Once dressed and my armour restored, I feel more confident, “You should leave now,” I mumble. I don’t know how to end this encounter. The swishing of his robes behind me tells me, Kadar, too, has got to his feet. His arms encompass me once again, but his hold is light, so I don’t feel trapped.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” I’m puzzled; I’ve given him nothing. He’s leaving here unsatisfied; I can see the evidence of that.
“The gift of your submission.” He turns me to face him, putting a finger under my chin, so I’m forced to look into his face. His features are relaxed, showing none of the tension or discomfort I assume his hard erection would be giving him. He looks genuinely grateful.
“I don’t understand.” I wave in the general direction of his genitals.
Giving a wry smile, he tells me, “I don’t need any more satisfaction. A man learns to deal with such discomfort early in their lives. You gave me a gift today. And, for a while, made me forget the pressures of being the emir. I thank you for that, habiti. But now I must leave you.” He hasn’t released my chin, so I don’t miss the hardening of his features as he prepares to return to work. “We’ll talk soon, Zee.” He pulls back from me a little. “This is all I can give you, you know that, don’t you? I can only give you a taste of what you can find with the right man. You are submissive, and you need to embrace and explore that.”
I give him a nod to show I understand, his future is mapped out for him, and there’s no place for me in it. With a final squeeze he turns, and I watch him leave the harem.
Wow! My legs are still shaking from the aftermath of that tremendous orgasm, the first that any man has given me. I sink onto the bed, putting my head in my hands, trying to sort out all the conflicting thoughts and feelings that flit through my head, making it spin. In one morning Kadar has forced me to rethink my opinion of the male sex, and of what Dominance and submission might mean. I can’t believe he left the harem without taking anything from me. I’d been convinced I’d end the morning with him inside me, and I’m not sure I’d be ready for that. But his demonstration of what a sexual Domination could be like, well, that was certainly was something else. Rubbing my tired eyes, I admit to myself that I wouldn’t say no to exploring it a little further. With Kadar, only with Kadar. I couldn’t imagine trusting another man.
Nevertheless, I must remember to keep my feet very firmly on the ground. There’s no future in getting attached to the emir; he’s made that very clear. Closing my eyes, I relive every moment of our encounter, trying to commit it to memory to sustain me for the future.
Chapter 23
Kadar
Having changed into fresh robes, I return to my office just in time for my meeting with Sadiq. Although I try to concentrate on the information he’s providing, I find it difficult to keep my mind on track. Zee’s submission almost blew my mind. I’d taken things much further than I thought I’d go, having visited the harem simply to have a candid discussion. But after hearing the girls’ conversation my plans had been blown out of the water, and at last, I’d had to admit the attraction I’ve been trying so hard to conceal from myself as well as from her.
With a concerted effort, I force myself to compartmentalise this morning’s events, locking them away in my mind and turning the key. Once done, I turn my attention to the spreadsheet in front of me and afford my Minister of Finance the courtesy of actually listening to him. Zee had given me the gift of letting me forget my role and who I am for just a short time, but now it’s back to the business of running the country.
The meeting’s a routine one. I go through the last month’s figures with Sadiq for the next hour and, after concluding that the financial health of the country is in a favourable situation—mostly attributable to the new fund manager Cara had appointed—we wrap up the meeting. As Sadiq bows and takes his leave, I relax back in my chair, allowing myself the novel luxury of a moment to myself, and use it to think about the situation with Zee and her abusive ex. But it’s not long before I’m interrupted by the door opening, and Nijad enters without waiting for permission.
The fact my brother feels he can just walk into my office is just another example how protocol has relaxed since I’ve become emir. I’ve also tried to stop the deep bowing and obeisance of my palace staff, but there I haven’t been so successful. Baby steps, I tell myself, baby steps. Bringing a country like Amahad into the twenty-first century is something to be done in stages.
“What can I do for you, Nijad?” I sigh as I greet him, trying to hide my exasperation. This morning’s very pleasant interlude with Zee has set me behind.
“Cara told me that you visited the harem.” My brother crosses the room and without invitation, takes a seat across from my large desk, and positions himself so he can see me without my computer screen being in the way. The only change from when my father occupied this office is the technology that now invades the ruler’s domain.
“So?” My tone queries why that should be a subject of interest for him.
Nijad looks at me carefully. It’s strange that I’ve now become so much closer to my youngest brother. Even when often he might say things, I don’t particularly want to hear.
“Well? If all you want is to stare at me, I’ll give you a photograph.” I say gruffly, impatient as I wait for him to speak.
“What is this woman to you?” His piercing dark eyes are fixed on mine.
I’m not prepared to answer that question. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t. So I’m honest in my reply, “You want the truth? I’ve no idea. But don’t worry, brother. I know what she can’t be.”
He nods, dipping his head up and down slowly, as he reaches his own conclusion, “The last fling before your marriage?”
“If I wanted a fling, as you call it, I’d have taken a trip abroad.”
“So she’s more than that?”
I wonder how much I should disclose. Maybe sharing my thoughts would help me get a better handle on them. With a sigh, I begin, “There’s something about her, Ni. From the moment I met her, there was an attraction. Even before I knew what had happened in her past. Something about her called out to me.”
“And is this attraction mutual?” His brow furrows as he thinks about what I’ve said. Only a few words, but a window into the type of thoughts he knows I’ve never had before.
“I believe so.” Standing, I walk across to the floor to ceiling windows that form the outer wall of my office. I look out but don’t see the beautiful landscaped gardens. Instead, I see Zee’s face as she screamed out her release. Quickly pushing that vision away, I resume, “She can’t trust easily. She’s attracted to me, yes, but fighting it. That bastard broke her. He fucking destroyed her.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
It might not be the answer to the question he’s really asking, but there’s no doubt in my head what I want to so next, “I’m going to kill him.”
“No, you’re not.” It appears I’ve shocked him as Nijad stands, his stance warrior like, “You can’t get your hands dirty like that, brother. Killing him will be murder.”
“No,” I snarl, “It would be a warranted execution.”
When he continues I realise he’s not shocked by the act, but by the suggestion of the perpetrator. “But not a sentence personally carried out by the emir. You must distance yourself, Kadar, and you can’t leave the country at this time.” Nijad rips off his headdress and throws it on a chair before coming to stand by me, shoulder-length hair flowing free. His action demonstrating we’re in no formal setting. I follow suit, and then run my fingers through the bristles of my shorn hair. He stares at me. “If you are anywhere in the vicinity when St John-Davies dies you run the risk of exposure. Especially if word of your relationship with that woman becomes known.”
“She’s not that woman! She’s got a name.”
He smirks at me. “I knew you had feelings for her.”
“Fuck you!” Then I grin; he’s caught
me out, but now he realises how much she means to me, I know I’ll be able to rely on his help. I get back to the conversation. “Ben Carter thinks we should lure him to Amahad; leak that she’s here. He’s working on a plan of action as we speak.”
Nijad waves to the comfortable couches, conducive to an intimate conversation. I follow him over, and we take our seats.
“It’s a better idea than you going to him. But will he come?”
I shrug. “With Zoe as bait, I think there’s a good chance.”
“Would he come alone? Or would he have his private army with him?”
I lean back and cross my arms. “I don’t believe St John-Davies will want to advertise his presence here. If anyone, he’ll probably come with Hargreaves, his sidekick and bodyguard, from what Zee has told me, there’s probably no one else he trusts so implicitly. Not if his aim is to kidnap her and take her back.”
“He might simply kill her.”
“That will probably be his end game, but I think he’ll want his fun with her first.” My teeth clench at the thought of what he might do.
My brother’s expression is a mirror of mine, “We can’t allow him near her,” he says, then offers his soldier’s opinion, “He might give up on his playtime if we push him into a corner leaving him no option other than to kill her. We need to act very carefully on this and keep her well out of his way. It would be too risky for her to be in the same vicinity.”
I agree, but as I uncross my arms and open my hands palms up I show him I’ve not thought through how this might play out.
“Take her to the desert city, secretly.”
Nijad’s unexpected suggestion stumps me, “Why?”
“Let him think she’s here in the capital, but in reality, she’ll be safe in Z̧almā. And, brother, it’s a good time for you to meet the desert sheikhs in situ to discuss your plans for a representative government. So you can have a legitimate reason to be out of the way too, with a cast iron alibi nobody could question.” He breaks off, looks at me, and grins, “Part of the harem at my palace has been, er, adapted, but the gardens remain. It’s in a far better state than the one Zoe is renovating. Let her go there as research for her work here, to get some ideas. It will just be a coincidence that you’re both flying out there at the same time.”
I’m emir, but I find myself spluttering, “You’re suggesting I take Zee to your harem?”
“Why not?” Nijad sounds very amused.
“Because you’ve turned it into a Dom’s Dungeon!”
“Exactly!”
His one-word answer silences me. I stand quickly, sweeping my robes around me I start pacing the room, my thoughts whirling a dozen a minute. I turn on him. “But if I’m there, and Ethan comes here…”
“I’ll deal with him. Far better, that you’re out of the way. You can’t afford to get mixed up in something like this, Kadar. Fuck, you’re the emir! You need to stay whiter than white.”
I can do nothing but appreciate my brother’s offer, even though I wanted to deal with the prick myself. But there’s something I don’t like the idea. “I can’t let you do that. It’s too risky, Nijad.”
“Bollocks!” Nijad’s fist hits the table. “Give me some fucking credit! Ben Carter’s on board, have some faith in us. You think I haven’t killed before?”
I suppose it’s in an older brother’s psyche to want to protect his younger sibling, but as I turn, I see Nijad properly for perhaps the first time in years. I’ve become so accustomed to his permanent limp that I hardly notice it anymore, but I can’t forget his life-changing injury was received in service to our country. The many successful campaigns he’s led to keep jihadists from crossing our borders mean his military experience is far more extensive than mine. I’d done the requisite time in the army, of course, but after that my focus turned to diplomacy and government. Now, perhaps it’s time to admit that Nijad’s skills in that area far outweigh my own. Especially those he’s honed when fighting alongside the desert sheikhs where life is precarious, and retribution swift.
I return to the seating area. “The idea has some merit. But I’d want to be kept informed and in the loop with your plans.”
Nijad rises and clasps my hands in his. “You can trust me, brother. And don’t forget I had my own reasons to hate the man.”
I put my arm around him and draw him close. Although I’d have preferred to see St John-Davies’ lifeblood seep out of him with my own eyes, being able to protect Zee and keep her safe is more important to me. And I can depend on Nijad. He’ll get this unpleasant task done, in the same competent way he does everything else.
****
Just a day later and the plan starts to take shape. I meet with Ben and Nijad in my office.
“Will Richard help us?” Ben leans forwards, hoping for the right answer.
“He’s been with me for years; I’d trust him with my life.” I bark a laugh, “He knows nearly all my secrets, and he’s known Zoe’s identity since the day I first met her.”
Nijad nods, “I think the idea has merit. Richard heralds from England, and it wouldn’t be thought unlikely he keeps up with the news from the UK. He’ll be well aware of the missing Zoe Baker and the huge fucking incentive on offer for news of her whereabouts. I don’t think St John-Davies would be suspicious if even a senior palace employee decided to line his pockets in this way.”
Ben’s obviously in agreement, “We’ll ask him to ring the hotline number and lay claim to the reward. Give him instructions to tell them that she is here in Amahad, in Al Qur’ah, working in the palace.
“You sure he’ll come?” The plan hinges on St John-Davies personally taking the bait rather than sending his men.
A smirk comes over Ben’s face, “I’d lay down good money that St John-Davies will come himself. The kind of man he is, he’d be unable to resist tormenting his prey.”
“Richard will have instructions to leak that Zoe is simply an employee. We want to keep any suspicion of the ruling family’s interest in her well-hidden.” Nijad takes over, “From the information that will be given to him, St John-Davies will surmise she’s a woman on her own, working in a foreign country, isolated, and without protection. Hopefully, what your assistant divulges will lead him to believe he has an easy target: a woman who has relaxed her guard, thinking she had escaped his clutches, being so very far away from home.”
“How will you take him?”
“St John-Davies is a major player in the security game,” Nijad starts with an evil grin, “It wouldn’t be any surprise that, as the government of Amahad, we would be well aware of such a prestigious person paying the country a visit, so I, on your behalf, Kadar, would invite him to the palace for a diplomatic evening. How it will play out after that would be finalised once the size of his entourage is known.”
“I’ll be dealing with that sadistic bastard Hargreaves if he comes along,” Ben explains, and by the glint in his eyes, I suspect he’s looking forward to it. “But are you certain your man can play his part? If he arouses suspicion, St John-Davies might suspect he’ll be walking into a trap.”
Standing I pace the room, deep in thought. The plan hinges on my assistant being credible enough to attract St John-Davies here. If I didn’t trust him as much as I did, Richard could be the weak link in the chain. But I know him well and trust him implicitly, so I have absolutely no concern assuring Nijad and Ben Carter that Richard would play his part credibly and with utmost conviction.
Chapter 24
Zoe
I don’t hear from Kadar the next day which disappoints me, even though I’m in no position to make demands on him. I miss him, but can’t stop thinking about him, the incredible intimacy between us repeating in my head on a loop. At last, I know what Sophie had been on about. And understand now how that kind of pleasure could be addictive!
My feelings for Kadar are mixed and muddled up, and more than I should allow myself. Sometimes I want to see him more than I want my next breath, and then I become scared, fri
ghtened by the depth of my growing trust in him. I could easily get too personally invested in this incredible man. Although I try to place any thoughts of the intimacy that had occurred between us firmly out of my mind and attempt to accept it for what it was—a demonstration of the D/s dynamic—I still can’t stop my traitorous mind from wishing it could be something more.
Even as I remind myself there can be no future with the emir and try and get thoughts of a repeat performance behind me; I still need to see him if only to find out what their plans for Ethan are. The idea that my tormentor will be coming to this country—that he’ll be so close to finding me—is terrifying. To keep my sanity, I have to understand how they propose to keep me safe.
I know I should trust Kadar and Ben’s team to know what they’re doing, but I can’t get rid of the nagging seed of fear starting to grow in the back of my head. Ethan has ways to see all, to know all. Can they really trump him?
When the harem doors open mid-morning on the second day after he’d taken me to such incredible heights, and Kadar enters, I’m not sure how to greet him. I have the compulsion to run into his arms, but force myself to remember I don’t, and can’t have, the right to initiate such intimacy, and instead plant a polite smile on my face.
But my attempt to distance myself is destroyed with his short, one word greeting. “Habiti.”
As he walks towards me I feel awkward. What do you say to a man who’s had his mouth on, and hand in your private parts? And with whom you’ve discussed the murder of your ex? At the intensity of his expression my welcoming smile fades, and I turn away in a flush of embarrassment, not knowing how I should respond.
But I shouldn’t have worried, he’s a Dom and doesn’t leave me floundering for long.
Second Chances (Blood Brothers #3) Page 27
