She handed a cup of coffee to Freddie, who stared at it as if he’d never seen the like before. His hand trembled. He was going to drop the cup. Before he could do so, Ellie took it off him and put it on the table beside him.
Was that a faint cry from upstairs? She was needed up there, looking after the invalids, having it out with Mikey and getting on with things. She did not, repeat not, want to listen to this man drivelling on about something in the past which he couldn’t have prevented, anyway.
She said, ‘Now, Freddie; calm down. Sit down and explain yourself in words of one syllable.’
This worked, in as much as he sat down for two seconds, but sprang up again almost immediately. ‘Evan said everyone thinks May gave Anita the pills that killed her. He thinks May worked on Anita to commit suicide because I’d got fed up with … and she thought I was giving her encouragement to … to …’ He gagged.
Was he going to be sick? Oh dear! Understandable, but difficult to clean the carpet afterwards, and the smell did tend to linger. ‘Dear Freddie, please sit down. Count to twenty, very slowly. Backwards. Twenty … nineteen …’
He sat, nodded his head as he counted. At least that had shut him up for a moment.
She said, ‘Now, drink your coffee and eat a biscuit. That’s what I’m going to do, too. After we’ve drunk our coffee and eaten our biscuits, we will be calm enough to discuss the matter in rational fashion.’
She wondered at herself, giving orders like this, but it seemed to work. He took a sip or two of coffee. Ate a corner of a biscuit. A slurp of coffee. The whole of one biscuit. He took another. Sat back in his chair.
‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘I was hungry. I didn’t fancy having any breakfast. I told the workmen to stop work on the lights. I said I’d pay them for their time, but that I didn’t want … Not now. It’s not right.’
Ellie felt like patting him on the head and saying, ‘Good boy.’ She said, ‘Perhaps you could switch them on just for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.’
He was hanging on her every word. ‘Yes. You’re right. That would be the thing to do. Anita would like that.’ A shuddering sigh. ‘Would have liked that. So, you don’t think I encouraged May to help Anita kill herself, do you? Because it never crossed my mind.’
‘No, of course not.’
He bowed his head over his cup.
Silence.
Ellie worked it out. Should she speak the words, or pretend she didn’t know what he was thinking? Correction, what he had thought?
Dear Lord, tell me what to do. If I’m mistaken and I mention my suspicion, he’ll be even more distressed than he is now. Is it better to pretend I don’t know? Because I really don’t know for sure, do I?
She said, as gently as she could, ‘Anita was the strong one, wasn’t she?’
He nodded.
‘When you heard that the cancer had returned, you must have felt dreadful, for her and for yourself. Watching someone you love gradually slipping away is a terrible thing. I know, because I had to watch my first husband die.’
His lips moved, but he did not speak.
‘The bad news must have crashed in on you like a giant wave. A tsunami. You must have wondered how you were going to cope, how you could support her through it all, knowing there was no hope. Then practical issues had to raise their head. How long was it going to take? Did you need to alter the household arrangements? Get in Macmillan nurses?’
He nodded.
‘Of course you thought first of her; but you also had to think of yourself. How to keep cheerful, how to make things easier for her, and how to keep going yourself. And yes, at some point you must have wondered what the future was going to be like without her.’
He put his head in his hands. ‘Yes.’
‘Did you know how long it was likely to be?’
‘The doctors said that if she refused more treatment, it might only be a matter of weeks. If she had accepted the treatment, it would have prolonged her life for, maybe, six months.’
‘How did you feel about that?’
‘She said straight away that she didn’t want any more treatment. She even laughed when she said it. She wasn’t afraid to die. I didn’t know what I felt about it. I backed her up. Whatever she wanted was all right by me.’
‘You didn’t think of asking for help with the extra nursing, from May, from your sister, from anybody?’
‘We could have had the Macmillan nurses come in at night, but she said she didn’t want them yet. I asked her if she wanted anyone else during the day, but she said she didn’t. Just me. We knew it wouldn’t be long, and I could cope. I thought, take it day by day. Every time I thought of the future without her, I went blank. And then I’d say to myself, “Time enough to think about that later.”’
‘Anita, on the other hand, looked at the situation and, rightly or wrongly, did something about it.’
‘I did suspect … or not exactly suspect … But, at the back of my mind, we knew one another so well, you see, that I thought … Which was why I checked her medication before I went off for the weekend.’
‘What more could you have done?’
TWELVE
Freddie looked at Ellie in despair. ‘I should have had it out in the open. I should have got her antidepressants.’ He straightened up. ‘I should have got the sleeping pills for her.’
‘She didn’t ask you to do so, did she?’
He shook his head.
‘She didn’t want you to bear any guilt in this. She arranged that you would be away.’
He was silent for a while. Eventually, he nodded. ‘I hear what you’re saying, and of course you’re right. I still wonder if May helped her, thinking that perhaps I’d turn to her when Anita had gone.’
‘I don’t think it’s so much a question of your turning to her, as of her trying to …’ Ellie hesitated. It had just occurred to her that it might never have entered May’s head that Freddie would turn to her on the rebound. Perhaps she was only being kind-hearted and helpful.
Freddie said, ‘You should hear what my sister called May. “Avaricious, man-eating, husband-stealing whore.” I didn’t know what to say.’
‘Did she say all that on the phone to May? Or to her face?’
A reluctant grin. ‘May came round to see that I’d eaten my breakfast, but I was hardly up and in my right mind. Must confess, had a tot or two of spirits when visiting Evan, and then had one or two more last night, what with my sister going on at me and, well, everything. I ought to have told my sister to shut up and not talk to May like that, but I didn’t. I’m ashamed that I didn’t. May didn’t deserve that. At least, I don’t think she did. What I mean is, if she did help Anita to die … I’ve asked myself how I’d feel about it if she did, and it’s odd. I don’t feel anything. Nothing at all.’
Shock? Yes.
Ellie said, ‘Your sister is a harridan. Evan has a fertile imagination. It may well have crossed May’s mind that you could do with a shoulder to cry on, but it may be no more than kindness on her part. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you want her to step further into your life.’
‘No, I don’t. She’s a nice enough woman in her way but I’ve never thought of her like that. She’s not my type. And what’s more …’ He looked pleadingly at Ellie.
She sighed. ‘What’s more, you now find her embarrassing and wonder how you can get rid of her. You’d like to give her the sack, but what reason could you give? Unless, of course, you find out that it was she who provided your wife with the means to end her life.’
He reddened. ‘Yes.’
‘That’s why you want me to discover what happened.’
‘Yes. Will you?’
Ellie didn’t know how to refuse him, for refuse him she must. She turned her head to the door. Was that Thomas calling for her? Rose must not go climbing those stairs again. Then she must get Mikey on his own and shake the truth out of him and … Well, she didn’t really want to shake Mikey … Well, actually she did want to d
o just that, but …
She got to her feet, thinking this would be a good enough hint to Freddie to get himself moving. But he didn’t. She picked up the daily papers which lay around and tidied them into a heap. She put the dirty cups and saucers – including one left over from the previous day which was on the floor by Thomas’s big chair – and put them on the tray.
The flowers in the vase on the table by the window had had it. She put the vase on the tray, too. She said, ‘Back in a minute,’ and took the lot out to the kitchen. Rose was crooning along to the radio, while sitting in her big chair and reading the local paper.
Ellie dumped the dead flowers and put the vase and dirty cups into the dishwasher.
Rose said, ‘The weather forecast’s not good. This rain’s with us for the rest of the week.’
‘Mm,’ said Ellie. ‘Don’t try those stairs again, Rose.’
‘Trust me.’
Ellie returned to the sitting room. Freddie was making no move to leave. Should she start dusting around him? Bring out the vacuum cleaner? He was the sort who’d probably lift his feet and let her hoover around him.
He said, ‘I’m sorry to take up so much of your time. I realize I’m procrastinating. The funeral’s on Monday, at noon at the church, and then on to the crematorium. Will you come? An ancient uncle arrived this morning, and there’s a cousin to be picked up at the airport this afternoon. My sister tries to marshal us all as if we were squaddies and she’s the sergeant major. I’ll have to go back, try to keep the peace.’
He tried on a smile. It looked as if it hurt. ‘I’m not usually like this, you know. I run a successful business. I make decisions, snap, snap, snap. I think ahead, I plan. I choose my staff with care, and I’ve assembled a good team. We’re weather-ing the economic storm, more than holding our own. I don’t usually go to pieces.’
‘No,’ said Ellie, pleased to see another side of him.
He squared his shoulders. ‘The only thing I have to reproach myself with … No, I don’t think I did encourage May in any way. I really don’t think I did. But I’m wondering if she misinterpreted, if I was in any way to blame for her actions. I would find that hard to live with.’
Handle with care. ‘It is possible she may have misinterpreted something you said or did, but that doesn’t mean she acted upon it. She may be as innocent as you.’
‘How innocent am I, who did let the thought cross my mind that I hoped Anita wouldn’t last too long, not for her sake but for my own?’
‘Don’t beat yourself up. If that thought did cross your mind, then you dismissed it.’
‘Sensible little woman, aren’t you?’ He blinked. ‘You’re right, of course. Have to tie a knot and move on, as my mother always used to say when we fell from grace. I think you’re right. I’ll pop in to the Abbey, make my confession. Then back to work!’
The door slithered open, and in marched Midge. He made straight for Ellie, sat down in front of her and treated her to a giant yawn.
‘Feeding time,’ said Ellie, looking at the door and wondering if Midge had opened it by himself or not. He was capable of opening any door with a proper handle rather than a knob. But Midge and Mikey were inseparable nowadays. Suppose Mikey had come downstairs looking for help for Vera, but had stopped short of entering the room when he heard Freddie’s voice?
She looked at her wrist. Where on earth had her watch got to? She really must look for it when she’d a spare minute. She got to her feet. ‘Your coat’s in the hall.’
That got him moving.
Mikey was not in the hall. A whisper of air as the door to the kitchen quarters closed.
That door was always kept open nowadays. Had he gone to look for Rose?
She said, ‘Did Anita leave a message for you?’
‘She did. “Sorry” and “I love you”. A typical suicide note, apparently.’
‘I wondered, have you looked to see if there might be an empty box in the waste-paper bin with a pharmacist’s name on it? Or the name of the person who bought the sleeping tablets?’
He brightened up. ‘That’s an idea. I’ll look. Thank you,’ said Freddie, offering his hand to shake. ‘I feel so much better after talking to you. Evan said you’re good with people, and he’s right.’ He swung on his car coat and, passing the mirror over the hall table, exclaimed, ‘I need a shower and a change of clothes. Wish me luck with my sister.’
He opened the front door and vanished into the rain.
The door to the kitchen quarters opened. Mikey, wearing a sweater, jeans and unlaced trainers. Fully awake and with the heel of a loaf in his hand. No temperature.
His mouth full, he gestured her to follow him up the stairs. So who was in need of her services? Into the master bedroom he went, still chewing. He pointed to the bed, which lacked an occupant. Thomas had spilt his lemonade all over it. Thomas was in the bathroom; she could hear him growling to himself as he showered.
‘Are you all right, Thomas?’
‘I’m a clumsy brute. Spilt the lemonade all over myself. Is there any more where that came from?’
‘I’ll see what I can do.’ Bother. ‘I’ll change the bed. Throw your dirty pyjamas out, will you?’
She looked around for Mikey to see if he’d help her, but he’d vanished. Of course. She stripped the bed, took the linen down the stairs to dump in the washing machine, turned it on, and rousted out some clean sheets. She’d look for Mikey after she’d got Thomas back into bed again.
Friday noon
There wasn’t anything in the local paper about Petra falling down the stairs and killing herself. You’d have thought it would have been given a couple of inches of space. Single parent mother of … whatever it was the child was called … long-term partner of …? Names escaped her nowadays.
Perhaps it had happened before the paper was put to bed – if that was the right word for it – and it would be in next week’s edition. An upsetting episode, but the girl had brought it on herself, hadn’t she?
Evan, now. She’d felt quite annoyed with him because he’d a lot to live for, what with a new wife, who was capable of looking after the office for him while he stopped at home, and a baby boy coming. But no, all he could do was whine about his aches and pains.
He never gave a thought to her problems. Wasn’t that just like a man?
To think how Evan used to stride around the place, telling everyone what to do, boasting about his successes … Yes, he’d been a bit of a braggart, even her own dear husband had used to say so.
She did wonder if he were hitting the bottle a little too hard, because almost the first thing he asked her to do was to pour him out a whisky, no ice, no water. He’d sworn it was his first drink of the day, and he did calm down a lot afterwards. He’d even told her a joke or two, admittedly not in good taste.
If he asked her to help him she supposed she would have to do so, but this must be the last time. She was getting too old and tired for it, nowadays.
Friday noon
Housebound, that’s what she was. Invalids here, invalids there. Everywhere she looked were invalids. Well, to be accurate, there were only two of them, but neither was fit to get out of bed, and Thomas – although contrite about his accident with the lemonade – was going to need some serious nursing if she were any judge of the matter.
Vera was over the worst of it, but as weak as the proverbial kitten. She couldn’t stand for more than two seconds without folding back on to her bed.
Mikey was like a silverfish. One moment he was in plain sight, and the next he’d whisked himself away. She supposed it was a good thing that he hadn’t got flu, but when she laid hands on him, she’d … Well, she wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but he’d be sorry he ever missed school.
Now, should she ring his teacher to see if there were any worksheets he could be doing while he was at home, or should she send him back to school? Back to school. Definitely. She’d make him go back. Tomorrow.
No, wait a minute, tomorrow was Saturday.<
br />
Saturday meant the weekend. She needed to do a serious shop for the weekend. She really would have to go online and do it as soon as she had a free moment. She didn’t like shopping online. She was sure to make a mistake.
Perhaps Mikey would do it for her? If she could catch him.
Up and down the stairs we go. There were no lemons left for the invalids’ drinks, and she couldn’t really leave the house long enough to get some. If she ordered them online, they wouldn’t come till tomorrow. Who could she get to run to the shops for her?
And the rain came down, and the floods came up … Well, almost. There were puddles on the lawn, and puddles in the drive. Passing cars in the road went swishing through yet more puddles. Anyone for Noah’s Ark?
Passing through the hall, she heard the phone ring in a muted, desperate way. She ignored it. Into the kitchen she went to check on Rose and root around in the freezer for some oranges, for any kind of fruit. Mikey was sitting at the table, eating an apple and using his mother’s laptop.
Rose said, ‘I’m telling him what we need and he’s ordering it for us online. I’ve got fruit and spreadable butter and some greens; two lots of frozen would be best. We need tomatoes, not in tins. Cereals, his kind and ours. Oh, and tomatoes in tins. Now, from the bakery section, what about two wholemeal loaves, sliced if they have them? Some biscuits, chocolate and shortbread. Put down some iced buns or chocolate muffins for yourself, Mikey. We’re out of balsamic vinegar and cooking oil, too. Meat next. What shall we have, Ellie?’
‘A large chicken, some mince, some lamb chops and some sliced ham for the weekend.’ Ellie tried to remember what they usually ordered. More meat, veg and fruit. More of everything. She did her best to make up the list for Mikey, concluding, ‘We also need two packets of throat pastilles, some aspirin and a couple of big boxes of tissues, man size. Let me see what you’ve ordered, Mikey.’
He showed her, crunching away at his apple. It looked all right to her. She was pleased to see he’d added basics like potatoes and cat food. Mikey was even better at this than Vera.
Murder With Mercy Page 15
