. “I saw Henry on the train, but it’s always a chess match, where neither of us reveals more than we have to.”
Florence frowned. “Why should Henry have this much animosity toward you?”
“They lost almost everything in the Panic of 1907, and I know he resents Uncle Aidan. The Mastersons always took comfort in the fact that the McLeods were worthless nobodies, but that’s not the case anymore.” He shook his head with frustration.
“It’s too much to hope he’d grow up and leave us in peace,” Richard said.
Gabriel shook his head. “He’d never be that generous.” Gabriel kissed Agnes’s head.
“If it’s any consolation, I’ve had no contact with Mrs. Masterson in years,” Richard said. “She came by the blacksmith shop a few times after I bought it, preening about me beggaring myself.” He shook his head. “I never saw her again.”
“I wonder if she’s still alive,” Gabriel mused and then shrugged and shared a long look filled with memories with his brother. “I would not mourn her.”
“Oh, I’m sure she’s alive,” Florence said. “I’m sure she’s filling that cousin of yours with venom so he keeps his hatred for you fresh.”
Gabriel sighed as he stretched his legs in front of him with baby Agnes on his chest. “I wonder what happened to cousin Nicholas?”
Richard shrugged. “I have no idea.”
Gabriel smiled as his gaze became distant. “All this talk only makes me think about Clarissa and the children. I hate being so far away. I don’t know how they fare.”
Richard’s frown deepened. “You’re leaving,” he whispered. “It’s why you’re here.”
Gabriel nuzzled his niece’s forehead. “Yes. I have to return home. There’s every possibility that Colin needs my help. And I must be there with Clarissa in case the influenza strikes Missoula. I cannot leave her to face such a calamity alone.”
Florence shook her head. “Of course not. Not when you know what it is like to lose a child. The fear alone is …” She shook her head again and let out a long breath, reaching to grab Richard’s hand. She only calmed as he squeezed it and stroked his strong fingers over hers.
Richard sat in angry silence. “I can’t blame you for going, but I’m damn sorry. I’ll miss you. I hate living so far apart.”
Gabriel smiled at his brother. “I do too.”
Florence looked at Gabriel
. “Let’s make a promise. When the amendment passes, and women are granted the right to vote, we will gather as a family. We will rejoice together.”
Gabriel smiled. “I already support all that Clarissa does, but now I will be an even more ardent proponent.” He kissed his niece’s head and shared a rueful grin with his brother. “I hope it is soon.”
* * *
Perry stood in the hallway outside the small room decorated with white and yellow roses. A beautiful song played on the piano, but he could not decipher if Lucas or Parthena played. After taking another deep breath, he rolled his shoulders as he attempted to free himself of tension. He stiffened as a hand slapped him on the shoulder.
“You’ll be fine. Zee’s with her, and she’ll be here soon,” Teddy said with an understanding smile.
“I have this sense that something will go wrong.” Perry shook his head with embarrassment.
Teddy laughed. “Something probably will, but that’s what makes life enjoyable. Embrace the unknown, Perry. It’s what I’ve learned to do with Zee, and it’s made life more rewarding.” He turned as he heard his name called from the top of the stairs. “That’s my cue.” He pushed at Perry until he stood in front of the small crowd that had gathered.
Lucas rose from the piano and stood beside Perry after shaking his hand and clapping him on his back. Aidan, Delia, Morgan and Sophronia made up the intimate group who had gathered to see Perry’s wedding.
The minister cleared his throat, and then Parthena entered the small living room. She winked at Perry and then skirted the chairs and sat at the piano to play gentle music. Zylphia took slow measured steps as she approached the makeshift altar in a light-blue dress that highlighted her blue eyes and raven hair. Perry barely noticed her, his gaze riveted on Rowena at the doorway. She stood alone, her shoulders back as she waited for Parthena to change the music.
Abiding Love: Banished Saga, Book Eight Page 37
