by Lisa N. Paul
She grinned. “When you told me to manipulate the ball, it opened my eyes, just not completely. I should have seen what you were doing that night. I didn’t. Even as I sat in your truck outside your school, shaking that damn thing until it gave me the answer I was looking for, I didn’t see the answer, and it was as clear as the writing on the… ball.” She winked. “But when you asked it if I loved you and it said no, I realized there wasn’t a way to make those pieces fit, no way to make sense of an outcome that was truly nonsensical. And what was worse, I didn’t try. The thought of you thinking I didn’t love you as much or more than you love me was beyond my comprehension.”
“Lucky, I need your full attention for what I’m about to say.”
She nodded without speaking.
“I walked out of here angry and hurt with you, but at no point did I think you didn’t love me. I knew you did. I just knew we couldn’t work if you didn’t trust me or have faith in us. It was never about love, not once.” Logan swiped away a tear that trickled down Wren’s cheek.
“Do you want to know something crazy?” she asked.
“Yeah, honey, I wanna know everything.”
“Believe it or not, the only thing I truly did believe in was you. Had I believed in myself a little more, this whole mess could have been avoided.”
Pulling her onto his lap, Logan cradled her close. “It’s over now. In the past. The question is, are you ready to face the future?”
Her small hand flattened against his chest and ascended until it rested over his rapidly beating heart. “Will you be facing it with me?”
“All signs point to yes.”
Wren playfully rolled her eyes. “I have no cookies and no ball. Guess we’ll have to settle for regular sex.”
The gauntlet was thrown. “Oh, Lucky…” Logan chuckled. “Challenge accepted.”
Epilogue
The Only Answer I’ll Accept
Wren hit Save on the assignment she had been working on for her Literacy and Development class. Graduate school, even in a part-time capacity, infused her with pride and satisfaction, and she owed those feelings, and so many more, to Logan. Without him, who knew how long it would have taken her to finally leave Under Your Wears. She’d like to believe she would have finally done so, but it wouldn’t have been six months ago.
Working at Shades of Music with Logan, his employees, and their students felt like heaven. Every day was different, stimulating, and exciting.
The man was truly a gift. He was patient, kind, loving, sexy, and patient—yes, patient needed a second mention. God, she loved him.
The chime of her cell phone pulled her from her thoughts.
Logan: Got the pizza. Be home in a few minutes
Home. Wren smiled. For six months, they had been living together in Logan’s house. A few weeks after they got back together, Mrs. Russell finally decided to retire and move to Arizona so she could live closer to her sister, leaving Wren only a short period of time to find a new place to live. Logan gladly offered his house. The whole thing seemed a little too convenient to Wren, but she made the move and hadn’t looked back.
Wren: I’ve got the Halloween treats waiting by the front door. I can’t wait.
Logan: Oh Lucky, I’ve got a treat for you.
*
The last piece of candy had been dropped into the fiftieth Minion’s snack sack. While Logan had enjoyed every minute of the evening, he was relieved to finally turn off the outside lights and have his woman all to himself. It had been close to seven months since they got back together, but if he was being honest, he had known from the very first night they met that quirky, kind, beautiful Wren Jamison was the woman he was meant to spend his life with.
“You said you had a treat for me?” Her brows wagged suggestively as she stalked toward him. “Can I have you…err, it?”
Chuckling, Logan cupped her cheek, placed a chaste kiss on her lips, and laughed when her seductive look turned into a pout. “Be patient, babe. You go into the living room and wait for me. I’ll be right there. Your surprise is in the kitchen.”
Less than a minute later, he met her in the living room. The lights were dimmed, the fireplace glowed, and the Greatest Hits of Shades of Certainty played in the background.
Logan set a small box on the coffee table, reached in, and pulled out a package. “This came today from Mrs. Russell.” He handed the package to Wren.
After unwrapping the parcel, Wren squealed. “Cookies! Oh my God. Chocolate chip cookies! I couldn’t be more excited. Oh, wait, there’s a note.” Wren unfolded the small piece of pink paper and read it out loud. “‘I was told these babies work better than oysters. Hope you have a pair of crotchless panties to make everyone’s job a little easier. ;) Miss you, honey. Mrs. R’.” Wren stared at the note then at Logan, her cheeks going from pink to burgundy. “You told her we had sex with her cookies? Oh my God, Lo. Holy shit.”
“That woman is not an innocent, bun-wearing grandma, Wren. You must know that by now.” Logan chuckled. “She actually gave me suggestions on better ways to use lady fingers than in tiramisu.”
Wren threw her head back and laughed. “Thank you for these. I love them.”
“Oh, Lucky, they are a treat but not the treat. I have something for you from just me.”
*
Sticking his hand back into the box, Logan fished out a black drawstring bag. “I love you, Wren. I love you with all that I have, all that I am, all that I’ll ever be.”
Wren’s heart slammed into her chest as Logan’s words washed over her.
“I love the woman I met nearly a year ago—the one who kissed me and ran. I love the one who didn’t trust herself to make decisions, so she used a Fortune Ball.”
She cocked her head to the side, confused by his admission.
“I love her because that woman captured my heart, and that woman became you. I love the woman you are today, and I will the love woman you’ll grow to be. Do you love me?”
Is he kidding? “Of course I do. With everything in me.”
“Will you love me forever?”
“Just try to stop me.”
“Never.”
His grin was hungry, if not mischievous, as he held the black bag out to her. It was too big to contain an engagement ring, that much was certain, so Wren hadn’t a clue as to what was going on when she took the bag from Logan’s outstretched hand.
“Trust me, Wren. Believe in me.”
“I do, always.” With that promise, Wren loosened the neck of the bag and emptied it onto her palm. “Logan Enders, this must be a trick. Otherwise, you have lost your mind.”
In her palm rested a very familiar-looking black ball. Had she not destroyed the one she’d carried for years, she’d have thought it was her own. Damn thing was like a horror movie toy—she threw it out and it came back.
The orb felt awkward and odd, like pants that no longer fit even though they used to be your favorite pair. “I don’t understand.” She looked from the ball to the man. “Why would you give this to me?”
“What do you see when you look at it?”
Her gaze dropped to the plastic in her grip. “I see years of wasted time and poor choices.”
“What do you see when you look at me?”
“Well, two minutes ago, I saw a man I wanted to have crazy amounts of sex with. Right about now, I’m seeing someone I’d like to throw this ball at.”
Logan laughed. “Why?”
Wren sighed. “Because it’s a ridiculous toy and it should have stayed out of our lives forever.”
“Wren, it’s a ridiculous toy that should have no bearing on our lives at all.”
He wasn’t wrong. While the ball made her uncomfortable, it brought her no grief, no pain, no harm. Only memories of a person she no longer was.
“I have one more question for you, Lucky.”
“Okay.”
“It’s one question, one answer,” Logan explained. “You need to ask the ball, and there are no re-sha
kes. Whatever the ball says, that’s your answer, got it?”
Anxiety made her stomach clench as panic coursed through her veins. Was he insane? No re-shakes?
Before she had a chance to question him, Logan dropped to one knee, a magnificent engagement ring between his index finger and thumb and a panty-melting smile on his face. “Wren Elizabeth Jamison, will you marry me?”
“L-Logan, I—”
“Use the ball, babe. It’s the only answer I’ll accept.”
“Can I marry Logan Robert Enders?” The urge to vomit had never been more real. What if…? Stiffly, Wren shook the goddamn plastic piece of shit while praying to whatever gods and toy manufacturers that would listen that the answer would be yes.
–All Signs Point To Yes–
Wren stared at the window until the words grew fuzzy. Her heart pounded and blood whooshed through her ears.
“What’s it say?” he asked.
“All signs point to—”
Before another word could pass her lips, Logan slid the ring on her finger and crushed her tight against his chest. “You’re mine, Lucky. Forever.”
He kissed her with a hunger that belied his outward calm, stroking her lips with his tongue until she opened and let him in. She loved the way he explored her mouth, tangled his fingers through her hair, and lifted her. Her legs encircled his waist, pressing his hardness against where she needed it most.
They lowered to the carpet as the song “Lucky” played through the speakers.
“You’re about to get lucky right now,” Wren whispered in Logan’s ear.
“Luckiest man alive, baby.”
*
Sometime later that night–
“Logan, what if the ball had given a negative response?” Wren’s head lay on his chest, her body wrapped around his own.
He had a feeling that question may come up, so he’d swiped the ball on the way up to the bedroom. “That wouldn’t have happened, honey.”
Leaning up on her fist, Wren arched her brow. “How do you know? It could have said no, and then what?”
“Babe, I told you when we first met, I go after what I want and I always get it. That ball would not have led us wrong. I promise.”
“Lo, how do you kno—”
Handing her the toy, Logan smirked. “Go ahead, Lucky, shake it.”
Still hesitant, Wren took the ball and shook it.
–Anything He Wants–
shook it again.
–Logan Is The Man–
“You had this made, didn’t you?” Wren giggled before shaking the ball some more.
–Yes, Logan–
–Logan Is A Stud–
–Blow Jobs Are Fun–
–Eat My Pussy–
“Mmm, now that one sounds like a fantastic idea,” he said.
Logan plucked the toy from Wren’s hands and tossed it on the floor before doing exactly what he was instructed. He was a lucky, lucky man.
Enjoy a preview of Lisa N. Paul’s standalone novel,
Blocked
Prologue
Four Years Ago
April
“I’M SORRY, SNUGGLE-BUNNY, I am.” The words left Ben Spears’s mouth, but repent wasn’t at all the emotion April sensed oozing from her husband as he shrugged with blatant indifference. “I just can’t do this…” He gestured his hands back and forth from his body to hers. “This whole thing between you and me anymore. I need to be happy.” Condescension dripped from his tone. “And you should want that for me.” Ben tossed the rolled pairs of socks from his drawer into his suitcase in a basketball-like fashion. His eyes lit up with accomplishment each time a pair made it into the open case. Packing had always been a little game to him. And there, in that moment, even after he’d dropped a proverbial grenade on his wife, blowing their life apart, he still took time to score points with each pair of socks.
“Wait, let me get this straight.” April rubbed her trembling hands over her rounded belly. An action which had previously brought surges of excitement about their future now provided her with unwavering purpose. At thirty-six weeks pregnant, their unborn baby was the only reason she hadn’t gone all Lorena Bobbit on her lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch husband who, sadly enough, had also been the love of her life since her sophomore year in high school. Her one and only love and she his, or so she’d thought until fifteen minutes prior, when she came home from work early with a headache and found him packing his things.
“Four points.” Ben pumped his fist as two more pairs of socks landed in the suitcase.
“Ben.” While trying to control the quiver in her voice, April was unsuccessful in reining in the volume. “I don’t understand. You’re telling me you’ve been having an affair?”
“Yes.” Another two points celebrated as Ben kept his back turned from April.
“And this woman…” April could barely grit out the word seeing as her mind had already conjured the female into a monster, nothing more than two tits, a hole (maybe two holes), and a heartbeat. “You…cheated on me with her back when we were in college?” April rubbed at the moving form in her belly. Judging by the placement, it was probably their baby’s elbow. Yep, their child wasn’t even born yet and already knew that its daddy was an asshole. Great, just great.
“Yes, April.” Ben faced her and nodded. “Yes to everything. I’m in love with her, and I think I always have been. When she came to work at my firm eight months ago, I realized that those feelings never went away.” Not waiting for a response, Ben turned his back and walked into the closet to gather his suits.
Shock filled April like water flooding a sinking boat. After all, she was sinking. Her life was being torn apart right before her eyes, and she was completely out of control. Grasping for answers like a life preserver, she threw out questions, hoping the answers would help in some way. She’d settle for anything that would clue her in on what the hell was going on.
“Eight months?” April shrieked. “So around the time we got pregnant, you started fucking another woman? And it never occurred to you to tell me?”
Ben’s silence spoke volumes. April tugged at her hair clip, releasing the silky strands from the prison they’d been trapped in all day. Her head had gone from an ache to a migraine, and her stomach was beginning to churn. Their baby continued to shift in her belly, a reminder that it wasn’t just her Ben was leaving but them.
“So you’re now leaving me and our baby to be with her because you”—she threw her hands in the air to surround the next words in quotes—“‘just can’t do this anymore’?” She inhaled slowly, attempting to slow her pounding heart. The obstetrician had warned her during her last appointment, an appointment that, ironically enough, Ben had missed due to work, that an elevated blood pressure was bad for the baby. April continued to pull in deep breaths, putting her baby’s safety before her own heartbreak. She would put her child first…always.
“No, I’m leaving you to be with her because I. Don’t. Love. You… I love her.” Ben answered from inside the walk-in. “Sorry, snuggle-bunny.”
She flinched at the once-adored nickname as he pivoted.
His easy glance rested on hers. His narrow shoulders shrugged nonchalantly as if he were apologizing for forgetting to bring home milk—something he often did. “We just weren’t the fairytale I thought we’d be. It isn’t all your fault.”
She couldn’t contain the gasp that left her mouth as his words sliced through her. Ben stepped out into the bedroom, hands filled with clothes. His gaze flittered past hers and quickly snapped back, zeroing in on her face. Maybe it was her rounded eyes, her tightly drawn-in lips, or her clenched fists. Possibly it was the way her nostrils flared or her uncharacteristic silence that screamed in the dead air, but whatever it was clearly made Ben Spears uncomfortable, and when Ben got uncomfortable, he began to ramble.
“Um, April, snuggle-bunny, there’s no need to lose your head over this.” Ben’s brows arched, nearly reaching his hairline. “I’m sure you and the kid wi
ll be fine. That’s one of the reasons I waited this long to tell you. I wanted to make sure the kid was fine before I left. Now you won’t be alone after I’m gone. I’ve got it all planned.”
April felt her jaw drop. Was he kidding? There was no way this was the man she’d spent the past eight years of her life with.
“We’ll work out child support. You know I’m good for the money, right?”
She stood silently, staring at her husband and watching his lips move as bullshit spewed from his mouth. It was obvious that her silence was making him nervous, but in that moment, she didn’t give a damn how he felt.
He continued to ramble. “Sooo, I’ll just send a monthly check and stay out of your way. I can go be happy with Becky, and you and the kid can… you know, do your thing.” He quickly turned and entered the bathroom to pack his toiletries.
He’s good for the money? Do our thing? April screamed in her head as emotions cycled through her mind. He was supposed to be a good husband and a good father. We made vows stating that we would spend our lives doing our thing together. What the hell just happened? She refused to crumble in front of him, the person who was walking out on her and their baby. No, apparently it was just her baby. The little life inside of her was no more than a nuisance to a man who was nothing more than a stranger. She’d obviously missed the signs that her husband was an unfaithful shit. While she could make a valid point that her lack of observation was due to pregnancy hormones, she wondered just how long she’d been living with blinders on.
The hammer that had been pounding in her skull when she arrived home was now accompanied by a drill and a buzz saw, while waves of nausea inched acid up the back of her throat. Her throat tightened by the second as sadness took hold, forcing shallow breaths and causing her eyes to sting. Inhaling slowly through her nose, April forced oxygen into her burning lungs. She closed her tear-filled eyes and exhaled, releasing carbon dioxide and a promise that she would not cry. No way would she show him any sort of weakness when he was clearly displaying no heartache at all. So instead, she held herself together and grabbed onto the only emotion that would keep the sadness away until he left: anger.
