Erin walked past her with the tray of martinis. “Pace yourself. We’ve got all night.”
Kiley was taking another order when Graham appeared from the back office. “Kiley, just so you know, we’re running low on Heineken until our delivery on Tuesday, so we may run out tonight.”
“So should I tell anyone who orders one to ‘lay off my Heiny’?”
Graham rolled his eyes. “Tell them whatever you want. As long as you keep them happy and apologize for us running out.”
“I make no apologies.”
“Just keep the customers happy, will you?”
“Whatever you say, boss.” Kiley checked her watch one more time.
“I’m sorry. Is your job keeping you from some important appointment?” asked Graham.
“Actually yes. I’m late for my life to start.”
Graham smiled. “Well, you’re not gonna get very far by standing behind this bar. But for tonight, I need you to. We’re almost at capacity tonight.”
“So I noticed. That’s why I’m wondering where—”
Through the bustle of the crowd, they heard the office phone ringing and Graham ran off to answer it. “Sorry, Kiley. I gotta take this.”
Erin came back with a tray of empty glasses. “Can you believe how packed it is tonight?”
“I know.”
“Graham called in Simon to help out tonight. He should be here in a bit.”
“Good. Hopefully Harper gets here soon. She’s got a huge crowd to play for. She was supposed to be here by now.”
“Oh, didn’t Graham tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Harper called a while ago. She’s not coming in. I guess she’s sick, or something.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
Kiley pulled her cell phone from her pocket and checked for any missed calls. There were none. “Why didn’t she call me?”
“I don’t know. Hey, can you grab table nine?”
Distracted and dejected, Kiley slowly put her phone away. “Sure.”
CHAPTER 19
Emily knew she would eventually have to come face to face with this. She enjoyed the half hour walk on the way over. The afternoon sun was warm on her back, but the breeze felt nice on her face. Walking gave her time to think and reflect and prepare herself for what she was about to walk into. When she reached the door of her destination, she took a deep breath and braced herself before opening it. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim light after being outside in the bright sun for so long. She looked around for any sign of life.
“Hello?”
Emily took a few more steps in as the door closed behind her.
“Hello? Graham?”
Graham peeked his head out of the back office of the bar. “Well, shit.”
Emily smirked and gave him a half wave as Graham disappeared back into the room to finish what he was doing only to reappear thirty seconds later.
“Emily, is that really you?”
“It’s really me.”
“You’ve been back for over four months and you’re just now coming to see me?”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just wasn’t ready to see anyone yet.”
“Well come here. Give me a hug.” He gave her one of his infamous bear hugs, then stood back to look at her. “You look good. Taller. A bit on the skinny side, though. You need to eat more.”
“So I’ve been told. Harper’s been stuffing my face since I got back.”
Graham came out from behind the bar and pulled out a chair at a table near Emily. “Have a seat. Can I get you something?”
“Ginger ale.”
“You got it. Grenadine?”
“Nah. Just straight up.”
Graham prepared her drink while watching Emily fiddle with her hands. He hadn’t seen her in a couple years, but she still looked every bit like her parents. She had her mother’s hair, her father’s eyes, a mixture of both their complexions.
“You know, I’m just gonna come out and say it and get it out of the way. I’m not gonna let you get off that easy.”
Emily nodded. “Bring it on.”
“You hurt a lot of people when you left.”
“I know. I’m sorry. All I can really do is apologize.”
Graham came back around with the ginger ale and took a seat next to her. “You know, after you were born, I promised your parents I’d look after the two of you. I don’t like breaking my promises.”
Emily took a sip of her drink. The ginger ale’s effervescence helped calm her nervous stomach.
“I know you don’t.” Emily’s guilt was warranted. She knew Graham had lost two good friends when her parents passed away. He was her father’s college buddy and best man at their wedding. He was there for Harper’s birth and Emily’s baptism. He would babysit them whenever their parents needed a night away from their two young children. And being a confirmed bachelor, Graham often spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with them if he had nowhere to go.
“Well, you’re back now,” said Graham. “And you’re probably getting enough guilt from Harper, so I’ll go easy on you. How are you two doing, by the way?”
“Me and Harper? Better than we were. Surprisingly well, actually. I think we’re slowly getting there. I think she’s starting to trust me again.”
“So…where were you?”
“Lots of different places. I stayed with friends.”
“What friends? You were born and raised here.”
Emily slurped up the last of the ginger ale. “I kind of don’t want to get into it if that’s all right with you.”
Graham nodded. “But you’re okay?”
She used her straw to dig the cherry out of the glass. “Yeah. I am. Best I’ve been in a long time.”
The dim room suddenly filled with natural sunlight as the front door opened to reveal two giggly girls in the midst of a conversation.
“Hey Graham,” said Erin. “Kiley and I are here for our paychecks.” Erin stopped when she realized Graham had company. “Oh, hi. You must be Harper’s sister.”
“How did you know?”
“You look like a younger version of her. Only more blonde.”
Emily laughed. “I get that a lot.” She looked over at Erin’s accomplice. “Hey Kiley.”
“Hey.” Kiley hung back, waiting for Graham to grab their paychecks.
Graham took that as his cue. “I’ll be right back.”
“Actually, I should get going,” said Emily. “I just wanted to stop by and say hi. But I’ll come by again soon.” She got up to give Graham a hug.
“You better. Ladies, just give me a minute. I’ll be back with your easy-earned money.”
As Graham disappeared, Emily rifled through her purse to make sure she had everything.
Erin took a seat on one of the bar stools. Sensing the tension between Emily and Kiley, she thought she’d try to lighten the mood. “So you actually took that guy home last night?”
“Yup,” replied Kiley.
“Shocking,” mumbled Emily.
Kiley heard the snide remark, but chose to ignore it.
“My God. Your bed sees more action in a week than mine has since I bought it five years ago,” said Erin.
“It’s just sex. It’s not that big a deal.”
“He wasn’t even your type,” declared Erin.
“You mean he didn’t have a pulse?” asked Emily.
Kiley decided to react to that one. “What is your problem?”
“Who me?” asked Emily, innocently.
“Yes. You think I can’t hear you?”
“I’m not trying to be subtle.”
Feeling uncomfortable, Erin got up and headed to the back office. “I’m gonna go see what’s keeping Graham.”
Neither Kiley nor Emily paid any attention to Erin. They were locked down in a staring contest with each other, neither of them wanting to break first.
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“You need to check yourself. Seriously. You have no right to talk to me like that,” said Kiley. “My personal life is my business.”
“Oh and you haven’t been butting your nose in my business?”
“Um, no, I don’t believe I have.”
“Oh please, I know you’ve been dying to find out where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing.”
“Okay, maybe I have, but I know it’s none of my business. And at least I’m not acting like a spoiled little shit.”
“What?”
“You bailed on Harper and then show up walking around like a wounded little puppy. You’re a brat.”
“A brat?”
“Yeah. Okay, I admit I sleep with a lot of guys, but at least I’m not being self-destructive. You don’t see me running off and doing drugs. You had a perfect, normal life and started screwing up and hating everyone. Even yourself.”
Emily slammed her hand down on the bar, venting her frustration. “I kind of went through a tragic event, Kiley.”
“I know. But you started doing that shit before they even died, so I really don’t think you can use that defense.”
“Well what about you?” It was time for Emily to turn the tables.
Kiley scoffed. “What about me?”
“Look at you. You think you don’t hate yourself? You’re the most self-loathing person I know. You fuck every guy who pays you the least bit of attention. And you don’t even care. You don’t give a shit about what it can do to your psyche, and you obviously don’t care about how much it obviously upsets Harper.”
Whatever Kiley was preparing to say next screeched to a halt. “Wait, why would Harper care?”
Emily shook her head and started heading out the door. “Just forget about it.”
Kiley grabbed her arm. “Seriously, why would Harper care?”
Emily jerked away from Kiley’s grip. “She doesn’t care. No one cares what you do, Kiley. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go run off and do drugs.”
Kiley watched Emily walk out. The room became bright and dull again as the door closed. Kiley was shaken by her encounter with Emily. She couldn’t remember the last time she raised her voice like that, but she’s pretty sure it took place in her car after being cut off three times in a row. She began to feel guilty about everything she said to Harper’s sister and had no idea where it came from. She pulled out her phone, but instead of dialing Harper’s number, she just stared at the keypad until the numbers became a jumbled mess.
***
Kiley lie on her back on Harper’s bed pretending to peruse the wedding planning book Harper brought home from work. She was on the chapter of the maid of honor’s responsibilities when her mind wandered. This was the third Ingrid Michaelson song in a row that Harper’s iPod was blaring from the dock speakers and Kiley found herself humming along as she looked around. Harper’s room was always a fun place to be because there was always something interesting to look at. Being awake most nights, Harper had to be visually stimulated at all times. There were framed posters of different movies from All About Eve to Rebel Without a Cause. There were music posters of Michael Jackson, The Beatles and a few bands that Kiley never would have heard of had it not been for Harper. Her desk was cluttered with guitar picks, tuners, strings, old copies of Spin magazine and even a few non-music related items like a giant bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups and her laptop. Her bookshelf was full of all the classics: Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and some modern classics like The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Da Vinci Code and The Help. Kiley always felt rather inferior to Harper when it came to her knowledge of books. Her attention span was more suitable for shorter reads like magazines or Dr. Seuss books.
It had been a year and a half since Harper’s parents died and Emily was long gone by this point. Harper was tired of putting off the planning. Last year after everything settled down a bit, she and Finn had finally set a date and now the wedding was just seven months away. Harper flipped through the pages of her bridal magazine. Frustrated, she finally closed it and moved on to the next one.
“I’m never gonna find the right kind of dress.”
Harper’s words brought Kiley back to the here and now. “Well, you said you wanted something simple. Long, white, spaghetti straps, right?”
“Yeah, but all of these are strapless. I can’t do strapless. It’s annoying.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll find the perfect dress for you. Even if we have to hit every wedding shop in town. And trust me, there are a lot.”
“It feels weird.”
“What?”
“Planning all this. You know…without my parents. My mom was supposed to take me dress shopping and my dad was supposed to pretend to whine and moan about how much it was costing him until I batted my eyelashes at him and he gave in. And Emily should be here complaining every minute about how this is lame and how she’s blowing off her friends for a stupid dress fitting.”
Kiley rolled over on her stomach. She was starting to feel a bit remorseful about not whole-heartedly putting all of her effort into helping her friend plan this wedding. It was difficult, though. She didn’t quite understand why. She chalked it up to fear of losing her best friend. “Well, you have me. And we’re in this. I won’t rest until we find you the perfect dress. And the perfect location. And the perfect color scheme. Or if you want, we can even postpone it for a while longer if you’re not ready. Finn would understand.”
“No. I’ve been putting this off for too long. I mean, we’ve been engaged for two years. It’s time to move on. The sooner I start my new life, the sooner I can let go of my old one.”
Kiley nodded solemnly, but didn’t say anything as a Joshua Radin song filled her ears.
“I just have no idea what I’m doing,” continued Harper.
“You don’t have to know just yet. I think it’s kind of a ‘learn as you go’ kind of deal. The only time you need to worry about knowing what to do is AFTER the wedding. You know… wink-wink, nudge-nudge.”
“I think I’ve got that covered.”
“Oh, and during the honeymoon. That’s important. You’ll probably be too exhausted on your wedding night to do anything, so save it all for the honeymoon.”
“Oh don’t worry. Lots of sex will be had,” said Harper.
Kiley bit her lip to keep herself from saying something and decided a subject change was needed. “Well, you better not put me in a hideous maid of honor dress. I look awesome in blue, purple, or burgundy. Are you writing this down? This is important. I don’t want a strapless dress, either. My average sized chest doesn’t need to feel inferior to your ample bosom.”
“You’re a C, too,” replied Harper.
“I’m a solid B and you know it,” informed Kiley.
“Isn’t this day supposed to be about me?”
“Uh, you’re guaranteed to be going home with a guy at the end of the night. I need a guarantee, too.”
“You’re really going to spend my wedding day picking up a guy?”
“No, I’ll be getting a guy to pick ME up.”
The disappointed look on Harper’s face said it all.
“But not before I see to it that all of your needs and demands are met throughout the day. I won’t forget my duties. Don’t worry,” assured Kiley. “Let’s just try to do this one step at a time. Where do you want the wedding to take place?”
“Well, Finn wants it in a church.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
“Well, I just always pictured you having an outdoor wedding.”
Harper smiled. “You know me too well. That’s exactly what I want. In a vineyard.”
“Ooh, a vineyard would be perfect! You could have the reception in a tasting room or a nearby barn or something. We can deck it out with lights and lanterns.”
“Wow, this is the most animated I’ve seen you abo
ut this whole thing. That’s exactly what I want, but Finn wants it in a hotel ballroom.”
“That’s a bit trite.”
“I know. But I figure maybe I can at least negotiate full control over the music we have.”
“Yeah, but what about the rest of it? What about what you want? Is he even taking that into consideration?”
“Well, my family’s not around and his family is really traditional. I think he just wants to make his mom happy.”
“I’m pretty sure his goal should be making YOU happy. Ugh, he’s such a mama’s boy. Are you sure you want to be doing this?”
Harper stared at the young woman modeling the white dress in the magazine in front of her. She heard Kiley’s question, but was still trying to formulate an answer.
“Harper? It was a joke. A stupid joke. Of course you want to marry him.”
Harper looked blankly at Kiley. “Yeah.”
Kiley sat up, took the magazine from Harper and tossed it to the floor. “Okay, I think it’s time for a break. You’re on wedding-planning overload. Let’s go grab a burger or something.”
“But—”
“But nothing. I’m hungry. We can discuss the reception playlist on the way.”
***
“Kiley?”
“Huh?”
“I’ve been saying your name for the last five minutes,” informed Erin. “Here’s your paycheck.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Emily just tends to get under my skin.”
“So I noticed. What’s her deal?”
Kiley shrugged. “She thinks she knows everything.”
CHAPTER 20
Kiley had been putting off this day for as long as she could, but figured it was finally time to pay her parents a visit. She made the dreaded hour-and-a-half trek out to Ojai and sat in her car in front of her old house for a good ten minutes until she ultimately got out. Before opening the front door, she grabbed the mail that was bursting out of the mailbox and strewn onto the porch. With her hands full of envelopes, magazines and junk mail, she walked in to find her mom sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. She could hear the TV in the living room playing the football game. Kiley put the mail down on the table and gave her mom a one-armed hug.
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