My heart tumbled painfully. “I did too. I guess…” I shrugged helplessly. “I’m afraid if we had anything before, it’s gone now. It vaporized with Randy’s explosion.”
He was silent for a bit, and then, “So space, huh? I know that feeling.”
I followed his gaze to Reyna, and her husband, Jimmy. They stood under the music tent talking to a drummer. Jimmy gestured animatedly with one hand, his other firmly around Reyna’s waist. She leaned her head on his shoulder, at peace, in love.
“Did you ever tell her?”
His gaze shot to mine, wariness and sadness crossed his handsome features. “No. Never will, either. Look at them...” He squinted at me. “How did you know?”
I’d been to visit them at the detective agency office a few times. It didn’t take a detective to see the way his gaze followed her, the way he twisted his life like a pretzel to fit what she needed in a partner.
I tapped my head with my finger. “I resonate well with quiet anguish. I pick it up like radar.”
“Nice,” he smirked. “Like, pain-dar?”
“Something like that.”
Salem slapped his hands on his thighs and stood up. He faced me, put out his hand for me to take. “Let’s get our miserable selves out there, shall we?”
I took his hand. “Why not?”
He led me to the music, a medium-paced, trumpety tune which I had no idea how to move to. We stepped on each other’s feet and laughed. It felt good after so much time, to just be in the moment for, well, a moment.
We passed Reyna and Jimmy on our trek around the dance floor and she waved at us. She winked as we danced by, and I saw Salem’s smile falter when he turned away. Reyna loved Salem. Only her sisterly love wasn’t the kind he wanted. She’d always thought of him as a brilliant younger brother, a protégé, not the man he wanted her to see.
My heart broke for him.
“Their romance was hard fought, you know,” I reminded him. “Took them four years and two states away to figure out they couldn’t be without each other.”
“I know,” Salem answered back. “I was with her for three of them, and you know what I regret?”
“What?”
“Letting those years go by without saying one thing about how I felt.”
I was suddenly sad again. Words wouldn’t fix my problem with Jake. Not words or deeds, or declarations of anything could bring back what my family took from him and his parish. It couldn’t win his trust. Now, more than ever, after breaking into Faulk’s office.
The song wound to an end and Salem turned with me.
Jake walked up to us and my gaze went to his jawline. He stood facing Salem and me.
My heart vaulted into my throat. Jake, in his uniform and hat, looking at me like he was, made me understand the word, swoon. And yet, my stomach fluttered nervously. What was he doing here? Did he mean to escort me to the city limits?
“Jake, uh, Sheriff Ayers, this is Salem Pratt. He’s uh…”
I couldn’t form words. Stifling the need to run the other direction, I spaced on what to say.
“I’m a colleague of Riley’s,” Salem cut in. “Pleased to meet you.”
Jake nodded to Salem, his gaze holding mine with intensity.
It sent a flutter of desire through me. I gritted my teeth, frustrated by my reaction to him.
If he told me to leave again I believed I would crumble to ashes and blow away.
I stiffened, but his face didn’t hold anger or irritation.
Instead, he pulled a sad smile that made his eyes all the more entrancing. He cleared his throat. Was he nervous?
“We need to sort ourselves out here, Riley.” He extended his hand. “Would you please dance with me?”
I didn’t expect that.
“You want to dance with me?” I repeated like an idiot. “But I thought—”
“Just talk with me. Let me explain.” Jake’s expression tugged at me.
Salem murmured something about more cocoa and pushed me towards Jake. “Nice meeting you, Sheriff.” Salem retreated.
Jake reached out, took my hand, and placed it on his forearm. Leading to the dance floor, he turned, one hand grasping mine in his, the other slipping to the small of my back.
The song beat a slow rhythm and Jake pulled me close, our clasped hands nestled at our shoulders, his palm gently pressing me against him.
I waited for him to speak, but he didn’t. He just swayed with me slowly and then I was laying my head on his chest, listening to the music and feeling the strength of him against my cheek. A shudder of longing and sadness trilled through me. I shut my eyes and wished we were in another time, another place. I wished my brother hadn’t died here. I wished so many people hadn’t died here. I wished Jake and I had a chance.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Riley,” Jake murmured. “I don’t know how else to say it, but straight out. I never meant for anything to harm you.”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t look up at him. I just held on tighter.
We danced together, my heart pounding I didn’t know what I felt other than desperate dread that this would be the last time he ever held me.
“This thing,” Jake said quietly. “What’s happened with your brother, I don’t know how to keep it from getting in the way of…” His voice trailed off, thick with what he didn’t say.
“Of what?” I murmured. “Please tell me because I don’t know what to think.”
He didn’t answer, and I stole a glance at his face. He brushed the back of his fingers down my cheek, his dark eyes holding mine. “I don’t know, Riley. I don’t know what this is yet, do you?”
The wind picked up, tossing my hair and he brushed it from my face. His gaze sent a flare through me, heat rising up into my cheeks, and I looked away.
“I don’t know either, Jake,” I managed despite the ache in my throat. “But I wish…”
A far away flash lit up his face and he leaned in with a whisper of a smile on his lips.
“Storm’s coming.” Jake’s low voice brushed my temple.
I took in his profile as he searched the heavens; the strong angle of his jaw, the way his hair fell into his eyes just a little, but it was the way he looked back down into mine that sent ripples thrumming through me. Why did I have to want him so much?
He noticed my silence. “Riley?”
“Jake, I—”
Bright hot streaks spidered down from the roiling sky, a jagged vein that spiked the earth.
I jumped while still in his arms. I gasped, and then the roar barreled over us, rolling along the field like a dark blast. Jake held me steady.
The music staggered to a stop, the musicians’ faces lighting up with another volley of lightning.
A child cried, and then another.
All around us on the dance floor, at the tables, people stopped talking and started gathering their things, a disturbed murmur rippling through the festival goers.
“We better get inside.”
The look in his dark eyes made my heart ramp up. He laced his fingers through mine and pulled me behind him.
“Allons-y… Let’s go, folks,” he said over the gaggle of voices. “It’ll start pouring in no time.”
No sooner had the words left his mouth than the air around us rocked with the force of another thundering blast.
I shook with the violence of it, shocked at the sudden vicious turn in the weather. A whipping wind scoured the tables as we hurried past, throwing the paper plates and napkins around in a whirl.
Jake grabbed a police radio off a table. It crackled in his hand.
“Toughie, see if we can get a hold of Rick and Dan. We’re going to need some help with traffic out of here.”
I heard a garbled response.
Jake took us towards the town hall.
The white clapboard façade flashed in the night and I braced myself for more thunder. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Salem, Reyna, and Jimmy run for their SUV. I remembered the packet they’
d given me.
“Wait.” I stopped short and pulled my hand from Jake’s. “The packet, I need the packet.”
Jake turned, confused.
The thunder rocketed over us bringing with it driving nails of cold rain.
I ran back to the dance floor, my heels slipping on the slick surface as I wormed between people scrambling for cover.
Cold, wet spikes needled their way into my collar and down my face. The rain was hard, driven by the wind. I threw my arms over my head, dashing water from my eyes.
Jake called and I felt his hand brush the back of my head as he reached for me, but I kept running. I couldn’t lose that information.
Scanning for the manila envelope, I spotted it, grabbed it and turned, disoriented. Thrown by the churning crowd, I didn’t know which direction to run. I’d lost Jake.
“Jake.” I tried to shout, but the cacophony of people, cars, and rain on the canvas tents drowned me out. I strained to see him, but couldn’t.
“Get in from the rain, Red,” a voice sounded, and I turned to see Pilkey scamper towards the pie tent.
Through the crowd, a hand reached out, clasped mine, and then I was nestled against Jake again as we moved towards the town hall. He propelled me forward with his body, one hand out to clear our path.
“Over here.” He pushed us through a side door and into a small kitchen.
People stood around us, shaking the water from their hair and clothes, half-laughing.
“I’ve never been this soaked in just a few seconds,” I breathed. “What a downpour.” I trembled in my rain-drenched clothes.
He wrapped both arms around me, hugging me to his warm body, and I tried to stop the chatter of my teeth.
Outside the kitchen window cars started up. Headlights glared off the glass as people pulled up to tents and the town hall, to gather up their family members.
“You’ll catch your death.” A thin woman, with wispy blonde hair now matted to her face, smiled at us. She pulled her jacket tighter and nodded towards the hall. “You should get a towel.”
I noticed for the first time that most of the people wore slickers or waterproof wind breakers. I guess I was the only one who didn’t know how to dress for weather. The tourist, caught unaware.
“Harold getting the truck?” Jake asked her and she nodded.
“There he is, in fact,” she said cheerfully and sprinted out the door.
“She’s right. You’re soaked,” Jake said.
“How is it everyone knew the rain was coming, but me?”
“It’s the same every year here.” Jake turned, his hand reaching back for mine.
I grabbed it and let him pull me through the few people left.
“You call Toughie?” An older man with no hair, save for bushy eyebrows and a grey beard that brushed his chest, called to Jake as we passed.
“He’s on his way. Rick and Dan, too,” Jake assured him.
We walked down the hall, past meeting rooms and offices, to a small waiting room with white wicker couches lining the walls.
Jake grabbed a towel off a stack near a tray with water bottles and a bowl of mints. He wrapped it around my shoulders, pulling it together at my neck.
I slipped my hands over his, looking at him, my mind going a million miles a minute.
What had he meant to say to me on the dance floor? Had he changed his mind? Did he not want me to go? I pushed the spark of hope down deep. I couldn’t handle another rip at my heart.
Static from his radio punctuated the silence, back and forth comments from the deputies echoing in the small room.
“I should get out there…make sure everyone gets home safe.” He didn’t move, kept his grip on the towel. “They need me.”
“Yeah,” I breathed.
His gaze took in my mouth and my eyes, and I felt him tug on the towel gently, drawing me nearer. I went, letting myself go off balance, leaning into his space.
“This is a bad idea, Riley,” he whispered. “You shouldn’t stay.”
His lips brushed my eyelids, the tip of my nose, and sent a tremor of want rippling over me. Tilting his head lower, he ran the bridge of his nose against my cheek, back and forth, like he was telling himself to stop.
My heart fluttered with his touch. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to leave him.
I let go of his hands, spiked my fingers through his hair and pulled him to me.
A low growl sounded, and then he clutched me, his lips finding mine with a heat so intense I gasped in a ragged breath. He ran his hand down my back, grabbed my blouse, and crushed me to him. A soft moan escaped my lips, the feel of him making my head spin.
And then he was moving away, whispering that he was sorry, and pulling my arms from around his neck.
“What’s wrong?”
He put his forehead to mine, his eyes squeezed shut, struggling for breath. “I shouldn’t have done that, Riley.”
“Why?” I felt my heart tumble, squeeze with sadness. “Is it because of Citrine?”
“What about Citrine?”
“I – I know that you two were almost married. That Michelle might be yours.” I fought to control the tremor in my voice, to hide the hurt.
“Michelle might be—” A bewildered look moved across his features. “Who have you been talking to?”
“It’s not true?”
He took my hands and held them to his chest. “Michelle isn’t mine, she’s Jason’s. Citrine and my brother eloped while I was gone. I never…” He shook his head. “That’s what we fought about that night.”
“So you two aren’t…” I couldn’t say it.
“No, Riley.” Jake whispered. “I only want you.”
“Then I don’t understand.” I reached for him again, touched his lip, and he caught my hand. He twined his fingers through mine, and held our hands between us.
“Because I don’t want to steal kisses from you in dark rooms.” His eyes searched mine, his face tender. “You deserve more than that.”
“You don’t want to kiss me?” I felt my lip tremble.
He chuckled softly. “That’s completely not what I just said.”
“Then what…?”
Jake reached out, took a lock of my hair in his hand, and let his fingers slide down to its end. He seemed to be struggling for words. “Do you know why I danced with you out there?” He asked, finally.
“You like jazz?”
“Because the whole town was out there watching and I wanted them to see, no matter what they might think, that I was proud to be with you.”
I was moved beyond belief. “You’d do that for me?”
“Riley,” his voice grew thick. “I’d move mountains for you.”
“But you said I should leave.”
“I want you to be safe. Even if it kills me to have you go.” He took my hand and kissed the top of it gently.
I felt a surge of something more than emotion, more than physical longing.
I felt something true.
A thousand thoughts crashed in my head. Relief and longing and joy bubbled and fell in my heart and I didn’t have words. I smiled through tears. “Jake…” My breath hitched and I wiped at my eyes.
He flashed me a crooked grin and handed me a handkerchief from his pocket. “You better stop that before you dehydrate yourself.”
“You really don’t want me to leave La Foudre?”
“No, Riley,” Jake said softly, and smoothed a strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t want you to leave at all.”
19
“I went and had a talk with Dennis’s father, the judge.”
Jake and I sat quietly in the room for a few moments while I tried to get myself together and wipe the ruined makeup from my eyes.
“Judge? I thought he was a deputy. That was why–you looked the other way.”
Jake shook his head. “Dennis and his mother were in a car accident a few months back. Dennis was driving. He survived, but his mom…”
I understood the
n, why Jake took such care with that family. Tragedy, I’ve learned, is seldom sketched in clear lines.
“Dennis and his father, do they fight?”
“No, they don’t do anything. They can’t even look at each other.” Jake hugged me, sighed deeply. “The judge is in a wheel chair, Riley. He’s no threat to Dennis physically, but sometimes the kid just needs to get out of the house. Sometimes a death can eat up the oxygen in a home and you have to escape for a bit.”
“The equipment you wanted Toughie to secure…”
“The judge fell out of his wheelchair once, trying to keep Dennis from leaving,” Jake explained.
Guilt wormed its way through me. I’d accused Jake of something dishonorable and I was completely wrong. “I’m so sorry, Jake.”
He shook his head. “I want you to trust me, Riley. To know that I wouldn’t let a kid in trouble go it alone.”
It hit me then, the draw Jake had on me. His nobility and sacrifice…shades of what I knew from my own father. Jake would never be intimidated by my family, he’d understand them.
A voice, low and scratchy, called out to us from the hallway. “Jake?” It was Toughie.
“There a problem, Toughie?” Jake asked calmly.
The older deputy glanced down at our clasped hands and then back at Jake’s face, his grey mustache twitching.
I tensed and felt a reassuring squeeze from Jake’s hand.
“Red,” Toughie nodded to me after a few seconds. “Sorry to pull Jake away, but we have a bus nearly overturned in a ravine.”
Jake sighed, and adjusted the hat on his head. “Any injuries?”
“Just irritated musicians.”
“All right, I’ll be out.”
Toughie tipped his hat to me, nodded to Jake, and walked back out.
“I thought he was going to…” I shrugged.
“I know. Someone might still have an opinion about you and I.” Jake watched my face and I knew he was looking for doubt.
“Yeah.” I didn’t have wise words, or even tough ones. The worry in my heart wasn’t lost on me. This thing with Jake, whatever it turned out to be, would be hard won.
“Is your car here?” Jake asked.
“No, I had the rental place pick it up. I caught a ride here with Reyna.”
Bayou Blue Page 18
