EIGHTEEN
Khalil and Vanessa entered the sanctuary and went their separate ways in search of a row that wasn’t being overrun with stampeding parishioners. He wanted to find a seat as soon as possible; however she had a routine of meeting and greeting until it was time for praise and worship to begin. Fortunately for her since she was a regular and in good standing with many of the saints, she always had an available seat near the front of the sanctuary. Khalil scanned the building for a prime location but as he noticed that it was beginning to fill up quickly he made a move for the first available one he could find.
“What’s up man?” Cornelius asked as he made his way down the row in front of Khalil. “You back for round two?”
“Yeah man. Had to come see what this Sunday had to offer.” He replied with a laugh as he stood and gave his friend an embrace. “It can be quite rough from Sunday to Sunday and I needed a refill.”
“I feel you man. It’s good to see you back. I know how it can be trying to make it through a week where it seems as though everything is going wrong. But the good thing is that trouble doesn’t last always.”
“I pray that to be true because I don’t know how much more I can handle. I think the devil is trying to kill me!” He exclaimed with laughter.
“It’s all good man, you may be down but you ain’t out. Listen, what are you doing after service.”
“Uhmmmm, nothing I don’t think. Why, wassup?”
“Let’s hit up Roscoe’s and catch up on life.”
“Man that’s a plan. A number nine with a side of grits!! I’ll meet you out front after service.” Khalil said.
“Cool. Let me get back to my post before I get fired.”
“Aiight. See you after service.”
Cornelius began to walk away and then stopped dead in his tracks like someone had yelled his name. He turned and looked back at Khalil and said what the Lord had instructed him to say, “Don’t worry about that dream you have been having. God is going to explain it to you when you are ready to receive it.” He then walked back, gave Khalil another hug and whispered a prayer of encouragement into his ear. Khalil felt his eyes well up but he refrained from releasing any tears in front of his friend. They let go of each other and Cornelius noticed a gentleman standing next to Khalil observing the interaction. He smiled and extended his hand before asking, “How are you my brother?”
“I’m fine thank you.” Khalil froze like he was hearing a ghost and slowly turned his head to the left and looked dead into the eyes of Tyrin, whom after five years of being asked, had finally decided to attend a worship service.
“I’ll see you after church man,” Corny said, oblivious to the current situation at hand.
“What are you doing here?”
“Well, I needed to see you and I figured this would be the safest place. I can bet all I have that there will be no altercations up in here.”
Khalil snickered and said, “You don’t know church.” They sat down and he asked the same question once more and in return he received the same response. He looked around the church for his mother because he wanted to make sure that she wasn’t within eyesight of this scenario because even though she loves the Lord she still has a problem with people that mess over her children.
“It’s nice up in here,” Tyrin said as he took in the beauty of the sanctuary like a person in Rome touring the Vatican. “So how have you been?”
“Fine, Tyrin. I am fine,” he answered with a myriad of questions running through his mind.
“You know, you never told me your status,”
“Do we have to discuss that here? I mean there is a time and place for everything, don’t you think?”
“Well it’s not like the answer is lengthy. All you got to say is positive or negative.”
The praise leader grabbed the microphone and asked everyone to stand on their feet and join in with the praise team as they go forth in ministry and song. The audience jumped up like fans at a Laker game and began to give God a thunderous round of applause in an effort to set an atmosphere of praise. Khalil thanked God for the escape and joined in with the rest of the saints as they gave honor to God. He looked at Tyrin who was standing next to him clapping his hands and felt irritated by the fact that it took a diagnosis, fistfight, and breakup to finally get his simple ass in church.
After the praise team set the atmosphere the Bishop stepped to the podium, grabbed the mic and said, “Turn to your neighbor and tell them you are glad they are here.” Khalil turned away from Tyrin and directed the saying to his other neighbor before hurriedly taking his seat. Tyrin still standing, looked down at him and somberly took his seat and said “If I am making you uncomfortable I can just as easily leave.”
Khalil was in no mood for a guilt trip and knew that this had to be a very cruel trick by God to see if he was really serious about his newfound faith. He sat there and watched the rest of the congregation settle in their seats and knew that if he was to get anything out of the service he had to stop being selfish and let God have his way. “I apologize Tyrin. I am glad you are here.” How true that was he wasn’t sure but it was at least an effort to try and be civil.
The sermon was convicting and full of empowering words that could carry a person through life. Tyrin was amazed at how compelling the Bishop was and couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of him as he planted the words of God into the hearts of the people. He sat and wondered what it must feel like to have that much knowledge about God and be in a position to share it with the world. So often he had heard people try to convince him that he should get to know God or at least attend church on a regular basis
but he had never felt the need until now. He glanced over at Khalil who was intently listening to the message and clutching his bible like his life depended on it and realized that if he had only taken Khalil up on his many offers to attend church that maybe things would be different.
The choir stood again and began to sing a song of invitation and Tyrin felt a tug at his heart that had never been there before. Something was telling him to get up and walk down to the front but he knew that everyone would stare at him so he decided to sit still. As the choir continued to minister he noticed that all sorts of people were exiting their seats and flocking to the front for prayer. The funny thing was that none of them looked as though they had problems or were in dire need of God’s help; but then again he looked like he was doing fine too. The older woman sitting next to him leaned in and said, “Don’t be afraid to walk to the altar, only the devil will tell you to stay in your seat.” He looked over at her and then turned and looked at Khalil who had his head bowed in prayer, “I’ll walk down there with you if you need me too,” she continued.
“I’m fine. Thank you,” he replied.
The Bishop continued to speak and was pleading with those that were struggling with their decision. He reiterated the fact that no sin is too great for God to forgive and no matter what trouble you are in God will walk you through it. Tyrin grew uneasy and knew that he had hit rock bottom emotionally but was a little leery with this whole give it to God concept. However, before he knew it, he was standing on his feet and squeezing past the other people in the row in an effort to get to the aisle and make his way to the altar workers.
Khalil looked up and saw the back of Tyrin walking toward the front and didn’t know how to react. He wanted to rejoice but then again he was a bit angry that God would choose right now to get Tyrin’s attention. “I asked you to kill him, not save him.” he exclaimed to God under his breath. His eyes followed him all the way to the front and noticed Tyrin lower his head at the command of the intercessor. Moments later his shoulders began to shudder as obvious emotion began to overtake him and with uplifted hands Tyrin was worshipping God.
He looked over at the side of the platform and noticed Kerrion staring in awe at Tyrin’s emotional display of reverence to God. The two of them made eye contact and Kerrion being totally unmoved by this breakthrough event in Tyrin’s life, f
olded his arms and stared at Khalil as to say what the hell is he doing here.
After the benediction Khalil hurriedly made his way outside. He was in dire need of fresh air after the stunt God just pulled. He stood in silence and confusion while patiently waiting for Tyrin to come down off the mountain and exit the sanctuary.
“What the hell?!?” Kerry exclaimed as he stormed his way towards his bewildered friend.
“Shut up Kerry. I’m as confused as you are.”
“Khalil, why would you invite that nigga to church? I thought you had moved on and away from all of that? What is really going on?” he asked.
“He just showed up okay. I didn’t invite him and I am as surprised as you are. And more than that I can’t believe he went up for prayer.”
“And had the nerve to try and go in! Did you see that? The nigga even had the balls to drop a tear or two.”
“Khalil!” Tyrin yelled out as he excitedly approached them. “I thought you had left me.”
“He did. Check your e-mail,” Kerrion cattily exclaimed.
“Hello Kerry. It’s good to see you.” He let the comment slide off his back and then continued on with conversation “Wanna go get something to eat? Whatever you want, it’s my treat,” He said with excitement.
“No. He doesn’t.” Kerry answered.
“I’m fine. Thanks for asking though.” Khalil said.
“How about a movie or just go get a cup of coffee or something?” he continued.
“Tyrin? I thought that was you.” Vanessa said as she approached them “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“Blessed. So what brings you here today?” she continued.
“We don’t know!” Kerrion sarcastically answered.
“Kerry.” she said with a stern look.
“I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand why he picks now to come to church. Khalil has been asking him for years and then he waits until all this drama has erupted to decide to get his life right.” He looks over at Tyrin and asks again, “Why are you here?”
The air was thick and even though Tyrin had felt the experience of a lifetime he still knew that reality was ever present. He wanted to apologize again for all his mistakes and actions but he didn’t think it would do any good. He scanned the faces of the three individuals and knew that even though Kerrion was the only person bold enough to put it out there, the other two wondered the same thing as well.
“I just wanted…” he looked over at Khalil and let out a long sigh of defeat “I don’t know why I am here.”
“Neither do we.” Kerry said.
“Kerry, that’s enough.” Khalil said in an effort to stop the unnecessary verbal abuse in front of the church. “Tyrin it’s not that we don’t want you to go to church or whatever, but it’s just so much going on and there has to be space.”
“I understand that but you have to believe me when I say that I am going through hell without you. I can’t do this alone. I have tried to convince myself that I can make it and that I am strong, but it just isn’t working. I need you.”
“Kerrion and I are gonna go, okay. Call me later.” Vanessa gave Khalil a hug and leaned over and gave Tyrin a hug as well. He held onto her as long as possible before she released him and smiled with grace and compassion.
“Hey everybody.” Cornelius said as he walked up with obvious cheer. “Hi momma.” he said to Vanessa as he wrapped his arms around her for his weekly hug.
“Hi baby boy, how is the Prophet doing?” she said with a laugh.
“I am good. Wassup Kerrion, how are you?” He asked as he gave him dap.
“Hey man good seeing you again, did you enjoy service?” He asked Tyrin.
“Actually I did. It was very inspiring.”
“Praise God. I am glad you got something out of it. Wassup Big K-Dizzle? You ready to bounce, I’m starving?”
“Yeah. Give me a minute.”
“You going to eat with him?” Tyrin asked sounding puzzled.
“Yes. This is Cornelius. He and I grew up together. By the way Corny this is Tyrin. He and I go way back as well.”
“Nice to officially meet you,” Corny said with a laugh as he extended his hand.
“Likewise.” Tyrin said in a defensive manner.
“Well let me know when you are ready. I’ll go and chalk it up somewhere out here, aiight?”
“OK.”
“Who the fuck is that?” Tyrin snapped.
“Excuse me,” Khalil said in shock as he looked around to see if anyone had heard his language.
“Tyrin! Did you just say what I think you said?” Vanessa asked.
“I apologize mom but how is he going to go eat with that dude after I just asked him to go and eat with me?”
“You tripping. Khalil, walk away before he embarrasses us all.” Kerry said as he grabbed Khalil by the arm.
“No. I am not going to embarrass anybody, but I think that it’s foul how you would tell me no and then throw it up in my face that you are going to eat with some other nigga.”
“You’re serious aren’t you?” Khalil asked in amazement as he continued looked around to make sure that no one was within earshot of his tirade.
“Walk away.” Kerry continued.
“Tyrin I think you need to go home. This is not the time or the place for this conversation.” Vanessa said.
“Well when is the time? He won’t answer my calls. When he does call me it’s like talking to a brick wall. I am trying to change and let him see how much I care but nothing is working.”
“Go home Tyrin.” Vanessa said again.
“Not until he talks to me!” He looked at Khalil who was frozen on the sidewalk and knew that he finally had him where he wanted him. He was in a place where he could not run and had to face him.
“Sister Taist they need you in the back.” one of the prayer warriors said to Vanessa in a very urgent voice.
“OK. Thank you. Can you two please settle this once and for all?” she said and hurriedly ran back into the church.
“Talk to me!” Tyrin forcibly said.
“Not here.” Khalil calmly answered.
“Where?” he asked between gritted teeth.
Khalil stared blankly into Tyrin’s eyes and could not form words to come forth. He was utterly caught off guard by this confrontation and wanted so badly to walk away but he knew that if he said or did the wrong thing Tyrin would lose it.
“I asked you a question. Do not ignore me. I swear you will regret it.” Tyrin continued.
“Khalil, leave his crazy ass standing right here and go get in your car.” Kerry said as he steadily pulled on Khalil’s arm.
“Why are you doing this, and why here? You just couldn’t wait until Tuesday could you? It’s all about you, huh? I’m not going to talk about this right now and especially not right here. So please wait until Tuesday and we can hash it all out for as long as you want and finally put the last nail in the coffin.”
“Man I’m starving. Bring your boy with us; you can come to Kerry.” Corny said as he unknowingly entered the tense moment. “It’s gonna get crowded and I am still working on that patience thing.” he continued with a laugh.“Get the fuck out of here man.” Tyrin said to Corny. “Can’t your ass eat alone, why the fuck you gotta go with Khalil? We’re discussing something right now.”
Cornelius looked at Khalil who had lowered his face into his hand and began to shake his head. He glanced over at Kerry who was staring at Tyrin with his mouth open in utter shock by his outburst. He looked back at Tyrin who was waiting to see if he was going to walk away or further challenge him. After getting his thoughts back in order he softly asked Tyrin, “Are you speaking to me?”
“Nigga you better bounce!” Tyrin answered.
Cornelius chuckled and took a step forward, “Look homie, you don’t know me or anything about me. Now I’m not gonna challenge you or anything like that but what I will say is this; Khalil is my boy and apparently something ha
s cracked between the two of you that you aren’t stomaching too well, and that’s y’all business. However, my concern is how you can stand in front of God’s house and curse at me like you did. I am going to just chalk that up as spiritual ignorance, but what hasn’t changed is the fact that I am hungry and he and I had made plans to go and get something to eat.” He looks over at Khalil who is standing there obviously overwhelmed by what is taking place, “Let’s go K. Leave all this right here.” he said as he turned and walked away.
Khalil looked up at Tyrin and was about to say something but opted not to. Instead he turned and followed Cornelius and prayed the entire time that Tyrin would not chase after him and further escalates the situation. Kerry stood there with Tyrin and waited until the two men had turned the corner before he uttered a word.
“Will you please just let him go and try and pick up whatever pieces of his life he has left? You aren’t the only one that is going through hell and it hurts him more when you do bullshit like this. Tyrin, you came to his one safe haven that had no traces of you in it and fucked it all up. Your name is on the last five years of his life and you think he isn’t thinking of you when in fact he has no damn choice but to. Now after this little stunt, even when he comes to church he has a fucked up memory of you. That’s selfish man, really selfish,” Kerrion said as he walked away.
Tyrin stood there and looked around to see if anyone really noticed what had just transpired and from the movement and interactions he could tell that they were clueless. He composed himself and tried to recapture the feelings of security that he felt inside but now that he was back in reality, he had to deal with things in his own way. He watched Kerry go back inside the building and out of his sight before he turned and headed toward his car that was parked three damn blocks away.
*****
“You don’t have to talk about it unless you really want to,” Corny said to Khalil as they sat across from each other at Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles. “All I am going to say is that I am your boy no matter what.”
The End of the Rainbow Page 23
