“I don’t think I killed him, I know I did. There was just no way he could have lived after the way I hurt him.”
Her words were softly whispered, so softly Deke didn’t know if he heard her correctly or not. “Honey, I’m not a very good person. I have killed before and will probably do it again, when the time comes. If it comes.”
Cassie glanced up at him and frowned. “But I didn’t want to kill him. I only wanted to stop him from hurting Peaches.”
“Why don’t you tell me about it?”
“I can’t.” She shook her head. “It’s not only my secret.”
“Sometimes, talking about it helps you cope with the pain. You can’t keep that shit inside, it will eat you up.”
Cassie laid her head back down on his chest. Closing her eyes, she began telling him about her childhood. At first, the words were halted and faltering. Then as she went on, they became clearer. The hell she described as her life was like a living nightmare he could hardly believe, but he knew it was true. She had been the victim from the time she turned three and she had no one to help her. No one but herself. Then she told him about what happened the night Peaches was attacked. She described in vivid detail what she’d done to a teenage rapist. A boy more than a man but still a vile person. The things she described that this young kid had done to a small child made Deke’s blood go cold.
At the age of ten years old, she had saved the life of her best friend by plunging a knife into the body of another human being. A boy four years older than herself and many pounds heavier. She told him every detail she had embedded in her brain. The sight of his blood the smell of the candles he was burning. The taste of his mouth as he tried to kiss her.
Then she showed him her wrists. “Can you still see the rope burns? Mrs. Pierce used to tie me up in the basement for days when she got mad at me.” Her words were barely above a whisper now. Her throat was dry and her voice cracked. “I-I can’t be restrained and put in a dark basement. I couldn’t stand—it. I almost lost my mind being there when I was a kid. I’m afraid of the dark. That’s part of why I don’t like to be touched. When I was in the dark, all tied up, I felt hands grabbing me, they touched me all over. They pinched me and touched me in places no one should touch. I screamed but no one could hear me. Then the laughter came, driving me further into the blackness. When I got loose that night, my wrists were bloody and so sore I couldn’t move them. When I heard Peaches screaming I ran to her. When I saw the pain and fear on her face, I knew I had to help her. I could barely hang on to anything and Robbie laughed at me. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me close to him to kiss me and I wanted to puke. I don’t know how I did it but I got the strength to grab a knife and I stabbed him with it. The rage came over me and I kept stabbing him. There was so much blood…”
Deke cradled her head to his chest. “Shhh, it’s okay. Don’t tell me anymore.”
Cassie closed her eyes. “But I killed him. I murdered him and I’m so afraid Mrs. Pierce will find me and haul me back to her basement. I’ll die down there. I’ll die and no one will ever know.”
“Honey, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I’ll kill her first.”
“There was only one time I saw her that she acted halfway decent.”
Deke ran his fingers along Cassie’s back. “Oh, when was that?”
“I guess I was about eight when someone came to the door. I was hiding but I could see her face. When she saw who was there, her face changed. It was as if someone from her past came back and she was happy to see him. I couldn’t see him but I could hear the conversation. She called him Calderone and he called her Janie. It didn’t make sense to me at the time, but she went with him outside and closed the door behind her. I went to the window and watched them for a few minutes, then he got into his car and he left. She came back into the house and I hid again. She was wiping tears away and for a moment, she looked upset. Five minutes later, the hellbent old lady I knew so well was back.”
“Did this Calderone person ever come back?”
Cassie shook her head and she didn’t speak for a few minutes. “Please don’t hate me. I’m really not a bad person.”
Deke leaned back and holding her face, he kissed her. He thrust his tongue inside her mouth and he kissed her deeply and then he breathlessly pulled his mouth from hers. “Oh baby, I don’t hate you. I think I might be falling for you and that scares the hell out of me. I’ve never loved anyone before.”
Cassie threw herself at him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him back. “For the first time in my life, I’m not afraid. I know that I’m safe when you hold me. I’m not afraid to let you touch me. I never knew before that a touch could give me this feeling. When you let me kiss you. I’d never known that feeling before. I’m not sure if what I feel for you is love or not, but I want to find out. I think it might be but I’m not sure. I know I don’t feel this way for anyone else. I can’t stand to think someone else could touch me the way you do.”
“No one else will ever touch you the way I do,” Deke whispered. “If that happens I’ll kill the bastard.”
Cassie smiled sadly. “I learned the hard way how to protect myself and Peaches. I learned when someone else hit me, just how much pain I could endure. I learned how to hurt them when they came after me and her…but I hated every minute of it. I just couldn’t let anyone else hurt her or me. I just couldn’t. She was so scared that night. Robbie cut her bad. She was bleeding so bad, we had to hold up for three days until it stopped. I was so scared, we would get caught.”
“I’ve got you now and I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you ever again,” Deke vowed.
CHAPTER FOUR
Connie pressed her ear to the door and waited. She’d been lurking in the background waiting for her chance to finally get the dirt on the new bitch and it had paid off. She’d been looking for payback since the fight between them. Wiley had told her not to drag it out, but Connie just couldn’t let it go. She’d been waiting and watching over the last few days and keeping track of Cassie’s movements. She had to have her revenge. Which is why when she heard that blood curdling scream earlier, then the bitch had been sobbing, crying her poor little eyes out, she hid until the coast was clear and now she was trying to eavesdrop like a little kid.
They were speaking so softly she could barely hear what they had to say. She did hear something about murder though and that made her smile.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Gator roared from behind her.
Connie spun around and was facing a very irate biker.
Gator towered over her on the best of days and this wasn’t one of the good days for sure. He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her back to the main room. His steps were so long she couldn’t keep up. When he stopped in front of Wiley’s table, he tossed her to the floor. “Wiley, you’d better get your bitch under control.” Gator snarled. “Deke would not be happy to know she was listening to a private conversation, especially when the conversation is his. In fact, I can damn well guarantee he ain’t going to like it.”
Wiley got to his feet and stared down at her for a moment.
His face looked blank and Connie knew she wasn’t’ going to like what happened next. Wiley had told her to drop the anger against Cassie. She hadn’t listened and the bitch had beaten her. Wiley told her a second time after the fight to leave it alone and she didn’t listen again.
Wiley had been an all right guy, almost perfect for her needs but lately, she felt him pulling away. Connie loved the fact that she was a biker’s old lady. She’d thought that over time, she could have it all, a ring, a wedding, kids. Wiley had been good to her, maybe even loved her in his own way.
“Wiley, baby…” she began to plead.
Wiley brought his gaze up to Gator. “Toss the bitch out. She ain’t my old lady anymore.”
“Wiley—you can’t mean that?” Connie screamed. “I know you don’t mean it, c-come on baby!”
Wiley grabbed her by the arm
and lifted her to her feet. He grabbed the back of her vest and yanked it off her shoulders. Then he tossed her to the ground again. Wiley sat down and to finish his breakfast. He didn’t look at her again.
Gator nodded and with a hand motion, two prospects came forward and each one grabbed one of her arms. They half dragged, half carried her to the main door. Connie was sobbing but no one there lifted a finger to help her.
Wiley got to his feet and followed the men. Just before they opened the door, he called out, “Wait a sec, boys.”
Connie glanced up at him with hope in her eyes. When he reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys, she thought maybe there was something there to save her. Then he turned and walked away, leaving her and she knew it was over.
The prospects walked her all the way out to the front gate. When it opened, they tossed her out. She stumbled and fell to the dirt. They closed the gate behind her and without a word, they walked back to the clubhouse.
Connie lay there in the dirt sobbing. She had just lost everything that ever meant anything to her. She was no longer Wiley’s old lady and without him, she knew she’d never be with anyone from the club again. She’d been with Wiley for two years, she’d taken care of him, lived with him, loved him and now she’d lost him. He’d stripped her of more than just her status when he took her vest. Without her keys, she had no place to go, and no car to drive to get her anywhere.
She quickly checked her back pocket and breathed a sigh of relief. At least, she still had her phone. Knowing she might not have it long, she walked down the road and for the first time in her life, she posted club business on the web. When they had arrived this morning and seen the tiger on the wall of the clubhouse Connie had been stunned.
Everyone had been standing around gazing at the painting. Their remarks had set Connie’s teeth off. She hated that Cassie had shown more talent than she ever had in the few days she’d been with them. Knowing it was against the rules, Connie had sneaked a picture of the tiger. The hard and fast rule was, no one spoke about the club and what went on inside the walls. If you broke that rule, you were as good as dead.
Connie turned and glared at the clubhouse, thanks to the bitch she was as good as dead to the club anyway. She wasted no time in putting the picture on the web. She even asked the question if anyone out there knew the artist. She couldn’t wait to get a response. Carelessly, she tossed the phone into the brush. The phone was under Wiley’s name and she knew he would turn it off in a day or so anyway. She couldn’t count on him to forget about it.
She wasn’t going very far. Connie had one more little trick up her sleeve. She was going to sneak back in when no one else was around and give Cassie one last taste of her revenge. She narrowed her eyes as she remembered Cassie’s soft spoken words about being locked up in the dark.
~* * * *~
Deke held Cassie until she’d fallen asleep. Carefully laying her down, he covered her up and leaning over her, he kissed her forehead. He closed the door quietly and glanced at his vice president in surprise. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“We had a problem earlier,” Gator growled. “That bitch Connie was listening at the door. I don’t know what she heard and it ain’t my business to ask but she got an ear full.”
Deke’s rage at the bitch grew. “Where the hell is she?”
“Wiley stripped her of his cut and tossed her dumb ass out the front door.”
Deke thought for a moment then slapped Gator on the shoulder. “You’d better come with me, there’s something we need to talk about.” He led the way to his office. While Deke got out a bottle and poured them a drink, Gator shut the door behind them.
Sitting down on the other side of the desk, Deke lifted his glass and toasted, “Hair of the dog.” They both slammed the whiskey down and Deke poured another. He sat there thinking for a moment. Finally, he said, “Gator, she told me something about her childhood today. It just about gutted me.”
Gator tightened the grip he had on his drink. “You know not every kid has a great time growing up. The world out there can be a harsh place for anybody.”
Deke nodded. “But it shouldn’t have to be for a little kid. No one should have to be beaten every day from three years old on. Her Mom died just before she turned three and her bastard of a father sold her to an evil bitch. He sold his three year old baby girl.”
Gator looked incensed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Deke shook his head. “She hasn’t told me everything yet, but she will. At least I have a place to start looking.” He leaned back and sipped his whiskey. “Peaches told me she met Cassie when they were both five years old and that they both ran away when they were ten. She didn’t say why but Cassie told me the story.”
“And that was?” Gator asked.
Deke’s fingers tightened on his glass. “The bitch’s barely teenage son was hurting Peaches. He was cutting her and then he was going to rape her. The bastard was going to rape a ten year old kid.”
“How did she get them both the hell away?”
“She heard Peaches screaming and was able to break the ropes they tired her wrists with. Poor kid could barely hold anything in her hands until she saw what the puke was doing to Peaches. She was able to stab the bastard. She said she did it over and over again. She grabbed Peaches and they took off. She said it took three days of hiding to get Peaches in condition to travel and they both have been hiding since then.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to call Rusty and see what he can find out about the attack. She claims she murdered this kid but with everything that went on in that house, any good lawyer would call it self-defense. That little bastard deserved what he got and more.”
“Is that why she can’t stand to be touched?”
Deke shook his head. “She told me they would tie her hands together with rope then throw her down in a dark damp basement with no food or water for days. Then they would torment her by grabbing her in all the wrong places. This went on for years and no one would help her.”
“Sweet Jesus,” Gator whispered. “No wonder being touched freaks her out.” He finished his drink. “Where did she learn to defend herself?”
Deke sighed. “She said she learned to take care of herself and Peaches on the street. She said it was tough going for a while but she learned. She would watch from the shadows and learned how to kick box. She said by the time she was twelve, she could take on anyone who messed with them.”
“Fuck me,” Gator whispered in awe. “Yep, spitfire.”
Deke nodded his head it was a fitting name…he knew that now. He leaned back and rested his head against the back of his chair. “You know what surprised me the most Gator?”
“What’s that?”
“The other morning I woke up to find her leaning over me. She was looking at me funny and I asked her what she wanted. She told me she’d never kissed anyone before and she asked if she could kiss me.”
“And what did you tell her?” Gator smirked.
Deke smiled. ”I let her kiss me.”
“Of course you did man.” Gator laughed.
“Then I let her do a whole lot more.” Deke frowned. “I thought maybe she’d been kidding about never kissing anyone before but I was wrong. The girl was a true innocent.”
“A virgin?” Gator asked astounded.
“Yup, she was and she gave her innocence to me.” Deke shook his head. “You know me Gator, I’ve never had that before. I’ve always made sure the bitches I fucked knew the score. I’ve never had anything that sweet before. Never wanted the baggage that goes with a starry eyed girl…but I want this one.”
Gator grabbed the bottle and poured them another drink. “Sounds like love man.”
“I know, ain’t it a bitch?” Deke slammed his shot down.
“No man, love ain’t a bitch,” Gator told him quietly. “Love is the best fucking feeling in the world. There ain’t nothing finer in the world than the love of a good woman.
What Reva and me got, man, I wouldn’t trade that for all the gold in the world.”
Deke stared at his vice president for a moment then said, “I think I finally found it. With a girl almost half my age.”
Gator leaned forward. “I’m gonna let you in on a little known fact. If what you feel for Cassie is real, brother you hang on to that. You fight with every fiber in your body for her, cuz man if she’s the one, you’ll never have better.”
Deke smiled as he remembered the first time they made love. He couldn’t begin to describe the feelings he’d had when he took possession of her body. He remembered in vivid details the touch of his lips on hers. He got hard just thinking about her. Adjusting himself, he reached for the phone. “I’d better get Rusty going on this. I want everything I can get.”
Gator nodded.
“Maybe we should get Peaches to a safe house,” Deke suggested. “With Big Jimmy’s death and all this shit, I don’t want her out there alone. Cassie would never forgive herself if anything happened to her. They have come too far together for her to lose her friend now.”
Gator got up and left the room to take care of business.
Deke dialed Rusty’s number and asked him to find out what he could. When he hung up the phone, he sat there thinking about what he’d learned today. He’d had a bad childhood but it was nothing compared to hers. When he found the club, his life fell into meaning. He had someone strong to stand behind and beside him while Cassie only had Peaches. Together, they had each other and that’s all either of them had ever known. Until now.
Now, they had the club and neither of the girls would ever have to fear the dark again. That he vowed. He would protect them both.
Deke got up and walked out to the main room. He stopped in front of the tiger again, and just stared at the beast. He felt someone come up behind him but he didn’t care. Finally, he turned and saw it was Wiley standing there.
“Boss, I’m so sorry for what Connie did this morning. I mean, I can’t believe she did it. Well, I can’t say that because I know she did it. She’s had it in for Cassie ever since you brought her here.”
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