Mum set down her teacup on the table beside her. “Come now. Tell me your troubles, and I’ll do my best to give you an honest opinion.”
Rylan pushed to his feet and paced to the window overlooking his mother’s back garden. A profusion of wildflowers coated the yard with color.
“Do you know why I went into the priesthood, Mum?” he asked, his back to her.
“Because you had the calling.”
He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Not exactly.” He paused to watch a butterfly flit from bloom to bloom. “I made a bargain with God when you were so sick years ago. That if He cured you, I’d give my life to His service.” Rylan turned from the window with a smile. “A price I was more than happy to pay.”
“Oh, Rylan.” Moisture rimmed her pale eyes.
“Once I made my decision, I never looked back. I was happy in the seminary, happy to devote myself to shepherding God’s people.”
“What happened to change that?”
Mum always could see right through him. He came to sit on the lumpy sofa again, his hands clasped over his knees as though he were praying. “I met a woman . . . one of Cousin Kathleen’s daughters, and without meaning to . . .” He inhaled deeply and released a long breath. “I fell in love with her.”
His mother reached over to grip his hands as silent tears coursed down her thin cheeks. She said nothing—only squeezed his fingers in gentle understanding.
“I don’t know what to do. I’ve been on a retreat for a month trying to determine God’s will for my life, but nothing is clear. No matter how hard I pray, no answers are forthcoming.” He choked back the emotion rising in his throat and looked to his mother, the fountain of his strength. “Why is God silent, Mum? Why am I not hearing His answer?”
She patted his knee. “Perhaps you’re trying too hard. What does your heart tell you?”
The simple answer reverberated in his soul. “My heart aches . . . for Colleen. I love her so much it hurts.”
His mother’s features softened, and a smile trembled on her lips. “I think you have your answer, lad.”
“But how can I go back on the promise I made to God?”
His mother placed a gnarled hand on his cheek. “God would never hold you to such a promise if it’s the wrong thing for you. There are many ways to serve God without being a priest.”
“But what about you?” he asked sadly. “Won’t you be terribly disappointed?” Guilt and fear squeezed his lungs. After everything his mother had done for him, he couldn’t bear to let her down.
“The only thing I’ve ever wanted for my children is for them to find joy in whatever they do. If this woman makes you happy, then that’s good enough for me.”
He slumped back against the cushions of the sofa. “But what will I do with my life if I leave the seminary? How will I make a living? I have nothing to offer her.”
His mother chuckled. “One step at a time, my boy. While you’re here, use the time to get back to your roots and discover the things you love. Talk to your brothers. Talk to Father Reginald. And we’ll all pray for you.”
Rylan smiled a true smile for the first time in weeks. He felt lighter, more certain he was coming close to the right decision. He leaned over to kiss his mother’s cheek. “Thank you, Mum. With your connection to the Almighty, I know I’ll get an answer at last.”
Colleen stepped onto the back porch, letting the cool breeze fan her face. She’d finished reading Deirdre a bedtime story and now found herself at loose ends. Not tired enough to go to bed, where endless thoughts of Rylan would chase around her head like squirrels in a tree, she hoped the quiet sounds of the farm at night would soothe her soul.
She descended the stairs and wandered down the path toward the barn, noting how the bright moon illuminated the meadows in the distance. The flare of a match drew her attention to the fence where Gil stood, inhaling a thin cigar—the same type Daddy sometimes smoked.
“Hello, Gil.” She came to stand beside him. “Is it okay to share the fence with you? I don’t want to cause any more trouble with my sister.”
His jaw hardened. “Your sister had better learn not to jump to conclusions every time I speak to a woman.”
The evening breeze ruffled her skirts about her ankles and blew some strands of hair across her face. How she wished Rylan were here to share this moment with her. She watched Gil blow out a long puff of smoke. “Since you rarely smoke except when you’re upset, I’d say something’s on your mind.”
“You could say that.”
“Business or Brianna?”
He shot a glance at her. “A bit of both, but mostly Brianna.”
“She didn’t apologize to you?” It had been more than a week since their conversation, and Colleen assumed Bree had taken her advice.
“She did. I’m just not sure I’ve accepted it.” He poked a boot in the dirt. “Until she gets over her insecurities, she’ll never be able to fully trust me. And without trust, we can’t build a future.”
Colleen leaned over the top rail of the fence, breathing in the night air. “It’s mostly my fault, you know,” she said quietly. “I’m not proud to admit it, but I’ve always gone after everything she’s ever wanted . . . including you.” Regret moved through her at the realization of just how deeply her selfish actions had affected her sister.
He peered at her in the darkness. “Why is that?”
She sensed no judgment, only curiosity, in Gil’s tone.
“I guess I was jealous of how perfect Bree was, jealous of her intelligence and how easily everyone loved her.” She shrugged. “I’ve tried to make amends, but I suppose it’s hard to believe I’ve changed.”
“I guess falling for a priest would make anyone find their conscience in a hurry.”
She gave a reluctant laugh. “True.”
“Any advice on how to convince Brianna my feelings for her are real?”
She threw him an arch look. “Other than the obvious?”
“Which is?”
“Ask her to marry you. What better way to prove you love her and make her feel secure?”
He frowned. “I can’t do that without your father’s approval. The first time I asked, he sent me off to Manhattan.”
So Daddy had opposed Gil and Bree’s relationship. Leaning against the wooden fence, Colleen studied him. “Have you tried lately? I imagine almost dying could change a man’s perspective on things.”
“I’ve thought the same thing myself.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
He paused, frowning. “What if he still refuses?”
“Will you really let Daddy stand in your way?” She crossed her arms. “It’s plain you two love each other. That’s worth a little disapproval, don’t you think?”
“Not if your father disowns Brianna. I couldn’t live with causing a rift in the family.”
“Trust me. Daddy may bellow like a bull, but he’s a softy when it comes to the women in his life. And besides, Mama would never let him get away with it.”
A ripple of unease ran through her at the possibility of facing the same battle with Daddy over Rylan. Yet she knew in her heart she would do whatever it took to marry Rylan—if she ever got the chance.
35
YOU’RE HAVING BREAKFAST with us today! What a wonderful surprise.” Brianna bent to kiss her father’s cheek, happy to see him seated at his rightful spot at the head of the table, his morning paper and coffee in hand.
She stepped over to kiss her mother, who looked better than she had since before Daddy’s illness. Color bloomed in her cheeks, and the lines around her eyes had faded.
“The doctor said your father could use the stairs, as long as someone helps him and he takes it slow.” She beamed at her husband.
“Did you have to tell them that part?” He growled like a grumpy lion, but Brianna caught him winking at her mother.
Harmony seemed to be restored in the O’Leary house, and Brianna basked in the glow. Connor and Deirdre giggled a
t a private joke, while Gil attacked his sausage with gusto.
Brianna had taken her first sip of coffee when Colleen entered the room, stifling a yawn. “Good morning, everyone.” Her eyes widened. “Daddy! You’re here.”
“That I am, darlin’. It’s good to be back with my family.” His smile encompassed the whole table, dimming only momentarily when his glance fell on Adam’s empty chair.
Brianna scooped a spoonful of eggs, trying to ignore Gil’s gaze. She still didn’t know if her father had had a chance to propose the idea of a partnership to him. If so, Gil hadn’t mentioned anything to her about it. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding her lately. She thought he’d accepted her apology, but perhaps he’d decided he wasn’t able to forgive her after all.
Either that or he was punishing her for her lack of faith in him.
She looked up from her plate to find her father staring at her.
“So, Brianna, I hear you’ve been accompanying Colleen to the orphanage.”
“Yes, and I’m enjoying it very much. The children are a delight.”
“Speaking of the orphanage, what has become of young Rylan? Wasn’t he supposed to be around for another month or two?”
Colleen’s fork clattered to the ground, and she hastily bent to retrieve it.
“He got word that his mother was ill and had to return to Ireland.” Brianna hoped her father would let it go at that. Her mother, however, was another story.
“Cousin Beatrice is ill? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Mama looked from Brianna to Colleen, whose face had gone red and then white.
Since her sister appeared incapable of speech, Brianna jumped in again. “I’m sorry, Mama. I thought Rylan told you.”
Mama frowned. “No, the last time I spoke with him in any detail was at the hospital, but he didn’t mention anything about his mother. He did seem upset. Said something about a crisis of faith and that he was heading back to Boston.”
James set his cup down with a thud. “Boston? Brianna said he was in Ireland.”
Colleen appeared near tears.
Brianna sighed. “Daddy, it’s not such a mystery. Rylan went back to Boston for a spiritual retreat, and while there, he got word about his mother. I’m sure he’ll be back as soon as she’s better.” Brianna’s soothing tone seemed to allay Daddy’s suspicions.
Colleen had better sort out this mess sooner rather than later. Or at least tell her parents what had happened between her and Rylan.
“Other than helping at this orphanage, what have you girls been doing? Any hope of one of you finding a decent man to marry?”
Brianna glanced at Colleen, who grew paler by the minute.
Mama gave Daddy a stern look. “James, it’s your first day back with the family. Don’t start badgering everyone.”
Brianna took a deep breath. No time like the present to get her intentions out in the open and maybe diffuse the talk of marriage. “I, for one, will be starting college next week,” she said brightly. “Aunt Fiona called to say I’ve been accepted at Barnard Hall.”
Silence filled the room. Brianna lifted her head to find her family staring at her in numb surprise. “Why is everyone so shocked? You knew I planned to enroll.” She gave her father a nervous glance. His mouth pressed into a disapproving line, but he remained blessedly silent.
Mama blinked. “I thought you’d changed your mind since coming home.”
“No, Mama,” Brianna said gently. “I came back to help out, but I always intended to return to Aunt Fiona’s. I’ll be leaving right after Labor Day.”
Gil’s chair scraped the floor as he pushed abruptly away from the table. “Excuse me, but I have work to do.” His jaw rock hard, he strode from the room without looking at her.
Brianna’s stomach sank. She pushed her half-eaten plate of eggs away, no longer hungry. Why was her attending college such a contentious issue for everyone? And why did Gil suddenly seem angry that she was leaving? Hadn’t he encouraged her to pursue her dream?
Connor and Deirdre took the opportunity to excuse themselves from the table, scampering out of the room just as Mrs. Johnston bustled in with the morning mail. The housekeeper smiled at Daddy as she set the stack in front of him. “Good day, Mr. O’Leary. We’re pleased to have you back in your proper place.”
“Thank you, Alice. Is that my mail?”
“Yes, sir.” She pulled one envelope from the pile. “All except this one for Miss Colleen.”
Daddy’s eyes narrowed on the postmark. “Why would Colleen be receiving mail from Ireland?”
Colleen’s initial burst of pleasure at receiving any type of correspondence from Rylan faded into terror. How was she going to explain this? She wasn’t ready to tell her parents about her feelings for Rylan.
Mama looked wary. “Is it from Cousin Rylan?”
Colleen pretended to study the address. “Why, yes it is. He’s probably writing for news about the children. He’ll want to know how little Delia’s doing.”
Her heart thumped painfully in her chest. Did her parents see through her sketchy explanation? It must be painfully obvious from her blush and her stammering that she was hiding something.
“Well, open it, dear.” Mama set down her cup. “I want to hear what he says about his mother’s condition.”
Colleen’s fingers whitened around the envelope. What if it was bad news? What if Rylan had written to say he was staying in Ireland for good?
Dear God, how am I going to get out of this?
She bit her bottom lip and broke the seal on the envelope. She’d skim to the part about his mother, then find an excuse to leave the room. Aware of every eye on her, she pulled out the page, unfolded it, and scanned the script. Relief spilled through her. “His mother is much improved, and”—her heart gave an excited leap—“he’s coming home.”
“Home?”
“I mean back to New York.” Colleen held back a cry of joy. “He says he’s sailing on the RMS Olympic on the first of September.” Her eyes widened. “That was yesterday. He’s already on his way.”
Mama picked up her napkin and patted the corner of her mouth. “It’s very good news about Cousin Beatrice. I’m sure Rylan’s relieved. Though I don’t understand why he’s coming back so soon.”
“Soon? He’s been gone three weeks.” Colleen pressed her lips together the moment the words burst out.
Brianna pushed back her chair and rose. “I imagine the seminary wants him back as soon as possible to continue his preparations.”
Colleen threw her sister a grateful look as she refolded the letter.
Daddy picked up the newspaper. “Did you say he was sailing on the Olympic?”
“Yes, why?”
“I believe I read something about it in today’s paper. Ah, yes, here it is.” His face wreathed in a frown, he raised troubled eyes to Colleen and then to Mama. “I’m afraid that ship’s been in an accident. A collision at sea.”
Colleen gasped and clutched the edge of the table as the room swirled in front of her. This could not be happening. Not when Rylan was coming back to her.
Her father scanned the article until the lines on his forehead eased. “Not to worry, everyone on board is all right. It says the captain had to turn around and go back to the nearest port in England. All the passengers disembarked, and the ship is being sent to Belfast for repairs which could take several weeks.”
Several weeks? Her first glimmer of hope, and now she’d have to wait weeks more? Tears sprang to her eyes before she could stop them. With a strangled sob, she jumped up, still clutching the letter. Ignoring her mother’s concerned inquiry, Colleen sprinted into the hallway and upstairs to the sanctuary of her bedroom.
On silent feet, Brianna left the room, grateful her parents were too stunned about the accident at sea and Colleen’s extreme reaction to raise any ruckus about her plans.
At the foot of the staircase, Brianna hesitated. The desire to comfort her sister warred with the need to speak with Gil. Colleen would need some ti
me alone to read Rylan’s letter and process the latest turn of events. Bree sighed. She would go to Gil, then.
Brianna imagined Gil had headed out to the barn—his place of refuge when anything troubled him. He may already be out riding Midnight as he often did when working out a problem. No matter. If he wasn’t there, she’d visit with Sophie and Sebastian.
Minutes later, she found Gil in the tack room, mercilessly scrubbing one of the saddles, head bent, arm flying. He didn’t even look up as she entered.
She leaned against the doorframe, watching him for several minutes. “If you’re not careful, there won’t be any leather left on that saddle.”
Without looking at her, he stilled his hand briefly before he started scouring again. “Were you planning to tell me you were leaving? Or would I wake up one morning to find you gone?”
The harshness of his tone made her wince. But she refused to back down. “I didn’t realize I had to tell you anything. You knew my aunt had registered me at Barnard. I only came home to help Mama until classes start.”
He shot to his feet then, anger swirling in his blue eyes. “You came back for your mother—no other reason?”
A flush heated her cheeks, but she held her ground. “There was the added benefit of spending time with you.”
Gil threw the scrub brush into a nearby bucket. Water sloshed over the sides. “You told me you wanted to help me achieve my dream. I thought that meant you’d be willing to go with me when I’m ready to buy my property. Or was that all just a whim?”
So Daddy hadn’t said anything about a partnership yet. Maybe he’d changed his mind. She straightened, moving away from the door. “I meant what I said, but I assumed it would happen after I got my degree. I didn’t think you’d have enough money saved until then.”
Water dripped from his hands. “What if I’m ready to go in six months? You expect me to wait another two and a half years?”
Irish Meadows Page 28
