Steph opened her eyes slightly to find Jaaza still standing over her, she could hear her breathing… she could smell the forest on her. Jaaza leaned down over her and touched her hand. Steph couldn’t pretend any longer, she opened her eyes and started to ask if everything was ok. Jaaza’s hand went down over her mouth to silence her. Steph saw Jaaza lean over very close to her, so close she could feel her breath on her earlobe. A soft “Shhh” and the hand was removed. Jaaza took Stephs’ wrists and lifted them over her head holding them down. Steph felt Jaaza momentarily release her hands, reaching down to remove her own shorts and straddled her hips. Jaaza’s lips came down on hers, kissing her softly at first and then more urgently. Steph tried to move her hands. She wanted desperately to touch Jaaza, to caress her but Jaaza had already tightened her grip on her wrists. Steph relaxed allowing Jaaza to have complete control, she felt no fear. She somehow knew that Jaaza needed to be in control and Steph didn’t want to do anything that would make her stop. The kissing continued as Jaaza repositioned her hands to hold both of Steph’s hands with one of hers. The other hand made its way under Steph’s night shirt, gently caressing her abdomen. She kneaded and massaged her torso moving up to her breasts, she gasped as finally Jaaza gently squeezing her nipple and it became so hard she could hardly stay still. Jaaza lifted Steph’s shirt and leaned down to circle her nipple with her tongue. Round and round until Steph said. “Oh god Jaaza” Jaaza stopped. Steph was sure she had broken the spell and Jaaza would realize she was making a huge mistake going against everything she had said earlier but she just whispered again “Shhh.” Jaaza leaned down again and took her nipple into her mouth once more sucking gently. Steph thought she was going to scream and it took every bit of her willpower to lie still and keep quiet. Soon the other nipple was treated to the same exquisite torture, she felt like her head was going to explode. In her mind she was screaming “Oh my god Jaaza I want you to fuck me right now.” But still she kept quiet.
Steph squirmed and bent her leg to allow Jaaza better access to her breasts, hoping she would continue her downward progress. She knew she would probably come at the slightest touch to her clit. Instead Jaaza moved so Steph’s thigh was between hers and pushed herself back against it. She could feel Jaazas’ incredible heat and wetness against her thigh. Jaaza slid her clit against Stephs thigh, up and down until she couldn’t hold Steph’s hands any longer and let them go closing her eyes. Jaaza’s face was by her right ear, her breathing getting faster and faster as she rocked against her. Steph brought her arms down and held her gently around the shoulders as Jaaza finally came. Steph held her close for a long time caressing her hair. Stephanie knew this was a big deal for Jaaza, bigger than she probably could understand and may never know. Jaaza sat up tears streaming down her face. Steph gently guided her head back onto her shoulder and held her a while longer. Jaaza held her back very tightly. Abruptly Jaaza got up and grabbed her clothes off the floor, hurriedly dressed and ran out the door. Steph took a deep breath, tears of her own blurring her vision. She had not climaxed herself but that had been the most profound experience she had ever felt. She felt no disappointment or frustration only that she wished Jaaza had stayed. She only felt privileged to have been the one Jaaza had chosen to share this moment with. She felt satisfied, satisfied but very alone. Steph waited for Jaaza to return until the sun rose and still there was no sign of Jaaza. ~
When Romi saw Jaaza the next morning she knew something was wrong. She was several years older than Jaaza but they were very close. Jaaza had spent a month every summer with Romi growing up. Her Aunt Kitty thought it would do Jaaza good to get away from her books and projects. Jaaza hadn’t been your average child, mind you she wasn’t your average adult either. Romi was very protective over Jaaza and had helped guide her through many misadventures and what Aunt Kitty called growing pains. Romi walked up alongside Jaaza and put her arm around her shoulders. “Why so glum chum?” Romi teased. Jaaza looked sidelong at her. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.” She replied unconvincingly. “You might be able to tell your mother a fish story but don’t try that nonsense with me. You know you can talk to me about anything.” Romi smiled lovingly at her. Jaaza nodded, she knew that and it was true.
They walked on a while with Romi’s arm across Jaaza’s shoulder holding her close. Across the way they saw Steph; Jaaza ducked behind the nearest building pulling Romi with her. When Romi regained her balance she looked at Jaaza. “What the hell was that all about?” Romi said. “I don’t want to see her… I can’t even look at her right now.” Jaaza proclaimed. Romi frowned. “Why the hell not, did she do or say something? I’ll kill her.” Romi was about to go after Steph, she didn’t even know why but Jaaza meant everything to her.
Jaaza grabbed Romi’s elbow and pulled her back behind the building. “Leave it be Romi, please.” Jaaza begged. “If that bitch did anything to you she’s going to see what rough justice Marcus II style is.” Romi said as she tried to peer around the side of the building. Jaaza looked embarrassed. “She didn’t do anything to me, not that I didn’t want anyhow.” Jaaza said sheepishly. Romi looked at her puzzled and then it dawned on her. She stood there with her mouth open. “You can close your mouth now. I’m a grown woman.” Jaaza said a little embarrassed. Romi frowned. “She seduced you, how the hell did that happen?” Romi asked puzzled. Jaaza sighed. “She did NOT seduce me, she was minding her own business and I jumped on her. I’m so damned embarrassed.” Jaaza said covering her face with her hands. Romi looked at her then started to laugh. “You did what? You’re kidding right? What were you thinking? What about your… I’m never getting married and settling down stuff? How was it?” Romi tried to ask all her questions at once. Jaaza turned three shades of red before she answered. “Romi, I obviously wasn’t thinking. I went with my feelings and now it’s a big mess.” Jaaza explained. “Was it awful? Did she hurt you? God just tell me this is making me crazy.” Romi ordered. Jaaza sucked air through her teeth.
They went to a nearby bench and sat down. “Promise me you’ll keep this to yourself… and stop asking stupid questions. I was thinking about Steph and I was feeling all warm and fuzzy. It was late and I couldn’t get to sleep, so I went for a walk. I ended up outside the door of your house looking in, she was sleeping on the couch, I snuck up on her and you know…” Romi just sat there not saying anything. “Well, why don’t you say something?” Jaaza finally said. “You told me to stay quiet.” Romi answered. That was it. Jaaza started to cry. Romi hugged Jaaza close rubbing her back. Jaaza for all her intelligence had always been socially awkward. They had had discussions in the past about her not dating etc. It had never been of great concern to Jaaza. There had never been anyone who could take her attention away from her work and books for very long. Romi knew that it would have to be someone very special for Jaaza to even notice. Maybe this doctor friend of Jaaza’s was that someone special. Logic played no part in matters of the heart and that meant that Jaaza was completely out of her element. Romi just leaned back against the bench and took a deep breath.
She held Jaaza for a long time not saying anything. This was something that Jaaza would have to figure out for herself. This was big, really big, Steph had somehow broken through that armor Jaaza had built around herself and not only that but she had blown it to bits. Jaaza was having trouble handling her unfamiliar feelings and desires but Romi knew she would figure it out eventually. She just hoped she would be able to get her head around it before her Doctor friend packed up her stuff and left.
They sat there for some time, Romi just being there for her favorite cousin. It was like she put up a protective bubble around the two of them lending her strength while Jaaza was in flux. Finally Jaaza looked at her and said. “I’m sure there’s somewhere you need to be.” Romi patted her and said. “There is nowhere more important right now. I’m here for you end of discussion.” Romi looked into her eyes. “Thanks I appreciate that but I feel a little foolish.” Jaaza laid her head back on Romi’s shoulder. “We all
have our moments, we get through it and so will you. So you like this woman a lot I take it? What now, does she care for you?” Romi asked. Jaaza lifted her head but didn’t make eye contact and shook her head. Romi’s eyes went wide. “No I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t know… we haven’t even discussed it. We’ve been flirting with each other from day one but this last bit, I just sprang it on her.” Jaaza proclaimed. Romi just took a relieved inhalation but didn’t interrupt. Jaaza continued. “I feel so stupid. I told her I wasn’t interested. Then the next thing I’m jumping her bones, having my fun and then I just ran out. She must think I’m an idiot.” Jaaza explained. “Oh Jaaza you just left her… without reciprocating?” Romi asked. Jaaza just nodded, tears starting to well up again. Romi hugged her close once more. “I hope you plan to talk to Steph.” Romi said. Jaaza just shook her head. At this revelation Romi was at a loss. She didn’t know what advice she could give that would help. Jaaza knew what she had to do, whether she did it or not was completely up to her. “Jaaza you have to just suck it up and talk to this girl if you care for her as much as I think you do. You wouldn’t be upset like this if you didn’t, right? Grow a pair of ovaries and ask her out. Tell her you’re sorry, it’s not too late.” Jaaza just held her tighter. ~
Chapter Six
With the samples collected the expedition was concluded. Jaaza and the team said their goodbyes and first thing in the morning they headed for home. Jaaza had all but run away from Steph every time they were in close proximity. She couldn’t look her in the eye. After all that gibber gabber about not wanting a physical relationship with Steph in the end she couldn’t control herself. She was embarrassed, so bloody embarrassed. She told Sara she needed to take one of the horses so she would have to ride in the shay with Stephanie.
Hardly a word was spoken on the way home, even the research team seemed to sense something was wrong. They could feel the tension between Steph and Jaaza. When the caravan arrive back at Cambridge Landing Jaaza left the group and horses with one of the grooms and headed straight to her mother’s house. She barged into the house and saw her Mother sitting in a living room chair reading some sort of report. She flopped down on the overstuffed couch and sighed. “I want off this assignment with the research team.” She said without preamble. “Welcome home Jaaza, everything here is fine thanks for asking. Me? I’m good.” Catherine said sarcastically. Jaaza sighed once more. Her Mother put down her report and leveled her gaze at Jaaza. “What happened?” Catherine asked. “Nothing, let’s just call it a personality conflict and be done with it.” Jaaza said harshly. “No.” Catherine said adamantly. “Why the hell not?” Jaaza shrieked. This time it was Catherines’ turn to sigh and she gave Jaaza a stern look. “Unless you give me a better explanation than the one you just stated the answer is no. As you know this project is very important to all of us. It could means the difference between a successful thriving colony and one that will starve to death in a couple decades.” She continued to stare at Jaaza. “And before you say anything further it would take too long to bring someone else up to speed. Finally I would very much appreciate it if you didn’t speak to me in that tone of voice.” Cat leveled her gaze at Jazz. Jaaza looked chastened. “Yes Mother. I just don’t think I can work with Dr. Diamond any longer.” Jaaza burst into tears. She was a grown woman but still sometimes enjoyed the comfort only her mother could provide. She went over to her mother for a hug. Catherine held her a long time, when she felt better she sat up. “Please Mother, Viva can take my place, she knows the project almost as well as I do.” Jaaza begged. “We’ll see.” Catherine told her. “We’ll see.” ~
The next morning at the research tent Viva strode in. She was greeted with a questioning look from Steph. “Good Morning Doctor, Jaaza is feeling a little under the weather this morning and I’ve been sent as a substitute, a poor one I know but there it is.” Viva explained. “Is she ok? I’m going to check on her.” Steph started out the door when Viva took her elbow. “No Dr. Diamond, I just came from seeing her. She just needs a few days rest and she’ll be as good as new.” Viva said hoping she wasn’t lying.
Steph could barely restrain herself. “Viva, would you please walk with me?” Steph headed out the tent with Viva close behind. “This project has been going along without a hitch until now. I hope this isn’t going to cause any unnecessary delays.” Steph said sternly. Viva stopped and looked at Steph. “Catherine has been apprised of the situation. That’s why she asked me to fill in… in Jaaza’s absence.” Viva said. Steph looked so stricken Viva took a step closer. She touched her forearm tenderly. “My sister is a very special kind of human being. I care very much about her. She needs time and she needs you to allow her time to get her head around whatever is going on between the two of you. Is that too much to ask?” Viva said looking into her eyes. Steph took a deep breath, if only she could speak to Jaaza. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it before doing so. Jaaza’s needs were more important at this point than anything that Steph could think of. She looked Viva in the eye and said in the same quiet tone Viva had used. “I care about her too, very much.” Steph replied. She wanted to say more but didn’t know how. She was having trouble putting her own thoughts into words. “Please Viva, please tell her… tell her I would very much like to see her, to see with my own eyes that she’s ok.” Steph couldn’t say more, not at this point. She couldn’t tell Viva she had grown to love Jaaza and she knew from experience she could very well be in love with her. Jaaza should be the first one to hear that particular revelation. How could that happen if Jaaza wouldn’t even see her? Steph felt helpless, she fought back the tears that threatened to well up in her eyes. ~
Jaaza spent two days in her dorm room. She had calmed down after her outburst with Catherine but she had spent most of her time thinking about Steph. She thought about that night in Arklow, she wished they could have a future together. She had grown to care for her more than anyone she had ever known in her life. It would take a strong self-assured intelligent woman to counter-balance her. Her position as Catherine’s daughter kept potential suitors away. It took a very intelligent, capable and confident person to even approach her and so far Jaaza hadn’t met that person on this planet. Not a local at any rate. The only person who had shown those kinds of traits was going to conclude her research and be leaving soon. Even if Steph wanted more than a quick lay, even if she wanted a relationship, living on different planets would take the term long distance relationship to a ridiculous new level. Jaaza would never leave Marcus II and she felt like her thoughts were going in circles. With all her intelligence and advanced degrees she couldn’t envision an outcome where Steph and she would grow old together. She had to forget about her before she drove herself crazy. She couldn’t return to work, she couldn’t even focus on her old research projects. She took her blanket and pillow off the couch where she had been sitting and went to bed. That is where she still was when Viva came home. ~
Steph was running the same samples for the third time. The first two tries had been unsuccessful. She was making mistakes and becoming more and more angry with herself. The third try wasn’t any more successful, that was the final straw. She threw the sample across the tent. “I’m going for a walk!” Steph almost shouted. Sara looked up from her work at the flying objects in her peripheral vision. She felt sympathy for her friend, she’d never seen her so twisted out of shape over anyone.
Just a few short days ago Steph had thought this planet was paradise. Now she felt like it was her own personal hell. She found this incredible woman she loved and wanted to be with but she also had responsibilities. She was the team leader and she had promised to get everyone home safe and sound. Occasionally a team member came to a colony like this and found someone or some research that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives doing but almost never a leader. She knew Jaaza would never leave with her, she had said as much. She was feeling sick to her stomach. Steph took a walk down to the cookhouse hoping to beg a bottle of Ajja wine from the coo
k. She felt like getting drunk and she thought that might be the only way she might actually get some sleep.
Walking back into the research tent Steph went over to Sara’s workstation. Holding up the wine bottle she asked Sara if she would have a drink with her. Sara would do almost anything for her best friend so she turned off her equipment and took Steph’s arm and they went back to their quarters. An few hours later after drinking half the bottle of Ajja wine Steph asked Sara a very serious question. “Have you ever thought about staying here? I mean what would it take for you to consider staying behind?” Steph asked. Sara was not drunk but was feeling happy. She frowned and pursed her lips considering the question carefully. Finally she replied. “I would have had to have found something very special here.” She confided. “Like what?” Steph asked bluntly. “For starters I would have had to have found a beautiful woman who was crazy about me, work that was stimulating and incredible mind blowing earth shattering sex.” Sara grinned broadly. Steph scoffed. “Is that all?” She actually chuckled. “Steph have you found those things?” Sara asked seriously. “I’ve found something very special here my friend but I don’t know if she is crazy about me. I think I could be happy exploring this place for a few decades. The last part I don’t know about because we haven’t found that out properly yet.” Steph said looking down. “I don’t know what to do to be honest. What do you think?” Sara looked her in the eye. “I think you need to talk to Jaaza, and I need to go to bed or I’ll be useless in the morning.” Sara said before heading off to bed. ~
The Secret - Book One of the Marcus II Series Page 7
