“But why? Why, if you’re not even really here with me?”
“I am here. I can’t be with you more than I am right now.” His gazed shifted out to everyone else dancing around us. “This probably isn’t the best place to get into it.”
“There’s never a good time to talk, not with everything going on here. I just want to know what’s going on with us.” I looked up into his dark eyes. “Is there even an us?”
He took a fortifying breath. “I came back for you because you’re my first thought in the morning. Because you push yourself to be better, and in the process, you push everyone else around you to be better. You make everything better.
“You are far more courageous and stronger than anyone I’ve ever known,” he continued. “And I never thought you’d ever want anything to do with me. I was certain I’d never be good enough for you.
“But when we kissed for the first time, under the lights of the aurora borealis, everything I’d ever felt about you was proven true,” Ridley finished. “I came back for you because you’re all I’ve ever wanted or needed, because I want to be with you always.”
For a moment I was too stunned to say anything. I just stared up at him, my mouth hanging open and my heart pounding in my chest.
“You have me,” I said simply. “You’ll always have me.”
His lips turned up slowly into a smile, looking both relieved and amazed. Then he leaned in, and I wrapped my arms more tightly around him. His lips had just brushed up against mine when I heard shouting over the music.
The orchestra finally stopped, and I heard Baltsar shouting, “Ridley! King Mikko!”
“What’s going on?” Ridley pulled away from me, but kept his hand around mine. His eyes scanned the crowd, until it parted enough for us to see Mikko standing a few feet away with Linnea at his side.
Baltsar burst through the crowd, standing in the clearing between Ridley and Mikko. “There’s been an attack on our men walking the perimeter. Two were seriously injured, and one was killed. We need a medic, and we need to make sure the area’s secure.”
“Mikko, you go with Ridley and get the men together to make sure we’re safe,” Linnea said. “I’ll get the medic.”
Ridley let go of my hand and started hurrying toward Baltsar.
“Who was hurt?” I asked, and it was hard to be heard over the distraught murmurings of the ballroom. I took off my mask and started pushing my way through the crowd, but they didn’t part for me the way they had before. “Baltsar, what men were attacked?”
“A couple new recruits.” He paused long enough to look back at me. “And Konstantin Black.”
FIFTY-TWO
expiry
In the chaos that followed, I had to remind myself to breathe.
Baltsar had said Konstantin’s name, then had run off, and I stayed where I was as everyone rushed around me. I didn’t know what to do, where I should be, and I looked around, hoping for direction.
Tilda had started commanding the Skojare guards, sending them to various posts around the palace so that any possible entrance would be protected. Marksinna Lisbet took control of the civilians who remained in the ballroom, assuring them that everything would be all right.
“Bryn.” Tilda put her hand on my shoulder, momentarily pausing from giving orders. I turned to her, and she had a knowing look in her smoky eyes. She could always see through me, even when everything had gone mad.
“We’ve got this,” she said simply. “Go.”
I dropped my mask, letting it fall to the floor, and then I was running, grabbing up the length of the gown and grateful that the fabric flowed enough to allow me to move as fast as I wanted to. I didn’t know where I was going, not at first, but I couldn’t slow down. I raced through the soldiers that crowded the halls.
Finally I spotted Linnea, dragging a medic by the hand as she ran in her own sparkly blue gown. She was way at the other end of the hall from me, rushing toward the south wing of the palace, but I could just see her platinum curls bouncing, so I followed them.
I managed to get to the room just after Linnea and the medic had arrived, and I stood in the doorway. It was a small room on the main floor, with a window that showed the stars reflecting on the lake outside. Two twin beds were in the room, but Linnea and the medic were blocking my view so I could only see the legs of the occupants.
And blood. Blood stained the white sheets and left a mess on the floor.
Ridley was already at work caring for the men before Linnea arrived. He’d taken off his white jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, and his forearms were stained red.
The medic started to take over, and Linnea tried to tell the wounded that everything would be alright.
“Dammit!” Konstantin growled, and I breathed in deeply for the first time.
“I know it hurts, but you need to let him do this if you want him to fix you,” Linnea told him, her voice verging between comforting and scolding.
“I don’t want him to fix me!” Konstantin shouted back.
“You saved my life,” Linnea persisted. “I won’t just let you die.”
Ridley had been helping the medic tear back Konstantin’s shirt so he could get to the worst of it—a horrible gaping wound in his abdomen. He’d assisted enough so that the medic could get his hands on Konstantin, pressing painfully against the gash in order to heal it with psychokinesis.
As soon as the medic got his hands on him, Konstantin started fighting it, trying to push them off. Linnea screamed when he threw his hand out, and she jumped back from him.
“Leave it be!” Konstantin commanded. “Just let me die.”
“We need you,” Ridley said, trying to hold Konstantin’s arms down before he hurt himself or someone else. “Just let us help you.”
I pushed past Linnea to get to his side, and when Konstantin saw me, out of surprise he stopped fighting. His eyes widened, and he grimaced. His hair was damp with sweat, and blood was splattered on his cheeks.
Since he’d relaxed some, I leaned on the bed beside him, taking his bloodstained hand in mine.
“Let them help,” I said softly, imploring him.
He looked away from me, staring up at the ceiling. He gritted his teeth and breathed in angrily through his nose. That was as close to consent as we would get, so I looked to the medic and nodded.
The medic put his hands back on Konstantin, and he groaned loudly through his teeth. His hand squeezed mine to the point of being painful, but I just let him. It took a few moments, but eventually he began to relax.
I looked down, and the medic was panting as he took his hands off Konstantin. The wound was healed, and other than a fresh scar under the thick layer of drying blood, his abdomen looked completely normal.
The medic began to tell Konstantin to take it easy, and if there were other minor injuries in different areas, they would take more time to heal because he’d focused all his energy on the abdominal wound.
Linnea thanked the medic for his help and took him out to the hallway. Konstantin let go of my hand, so I straightened back up. In the bed across from Konstantin, a white sheet stained red had been pulled up over the man’s head. The other guy who had come in with Konstantin hadn’t made it.
“I hate to do it at a time like this,” Ridley said. He stood on the opposite side of the bed, looking down at Konstantin. “But I have to find out about the attack. We need to so we can prepare ourselves.”
“It was just a couple scouts,” Konstantin said. “There were only two of them. We killed one pretty quickly, after he took out one of the guys I was walking with, but the second guy—he put up quite a fight.” He grimaced at the memory.
“Did they say anything?” Ridley asked.
Konstantin nodded. “Yeah. I finally got my sword to his throat, and then he was quite chatty because he thought I’d spare his life. He said that Viktor sent them down to see how well armed the Skojare were. He said that Viktor is waiting to hear back from the scouts before sending tro
ops.”
Ridley folded his arms over his chest. “With them being dead, it ought to buy us a few days.”
“That’s the good news,” Konstantin said. “The bad news is that both of the scouts were Omte, and not just any Omte. These were trained soldiers, which is why they did such a number on us.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.” I shook my head. “I thought Viktor had just been picking up random trolls that had defected from other tribes, like Bent Stum.”
“So did I,” Konstantin replied wearily. “But we were wrong. The scout told me as much. Viktor and Mina have the Omte working for them now.”
“Shit,” Ridley whispered. “I need to go find the King and Baltsar to tell them this. It changes everything.”
He walked around the bed, heading toward the door, but he paused and reached out, touching my arm gently. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’m fine.”
Ridley lingered like he wanted to say more, or maybe even finish that kiss we’d barely started in the ballroom. But now wasn’t the time or place, and he knew it. He glanced back at Konstantin, then let go of my arm and left.
Konstantin closed his eyes and groaned. “You should’ve just let me die. They shouldn’t have wasted their resources and the medic’s energy on me, not when there’s going to be many other soldiers that deserve it more.”
“I’m not gonna let you die.” I sat on the edge of the bed beside him.
He laughed darkly. “Death is something that’s beyond even your control, white rabbit.”
FIFTY-THREE
retaliate
Once Konstantin was asleep, Linnea had a footman move the body of the recruit and begin preparing it for a proper burial. She stood out in the hall, watching them carefully and reverently carry the fallen guard away.
I left Konstantin’s side to join her in the hall. Her mask rested in her hair, pushing back her ringlets so they stuck out haphazardly. She wrung her hands together absently, her eyes fixed on the retreating footmen.
“How are you doing?” I asked her.
“I haven’t even been Queen for a year.” She sounded as if she was speaking more to herself than me. “I turn seventeen on the sixteenth of June, and a week after that, it will be my one-year wedding anniversary. That will mark one year as Queen.”
“It’s been a very busy first year,” I commented.
“At first, I think I was only playing at Queen, and if I’m being honest, Mikko was only playing at King.” She turned back to face me, her eyes moist. “We’d never really been challenged, so we were only going through the motions and having parties and putting on these silly costumes.”
She lifted up the length of her gown and let it fall back down. “And now we must be the things that we were pretending to be. People are dying, and we must be the ones that protect them.”
A solitary tear slid down her porcelain skin. “I feel like I’ve already failed.”
“No, you haven’t failed.” I shook my head. “Despite how everything turned out tonight, the ball was a good idea. You need to create unity and order and a sense of happiness within Storvatten. While others are out fighting, you need to hold things down here, and when they come back, you take care of them. That’s your job as the Queen.”
“You really think I did the right thing tonight?” Linnea wiped away her tear.
“Yes, you did everything exactly right,” I told her. “But you need to be strong. A Queen must never be seen crying.”
She straightened up, pulling her shoulders back and raising her chin higher, and took a deep breath. “You’re right. I need to be a leader.”
I smiled at her. “You’ll be a fine leader.”
“I would hug you, but you’re covered in blood.” She motioned to the bright red splotches that covered the bodice of my dress, staining the lace and satin, from when I’d been attempting to comfort Konstantin.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t even thinking about it.”
“Bryn.” She gave me a hard look. “There are far greater things to worry about than my silly gown. I couldn’t care a fig about what happened to that dress while in service to this kingdom.”
I thanked her again, and she excused herself to sit with Konstantin. She didn’t want him to be alone, at least not until she was absolutely certain he was better. I looked in on her before I left, sitting at the bedside of an injured outcast without a kingdom, and I wondered how many other Queens would do that.
With Konstantin in her hands, I felt safe heading down to the meeting room. The palace had settled down while I’d been in with Konstantin, now that the imminent threat of attack had been called off. Guards were still stationed around more than normal, but people weren’t running around like madmen.
When I walked downstairs, I could even hear the orchestra from the ballroom playing. The ball was under way again, probably under the advisement of Lisbet. If we had been attacked, I imagined her still dancing to the music, like the orchestra that had played on as the Titanic sank.
I stopped only to wash the blood from my hands, and then I headed into the meeting room. Finn and Ludlow were seated at the long table, while Baltsar paced alongside it. Mikko stood at the head, his expression grave, and Ridley stared at the dark water outside, his back to the door. He glanced over at me when I came in the room but didn’t turn around.
“It all depends on how many Omte they have with them,” Finn was saying as I closed the door behind me.
“We’re strong,” Ludlow added. “But the Omte already outnumber the Vittra, and if they bring their whole army, I’m not sure how well we can hold against them.”
“They’ll break down the walls,” Baltsar grumbled as he paced. “You get those ogres charging, and the walls will shatter underneath their fists. They’ll destroy the palace.”
“We have to stop them before they get to the palace,” Finn said. “The battle needs to happen on land, far from the shore.”
“And what if they beat us down and charge past us?” Baltsar argued. “You get the Kanin army and the Omte army and who knows how many others Viktor Dålig’s collected, and they come charging at us? They’ll trample our army.”
“Once they get to the palace, it’s all over,” Finn said. “They’ll break the walls, take the sapphires, and kill anyone who is left.”
“I know!” Baltsar shouted. “That’s my point. How do we stop them from taking the palace?”
“We go to them,” Finn replied with a heavy sigh.
“We can’t do that,” I said, speaking for the first time since I’d entered the room, and everyone turned to look at me. “The people in Doldastam are innocent. They don’t need to end up casualties of our war against their Queen. They shouldn’t be punished for her sins.”
“My family is there too,” Finn reminded me, his eyes pained. “I know how great the risk is. But it’s our only chance to stop the Queen and her armies before she destroys another kingdom. And once she’s done with the Skojare, there’s no telling who she’ll go after next.”
“We go to them,” Baltsar agreed, sounding resigned to the idea. “We take the fight to Doldastam. We still might not win. They still outnumber us, and they’re still much stronger. But if we lose, we give everyone in Storvatten a chance to escape. It’s our best plan to avoid innocent casualties.”
“You’re suggesting we abandon the palace?” Mikko asked in his low rumble.
“I am suggesting that if we lose, yes, everyone behind in Storvatten fills their pockets with sapphires and disappears into the lake,” Baltsar said. “It’s the only advantage we have, that the other tribes can’t follow us into the water.”
“Konstantin and I know Doldastam and the palace inside out,” Ridley said, referring to the fact that as a member of the Högdragen and Överste respectively they had been privy to all the plans and designs of the city. They knew it better than even Tilda and me.
He turned around to face the room. “Do we really have a chance of beating them? I don’t kn
ow. But if we do, Finn is right. Our best shot is taking Doldastam before they come for Storvatten.”
Mikko surveyed the room, waiting for dissenting opinions, but even I just lowered my eyes. It wasn’t a perfect plan, and I wasn’t sure that we wouldn’t all end up dead anyway.
But it was still our best chance at defeating Mina, even if it meant risking the lives of the people I cared about most. The greater good of peace within the five kingdoms outweighed my own personal feelings.
“That settles it, then,” Mikko said. “Since they’ll be coming for us soon, we don’t have time to waste. We leave at dawn for Doldastam.”
FIFTY-FOUR
älskade
With my bag slung over my shoulder, I closed the door to my guestroom in the Storvatten palace for the last time. It had a strange finality to it. I didn’t know if I’d ever come here again or if the palace would even be standing in a couple weeks.
I started walking down the hall and paused when I reached Tilda’s room. She sat on her bed, her legs crossed underneath her, and stared down at her belly as she rubbed it. Her wavy chestnut hair hung around her like a curtain.
I knocked on the open door, and she looked up at me with a sad smile.
“You’re leaving already?”
I nodded. “It’s time. Ridley’s already upstairs.”
Her smile became more pained, her full lips pressing into thin lines. I sat my bag on the floor and went over to sit on the bed beside her.
“I wish I was going with you,” she said, almost desperately.
“I know. But the battlefield is no place for a pregnant woman, even one as badass as you.”
“I know it’s the right thing. I know that for the baby, this is where I need to be.” She nodded, as if to convince herself. “But this is my war too. I should be with you, fighting alongside you.”
“You’ve already helped so much. Everything you’ve done with the Skojare army, they’re better because of you.”
“It’s just hard.” She rubbed her stomach. “I think the baby wants to go too. He’s been kicking a lot.” Then she looked over at me. “Wanna feel?”
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