"I have to go, Liam. Christian is—"
He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine before I could say another word—and I let him. I couldn't say how long we stood there locked in each other's arms, but it wasn't long enough. I craved every part of him, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it.
He broke our kiss. "Stay," he demanded softly.
I looked into his entrancing eyes and almost uttered the word, yes, but the wild vibrating phone in my purse ripped me from my school-girl fantasy.
"Christian," I replied.
He shook his head and loosened his grip on me. "Then go," he said with disappointment in his voice, turning toward his desk.
I reached out ready to grab his arm, but I knew if I did, I would never leave the office; at least not before being ravaged by him in the most sincere way. I pulled my hand back and turned to the door, glancing over my shoulder one last time. I'd never felt the genuine ache of loss until that very moment. I closed the door behind me, catching sight of Whynter glaring at me from her desk, her eyes wrought with judgment, but could I blame them? I would judge me if the shoe were on the other foot.
Making my way to the elevator with the sinking feeling my world was going to change sooner than I would've ever expected, and not in my favor.
Stepping into the elevator, the soft sound of Pachelbel's Canon in D filled the elevator car with the thick decadence of hope. Hope—what a two-sided coin. Hope could start wars or bring people out of the darkness; hope could even catapult a lonely housewife into believing in second chances. Hope—what a pile of shit.
I'd held onto the hope of Christian changing all these years, but that same hope had instead changed me. As the various buttons lit up and the car descended, I crossed my arms rubbing my elbows, wondering what life would be like if I weren't Mrs. Christian Cerisi.
Would I be happy? Did I even deserve to be happy? After all, I was no longer the innocent victim to Christian's cheating. I was now an active participant. The door dinged open to the bustling lobby, and as I stepped out of the elevator, I could feel every single eye blasting beams of shame right at me. I couldn’t walk to my car fast enough, cutting through the sea of people crowding the sidewalk.
I slid into the driver seat just as my phone rang.
"Celia, I was just gonna call you."
"What the fuck. I'm over here trippin' over this picture, and what are you doing?"
"I went to Liam's office. He said he would take care of it."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"He says he knows someone," I said, turning on the car before pulling out into the busy street.
"Who the fuck could he know except Christian? The one asshole we can't ask for help."
"I trust him," I said, looking in the rear view mirror at the entrance to Liam's office. "I really trust him."
"Meanwhile, back in the real world, you're being blackmailed," she said sarcastically.
"He's going to take care of it."
"Get the money, Lexi."
"If he doesn't take care of it by tomorrow, I'll figure something out."
"Get the fuckin' money, Lexi. I don't feel like dying 'cause you let some other dick up in you."
"Hey! What the fuck happened to being proud of me?"
"That was before I got this fuckin' picture."
"It's not your problem, Celia!"
"It became my problem, Lexi, when this picture came to my door. And tomorrow is Saturday. What? You gonna wait till the last minute to pay whoever this is off?"
"I will take care of it!" I yelled, clicking off the call.
Who the hell did she think she was? I was tired of her pushing me around all the time. Liam's concern about Celia's motives began to roll around in my head. After all, she was pretty adamant about the money.
Pulling up to a stoplight I looked to my left to see two little girls playing in the back seat of a minivan. They looked so happy, and it reminded me of when Celia and I were little girls. Back then, she was my hero, and I wanted to be just like her. I shook my head. She would never betray me, she's my cousin, and she loves me. She's just worried that Christian will blame her too. That's it. That's why she's so stressed about the money.
Then a stifling thought washed over me—where would I get the money?
A loud honk knocked me out of my thoughts. The light had turned green, and I was holding up a long line of cars on the busy downtown street.
Fuck me.
I proceeded onto the freeway calculating how much money I had in my shopping accounts, and in my, I'm gonna finally leave Christian fund, which happened to be a sock hidden in the back of my underwear drawer.
By my calculation, I only had a few thousand dollars between the two, definitely not enough to pay off the unscrupulous asshole trying to reach his hand in my pocket.
I banged my palm against the steering wheel. "Why the fuck did I go to Chicago!" I yelled as a tear of frustration slid down my cheek. "Fuck."
Before I knew it, I found myself sitting in a parked car with my front door to my right. I knew what was on the other side, and I wanted nothing more than to run as far as I could as I saw no way out of the mess that I had gotten myself into. I grabbed my phone and purse, then stepped out of the car, hoping beyond hope something would come to me.
CHRISTIAN
Lexi walked in, just as beautiful as I left her. "Where did you go?" I asked, sliding my phone into my pocket as I walked over to her.
"I went for a drive," she replied, throwing her purse on the couch.
Wrapping my arms around her, I pressed my cheek to hers, and said, "I'm sorry about today. I had to take care of something."
"I know," she said, stiffening her body.
I pulled away from her to look into her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. I don’t mean anything by it," she stuttered.
"Angelo's dead. I killed him," I said, loosening my grip on her.
Her eyes widened. "What happened?"
"I don’t wanna talk about it. Just thought you should know."
She shook her head as she moved around me, making her way to the hall. "This business. That's all we are—all we're ever gonna be—this business. Our lives are never going to be any different."
Her words angered me. "What do you want, Lexi? What do you fuckin' want?"
She whipped around. "I wanna be in fuckin' love. Is that too much to ask?"
My brows furrowed. "In love. In fucking love. Are you saying you aren’t in love with me?"
She stepped forward. "That's exactly what I'm saying! I'm tired of the other women, and pretending you don’t do what you do for a living."
"What I do puts Louboutins on your feet, and hundred dollar bills in your Louis Vuitton."
"Fuck all that. That's just stuff. I wanna be happy."
"Then go!" I yelled, grabbing my keys off the side table.
I stormed through the door, slamming it behind me. My anger would have ripped her to shreds if I stayed, and I could never live with myself if I ever hurt her. A hotel would have to do tonight.
CRAVE ME
LEXI
After the big blowout with Christian, I slept alone, knowing he was probably sleeping in her bed, holding her in his arms. But what could I say? I practically pushed him there.
I stood at the mirror readjusting my dress, twisting my body this way and that, secretly hoping I looked good enough to catch Liam's eye. But then I realized I shouldn’t even be thinking such things. An anxiousness crept into my stomach. I'd been trapped for so long, bound by a silly oath I took when I was eighteen. Who makes good decisions at eighteen?
I took one last look before heading for the kitchen. I didn’t know if Christian was coming home for the barbecue, but I certainly couldn’t cancel it last minute just in case he did. That would be asking for trouble.
The door creaked open as I was pulling out a tray of cut watermelons from the fridge. Keys clanged against the side table followed by footsteps leading to the hall
way. My heart sank, and my skin froze, waiting to see if he would walk into the kitchen. The bedroom door slammed shut, and the shower flipped on. I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing I had a few more minutes of calm before the storm hit. I placed the tray on the countertop right as the doorbell rang.
Thank, God. Witnesses.
I rushed to the door and flung it open. It was Rico and a couple of the guys.
"Rico," I greeted, wrapping my arms around his freshly pressed button up Hawaiian themed shirt.
He pressed his wrinkled cheek against mine, squeezing his arms tightly around me. His salt and pepper hair brushed against my cheek as the smell of Old Spice clouded the air around us. "You look beautiful, Lexi. Christian home?" he asked, stepping through the door, followed by the other two.
"Showering," I said, closing the door behind them.
Rico rubbed his hands together and smiled. "So, where's the food?"
I chuckled. Rico had the appetite of a horse and the round belly to prove it. "It's still in the kitchen. Can you boys help me take it all outside?"
"Outside," Rico demanded, pushing the other two toward the kitchen.
"I hope today will be a good day," I said, laying my hand on Rico's shoulder as I walked by him.
"Everything okay?" he asked, resting his hand on mine.
I stopped and looked into his soft, wide eyes. "Everything is fine, Rico. It's all fine…" my words trailed off as I proceeded to the kitchen.
"Boss!" Rico greeted from behind me.
Christian must have come out of the bedroom without making the slightest sound. Unusual for him, but then again the last few days had been strange.
"Where is everybody?" Christian asked, before his voice became muffled as I moved further into the kitchen.
CHRISTIAN
"Any word on The Ghost?" I asked.
"No, Boss."
"Did you take care of Angelo's wife? Did you get a hold of Liam?" I asked, wiping the drops of water still rolling down my face.
"Yeah, I talked to him, Boss. He said he would take care of everything."
I laid my arm over his shoulders and guided him toward the door. "I need you to figure this shit out, Rico. I gotta lot of shit going on with Lexi, and I need a clear head," I whispered into our small huddle.
"Yeah, I saw she was upset when I walked in. Anything I can do?"
"No. I just gotta fix a whole marriage full of fuck ups…that's all."
"Well if anyone can do it, Boss, you can," he encouraged.
I pulled away from him and patted his arm. "I gotta finish getting ready. Can you handle the grill?"
"I thought you'd never ask," he replied with a smirk as he walked toward the kitchen.
I turned and moved toward the hallway, the sounds of clanging pans, and glasses being placed on the countertop grew louder as I neared the kitchen. Now wouldn’t be the best time to try and talk to her. She was definitely pissed I left, and I'm sure she thought I went to another woman's house. What else should she think? That's all I'd ever done in our marriage. Who could blame her? I stepped back from the kitchen entrance, and instead headed toward the room to finish getting dressed. We would have it out later—after the barbecue.
LEXI
I waited for him to walk in and say something to me; his usual one liner which consisted of the words sorry, baby, and some other random thing he thought of on the fly. I always forgave him, setting myself aside for his comfort. Not anymore. I wish he would come in here and say something to me.
Give me a fuckin' reason to go off. I wish he would.
He never came. The change in pattern was odd, but my attention was quickly taken away by the chime of the doorbell. I took in a deep breath and headed for the door. It was going to be a long day of fake smiling and nonsensical conversation, all of which I wasn’t prepared for.
The backyard quickly filled up, busting at the seams with every family member and associate who happened to be in the city. These get-togethers ran forever, and it took the entire refrigerator and the two overflow freezers in the garage to feed them all. Good thing Rico loved to cook because I certainly didn’t want to slave away over a hot grill all day.
I looked around, wondering where Christian was, hoping to catch sight of Liam in the process. I guess I should have checked in on Christian, but he was a grown man, and if he wanted to have a pity party in the bedroom, then he could have it alone.
The doorbell rang right as I was walking back into the kitchen to grab more meat for Rico. I hurried to the door, fixing my hair in the mirror above the side table before greeting the next hungry stomach, stopping by for a free meal.
Celia was standing on the other side, her arms crossed over her hot pink sun dress, looking just as spiteful as the night I made us late to the club.
"Celia," I greeted in a low monotone voice.
"Lexi," she replied with the same tone.
"Glad you came."
Her arms fell to her sides as she stepped through the door. "I'm sorry," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck as I pushed the door closed.
"No, I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I need to fix this and get you out," I said, hugging her tightly.
"No. I was insensitive to you and I'm gonna do whatever I can to help, but you know tomorrow is Sunday right?"
"I know…" my words trailed as I tried to hold back the tears that so desperately wanted to burst through.
The doorbell rang again. I loosened my hold on Celia. "One sec."
"I'll just see you outside, I can smell Rico's ribs from here," she said, walking backward toward the kitchen.
I smiled, winking at her as she spun around to walk out the back door. Swinging the door open I was taken aback when I found Liam standing on the other side with Whynter, his secretary.
"Mrs. Cerisi, how are you today?" Liam asked, pretending like he didn’t know me from a bug on the wall.
I gripped the doorknob with all the jealous frustration a woman in my position could have. He wanted to play a game, and I was willing to play right along with him.
"Mr. Storm, I didn’t know we had an appointment with you today."
"Oh, you didn’t. Christian invited me."
So he's Christian, but I'm Mrs. Cerisi. This asshole.
I smiled and put on my sweetest voice. "Come in, Come in."
Whynter walked in first, closely followed by Liam, who shot me a wink and a quick slap on the thigh as he passed. I closed the door and took in a deep breath. This was going to turn out bad—I just knew it.
I turned from the door and smiled. "Everyone is outside. Please, enjoy."
"Thank you so much," Whynter said as she proceeded to the backyard in her long black maxi dress which flowed effortlessly behind her.
I hated to admit it, but she was beautiful. Liam twined his fingers with hers as they walked out into the backyard. I leaned my shoulder against the wall and watched them, completely crushed inside.
"What are you looking at?" Christian asked after rounding the corner to find me staring.
Startled, I pushed myself off the wall and readjusted my skirt, stuttering as I spoke, "Nothing. I'm not looking at anything."
"Then why do you look so nervous?"
"Why do you care, Christian?"
"Because you're my wife, Lexi," he replied in a tight voice.
"Doesn't seem like it when you don't come home at night. How is Cheryl anyway?" I asked, brushing by him, heading for the kitchen.
He seized my forearm and yanked me back toward him. My body crashed against his as he cupped his palm to the side of my neck, caressing my cheek with his thumb. "I was alone last night. I wasn't with anyone. When are you gonna see I'm trying to work things out with you?"
I swiped his hand away from my face. "It's too late for all that. I waited for years to hear those words spill from your lips. Lonely night after lonely night. How dare you think I am at your beck and call. I am your wife, not your dog," I stated angrily, jerking my arm away from his grasp.
His brows furrowed and his lips tightened. "So that's it?"
I looked away from his sad eyes, focusing my gaze on a small piece of lint I had missed earlier. My lips parted, and I said the only thing I could say at that moment. "I want a divorce."
The words were still hanging in the air when Rico walked in and threw his arms around Christian, patting him vigorously on the back.
"Boss, come join the party," Rico greeted, his breath smelling of a mixture of barbecue and beer.
Christian didn’t take his eyes off me once. "Maybe next time, Rico. I have something to take care of," he said, pulling away from Rico's hug before picking up his keys.
The door slammed behind him, leaving me alone to explain things to Rico.
"What happened to the boss?" he asked, frowning from the exchange.
"He'll be okay. You know how he is—business, business, business," I said, waving off the obvious.
Rico grasped onto my hand. "He's trying, Lexi. He really is."
I pulled my hand from his, not wanting to disrespect him, since I considered him a father figure, but this was none of his business. How dare he be on Christian's side? I wanted to shout out loud all the things Christian had put me through but, again, it wasn't his business.
Stepping back and without another word, I made my way to the kitchen to pour myself a drink, leaving Rico in the living room by himself. I pulled out a bottle of Sebastiani and uncorked it, pouring the dark burgundy liquid to the rim of my wine glass.
Rico walked out the back door without saying another word to me. I felt awful leaving our conversation the way I did. He certainly didn’t deserve it, and I would need to find a way to make it up to him—somehow.
Through the glass French doors I watched Celia flirt with every man not attached to a woman.
That girl never gives up.
I took a long sip of the dry wine, swirling it in my mouth as I watched Liam resting his hand on the small of Whynter's back.
Asshole.
Setting the glass on the counter, I stepped back from the island and headed to my bedroom. No one was going to miss me out there anyway. I was halfway down the hall when I felt a firm hand grip the edge of my shoulder.
Wrath: A Bad Boy Mafia Romance (Deadly Sin Series Book 1) Page 9
