by Rebecca Grey
Blonde hair and near blinding pale skin caught my attention. Sun glinted off of daggers that shot through the air hitting their mark on targets yards away. Dace’s face was twisted into an ugly scowl, on him it wasn’t really ugly at all. The way his muscles were taut and the concentration made him stiff gave him the appearance that he was a weapon. Maybe he was. I knew I wouldn’t want to be at the other end of those daggers.
Dace caught my stare as he turned to pick up a new set of knives. The cool concentration melted away to swaggering confidence as he gave me a tilted smirk. “Rise and shine, Ryker. Ready for your training today?”
I twisted with enough ferocity to startle Hattie. Her tiny gasp disappeared as she lowered her shoulders and listened while I talked.
“Please tell me I’m not training with Prince Dace.”
“No,” Hattie chuckled. “He is a prince, he has to go back home. I think he actually leaves tonight.”
“Thank the Mother,” I whispered under my breath, tossing Dace a pathetic excuse of a fake smile.
“I will train you on your powers, Graceson will be in charge of training you in hand to hand combat and speed,” Hattie said with a wink.
I rolled my eyes. “What happened to beating up the boys for me?”
“Eh, I’ll let you take your shot at beating them up yourself first. For now, you can start with me for an hour then I’ll pass you over to Graceson. Follow me, we are going to head back to a clearing in the forest.”
So I followed and even at the distance between us I could see Graceson and a few nymph fighting in a whirlwind of fists. Quick jabs and kicks all a choreographed dance.
Still no Daethian.
After a bit of walking I could no longer see the group through the tree line. Each leaf had a different color, browns, reds, and yellows surrounding us. Staggered tree trunks with their patchy bark became more sporadic as they opened up into a large field.
“Tell me how your powers feel?" she asked, stopping toward the center of the field.
“They feel... itchy.” They had been itching to get out of my skin since I woke up. I could feel my powers thrumming through my body almost constantly. I could feel the earth around me seeping in through the soles of my feet, energizing every movement since I’d woken up.
“Itchy?” She grinned. “Well ok. Try to do something, anything. Your choice, just use your powers as carefully as you can and see how they feel. I know it’s been a while and your powers may feel a little untamed.”
I glanced at a tree on the side of the field, letting a tangle of the energy slide from my fingers, like invisible tethers. I was thinking to simply tug at the hanging vines, let them grow out and wrap around the tree. Instead, the earth shook before me and the ground around the tree pulled up like a wild wave splitting a line between myself and Hattie. I dropped my hands, pathetically.
“Is that what you were going for?" she asked tentatively.
“Not in the least bit.” I frowned, kicking at the uprooted ground in front of my toes. Sighing, I crouched and ran my fingers over the disappointment I created. Dirt crumbled easily under my fingertips. Within the touch, my magic snarled, wanting to escape.
In all that time in the Heathern Court I thought about my powers constantly. I missed how it felt to be connected to nature in such a way. To feel empowered and protected by the Mother and her gifts to us. It had all been a lie though, we were never protected. We lived our lives like children without thinking of the consequences or how the world around us rallied against us. How the fae rallied against us. The fae were disgusting.
“Hattie, how can you work with the fae?” My voice was sad and weak when I wanted it to be filled with the boiling anger that consumed me. I suddenly felt appalled that I had let one of them, Dace, take all of my time last night. The guilt of it sat like a heavy stone in my stomach. It was terrible that I had let these evil fae get a hold of my spirit as if they could earn my respect with the one small promise of freedom. It could all be a lie just like everything else they did was a lie.
Hattie looked sad. Her lips fell down at the corners. Finally, she crouched beside me taking a moment to breathe in the fresh air around us. Her rough hands found mine and stilled them in her grasp.
“You have every right to be angry. I won’t take that away from you. What you feel, those dark tormenting feelings, you can hold onto them as long as you want. It’s up to you to decide when you can forgive them. Just remember, they aren’t all like that.” She tilted her head in thought. “Some of them are good men. Cocky, sometimes a little bit annoying men, but good nonetheless. Ryker, Dace is a good man. Don’t be mad at yourself for allowing time to heal and have fun.”
“You trust them?”
“I trust them. I trust them here in this court. I trust Windre. And I will keep saying how justified you are in your feelings and how wonderful this place is until you believe it yourself.” Hattie nodded, monitoring my every reaction. I pressed my lips together letting her continue with the lesson. “Ok, let’s try this. Where do you feel the most connection? Where do you feel the energy from your power comes from?”
“The earth, sometimes the underground stone of the building. Sometimes just walking along the grass,” I answered, pouting a bit at my lack of control.
“Alright then, take your shoes off.” Hattie pointed at my feet.
“Take them off? These were a pain to lace up in the first place.”
Smiling, she pointed again. “Get them off, you big baby.”
I did as I was told, undoing the laces and sliding my shoes off, then my socks. The underside of my feet were scarred more so than the rest of my body. Large uneven chunks of skin were missing or filled with callouses from the lack of reliable shoes the Heathern Court offered its servants. Setting my feet on the grass, I felt the blades tickle between my toes, soft to the touch. Then, there it was, the energy, the burst of powers licking at my heels. I loved it.
“You feel it more now, right?”
“Mmmm, yes.” I wiggled my toes and smiled, genuinely enjoying this feeling.
“Alright then, next step. Grow a flower.” She stood and took a step back before she sat crossing her legs and watching.
When we were younger I did it all the time. I would grow flowers and we would braid the stems together to make crowns and blankets. I tried to think back to how I used to do it. But I never thought about it then, it just happened. I was in tune with my body and my strengths, in tune with Mother Nature, not anymore.
I stared down at the ground between us, begging for a flower to pop up. Nothing. We sat there for the rest of the hour. The earth shook a few times during my concentration. I even created a ripple that popped up underneath Hattie and sent her toppling backwards. She was fast and well trained though as she somersaulted with it and landed in a crouch. She was in good humor at my failed attempts. At least someone was.
As the hour ended she walked me back to the yard where Graceson had been training. Sweat covered my brow from working so hard to control my power, the ringlets around my face even drooped under the weight of my perspiration.
“Don’t be discouraged, we were all like that our first few days, it won't be long before you have it back under control.” She patted my arm. “That's when the fun training begins and we get to teach you ways you can use your power defensively.”
Stepping out of the tree line I saw Graceson sitting and chatting with the female he had been training with earlier. To my left I saw Daethian jogging our way. And there it was that nervous, palm sweaty feeling. I’d never been nervous around Daethian. What was happening?
The trees nearest us curved in response to my feeling. Hattie grabbed my hand. “Hey now. Try working on keeping your emotions from controlling your powers.”
As Daethian neared he slowed his pace until he stood before us. He was in shorts again, his chest bare to the sun, sweat dripping down over his body. If he had noticed the trees bend with the butterflies in my stomach he didn’t show it.
> “That’s my cue, meet me across the way with Graceson.” Hattie pointed, giving my hand one last squeeze as she jogged away.
I waved at Daethian now as he stood next to me. “How are you feeling today?”
“Well, back in good health, so I’m alright.” Biting his lower lip, he wiped some sweat from his forehead and brought his arm around grabbing the back of his neck. His bicep flexed showing off his strength as he continued, “Look, Ryker, I’m really sorry about last night. I’m not sure what got into me.”
“Hey, you know it’s ok,” I reassured him, even if I didn’t know if it was true. “I’m glad you are feeling better today.”
“Yeah... me too.” He nodded, dropping his arm. “Listen, Ryker, I’m so sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable last night.”
He was making me uncomfortable right now. But I couldn’t say that without making this situation worse. The words needed to be exchanged no matter how much we didn’t want to say them.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m ready for something right now.”
“No, I get it. Take your time adjusting.”
“Well I best be off, more training. Catch up with me later?” A pitiful attempt at dismissing the conversation as normal. I turned and pointed over toward Hattie and Graceson, the other female now gone. Chicken. I was running away from my best friend because I didn’t want to face our feelings. My feelings? His feelings? Lack there of returned feelings? I didn’t want to face feelings in general.
“Sure, see you later.”
That was that and Daethian jogged off past me. I stood for a moment pondering what I might do with this energy between us, ultimately deciding to not decide and headed forward.
Graceson leaned against the tall railing that circled the small fighting space. Dace was on the other side leaned forward to talk to him as he sipped on his water. They both gave me their full attention, leaving behind whatever sort of conversation they were just having as I approached. Hattie jumped up to sit on the ledge of the railing, swinging her legs.
I took my time before I turned my attention to Graceson. “So you're my new teacher.” Not really a question but not quite a statement either.
His tongue shot out, moistening his lips. “I suppose I am.”
“I could help teach you a thing or too,” Dace interjected, his words dripping in heavy humor.
Oh Mother. I can’t do this. With a roll of my eyes, I balanced my hands over my hips. “Like how to be overwhelmingly narcissistic?”
“Ha,” he chuckled unamused.
“He could teach you that, or I suppose we could start with some defensive stances.”
Reaching into his pocket, I watched as Graceson pulled out a couple hair ties. He handed me one, our hands brushing. Fighting against the struggle not to hurl insults and the unrestrained anger that tormented my mind, I jerked my hand back, surprised by how uncalloused his hands were. The muscles in his arms flexed as he reached up pulling his long red strands into a ponytail.
“What do you want me to do with this?” I asked holding the hair band with my fingertips.
“It’s to keep your hair out of your face.” His eyebrows rose in question.
“I’ll keep my hair down.” I was being headstrong, trying to assert my own authority as if I had any.
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes at me. “You won’t be able to see me coming if your hair is covering your face. Here just let me.” Graceson snatched the rubberband from my hand and stepped behind me.
“Woah, no.” I jerked away. “What are you doing?”
“I’m putting your hair up.” He gave me a blank stare. “Why are you so against it?”
“Because it’s my choice. My hair. You don’t get to decide for me.”
Graceson remained where he was watching me with a cold calculation. Eventually he motioned for me to stand before him in a clearing where the grass had been beaten down till it was flat against the earth. I obeyed, even though every fiber of my being asked me not to just to spite the man.
“Follow me.” He tapped his palm against the muscle in his upper leg. “I need you to put your dominant leg forward. Stagger your legs a bit.”
His eyes narrowed at the sight of my awkward stance, the distance between each foot. “No, no. Just a bit closer. We need you wide enough for balance but not so much you're practicing the splits.”
With a gulp, I gave a bob of the head, adjusting my footing. “Better?”
“Yes.” He flashed his brilliant smile at me. “Alright, now make sure you are squaring your hips, turn them a bit.”
“I am squaring them,” I huffed in annoyance.
“No, you are not. Who is the teacher here?” Graceson cocked his head as his face relaxed. “Here, I’ll show you.”
With two long strides Graceson moved behind me placing his hands on my belt line. Heat from his hands began to spread like wildfire within my veins as he gently guided my hips. “There,” he whispered into my hair. “Now there's less surface area for your opponent to hit.”
“Oh.”
Unhurried he let me go, though I could still feel the outline of his hands.
Hattie beamed ignorant of how painful this was to actually be so near the fae. Dace’s frowning face mirrored my emotions as he watched from the side lines.
“Keep your weight on your toes. Your heels should be light, almost hovering over the ground. Ok, now kinda bounce back and forth shifting your weight from one leg to the other.”
I swayed back and forth. My movements were unsure but similar to his.
“Good. How does that feel?”
I snorted. “Unnatural.”
“You’ll get there. Hands up, by your chin. Keep them tucked in nice and tight.” He winked. “And, tada! This is your first defensive stance.”
Graceson clapped circling me as I stood. My hands hit my legs as I dropped the pose. “Well, that was fun,” I mumbled.
I didn’t have time to get my hands up again, my hair fell over my face as he reached out slapping my cheek. It was a gentle hit but the shock of it still burned against my face. “What in the name of Havalla, Graceson?” I gasped.
“Never put your hands down.” Dace growled as Graceson flicked my hair away from my face. “You should have put your hair up.”
I tried to level him with a hard stare, but he only answered with a smirk.
“The best is yet to come, we still have a run to get in tonight. Really, don’t worry. You have no better teacher than me,” Graceson nodded confidently.
“Here I thought we would make it five minutes without one of you fae boasting about yourselves. Guess I was wrong.” I shrugged, throwing my own punch at him that he easily dodged.
“Smart-mouth,” Dace murmured just shy of being too quiet to hear.
“Wow, I think she may have heard that before. I’m not sure, but that seems like a familiar phrase.” Hattie hummed with a knowing look.
Our training session continued as I followed Graceson for our run. Hattie and Dace made themselves busy to avoid the additional laps Graceson would have made them do had they stuck around. My lungs ached within minutes. While the scenery changed in our peripheral I didn’t pay much mind to it. We ran less than a mile before I was begging to walk. Graceson shrugged, giving in.
Our paces slowed but air still pillaged my chest. Whatever remnants from breakfast rolled inside my stomach. The dampness of the sweat that pooled on my skin reminded me of the heat of the Heathern Court. The thought twisted my gut, everything I ate coming back up again. Cursed by the memories.
SEVENTEEN
Milo
There was something about the night. Something about the darkness that surrounded us all. It made me feel like we were all the same, all the same in the way that everyone had secrets.
In the shadows they felt safe enough they could finally reveal the terrible things about themselves. Safe because each sunless moment made it harder for everyone to see what they tried so hard to hide underneath.
&
nbsp; For me it was just comfortable. I was content to know we were all the same hideous creatures underneath, it was only a matter of how much monster really lurked under that perfect skin.
To the darkness I could whisper my own tragic secrets. It had become my only friend, the one who really knew it all. She was the lucky one who could bear it all even when I felt like I couldn’t. With each step on the dirt path under the billowing trees I let my soul whisper. I stretched my arms out wide enough my fingers brushed against the tree trunks on either side of me.
Into this friend of mine I spoke my mind. I told it all the tales of how I walked the fine line between loyal servant and utter traitor in my homeland, how I feared being found here and losing everything I’ve worked for, and how even though I knew, I really knew deep within me, the beautiful maiden I left back home, Eydis, was the mate of that smart mouthed fae who selflessly took it all to save my people I still loved her. She no longer had any love for me. I knew that. I’d lost hope many moons ago that I could somehow get her heart back. That I could put back the pieces of our arranged marriage just so I could hold every fragment of her heart and keep it all for myself. But I couldn’t stop loving her no matter how hard I tried.
My mother would be ashamed to see me today. See me pour everything out and keep nothing for myself. My dad might be proud though. Proud that I gave it all I got, and fought for something, anything really. My fight was for my people, for my home, for everything I lost, for them.
The night cooed as I pushed forward. I was just out for a stroll. I wanted so much to be with my friend, the darkness, just to think about everything. What were Marcus’s secrets? I knew he had some. Clearly, he wasn’t that happy man he appeared to be. No, not if he was stealing coin from the guards. I wasn’t the only one who had figured it out. One of my many good qualities was that I listen and listen I had. I listened until my ears rang and my heart ached for the people here too.
This king was king, for the most part. The head of the guard was the life of the party, for the most part. The court was thriving, almost. From the sound of it, everyone was heavily taxed. They worked hard and the king and his loyal lap dogs took half, if not more, of it. Did the people have the gall to hide their fortunes like I did?
