Chapter Nine
Camille ran her hand along the wall as she returned to Max’s study. She wasn’t sure why but the pattern on the wallpaper bumping underneath her fingers provided some measure of comfort as she once again attempted to sort through her feelings.
This morning she’d had them all in order. Then she saw Rex again and it was as though he shuffled her thoughts and feelings…mixing them all together. What did she want?
Oh, but she knew. She wanted him.
Of course, she did. She always wanted what she couldn’t have. Just look at her first fiancé. Michael had wanted marriage but he’d remained emotionally distant. Camille had thought she could overcome the divide between them, that their feelings would grow over time.
Rex wasn’t emotionally unavailable; he just legally refused to commit. This time all the feelings were there but the result would likely be the same.
Even if by some miracle he decided to marry, she doubted he would choose her. He could have any woman in all of society. So what was her next option? Did she really want to be hidden away in someone else’s home, taking care of someone else’s children?
She reached Max’s door but found her sister rather than her brother-in-law perched on his desk. “Lily.”
Lily gave her a smile that creased her eyes and spread her cheeks taut. “Good morning.”
“I was looking for Max. We’re going to discuss my options and—”
“I know.” Lily stood, crossing the room and taking her hands. “I’ve thought about it too and we rushed you last night, asking you about suitors and so on. You aren’t in the way here, Camille. You can stay for as long as you like.”
Camille squeezed her sister’s fingers. “That’s most kind.”
“I mean it. Let’s put any decisions aside for now. Just enjoy being here.” Lily nibbled at her lip as she gave Camille’s hands a little shake. “We brought it up yesterday because we were nervous about Rex being here.”
“Why?” Camille asked, then dropped Lily’s hands. “You don’t trust me with a rake do you?”
Lily gave her head a vigorous shake. “No, that’s not it. We don’t trust Rex with you. Max’s old friends are—”
“Lily, we’ve been over this.” Camille crossed her arms. Though she didn’t completely trust herself, Lily’s lack of confidence irritated her.
Lily grabbed her arms. “Listen. It’s more than just him being a rake. The friends, they made a bet.”
Camille pulled back. “What?”
“They each agreed to collect a kiss from one of us that night they were snowed in at the brothel. And Rex, he agreed to try and collect one from you.”
A stabbing pain pierced her chest. She’d told him things. Things about herself and her feelings she hadn’t shared with anyone, even her sisters. And she’d been a bet to him? She held back tears as she looked at her sister. “Is that why you were so adamant I stay away?”
Lily nodded her head as she chewed on her lip. “They are each going to try and collect a kiss from one of us. Max was opposed to it from the beginning. It’s why he left and was travelling back to London when we met him at the Mayfield estate.”
Camille drew in a shuddering breath. “I really can’t be trusted with a rake.” She was never going to marry. She’d only choose a terrible man.
Lily shook her head. “You haven’t done anything.”
“I kissed him, Lily. He was telling me about his childhood as an orphan and then on the streets and I fell for all of it.” Her voice broke on the last word as more tears shimmered in her eyes. Why was she so gullible? Her fist came to her mouth. She wanted to scream out her frustration, so she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hold it all in.
“He told you about his childhood?” Lily tilted her head to one side. “That doesn’t sound like a man just trying to collect a kiss.”
Camille hardly heard her. She dropped her hands to her sides, allowing them to limply hang beside her. As her shoulders slumped, she bowed her head. “I’m such a fool.”
Lily reached for her. “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. If anything it’s his—”
Her limp hands jolted and clenched into fists. Lily was right. She spun about and raced back down the hall.
She heard Lily behind her but she didn’t turn as she ran faster. Reaching Rex’s room she saw Max sitting at the foot his bed. “I’ve sent notes to all of them.”
She didn’t pay him any mind as she stopped in front of Rex. “You!” Her finger pointed down in his face.
He lifted his hand from under the covers and gently pushed the accusing digit down toward the bed. “Me what?”
“Did you really make a bet to kiss me? Is that what I am to you?” The tears that were brimming in her eyes threatened to spill over.
His face scrunched up. “I had no intention of fulfilling that bet, despite what the gypsy said.”
“Gypsy? What gyspy?” She looked behind her to see Lily huffing and puffing in the doorway.
“I hadn’t told her about the gypsy. I was just warning her not to kiss him.” Lily pushed out between gasps of air. “But it’s too late.”
“Too late?” Max roared, standing. “As soon as you are well, you’ll marry her.”
“No.”
The single word popped from Camille’s mouth. As it did, the room fell silent. Rex looked up at her, his face unreadable.
“What do you mean, no?” Max asked.
“Think about it, Max? Are you going to tie me to a man who doesn’t want me and doesn’t want to marry over a simple little kiss?” Camille shook her head. “It’s worse than Ralston. At least he wanted to wed me.”
Rex let out a grumble but didn’t say a word as Max rubbed his temples with his fingers. “Fair point.”
She looked down at Rex who had hardly uttered a word. “I hope your recovery continues to go smoothly.” Then, with a swish of her skirts, she left the room.
* * *
Rex watched her go, his fist slamming down on the bed. Damnation, what had he just done?
The answer was not a bloody thing. He’d stayed there like the invalid he apparently was.
The problem was that part of him understood this was for the best. Camille wouldn’t find happiness with a street urchin. A man whose very blood was tainted with despair. But he didn’t want her to go. Another voice in his mind demanded that he call her back and tell her that he’d give her whatever she wanted in this world if she’d just lay pressed against him again.
For a man who prided himself on keeping his relationships with women light, this one had gotten rather heavy. His angel.
“We’re not done discussing this,” Max rumbled as he took a step closer. “I can’t believe you fulfilled the terms of the bet. Even wounded and bedridden, I can’t trust you.”
Rex open his mouth but hesitated. She’d kissed him. “I am still just a street fighter. We don’t fight fair.”
Max inhaled then exhaled quickly, his eyes flashing with frustration. As Rex swiveled his head to watch him go, he realized Lily still stood in the doorway.
She didn’t say anything as she walked over to the bed, then she stopped, looking down at him with her large brown eyes. He pulled at the blankets and swallowed the lump in his throat. Why did such a tiny woman frighten him so much?
“Has anyone changed your bandages today?” she asked.
“I’m sure they’re fine,” he replied, tightening his grip on the blanket.
Her eyebrows went up. “Don’t be silly. I don’t think Camille’s coming back today to change them and they need to be replaced every day.” Then she grabbed the blankets and gently pulled them out of his grasp. “If you’re going to die, it won’t happen in my house.”
“Very well,” he answered, because it was difficult to argue with that, not because he wanted her to touch him. “Are you sure you aren’t just going to do the deed yourself?”
“Deed?” She helped him remove his shirt and then began to cut the bandages away.
She gave a gentle laugh. “You’re funny. I didn’t expect that.”
He glanced over his shoulder. Her smile was soft, her brown eyes sparkly. “I didn’t expect you to be nice to me.”
She gave a small shrug. “Under normal circumstances I would have been happy to have met you. It’s just that my sisters are everything to me and when I heard about the bet…”
He looked away, fixing his gaze on the wall. Her point made his stomach roil for a number of reasons. Most of all because he admired their bond. “I won’t hurt your sister, I swear it. She kissed me and now that it’s done I’ll keep my distance. I know she’s been hurt by a rake and I would never do anything to add to that pain.”
Lily gently rubbed a salve on the wounds and then began to wrap his midriff again. “Thank you for that.” She cleared her throat. “I am honestly less afraid of her being hurt by you and more afraid that she’s closed herself off forever.”
His mouth fell open. Well, that was something. Dropping his head into his hands, he drew in as deep a breath as the bandages would allow. “I’m afraid she’ll get over her loss and then I’ll have to watch her marry another man.” Damnation. Had he just said that out loud?
Chapter Ten
Two days had passed and by some miracle, Camille had managed to avoid Rex. Her anger had cooled some but the hurt remained. She’d thought they’d had an actual connection but he had just wanted to fill the terms of a bet.
She hadn’t had the heart to ask Lily about the gypsy. She was probably some beautiful dark haired lover who would make fun of the naive lady who believed, for a moment, that a man such as Rex might actually care for her.
She had no evidence of this, of course. But two days of mostly staying alone in her room had allowed her imagination all kinds of time.
A soft knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts. “Who is it?”
“It’s Lily,” her sister called. “May I come in?”
Camille rose and crossed the room to open the door. “What is it?”
“You’ve been in here a really long time.” Lily stepped into the room. “I’m worried about you.”
Camille twisted her hands together. Dare she admit that she’d also listened to Rex moving about his room? He was getting stronger and she was sure he’d return to his home, wherever that was, soon enough. And she’d go back to her sad little life. “I’ll be fine. Has Rex said when he’s leaving?”
Lily shook her head. “No. But I thought perhaps you and I could go out this evening.”
“Go out? Where?” Camille turned to her sister. “I’ve been shunned by most of society.”
“Aunt Mildred has invited us for dinner. Cristina and Victoria will be joining us as well.” Lily gave her an encouraging smile. “It would be nice to get out of the house.”
It would. Camille shifted. “That does sound lovely. Maybe a night out would do me good and I miss our sisters.”
“I agree.” Lily wrapped her arms about Camille giving her a hug. “We’ll have a lovely time. And Victoria and Cristina will be able to help sort your future, I’m sure of it.” Then Lily drew back, biting her lip. “Do you think we should tell them about the bet? Or about Rex?”
Camille wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know. I hate keeping secrets from them but…”
“Knowing could send Victoria straight into the lions’ den so to speak. If there is one thing she loves, it’s trouble,” Lily finished, her face drawing taut.
“And you can’t tell Cristina anything that she won’t then tell Victoria.” Camille pressed her palms to her cheeks.
“I’d never forgive myself if I inadvertently brought about the ruin of another sister.”
Camille’s hands dropped. “We’ve been over this. You are not in any way responsible for my fall from grace.” She reached for her sister’s hands. “You have been my savior. What would I be doing right now if you hadn’t married Max?”
Lily shrugged. “You’d be planning a wedding to Mr. Mayfield.”
A shiver raced down Camille’s spine. It wasn’t that she disliked the man with any passion but she didn’t like him either. It would have been a tedious marriage, far different than what she dreamed for herself. “Too true. So thank you.”
Lily gave a curt nod, her eyes still crinkled as though she weren’t sure. “Aunt Mildred has invited us for seven. I’ll arrange the carriage.”
“What will Max do without you?” Camille gave her sister a teasing smile. The two were almost never separated.
Lily winked. “I’m sure he will enjoy Rex’s company.”
Inwardly, Camille flinched. Rex. She wondered how he was doing then chastised herself for even asking. She was nothing but a bet to him. Why should she care about his health? She ignored that little voice that said she did care…a great deal. Straightening her spine, she decided she didn’t. Not one bit.
* * *
Rex sat in the library, looking out onto the dark street. Max sat across from him, though neither spoke, a fact for which Rex was grateful. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as the noise from below filtered softly into the room.
On his way to the library, he’d stepped out of his room in time to see Camille making her way down the hall. She’d worn a dress of pale green silk, her tiny waist accentuated by the cut of the gown. Though her back was to him, he imagined that the gown highlighted the green of her eyes, and the rosy hue of her lips. Her blonde hair had been loosely tied back and he pictured burying his hand deep in the coif, sending a scattering of pins about the floor.
Now he couldn’t get her image out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted her pressed against him again, to feel her lips, taste her tongue, and let her sweet vanilla scent wrap him in a warm cocoon.
What frightened him was that it wasn’t just lust. That need he understood and expected. Passion could be satiated and then set to the side.
But his fantasies involving Camille, not only did he make passionate love to her, then he held her the entire night, close to his body. He remembered the way her heart had felt beating next to his own. He envisioned the sweet warmth of her breath caressing his cheek as he kissed her face and whispered words of— He stopped. Damnation, he had been about to say love. “What is it like to be married?” He broke the silence as he looked over to Max.
Max started in his chair. “Nothing like I expected,” he answered, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees as he stared into the fire. “I want her happiness more than I want my own.”
Rex scrubbed his jaw. He had so little expectation in terms of happiness for his own life, that it wasn’t hard to imagine that hers would be more important. “Will you grow tired of that at some point?”
Max shrugged. “I don’t think so. If you’ve chosen the right woman, she wants your happiness more than she wants her own, and so she gives back to you whatever you’re giving her.” Max stared into the flames for several seconds as he drew in and then let out a long breath. “It adds a layer of dimension and purpose to life that I never imagined, but now that I have it, I never want to be without it again.”
Rex forgot to breathe. Purpose? The way Max described love made the idea tempting beyond anything he could have dreamed. “You like the experience then? You don’t wish you hadn’t succumbed?”
“I thank my lucky stars, the fates, and even the gypsy every day that Lily is my wife.”
It was Rex’s turn to stare into the fire, its heat hardly warming him as his mind turned circles. He held out his hands, hoping to ward off the cold that was filling him. “I’m not sure I’m worthy of such emotion. What if my heart and my blood are too cold to give the love I receive?”
Max shifted, his coat scraping against the back of the chair. “If you are
willing to go to great lengths to see her happy and cared for then you will be enough. Whatever you’re not giving, Camille will let you know.”
His head jerked up. “I didn’t say I was contemplating Camille. I…” But he stopped as Max grinned.
“I won’t tell. But I’d be a fool not see what was happening.” Max stood and poked the fire with an iron. The flames flickered to life again and the wood crackled and snapped. “She’s a woman who lives her life with her heart wide open. You’d be hard pressed to find another who could give you and your children more love.”
Rex dropped his head into his hands causing his side to burn. Could Camille’s loving heart make up for his terrible heritage? He honestly didn’t know.
“What’s with the serious mood in here?” Chase Averstone called from doorway as the butler showed him in to the room. “I mean, isn’t this the third time Rex has been shot since we’ve known him? It’s like Christmastide, it comes every year.”
Rex lifted his head and gave a low chuckle. He’d missed Chase. His brown hair was in its usual style, which was carelessly perfect while his handsome features were set with a devilish delight. “This one was to the gut. Bloody painful.”
“A gut shot?” Chase stopped, his hand covering his heart. “And you’re up after a few days? What are your insides made of? Iron?”
“Who’s made of iron?” Key called from behind him. Kenneth Marksburg flashed them a smile. It was one he used often to put people at ease. Most usually women he wished to bed, but he must have a personal request for them today.
Chase looked at Key, slapping him on the back. “You’re up to something, which usually means great things for me personally. Is there a party tonight we must attend?”
“How did you know?” Key’s grin broadened, making his blue eyes even darker.
Max grunted. “We’re here for a serious matter. Put your party plans aside.”
“Ah,” Chase replied. “Our ever dower and depressing duke.” He opened his arm wide, puffing out his chest. “What can we help you with, my lord? We are here to serve.”
Meddle in a Marquess’s Affairs: How to Reform a Rake Page 5
