Felicity fell silent as Elliot watched her eyes take on a faraway look and he knew that she was reliving the horrific events her father had forced her to endure. He suddenly felt as if he was alone in the room, it was as if Felicity had disappeared into her thoughts. He silently watched her, trying to comprehend the grief she must’ve felt at her father’s horrendous actions. He was having a hard time accepting all that she had told him, that somebody could treat their own flesh and blood with such disdain. Little did he know that the story was about to take a turn for the worst.
Felicity blinked twice, snapping out of her reverie and turning her head to refocus her eyes once more on Elliot’s face. Her head was tilted to one side as she began speaking in a voice barely above a whisper, continuing her story as if there had never been a pause. “It was so horrible going through labor by myself. My heart was broken at your betrayal and I wasn’t sure I had the strength to bring a new life into the world, let alone to raise it on my own.”
“I would’ve been there for you in a heartbeat if I had known,” he said vehemently, his voice thick with emotion. He needed her to understand that he never would have willingly abandoned her, that he never stopped caring.
Felicity stared into his eyes, her bottom lip quivering. Without even acknowledging that he had spoken she asked, “Do you want to know what the worst part was?” Elliot nodded, it was clear to him that she had a deep-rooted need to get all the gritty, painful details out in the open and though he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear more of her agonizing ordeal, he knew she needed to tell him.
“Right after Edith was born my father came and took her away. I had barely gotten the chance to hold her and give her a name before he up and took her. He told me that I’d never see the despicable child again and that I was no longer his daughter. A few days later, when I was hardly recovered from her delivery, he sent me to live with my cousin Clinton, his heir. It was so, so horrible. I had already lost you and now I had lost the only piece of you I had left, our daughter. My breasts ached when I couldn’t nurse her and my heart broke every time I thought of what her fate must have been. I had no idea what had happened to her, none. I missed all of those things too Elliot—I never got to see her grow from a sweet little baby to an adorable little toddler. I never heard her coo or got to nurse her back to sleep late at night or give her her first bath.”
Watching her, Elliot felt shameful for his own self pity, realizing at her declaration that she had endured far worse than he had. He had spent the last four years oblivious to the fact that he was a father, only aware of the large gaping hole her absence had produced in his life. She, on the other hand, had mourned not only her perceived loss of his affections, but the loss of their daughter as well, all at the hands of her evil father. In that moment, Elliot was glad that her father was dead because if he was still living, he would be sorely tempted to ring the man’s neck and send him immediately to the hereafter, all without a single ounce of regret.
Elliot sat clenching his fists, his jaw twitching in anger. He was at an emotional impasse—not sure whether he should vent the anger he felt seething inside of him or if he should break down in tears and cling furiously to Felicity. His mind wanted to react both ways, but his body sat stone still, afraid of either potential outburst.
He forced himself to recite the alphabet backwards in his head, an old trick he learned as a boy that helped calm him when he felt his emotions getting too out of control. When he felt some of the tension leave his body he finally allowed himself to speak. “How did you get Edith back?” He asked curiously, suddenly anxious to hear the rest of the story.
“I have Aunt Agatha to thank for that. After I was gone she had the courage to go to my father and beg him to let her raise my sweet baby. He was reluctant at first but she promised him she wouldn’t ever impose the child on him. Luckily for the both of us, my father always had a soft spot for his only sister and was hesitant to refuse her almost anything she wanted. She also had to promise that under no circumstance would she have any contact with me. All those years I had no idea what had happened to Edith, I just hoped and prayed that somebody was loving her and taking care of her. I couldn’t have survived if I let myself think about what my father was capable of doing to her, of what the worst case scenario could have been.”
Elliot was relieved to hear that she had been in safe hands, “God bless Aunt Agatha, but what about you, what were you doing all those years you were absent?”
Felicity’s chin fell to her chest, her eyes downcast. Elliot reached forward and gently cupped her chin, forcing her face upwards to look him in the eyes. “Tell me,” he urged.
“It was so horrible. I know I keep describing everything as such, but there really is no other word for it. If I thought my father’s anger was bad, Clinton’s loathing was even worse. He detested me—in his eyes I was the sole reason he would be inheriting an estate full of debt. He couldn’t see beyond my actions to the real reason his inheritance was so pitiful—my father was the real person to blame but he wasn’t present so I received the brunt of his anger.”
Elliot’s grip slid from her chin to her shoulders. Shaking her gently he inquired fearfully, “Did he ever lay a hand on you?”
“On occasion,” she answered timidly, ashamed to be admitting it to him.
Elliot crushed her to his chest, both arms going protectively around her so that she felt as if she couldn’t breathe. No amount of times reciting the alphabet backwards was going to distract him from the torrent of emotions he was experiencing. The thought of anyone harming Felicity, physically or emotionally was almost more than he could bear. He bit the inside of his cheek to try and stem the onslaught of emotions he felt but to no avail. He felt one large, almost painful tear squeeze out of his eye and roll down his face, falling onto Felicity’s cheek and blending with her own steady stream of tears. He bent his head and kissed the spot where their tears had met, tasting the saltiness of their union. His precious Felicity had endured so much!
“Pardon me,” a voice interrupted causing Elliot and Felicity to pull apart swiftly, separating their bodies completely and putting a respectable distance between them both. Aunt Agatha stood at the doorway, eyeing the pair speculatively. “I came to see if everything was well in here.” Elliot didn’t miss the look of mistrust she gave him causing him to feel uneasy in her presence.
“We are fine, Aunt Agatha, but thank you for your concern.” Felicity forced a wan smile to her face in an attempt to appease her dear aunt.
“Very well,” then casting one more tentative glance at Elliot, she left the room, leaving them alone once more.
“I don’t think she likes me much,” Elliot offered once he was sure she was out of hearing range.
“She’s just very protective of me after all that has happened. I think she’s still carrying around a large amount of guilt for her part in all of this.”
“What do you mean?” Elliot asked, one eyebrow raised curiously.
Felicity looked down into her lap, her voice almost a whisper. “She’s the one who told my father that you had ruined me.”
“What?” Elliot asked bewildered, “How could she have known?”
Felicity gave him a look of disbelief before rolling her eyes. “Elliot she isn’t obtuse. It wasn’t hard to deduct what had happened when after I had gone missing from the ball for an abnormally long time I return looking completely disheveled and flushed.” Elliot felt guilt prick his heart and humiliation warm his cheeks when he thought of all the hurt his foolish actions and lack of self control that night had caused them both. Felicity continued, “I know her intent wasn’t to rat you out but when she found out my father had made arrangements for me to wed Lord Kilpatrick she went to him and told him that you had compromised me hoping that he would then call off the agreement with Lord Kilpatrick and force me to marry you instead. Clearly it didn’t work,” she said sadly.
Shame and remorse were not good feelings to have but at the moment they were utterly cons
uming Elliot. He laid his palm gently on Felicity’s face and whispered, “I’m so sorry I ruined your life. It was completely selfish of me to take liberties with you before we were wed and we’ve both had to pay tremendously for my actions.”
“Our actions Elliot, it takes two.”
His voice was full of self loathing, “No I take the full blame, I should have had enough respect for you to treat you with decency. Please, please forgive me.”
“I already have. Please don’t have any regrets. We can’t change the past and even if we could, I’d never choose to go back to a life without Edith.”
“Me either. And life without you is not a life I enjoyed living.” After a few long seconds of searching each other’s eyes, Elliot leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. They were soft and warm and malleable and responded to his kiss tenderly. He brushed his thumb against the small mole under her lip and felt her quiver. His hand fell to her neck where he gently toyed with the wisps of baby hair at her nape.
With slight trepidation he pulled back, breaking contact with her mouth but remaining a mere fraction of an inch from her face. “How did you get away from him, how is it that you’re here in London now?” he asked.
Felicity sighed and he felt the warm gush of breathe leave her mouth and fan enticingly over his neck, tempting to distract him from her response. “After my father died last fall and Clinton officially inherited his title and estates, I knew I had to leave, to try and find out what had happened to our child. I didn’t dare return to London while my father was still alive for fear of what he would do to me if he found out. Clinton kept a watchful eye on me, especially after father’s passing, sure that one day I would try to escape. I honestly had no plan of action and admit I was beginning to grow quite hopeless that I’d ever get out of that dreadful house and away from him, or that I’d ever see Edith again.”
“How did you escape?”
“The only thing I can credit my escape to is divine intervention. When I was at my lowest point and truly thought I was destined to never leave, Clinton became dreadfully ill. I was forced to be his nursemaid and was able to convince him to send for a doctor when there was nothing left for me to do. The doctor left some laudanum and instructions for me to administer it to him regularly and I knew it was my only hope. At first I didn’t dare do it, give him a larger dose of the laudanum I mean, but I only had to think of Edith and the torturous hell my life would be if I stayed with Clinton. That night I gave him the medicine and waited until it took its affect. I stayed up until the middle of the night, so nervous that somebody would realize what I had done or that he would come to and I would lose my chance for freedom. When I finally left I did so with great anxiety, not sure where I would go, just knowing I had to leave. The only place I could think to go was back to the cottage where I had last lived with Aunt Agatha, and much to my amazement she was still there and had been raising Edith!”
Felicity stopped speaking and took a deep breath. She searched Elliot’s face for a reaction, for some kind of emotion but the only thing she could decipher was a look of sheer tenderness, his gaze was so full of love she thought her heart would burst. Oh how she had longed to be looked at by him with such adoration.
“Darling,” he said, “Is that why you’re posing as Lady Davenport?”
Felicity nodded humbly, “Yes, it was the only thing Aunt Agatha and I could think to do—we have nowhere to go and no means to take care of ourselves. It’s only a matter of time before Clinton forces us from this property, or worse.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to you, you can mark my words. I’ve promised that I’d always take care of you and I always will.” Elliot coaxed her head to his chest where he absently stroked her hair, all the while thinking of a way to make things right for his little family.
He was completely caught up in his own thoughts and hadn’t realized that Felicity had fallen asleep in his arms until he heard her breathing turn deep and even and realized she had become a dead weight in his arms. He smiled down on her sleeping form resting on his chest before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Poor girl had to be emotionally exhausted after the trying day they had shared. He gently scooped her into his arms and stood, careful not to wake her.
He walked out of the room and found Aunt Agatha sitting in a chair in the kitchen, nursing a cup of tea. Speaking in a whisper so as not to disturb Felicity he said, “She fell asleep, where can I put her?”
Aunt Agatha looked up, startled by the intrusion. She quickly rose from her chair and said, “Follow me. I just finished putting the little one down for her nap.”
Elliot let Aunt Agatha squeeze ahead of him into the hall then followed her upstairs where she led him down the hall to the third door on the right. She slowly turned the doorknob to avoid making a noise then gently pushed the door open. Elliot silently walked into the room. Once he had reached the bed he noticed a tiny form underneath the covers with only her head sticking out. Edith was curled up in a ball sleeping soundly with one tiny thumb stuck between her lips. Elliot smiled at the scene as he balanced Felicity’s weight in one arm so he could use his other hand to pull back the covers.
He laid Felicity gently in bed and watched as she stretched and turned onto her side, instinctively reaching for Edith and snuggling her into her arms. Once they were settled he tucked the sheets carefully around their bodies then leaned forward and placed a light kiss to each of their foreheads.
When he turned to leave he saw Aunt Agatha was still standing in the doorway. He motioned for her to follow him out of the room as he carefully shut the door behind them. Turning to her he said, “I owe you my deepest gratitude for taking care of my girls,” he surprised her by stepping close and pulling her into his embrace, giving her a heartfelt hug. “I promise to make things right by all of you. Please let Felicity know I’ll be back soon to finish discussing things with her.” He pulled back and reached in his pocket for a calling card. Handing it to Aunt Agatha he said, “If you need anything in the meantime, send a messenger to my address and I’ll be here as quickly as possible.”
Aunt Agatha looked up at him with a foreign admiration, quite opposite from the look she had given him earlier. “Thank you Lord Martineau.” Elliot bowed his head then turned and let himself out of the house.
Chapter 14
Sunday April 24th, 1814
Elliot had stayed up late into the night thinking about how much his life had changed with the previous day’s discovery. He was a father! And now he had to insure that he’d become a husband as well. First things first, he needed to inform Soren that he was no longer going to America. Ironically enough, though his plans for starting a new life in America were now irrelevant, he was however very much on the path to starting a completely new life, a life that he was actually excited to start living.
He took the extra time to prepare for the day, even indulging in a long bath that had been brought to his room. He formulated a plan for his day as he soaked, anxious to get back to Felicity and Edith. One of the first things he needed to do was go speak with Soren and inform him that he would no longer be sailing with him to America. Though he was eager to get that out of the way, he knew that the duke and duchess usually attended Sunday morning church services and wouldn’t be home so early in the morning.
As soon as Charles had helped him dress, he sat down at the writing desk sitting in the corner of his room and penned a quick note to Felicity telling her that he would be by later to visit. Once he finished, he sprinkled a handful of sand on the paper to dry the ink. After dusting it off he sealed the missive with a drop of wax and handed it to Charles and instructed him to see that it got delivered before he headed out to attend to his business.
Pierce’s townhouse was a bustle of activity when Elliot arrived, the family having just gotten home from church. As always, Hope was excited to see him and quickly instructed breakfast to be served.
Once everyone was seated, Elliot turned to Soren and said, “I came to di
scuss my plans of going to America with you.”
Soren set his napkin down on the table after dabbing at the corners of his mouth, “Splendid. I just talked to my shipping partner yesterday and it looks as if we may be able to sail sooner rather than later. Can you have your affairs in order any earlier in case that is the case?”
“Actually I’ve had a change in circumstance and will no longer need your assistance. I’m planning to stay in London indefinitely.”
Hope squealed in delight, “Really? That’s wonderful.”
Pierce paused before taking a bite of toast. Looking at Elliot he noticed that something in his countenance had changed. Setting the uneaten toast back down on his plate, he brushed the crumbs from his fingers and said, “Dare I ask what your change in circumstance is?”
Elliot sat back in his chair, crossing one booted foot casually over his thigh. “It seems I’m getting married.”
Pierce spit out the mouthful of tea that he had just swallowed. Noelle looked at him with disgust while a shocked Hope reached over and began wiping up the mess with her napkin, never once taking her eyes from Elliot.
“You’ve got to stop doing this to me,” Pierce snarled as he took the napkin from a distracted Hope and finished cleaning up the mess himself. “What in the devil are you talking about this time? You better have a good explanation.”
Elliot shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, knowing his attitude would peeve his friend. “As soon as I’m finished with business here, I’m heading over to see Felicity and making arrangements for her to become my wife as soon as possible.”
“And you think she’ll accept?” Pierce asked incredulously.
“If she knows what’s best for her and our child she will.”
Pierce was baffled. Had he heard him right? While he silently sat trying to make sense of what Elliot was saying Hope interjected with a giggle, “Oh so now you’re a father?” Obviously she didn’t believe him. When he just looked at her without amusement she sobered and said, “Elliot, have you lost your mind? I know you’ve been through a lot lately but maybe it has all finally taken its toll on you.”
Ladies of Deception 02 - Misleading Lord Martineau Page 10
