It was there. The regret I didn’t think he felt, so obvious in his eyes as he stared, frozenlike, at the back of my head. But when my old self pivoted, angry words flying from my mouth, the regret instantly vanished, shielded by that ice cold glare I’d spent the last year remembering.
The tears came then. No way in hell could I stop them. I sobbed, and while I’d cried plenty in the past, never like this. Never this all-consuming explosion of tears that just wouldn’t stop.
My chest hurt from it, my soul ached from it, but strangely— my heart? It felt free, light, and whole. Still crying, I dropped the cake on the table and sat there, waiting for the trembles to stop, the tears to cease.
They didn’t. Standing, I grabbed the cake again, thinking I’d drop it into the garbage, or maybe the disposal, when my eyes fell on the snake. Oh God. That was something else I needed to do. I’d had him for a week, which meant he needed to eat. Still crying, I maneuvered the little door for feeding and dropped the cake in there. Fast.
Every pet I’d ever owned had loved people food. Snakes couldn’t be any different, could they?
Besides, it seemed a fitting end to the cake. To the old Elizabeth. To me and Marc. Being digested by a snake.
Locking the hatch again, I didn’t wait to see if it ate it. I was going to take a hot bath and then go to bed and, hopefully, when I woke in the morning, it would be a brand new day.
Hell. If I was really lucky, it would be a brand new life.
Chapter Eighteen
“Do you think he’s dead?” I asked Scot as he drove. “He looks dead. But do you think he’s really dead?”
“Yes. I do. A vet isn’t going to help him,” Scot said, slowing the van to make a left turn.I killed the snake.
I’d woken up that morning weirdly at ease; even the rain hadn’t bothered me. I was going to talk to Nate. I’d decided it was time, so I was nervously excited, strangely hopeful. But after my shower, I realized the snake wasn’t moving. At all. I naturally couldn’t touch him (ew), so I’d knocked on the glass, but he’d stayed all curled up tight. I’d considered sticking something in the tank to prod him, like a wooden spoon, but couldn’t deal with the actuality of it.
Frantic, because somehow the thought of a dead snake in my home was even more horrifying than a live one, I’d begged Scot to come over immediately and haul us to the veterinarian’s office.
I am a horrible person. I disliked the snake, but I hadn’t meant to murder him. Probably, it was the cake. Even though it didn’t look as if the snake had actually eaten any of it, what else could it be?
But still, he was dead or faking it really well.
That was an idea. Maybe? “Scot, can snakes be trained? Like dogs? Maybe he’s just playing dead.”
“Why do you care? You couldn’t wait to get rid of him.” “I just feel bad,” I murmured, eyes on the road.
Two hours later, I didn’t feel any better. The vet assured me it wasn’t the cake that killed my snake. Though, he did give me a strange look when he saw the cake in the tank. Oh wait, not a tank. It’s a vivarium.
Luckily, he didn’t ask me to explain, but he did firmly vocalize I shouldn’t consider owning a snake again. Ever. For my entire life. Yes, he said those exact words. Seeing as I wholeheartedly agreed with him, I didn’t argue or point out how rude he was. Nor did I point out it wasn’t my idea to own a snake in the first place.
Apparently, the fourteen-year-old snake had been riddled with some weird disease that would have been treatable months ago but wasn’t dealt with, so he died from it. I still thought the cake pushed him over the edge. You know, vapors can be deadly.
“When we get back to my place, will you do me one more favor?” I asked Scot. “You owe me. You knew I’d freak, but you helped Grandma anyway.”
“Come on, Lizzie. You gotta admit it was hysterical. I wish I could have been there the first time you saw him.”
“Don’t be a jerk,” I snapped. “I’m late for work, and I need you to take any remaining snakey stuff out of my apartment.”
“Snakey stuff?”
“Dead rodents,” I huffed. “In my freezer.”
“Chicken.”
“Yep. But you’ll do it?”
“Yeah. I have a friend who has a couple of snakes. I’ll take them to him.”
“I have some wrapping paper if you want to gift wrap it,” I suggested.
“Or I could leave them there. For you to deal with.”
“I should have called Joe,” I muttered, glancing out the window as we pulled into my parking lot.
While I felt terrible about a living creature dying, I was really happy—no, ecstatic—that he was not in my home any longer. Plus, I’d learned something. Never, ever, no matter what, tell Grandma Verda anything that could be misconstrued to such disastrous results, ever again. Oh yeah—I also learned I didn’t really want to be a snake. They were entirely too, um, reptilian for my peace of mind. Plus, that tongue thing? Creepy.
I sipped my coffee and basked in the sun that shone through my windows. Spring was in the air, with the bite of winter’s chill softened by buds of warmth. And I just knew the second I stepped outside I’d be wrapped in the unique scents of the season. Fresh, breezy, the promise of hot summer days in every whiff. Normally on Sundays, I’d sit around most of the day. I’d catch up on chores, maybe watch a movie or read a book. Not today. Today, I was going shopping.
I hated my furniture, but beyond that, I wanted the black gone. No wonder I’d been depressed for a year. I was living in an apartment of mourning.Brushing the crumbs from my morning toast off my hands, I considered hauling Maddie out of bed and insisting she come with me. But I sort of wanted to do this on my own. After the vision sequence with Marc, I was finally ready to move on. I didn’t need to see him now, and I didn’t need to hear an apology. Visualizing his regret was enough.
Yeah, I still needed to talk to Nate, but for some reason hesitated. If he wanted to talk to me, he knew where I lived, right? Right. Which meant, if I was honest with myself, he didn’t want to talk to me. I figured I’d focus on something I could do rather than on things I couldn’t. No matter how much it hurt.
After checking the Sunday advertisements, I mapped out my day. Several furniture shops were having spring sales. If I could save money and redecorate my apartment, even better.
I jotted a note for Grandma Verda, who was still spending the majority of her time with the recovering Vinny, grabbed my purse, locked my door, and then headed into the sunshine. Right away I realized filling my apartment with new furnishings wasn’t going to be as easy as I’d thought. Let me tell you, these furniture shops? Tons of choices for someone who didn’t really know what she wanted. Deciding to browse, my eyes scanned the store I was in.
“Excuse me,” I mumbled as I passed an older couple who were discussing the merits of a La-Z-Boy recliner.
The woman glanced up and smiled. “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you think of this chair? We’re considering buying it for my granddaughter, but we’re not really sure if it’s young enough for her.”
Her striking white hair pulled at a memory, and I took a closer look as I answered. “It’s nice. But without knowing the décor of her home, it’s hard to say.”
The man said, “Sit down in it, will you? We’re getting too old to get in and out of chairs in public. We’ll embarrass ourselves.” He grinned. They seemed like a really sweet couple.
And then, I remembered who they were. The couple from Starbucks. The ones whose history Maddie and I tried to guess but who’d disappeared before I could ask. How weird was it seeing them again?
“Sure,” I answered. Sitting down in the chair, I pulled the leg-rest up and sighed. “Oh yeah, this is relaxing. Maybe I’ll consider buying one.”
“So if your grandmother purchased this for you as a wedding gift, would you be happy or annoyed?” the woman asked. “We’re not sure if she’ll think our tastes are too old for her.”
“Um. My gran
dmother? A chair would be great. It’s the snake I couldn’t handle.”
“Snake? How interesting,” the lady said with a smile. “I bet that’s a great story.”
I shuddered. “Not really. But she meant well. Your granddaughter is getting married?” I pulled out a business card and handed it to her. “I own a bakery that specializes in wedding cakes. If she hasn’t chosen anyone yet, have her come in.”
Accepting the card, the woman nodded. “Thank you. Could we have another, perhaps? So I can give one to her and keep one for myself?”
“Definitely.” I gave her another card. “Please feel free to give it to anyone you want.”
“Oh, it’s for us. We’re finally getting married. After twenty years together, we decided to make it legal,” she said with a nervous chuckle.
“Twenty years?” So Maddie and I were both wrong. Interesting. “That’s amazing. Congratulations!”
The old man’s eyes twinkled. “I asked her to marry me on our second date. It’s taken her this long to say yes.”
Her cheeks turning pink, the woman tucked both business cards into her purse. “Sometimes it takes a while,” she said softly. “But you waited for me, and I came to my senses.”
“You’re just stubborn,” the old man teased.
“Can I ask a question? If it’s too personal, I’ll understand.” At the woman’s nod, I continued. “Did you ever doubt in those twenty years that you were supposed to be together?”
“Oh no. I fell in love with him the moment I met him. Like a romance story.”
“Then why so long to get married?” I realized I was being rude, but I needed to know.
Her frail shoulders moved upward in a shrug. “Bad first marriage. I guess it took me twenty years to see what was in front of me the entire time. That just because my heart was broken once, it didn’t mean it would happen again.”
The elderly man reached over and squeezed her hand. And then, a look so intimate passed between them that I felt as if I were intruding. After a few more minutes of chit-chatting, I said, “Congratulations again! I hope to see you and your granddaughter soon.”
Imagine. Twenty years with someone without a wedding ring. Twenty years to get over a bad first marriage. Sure, they certainly appeared happy, but I was smart enough to understand they’d probably argued about it over the years. Honestly, it spoke volumes that they’d managed to stay together to reach the point of getting married. Most relationships probably wouldn’t.
Stopping midstride, I thought of Nate and a rush of dizziness hit me. Reaching out, I steadied myself by grabbing onto a chair. It was time. I needed to talk to Nate. Regardless of what he said to me. Regardless of how he reacted. It was time.
My heart jumped in my chest. Hell. Now or never, right?
Right.
“Hey, Elizabeth. I’m surprised to see you.” Nate shook his head. “That didn’t come out right. I’m glad to see you. How are you?”
“Can I come in? I won’t take long. I promise.” My skin prickled with nerves, and my legs threatened to collapse. This was brand new territory for me, and I hadn’t even given myself a chance to prepare what I was going to say. I was too afraid I’d chicken out if I didn’t come to Nate immediately.“Absolutely. Come on in.”
He opened the door wider, and I stepped into his apartment. I didn’t see his girlfriend, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t there. Possibly she was sleeping off a night of amazing sex. Yeah, I just had to put that image in my mind.
“Do you want anything to drink? I have juice, soda, wine, what ever you want,” Nate said, gesturing toward the couch. “I even have coffee.”
Taking a seat, I exhaled. “No. Thank you. If I don’t say this straight-out, I’m not sure I will.”
Apparently he’d just gotten out of the shower, because his hair was wet. His white T-shirt tightened across his chest, clinging to areas he must not have dried properly before answering the door. Even knowing he had a girlfriend, I still wanted to rip that shirt off. I know. Hopeless. Completely and utterly hopeless.
Instead of sitting next to me on the couch, or across from me in his chair, he sat on the coffee table in front of me. So close, our knees were almost touching. Shoot. He smelled really good.
“I’m listening. What’s going on? Everything okay with your grandmother, your sister, and all other assorted family members?” he asked with his trademark twitchy grin.
I loved that twitchy grin.
“Um. You’re too close to me,” I blurted. “I can’t think when you’re this close to me. All I want to do is kiss you. And I can’t do that, so you should probably move.” Tell me I didn’t just say what I think I said.
Yeah. I know. I did.
“You want to kiss me?”
“I’m sorry. I know you have a girlfriend. I shouldn’t have said that. So, let’s forget I did and I’ll say what I came to say instead.” I fidgeted in my seat.
“I’m much more interested in following this kiss line of discussion. Why stop at wanting to kiss me? Why not lean over and kiss me? Do I need to be closer?” He scooted closer. “Is that better?”
What was happening? I didn’t think he was the type to cheat. Maybe I was wrong about the girlfriend thing? A blossom of hope eased its way through me. “Do you have a girlfriend?” I blurted.
His green eyes narrowed. “What makes you think I have a girlfriend?”
“I’ve seen you with her. Or at least with a woman who I thought was your girlfriend. I know you love her and that’s good. Well. Not good for me. But good for you, and it’s not that I don’t want you to be happy, because I do. If she is your girlfriend, that is. You know, it’s just, well . . . for a while I thought maybe we could be happy together.”
This was, without a doubt, absolutely not going as planned.
“Why don’t you start from the very beginning and tell me what you came to say. Then we can work through this addled idea of yours and come back to the kiss.”
Addled? Did he just call me addled? That’s something my grandmother would say. And yeah, maybe I was a little confused, but who could blame me? With him sitting so close and smelling so good and all. I twisted a few strands of hair to give me a few seconds to compose myself. “I came to apologize to you for that night you thought I was missing.”
“You’re a big girl. If you want to stay out all night, you don’t have to ask permission from anyone.” His gaze skittered away for an instant before returning to me. “That being said, you really scared a lot of people who love you. And your grandmother was really upset. I’m just surprised you forgot to call her.” While his voice was genial enough, it held a thread of coolness. I hated that.
He ran his hands over his face. “I thought . . . Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. Once you were home and I realized you were with your boyfriend, I thought it best to give you some distance.” Leaning over, he brushed my nose with a finger. “But I was worried about you. I can’t tell you how relieved I was when you walked through your door.”
“Kevin isn’t my boyfriend, Nate. I mean, I was dating him. But that night? Nothing happened. I’d had too much to drink, so I crashed on his couch.” I cleared my throat. “We’re not seeing each other anymore, either. In case that’s important to you.” It probably wasn’t. But I had to toss it in. You know, just to be sure.
He raised an eyebrow. “What about that other guy I saw you with? Jon?”
I laughed, trying to cover my nerves. It came out sounding like a noise a drunk hyena would make. Don’t ask me how I knew this, I just did. “He’s going to love the fact that he was right. Jon is happily involved with someone else, and even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be interested in me.”
I so wanted to kiss Nate. His lips were way too close.
“You two seemed really tight. I’m pretty good at judging people, and it was obvious that you and Jon know each other very well.”
“Well, yeah. We do. Jon and I went to college together and we own A Taste of Magic together. Other
than Maddie, he’s my best friend.” Nate didn’t say anything, so I said, “He’s like my brother. He’s my family.”
Understanding flooded Nate’s expression and, I have to say, the fact it did made my entire world brighten. Every color in his apartment became more vivid. Especially the green in his eyes.
“So you were dating Kevin. You’re not now, and you were never dating Jon? Do I have this correct?”
“You sound like the cop you are. But yes, you do. And I am sorry I didn’t call my grandmother. She’d just moved in, so I wasn’t used to someone waiting up for me.”
“Are you dating anyone else I don’t know about?”
“No.”
“Are you considering dating anyone else I should know about?”
“No.” I laughed the hyena laugh again. “But you haven’t answered my question. That woman I’ve seen you with? Who is she?”
“I do not have a girlfriend, Lizzie. Who is this woman you’re talking about?”
“You’re not lying to me, are you? Well, that would be stupid, wouldn’t it? Lying, I mean. But this woman—you two seemed close. And she called you sweetie.” Yeah, I was blubbering incoherently again. I snapped my mouth shut and promised myself to not say another word.
But then, he did the totally unexpected. He grabbed my hands and cradled them in his. The heat transferred from him to me, and tingles erupted all over my body. Not unlike the magic when I baked.
“What are you doing?”
“Describe this woman to me,” he coaxed.
“Tall. Gorgeous. Red hair. Green eyes.” Pulling away from his grasp, I said, “She answered your door one night when I came to see you. I saw her the night I invited you to dinner with me and Maddie. And I saw you and Sam in the parking lot one day waving to her as she left.” Closing my eyes, I willed my heart to calm down. “You love her. I know you do. I saw it in your face. And, I know we haven’t exactly known each other that long, and I’m not saying I love you, because heck if I know what love is anymore, but I do care about you and I did hope we’d—”
A Taste of Magic Page 25
