by Golden Angel
Something about him seemed nervous. Less self-assured than yesterday when he’d come in. She still enjoyed seeing him, even if it was harder for her to forget he actually partially owned the building.
Then again, maybe that was part of the fun? There was some small part of her that wanted to dominate him in his own space. If this space wasn’t also her job, she wouldn’t have hesitated to make that particular fantasy come true.
“How are you feeling today?” she asked, studying him back just as intently as he was her. The little break in his usual confident personality had her a bit concerned. While she liked making him a little uneasy, she didn’t want him to actually be uncomfortable with her… although, if he was, better to find out now rather than later.
He only hesitated a moment before answering, but she still saw it. “Fine.”
Olivia raised her eyebrow at him.
Shrugging uncomfortably, he leaned back against his seat. “Still processing a little.”
“That’s pretty normal,” she said sympathetically. As attracted as she was to Luke, that didn’t mean he was going to be the right kind of submissive for her and she had to do what was best for him. All of her usual teaching instincts kicked right. “You’re completely new to all of this and it’s going to take some time to learn what you do and don’t like. The important thing is you feel comfortable telling the dominant you’re working with if they’re pushing you too far or you don’t like something they’re doing and that you take the time to learn your boundaries.”
“Trust me, Scarlet, not liking it is not the problem,” he said with a wry grin.
Ah. So they were at that point in the process. Olivia kept her amusement under wraps. Luke was so cocky, so self-assured, she’d wondered when—and if—he’d even hit this point. Even with his struggle to submit his will to hers, it would have been entirely possible for him to never feel any doubt about his desires.
“Also very normal,” she reassured him, and didn’t miss the quick expression of relief that flitted across his face. Satisfaction curled through her. If liking it wasn’t the problem, that meant he just needed to get his head around it. Which meant she’d done a damn good job. Still, she hoped he’d be able to work through it mentally. Not everyone could.
******
“Really?” Luke asked, unable to keep his relief out of his voice.
“Oh yes, entering into the lifestyle is something that causes a lot of people to question themselves, who they are as a person. Male, female, dominant, submissive, switch. Dominants and sadists struggle with the idea that they aren’t supposed to enjoy bossing someone around or hurting them. Submissives struggle with giving up their autonomy, their self-control, to someone else. Honestly, I’m not sure which gender has it harder. Men are taught to be in control most of their lives or they’re not a man, but for women they’re taught that if they give up control to a man they’re supporting the patriarchy and a lot of them worry they’re betraying all women by doing so.”
Luke blinked.
He honestly hadn’t really thought about it that way. In fact, he’d kind of assumed the female subs in the class had it a little easier. No one would see them as less feminine for wanting to be spanked or having their asses played with. Granted, there would be the prudes who would judge them for other reasons, but he hadn’t thought their struggle would really be similar to his.
It sounded like their own anxieties about submitting might be not quite the same, but close. Just sitting here talking to Olivia he could feel his own anxieties easing. Or maybe that was just his attraction to her talking.
“If you have any questions, there are several male submissives at Stronghold who would be happy to talk to you,” Olivia said. The smile on her face was purely professional, rather than intimate, which Luke wasn’t a fan of but some part of him still kind of liked it… this was the mother hen side of her that came out when she was dealing with any of the submissives in Stronghold. He’d seen it. Which meant she now considered him one of hers too. Just maybe not in the special way he was aiming for.
“I’ve already talked with some of them.” Which was true. He just hadn’t talked to them about this, because he hadn’t known at the time… But that didn’t mean he couldn’t now.
“Good. I’ve also got a list of good websites you can visit,” she said, standing and walking over to the filing cabinet along the wall. Luke stood as well, too well-mannered to continue sitting while a lady was standing, enjoying the way her gray slacks outlined the curve of her ass as she moved. “I printed out some lists a few days ago, just to have on hand.”
“Smart,” he said, smiling at her as she turned around. “Ma’am.”
Her mouth twisted in the way it did around him, hiding the smile she didn’t want him to see. Her eyes swept down his body and then back up to his face.
Striding forward, she tilted her head back as she came closer, invading his personal space. Not that he minded. His heart was already starting to race, his cock swelling slightly as she halted a few inches away from him, head tilting back slightly to keep her silver gaze locked with his.
“Don’t start something you’re already not sure you can finish,” she murmured, placing the sheet of paper against his chest. Luke snaked his hand up, covering the back of hers with his palm and holding her there.
“I might not be entirely ready, but I won’t know if I can finish until we get there. I know I want to. My end goal is still the same.”
Her. He wanted her.
He wanted to learn how to submit, wanted a bossy woman in the bedroom… but now he also wanted so much more. The heights of ecstasy she’d brought him to last night. The shocking intimacy. The way she’d played with him, teased him, and made him hyper aware of every inch of his body.
The opportunity to be with her again sent his doubts, his insecurities crawling away. Who cared if he enjoyed having his ass played with? She liked that he liked it. She wanted to do it some more. He wanted her to.
So fuck it, right?
When her hand snaked up around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, saying ‘fuck it’ to the niggling, insecure thoughts in his head definitely seemed like the right move. He knew they might return once he left her presence again, the way they had before, but right now he didn’t care.
He wanted her.
He could search his feelings later.
******
Playing with fire.
That’s what this was.
But when Luke threw down the challenge, she’d met it. Wanted to meet it.
Very likely she was making poor choices but…
Damn the man could kiss. And taking control of him, kissing him here in the middle of her office, her space that was really his space… yeah there was something about that which got her motor running. Maybe because she still didn’t like that he was technically her boss, and exerting some dominance over him right here and now gave her a little thrill. After all, this was a place of his business and yet here he was letting her take control.
Olivia moved into him, their bodies pressing together, his hand still covering hers on his chest while the other moved around her waist. He groaned into the kiss, sending her own arousal soaring. Last night had not been enough. Not nearly enough.
The knock on the door made both of them jump, but when Michael opened it a second later—without waiting for her to say come in—it was pretty obvious what had been going on.
“Oops,” said Michael, a wide grin spreading over his face as his eyes darted between the two of them. They’d both dropped their hands down but were standing far too close together. And she was pretty sure he’d seen a little bit of what they were doing before she and Luke had separated.
Olivia narrowed her eyes at him.
“Yes? Can I help you?” Her voice was like ice. Beside her, Luke shifted uncomfortably at her best unhappy Domme voice.
Looking sheepish, Michael glanced down at the laptop he’d carried upstairs. “I can come back later…”
> “No, not if this is business related,” Olivia said, tugging on the bottom of her shirt and re-exerting her professional persona. The humming arousal in her blood didn’t go away, but she ignored it. She was at work. This wasn’t the play office at Stronghold. And Luke still had some thinking to do. “Luke was just on his way out… unless you think he needs to see this too?”
“If you want to,” Michael said, looking at Luke as he took a hesitant step into the room.
“No, it’s fine, like Olivia said, I was just leaving.” The blank expression on Luke’s face said he was unhappy.
She wasn’t feeling too thrilled herself, but she was at work and that was going to come first. Putting off actual work just to flirt and play around with Luke was not a priority. Especially when she really should give him time to think before playing with him again anyway.
An hour later, Michael left her office and she checked her phone. It had been blowing up that morning as word about her car got around to her friends, and she’d ended up putting it on mute so she still checked it every once in a while, and send out responses in a burst rather than being constantly interrupted. She didn’t worry about anyone thinking she wasn’t okay—tell one and the rest of them would know within minutes since they were all talking to each other too.
To no one’s surprise, the group chat with the other Stronghold ladies was going strong.
Angel: We need to have a girls’ night everyone can come to! Come visit me in my prison?
Leigh: Could you be any more dramatic?
Angel: Challenge Accepted.
Leigh: That wasn’t a challenge!!!!
Angel: NO ONE LOVES ME! YOU ALL WENT OUT WITHOUT MEEEEEEE!!!!! I’M SO DEPRIVED!!!!!
Jessica: So girls’ night at Angel’s on Saturday?
Angel: See, Jessica loves me. Why don’t you love me Leigh?
Sharon: I’ll bring the booze.
Maria: I can come this time, I’ve got snacks.
Hilary: I’m in! I think Liam’s going to organize a guys’ night for them.
Lexie: Just as long as they don’t crash our party at Adam and Angel’s. Patrick says I can come.
Leigh: I’ll bring some snacks too, Maria, so you don’t have to cover everything.
Angel: Leigh, why don’t you love me?
Kate: Sweet! I can make it too!
Ellie: Me too! Can I bring anything?
Sharon: Woo-hoo! The subbies are all in! Is Olivia still not answering her texts?
Maria: Bring anything you want Ellie! There can never be too much food or booze for a girl’s night.
Angel: LEIGH! ANSWER ME! WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME?!
Leigh: OMG, I LOVE YOU OKAY?!
Angel: I know.
Lexie: LMAO. This is going to be fun. I can tell.
Angel: Oliiiiiiiiiivia. Are you coming? If you don’t come I’m going to feel unloved.
Leigh: And Lord knows you don’t want that.
Jessica: Do you two need to get laid or something?
Maria: Shh. No more talking until Olivia replies.
Chuckling, Olivia tapped her reply into her phone and hit send.
Olivia: I’m in.
She set her phone down on her desk. Face down, to cover the screen as it immediately started lighting up with replies.
Crazy bitches.
Donation more $10, download any books in one month
Chapter 11
Tuesday night, Olivia put him with Mistress Lisa again.
Not that there was anything wrong with that per se… but it wasn’t exactly what he’d wanted. Obviously. He’d hoped she would decide to stand in as her instructor herself. Everything was easier when he was with her; his self-doubts lowered, the anxieties nagging at him subsided… he stopped caring what other people might think about him being dominated, how they might perceive him.
When he went to her office after class to ask her, she told him she didn’t want to mix his training up with whatever was going on with them. New submissives could have trouble sorting through their emotions for their first dominant and their emotions about kink in general.
He’d scowled. She’d just given him a pointed look and asked in a purring, sultry voice if he was ready to give up his ass to her.
Which had made his cock surge and his sphincter tighten at the same time, and when he hadn’t been able to immediately answer in the affirmative, she’d just nodded her head, gray eyes full of understanding, but also disappointment. Olivia wasn’t going to do more with him unless he was all in… he thought he could be but… Whenever he was away from her his doubts would grow again. Nag at him. He’d wonder if he’d imagined how much he’d liked the anal play. Then cringe when he admitted to himself he definitely hadn’t imagined it, or it wouldn’t be disturbing him so much now. It was like an itch in the back of his brain and he just wanted her to play with him so that itch would go away again, the way it had before when he could just focus on her and not on the little thoughts pricking at him like tiny, doubting needles.
When Nick made a crack at him on Wednesday, asking him if Olivia had made him her bitch yet, he’d snapped back at his brother and hung up on him. Nick had called back immediately, apologizing, but it had only emphasized Luke’s own discomfort with everything. The obnoxious, tiny but intrusive voice in the back of his head that said he shouldn’t have liked everything Olivia did to him so much.
It was easy to stomp that voice down when he was in her presence.
Not so easy when he wasn’t and his brother was teasing him without knowing it had become a touchy subject.
Going online helped, but it wasn’t the same as talking to someone in person. While it was reassuring to know he wasn’t the only one who was having these thoughts, it wasn’t like he knew any of the people talking. Going by some of the advice being handed out, he wasn’t even sure some of them were actually into kink or just playing at it. Definitely the guy calling himself MasterAssSucker3000 and telling people to open their minds and holes or be forever trapped in bourgeois sex lives (whatever that meant) did not inspire confidence.
After accepting his brother’s apology, he took Molly for a run to work off some energy. Fifty pounds of brown, fluffy excitement, she was more than happy to give him a serious workout and then snuggle with him on the couch while he watched bladesmiths competing to be named master of the forge or something. Unfortunately, as awesome as his dog was, she couldn’t exactly give him any advice or reassurance either—although she was a very good listener.
So on Thursday, after another class with Mistress Lisa and another round of feeling awkward and uncomfortable unless Olivia came by to watch them, Luke headed to Stronghold.
Despite what Olivia had said about the other women in the class struggling with similar issues, Luke just couldn’t bring himself to talk to any of them. Domi and Rae were friendly but kind of their own little unit, Samantha kept to herself in general, and Morgan… well, Morgan was not the type of woman he could see befriending or confiding in. She was too wrapped up in appearances and flirting.
He’d meant to go into the club and see if Charlie was there—Charlie was a submissive who usually scened with male dominants but occasionally with Olivia when she asked him to. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to talking to one of Olivia’s main scene partners, even if he happened to know she hadn’t scened with him in a while (thank you, club gossip), but he needed to talk to someone.
But when he walked into the lobby and saw Freddy behind the desk, he paused. Considered.
“Hey Luke!” Freddy said cheerfully, looking up from the computer. In his mid-twenties, Freddy was a staple of Stronghold. He basically ran the front desk now that Lexie was usually helping Patrick with other things and everyone knew he was submissive. With his love of fashion and flamboyant manners, those who didn’t know him often assumed he was gay, but Luke had only seen Freddy scene with Dommes since he’d started coming to the club.
“Hey Freddy,” Luke said, coming forward and taking off his coat.
/> He’d changed after class, as usual, so he was wearing his regular jeans and company t-shirt. Freddy gave him a look and Luke sheepishly tugged the shirt over his head as well before also taking off his shoes and handing them to Freddy. Since Luke was now training as a submissive he was also technically supposed to look the part when at Stronghold, even if he wasn’t going to be playing for the evening.
As Freddy took Luke’s things, Luke hesitated.
“Freddy…” His voice trailed off as he tried to think about what he wanted to say. Could say.
Pausing in his duties, Freddy looked up at Luke, blue eyes curious. Taking in Luke’s expression and the way he shifted uncomfortably back and forth on his feet, the other male submissive seemed to immediately understand.
“You look like you need someone to talk to,” Freddy said, his voice lifting slightly on the end of the sentence to make it sound more like a question.
“Yeah… but, you’re working,” Luke said, still feeling uncomfortable. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Freddy specifically; he didn’t really want to talk to anyone about his insecurities. Just the thought of saying them out loud made them sound stupid in his head. He had a feeling Freddy would be pretty easy to talk to, but part of him wanted to put off talking period.
“Give me a sec,” Freddy said, flashing Luke a reassuring smile before picking up the desk phone. Luke had a fleeting thought about running away… but Freddy had already taken his coat, shirt, and shoes. If he’d brought in the club clothes he’d worn during class at Marquis he would have been able to change in the locker room rather than effectively trapping himself by handing over his stuff. Freddy smiled at Luke as he started speaking to whoever had picked up the phone. “Hey hun, can you come cover the front desk for me for a bit? I have a subbie in need of a talk.”
Luke tried not to feel weird about being called a subbie. He didn’t think any less of the other submissives when they were called by the affectionate diminutive, so he didn’t know why he had the odd worry that others would think less of him for being called a subbie. Then again, his nagging worry about what others might think of him were part of why he’d wanted to talk to someone in the first place, second only to his worry over struggling with submitting.
