by Ava Walsh
“I don’t know if we should,” she said meekly, and Rufus smiled again.
“I feel like a teenager again. Do you want to, Olivia? Because I want to. I was hoping I’d see you again when I returned to town.” He had pulled his hand back, giving her the space she needed to decide.
Olivia sighed and bit down on her lip. Of course she wanted to, he was all she had ever wanted. But how could she tell him how he had affected her life and how this night would affect her again?
Instead, she relaxed her shoulders and inched towards him. He was too irresistible.
“I don’t want to force you into anything, Olivia,” he said, taking hold of her shoulders as she moved closer. She wanted to run her hands through his hair, feel his bare chest under her fingers. How could she possibly tell him all that?
“I’ve changed my mind. You only live once, right?” she said, and this time too, she kissed him on the cheek and he slowly turned his head so that his lips were on hers.
They were kissing with the same ferociousness as before. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, while she repeatedly bit his lower lip. She could feel him smiling against her face as she tried to devour his mouth with hers.
She felt his hands on her back, feeling for the clasp of her bra through her dress. But she got there before him, shoving his jacket out of the way and digging his shirt out of his pants.
They were grappling for each other, neither of them wanting to lose a second of physical contact. Rufus assisted her, pulling his shirt out and then undoing the buttons while trying not to break their kiss.
Olivia placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him away slightly so that she could adjust herself. She bent her knees, tucked her legs up under her thighs and sat up on the seat facing him. The deserted lane they sat in was dark, but in what light there was she could see the desire in his eyes.
Rufus was breathing hard as she kissed him again and this time, he started pulling at her dress. She pulled his shirt off and ran her hands over his smooth, broad chest and the ridges and grooves of his solid abs. Her fingers lingered on the skin right above his pants.
Rufus tugged at her dress, pulling it over her head so that Olivia suddenly felt a gush of cool air on her flesh. She was sitting on the seat in her black lace underwear and Rufus was looking at her.
“Just like I remembered,” he said gruffly, before pouncing on her, pushing her back onto the seat so that he hovered over her while his hands massaged her ample breasts.
“Rufus…” she breathed his name with her eyes squeezed shut. She was arching her hips towards him, aware of the cramped space of the inside of her car.
He grabbed her by the waist and straightened her back, lowering his head to lick the flesh between her breasts. He was perched on the seat himself and he moved his head lower and lower, grazing his tongue along her skin and down her abdomen until he reached the lace fabric of her panties. He rolled them down her legs delicately and Olivia blushed as he looked at her nakedness. She was wet there, she could feel it getting more slippery as an itch developed inside her.
When the panties came off, Rufus lunged down with his head between her legs. His tongue found the sweet slippery core of her, and he dug at it, licking it and making her arch her back towards him more.
Olivia moaned loudly and grabbed her own breasts, which she squeezed. Rufus dug with his tongue more wildly as she wrapped her legs around his neck and squeezed. She was going to orgasm, even quicker than she had the last time they had slept together.
Her legs were quivering and she could feel his tongue moving inside her, slipping on her wetness. He had stroked her inside repeatedly and she had had enough. Olivia didn’t want to control it any longer and she allowed her body to shudder.
Her legs squeezed him between her thighs and she screamed loudly, in joy and pain and pleasure.
She didn’t notice when Rufus pulled himself up and pulled down his pants. She was still in the throes of her orgasm when she felt him slide inside her. It was easy, she was dripping wet and he was inside her with one forceful thrust.
Olivia pushed herself towards him while he looked down at her. His green eyes were narrowed and intense. His smile had disappeared. He was serious about this, he was serious about making her feel good. About making her orgasm again.
He grabbed her breasts and used them as support as he thrust into her again. With each push, they both moaned together. Rufus’ mouth hung slightly open as he continued squeezing her breasts, his thumb and forefinger pressing her nipples repeatedly. He was inside her, completely and repeatedly. He pulled out and pushed in, in a smooth, repetitive pattern so that Olivia started anticipating the push.
His hands moved from her breasts eventually to hold her legs wide open. Rufus was bent under the roof of the car, their bodies only inches apart as he pulled her legs apart. Olivia felt him enter more easily now, slipping through, stroking against the part inside her that was craving him. Rufus was big, his dick was throbbing and he wasn’t holding back with his thrusts. He wanted her to cum again.
She did, this time more violently. Olivia’s screams were loud and she felt the car shake with his quick, successive thrusts. She knew from the look in his eyes that he was going to cum too. He clutched her waist and pushed inside her, allowing himself to empty into her as they both moaned loudly together.
“Olivia!” He screamed her name with the final shiver and then collapsed on top of her, crushing her with his weight.
Her body was still quivering as he lay on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him, enjoying the smell of him on her, the feel of his muscular arms around her body.
She closed her eyes and allowed the moment to sink in before she knew the panic would begin. But Rufus took his time. He remained inside her, lying on top of her in her arms, allowing himself to catch a breath.
It must have been at least fifteen minutes later that he stirred. Olivia had been holding her breath, feeling his warmth all this while, but when he moved she let go of him instantly. She didn’t want him to think that she wanted him to stay.
He straightened himself up, back into a sitting position at the drivers seat, completely naked.
Olivia sat up as well, covering her breasts with cupped hands. Rufus laughed when he saw that.
“I think we’re well past that modesty,” he said with a grin and licked his lips. Olivia blushed and looked away.
“I have to get dressed,” she said, trying to sound as matter-of-fact as possible. She knew he was watching her as she reached for all her clothes and started putting them on. A certain darkness had descended on his features as he watched her and then started dressing himself as well. They were both silent.
“You don’t have to drive me home. I know the way,” Olivia said, without looking at him, after they had both dressed.
“I don’t mind. I can walk home from your mother’s house,” he said, but Olivia shook her head.
“Walk home from here. I’ll be fine,” she said, opening her door to step out.
Rufus did the same and they looked at each other through the darkness.
“Olivia…” He was trying to say something, but she simply shook her head and walked over to the driver’s side door.
“Hey!” he cried out, as she settled into the car. Olivia stuck her head out of the window and looked at him with a smile.
“Thanks, Rufus. That was fun, as always. Goodnight. See you around,” she said, turning the key in the ignition and driving away.
She checked her rearview mirror and saw him still standing there, a look of confusion on his face.
Olivia was happy and upset at the same time. Happy she had had one more night with him, that she had been able to walk away from him before he had had the chance to walk away from her. But she was upset because she still wanted him, and this night hadn’t quenched her thirst for him. If not anything else, at least he didn’t know that. Rufus didn’t have a clue.
Chapter Six
Olivia heard a knock on th
e door. Frowning, she rushed over to look through the peep-hole. Sophie stood outside in a pinstriped pencil skirt with a neatly ironed shirt tucked into it. A black leather tote hung from the crook of her elbow. She looked like she was ready to head for a meeting.
Olivia opened the door wide and raised her eyebrows at her friend.
“I didn’t know if you were at home or at work. I decided to take a chance,” Sophie said, pushing past her into the apartment.
“I do have work. I have to leave in a couple of hours.” Olivia said, watching Sophie walk over to Maya, who was playing quietly with building blocks in her playpen.
“Hello, missy,” Sophie said, bending down in front of Maya and forcing a smile onto her face. Maya looked up at her with her large, green eyes, and Sophie looked away.
“She’s an awfully quiet child, isn’t she?” Sophie turned to Olivia, who was standing by the shut door, her arms crossed over her sweatshirt.
“So this is the place then?” Sophie looked around her. The weekend had just gone by and the apartment was back to its usual messy self. Toys were strewn over the floor, pots were boiling in the kitchen and Maya and Olivia’s clothes covered the couch in a high heap.
Olivia could see Sophie’s expression change as she took in the sight. The apartment was probably less than half the size of the one that Sophie could now afford in New York City.
“Isn’t this place too small for two people, Olivia?” Sophie asked, her gaze falling back on her friend now. Olivia sighed and walked over to the pots in the kitchen.
“Want some spaghetti? It’ll be ready soon,” Olivia said, carefully avoiding any interrogation. It wasn’t Sophie’s place to judge or ask questions, no matter how well meaning they were.
“Aren’t there any full-time jobs you can take up?” Sophie avoided the question as well, continuing on with her tunnel-vision. Olivia sighed again, hoping Sophie would get the message.
“You know there aren’t, Sophie. You know this town. At least none for a Lit Major.” Olivia stirred the tomato sauce in the pot without looking at her friend. When would these questions ever end?
Maya shrieked playfully and clapped her hands, and Olivia turned to smile at her daughter. Whatever Sophie might think, Maya was happy, and that was all that mattered.
“Why don’t you move somewhere else, Olivia? Somewhere where you can get a decent full-time job and get a bigger apartment?” Sophie had walked over to the kitchen, but Olivia concentrated on emptying the spaghetti into the colander.
“Sophie, please tell me you haven’t come here to spy on my life. What has gotten into you?” Olivia didn’t turn to look at her friend anymore, she was upset with Sophie, angry with her but at the same time, didn’t know how to demonstrate it. She didn’t yet know how to put her foot down.
“I don’t understand why you’re hell bent on spending your life like this. And you won’t even tell Craig. It makes me sad to see you this way,” Sophie said. When Olivia turned, she saw her friend staring at the large yellow stain on her sweatpants.
“Don’t worry. It’s just mustard sauce,” Olivia said, trying to smile as she rubbed the stain off. “And Craig is out of the question. I’m fine, Sophie, for the last time. I don’t need a big change in my life. I’m just a single mother. Thousands of women do this every day.” Olivia turned again to pour the tomato sauce over the pasta and toss it. She heard Sophie sigh and the click of her high heels on the floor as she walked closer to her.
“But you’re not everyone else. You’re talented, smart and deserve the best. We want the best for you. You shouldn’t have to live like this,” Sophie said, now standing beside Olivia as she stirred the pasta. Olivia remained silent for a few minutes before turning to Sophie.
She could feel her ears fuming, her lips quivering. She’d had enough. This onslaught was not what she’d asked for, from her mother, Rufus or Sophie.
“Sophie. Please, just go,” she said quietly, already regretting that she had spoken to Sophie in that manner. Sophie flinched and inched away from Olivia.
“I’m only trying to help!” Sophie shrieked, and Maya started crying.
Olivia pushed past Sophie and walked over to her daughter, picking her up from her playpen and patting her back.
“Just leave, Sophie. If you can’t be happy for me, if you can’t accept Maya in my life, then you don’t need to be here. I don’t want you here,” Olivia said, kissing her daughter’s head lightly. Sophie’s nostrils were flaring too, as she stared at Olivia and Maya in her arms.
“I only want what’s best for you and Maya. Whether or not I like kids, she’s your child,” Sophie said, adjusting the bag on her arm. Olivia rolled her eyes and turned away from her friend. She continued patting Maya’s back, who was still whimpering in her mother’s arms.
The sound of Sophie’s retreating footsteps behind her meant that it had finally worked. Sophie was leaving her house, leaving them to enjoy their lunch in peace before Olivia had to go to the bookstore again. She had too many problems to think about, without Sophie coming and stirring up new things.
“Olivia…I love you. You’re my best friend,” Sophie said, but Olivia didn’t turn to look at her. She heard Sophie sigh, open the door and leave the house, pulling the door shut behind her.
“It’s okay, baby. Sorry mommy got angry,” Olivia cooed into Maya’s ear and bounced her in her arms.
She turned to look at the door finally and pressed her eyes shut for a second. She loved Sophie too, of course she did. But Maya was now the most important person in her life and she would do anything it took to keep her happy and safe.
***
By the time Olivia had picked Maya up from her mother’s house and they had returned to the apartment, it was nine at night. Maya had already been fed and she lay dozing in her mother’s arms when Olivia brought her into the house.
Olivia smiled as she looked into Maya’s peaceful face and laid her down on the couch. Her phone rang in her bag suddenly and Olivia was snapped out of her thoughts. She found her bag on a chair, pulled her phone out and answered it, not recognizing the number.
“Hello,” she said, not entirely paying attention.
“Hello. Olivia?” the male voice said and she frowned.
“Yes. Who is this?” she asked, pulling her canvas shoes off her feet. She sat down on the couch, finally able to relax her feet after a long day.
“Hi, Olivia.” The tone of the voice was nervous, slightly unsure of himself. “This is Craig. Craig Walker,” he informed her, and Olivia stood up from the couch. What? Her heart was beating differently this time, but not out of excitement, the way it did each time she saw Rufus.
“Craig? Hi,” she mumbled, at a loss for words. She hadn’t spoken to him in three years.
“How are you, Olivia?” he asked. It sounded like he was pacing the floor. He was probably as nervous as she was. Olivia sat back down on the couch slowly. She needed to sit down for this.
“I’m good. How are you?” she asked and heard him clear his throat.
“I spoke to Sophie today. Your friend, Sophie Frost? Umm…she called me,” Craig said, and Olivia covered her face with her hands.
“Did she? Why? What did she tell you?” Olivia asked, pressing her temples with her fingers. She couldn’t believe Sophie had done this.
“She said that…that…she told me that I have a daughter. With you…” He was struggling with his words and Olivia shut her eyes. This was an absolute nightmare.
“Craig,” she said, and he stopped talking. “I’m sorry that she called you. She shouldn’t have.”
“But is it true? Do we have a daughter together, Olivia?” Craig’s voice was shaking and it seemed like he was rushing around his room now, unable to walk slowly anymore.
“Look, Craig. It was a one-night thing. Let’s just forget it, okay?” Olivia said, and she pulled her phone away from her ear and hung up. She still had the phone in her hands when it started ringing again. Olivia dropped the phone on the floor an
d Maya woke up, squealing in her sleep.
Olivia bit down on her lip in frustration and picked Maya up into her lap, leaving the phone on the floor, ringing away.
She couldn’t believe any of this was happening. Sophie, that bitch!
Olivia put Maya in bed and sat by her side reading her a fairytale. The muffled sound of the phone ringing a few more times disturbed them, but only slightly. Olivia kept the door of the nursery tightly shut as she read.
Maya fell asleep easily and Olivia bent down to kiss her forehead and push the golden curls away from her face.
Back in the living room, she found her phone on the floor. Craig had tried calling her six times but had finally stopped. She dialed Sophie’s number instead and on the third ring her best friend picked up.
“Olivia!” Sophie exclaimed. The nervousness in her voice was palpable.
“What the hell did you do, Sophie?” Olivia hissed into the phone. She didn’t want to yell and wake Maya up again.
“You mean Craig? Did he call you?” Sophie asked. “I can explain…” she tried to say, but Olivia interrupted her.
“Yes, he called me. With questions. Which I’ve kept hidden from him for three years. Who gave you the right to ruin all of that in one day?” Olivia couldn’t help it anymore. She was screeching into the phone.
“Olivia…” Sophie tried to get in a word but Olivia wouldn’t let her.
“Didn’t I tell you to stay away from us, Sophie?” Olivia yelled again, throwing one of Maya’s stuffed toys against the wall.
“Listen to me. He wants to help. He wants to do something, anything. I think you should take up that offer,” Sophie said, and Olivia laughed.
“I don’t want Craig’s help. Or yours for that matter. I wanted it to be a secret and you’ve ruined it!” Olivia was pacing the floor now.
“Why do you want it to be a secret? It’s a small town, his parents still live here. You should take advantage of the situation. He is as responsible as you are for Maya!” Sophie had begun yelling into the phone as well.
