He started breakfast in hopes this would be enough to get his body to settle back down completely. If he was lucky, he might actually go a whole five minutes without wanting to explode.
He laughed softly as he gathered the ingredients necessary for a big breakfast and recalled the events of the previous night. Since he’d realized how he felt about Pepper, he never once doubted that they were a perfect match. Last night had solidified that belief.
She was the one person in his life who managed to always put him firmly in his place when his tendency to steamroll went unchecked. It was one of the things he loved most about her. She was never afraid to speak her mind and level the playing field.
He shook his head at his lack of finesse in the shower. He hadn’t intentionally meant to make her feel like some object. The whole escapade had started as a way to rip the band aid off of her fear of sleeping in the same bed as him. Which, technically, in retrospect, he supposed he’d accomplished. His dick just wasn’t fully appreciative of that fact yet.
After she’d left him stranded and desperate in the shower, it had taken him forever to get his hard-on under control. He hadn’t been joking when he told her there wasn’t enough cold water in the world to combat his arousal for her. The moment she left, he’d adjusted the temperature to an arctic blast, but the memory of her mouth on him was too strong. A half hour passed before he just gave up and accepted the fact that short of pulling Pepper back into his arms, nothing was going to offer him any relief.
Even now, doing the mundane task of cracking eggs into a bowl, the memory was enough to stir his cock back to life. He shifted his stance lightly to relieve the quickly growing pressure in his jeans. Down, boy. No woman had ever been able to distract and arouse him to the levels that Pepper did.
A re-affirmation of his plan was called for. As he mixed pancake batter, he mentally pulled up his “Operation Pepper” plan. He was tempted to consult the notes he’d written down in his projects journal but decided against it. The last thing he needed was for Pepper to find him reading his master plan. He was smart enough to realize that she might interpret his notes as too calculated an approach. But what else was he supposed to do? If he waited around for her to come to the same conclusion he’d already reached, they’d be too old to do anything about it.
He’d already accomplished two of the biggest hurdles by getting her to come to the cabin and convincing her to stay. Admittedly, he was floundering a bit in the effort to convince her marriage was the perfect course of action, but he wasn’t completely losing the battle either.
Despite all of her protestations, she was still responsive to him both physically and emotionally. Yesterday had proven that their friendship extended naturally into romance, whether she wanted to concede the point yet or not.
What he needed was a little more patience. He thought briefly on his “plan B” but quickly dismissed it. As enjoyable as it may be, he didn’t want Pepper to doubt his genuine love for her. Now that he’d proven that his attraction to her wasn’t going away any time that century, he would back off a bit. He snorted softly into the air, just a little bit. He doubted he’d be able to have her in the same room as him, and not touch her, but he would try not to push her into any more heavy moments like he had last night.
His decision made, he focused his energy on completing breakfast and convincing his dick not to pounce on Pepper’s half-naked sleeping body across the room. He added a package of sausage links to a skillet and began to slowly let them sizzle. Mind over dick. Mind over dick. He was a grown man, with dual engineering degrees and a PhD. How difficult could it be?
“Hey, do you need some help with that sausage?”
He turned to see Pepper leaning against the kitchen island, her hair mussed and her eyes still slightly hooded from sleep.
He let his gaze travel over her curvy legs exposed by her make-shift night gown, to rest on her large dark nipples clearly visible through the white fabric. Well, shit. He brought his gaze up to her face as her lush mouth opened wide to let out a yawn, before her perfect pink tongue slipped out and slicked across her full lips. In a matter of seconds, his cock stretched to full mast. Ten years of higher education completely wasted.
Pepper stood blinking up at Jax, admiring the thick lines of his muscular chest as she bit back a sigh. She had to admit that waking up to find him half naked and cooking breakfast was a definite perk to being locked away with him.
The smell of the sizzling food had pulled her from a delicious dream that still had her core wet and aching. Her body kept thrumming with the memory of it when she rolled over and saw him across the room wearing nothing but a pair of snug, worn blue jeans. Before she could think better of it, she’d padded across the bedroom into the kitchen and approached his turned back.
She couldn’t keep her gaze from taking in every inch of his exposed flesh. She doubted she’d ever get tired of the view. Finally, she made her way up to his face, her brow wrinkling in surprise at his scowl.
How could she forget how obsessed with breakfast he was? She suspected it was most likely due to the fact that morning meals were the only ones he actually knew how to prepare without burning. Whenever he’d ever made her breakfast, he’d always insisted on doing everything himself.
Recalling her question regarding helping, she rolled her eyes.
“Okay, sorry I forgot about your culinary expertise, Chef Grey. I’m gonna go get dressed, and I expect a full plate when I get back.” She smiled teasingly at him.
Her words only seemed to make his scowl deepen. Shaking her head at him, she turned to leave, but before she could take one step, his hands gripped her around her waist.
The room spun, and by the time it righted itself again, the cool surface of the granite countertop graced the underneath of her rear. He nudged her legs apart and stepped in between her thighs. She bit back a moan at the feel of his erection prodding at her through his thick jeans.
“I thought we settled the whole no man-handling thing last night,” she said, giving him a frown of her own.
He cupped her cheeks in his palms and leaned down, his forehead touching hers and his evergreen gaze capturing her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to be a grouch.”
She reached up and placed her hands on his forearms.
“If you’re so sorry, then why is my butt frozen on this cold counter?”
She smiled at him, hoping to tease a smile out of his serious face.
His eyes crinkled before he dropped his hands down to cup her ass. He squeezed her cheeks before yanking her forward, forcing her to wrap her legs and arms around him to prevent herself from falling.
“Jax—”
“You forgot to give me my good morning kiss.”
He held her hips firmly against his as he nibbled at her exposed collarbone.
“Shouldn’t you actually wait to be offered one before taking it?”
“Not if the giver is shy.”
Her breaths became choppy as his hips began a slow grind against her center and his lips made their way up her neck.
“I doubt that I’ve ever been described as shy.” She breathed out the words as her hips began to match his rhythm.
A sound resembling a growl rumbled up his chest. Who knew? She could make Jaxon Grey growl.
“Prove it.”
He crushed his lips to hers before licking into her mouth in a sweet sensual kiss that had her legs locking harder around his waist and her hands curling into his hair. In a matter of seconds, he had her lost in a long lazy kiss, a hot entanglement of stoking tongues and sensuous nips.
If she didn’t know any better, she would say the kiss lay filled with promise. But she did know better, didn’t she? She pushed the wayward thought aside and pulled Jaxon closer, her hips jerking in tune with his languid thrusts of tongue.
No man had ever been able to make her as hot as Jax did. No one had even been able to douse her body in heat so quickly she felt like she was on fire with only a kiss
. One wickedly, luscious, searing kiss.
She inhaled deep, wanting to stamp his scent in her memory forever, breathing in the clean woodsy smell of his skin and the acrid smell of smoke.
Her butt reconnected with the island surface just seconds before Jax wrenched his lips away from hers and raced to the stove.
It took her several seconds to realize the pungent smell was coming from the burning pile of sausage smoking sadly away into a charred mess.
Jax quickly turned off the stove and pushed the smoldering lumps onto a back-burner. He stood looking down at the smoking pan, waving a dishtowel over it. He still sported an impressive erection and wore such a forlorn look on his face that Pepper couldn’t hold back a giggle.
The scowl was back on his face as he peered at her through the haze of smoke.
“What’s so funny?”
She hopped off the island, struggling to control her snickers.
“You burned your sausage.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty evident.”
“You kissed me and burned your sausage.” She was laughing full out now, the humor in the situation bringing tears to her eyes.
His lips twitched slightly at the corners before firming into a hard line. “I fail to see what’s so funny about that.”
“Oh, you see,” she said, turning away from him and holding her sides in laughter. “You definitely see.”
“It’s not funny,” he yelled as she made her way to the bathroom.
She pumped her fist into the air before slamming the door shut behind her.
Feminists, unite!
Chapter Twelve
Pepper had seen a lot of cute things in her life. She’d caught glimpses of baby screech owls all lined in a row on willow branches. She’d observed newly-born kittens mewling awake and cuddling together. She’d even had the pleasure of witnessing her niece’s first steps. But nothing she had ever seen was as cute as Jaxon Grey in a full-on pout.
When she’d returned from the bathroom to get dressed, she’d found him sitting on the bed huddled over one of his worn black and red notebooks. Over the years, she’d gotten used to seeing him like that. Despite his love of all things electronic, he never seemed able to really focus on a problem unless he could brainstorm it out on paper. It wasn’t unusual to find him at his desk or in the computer lab with his shoulders hunched over one of his journals in concentration.
She’d also learned through the years that he tended to use his notes as a way of escaping other issues he didn’t feel like solving at the moment.
When she entered the room, he’d quickly shut the book and shoved it into one of the nightstand drawers, hurriedly stating that he’d finally thought of a solution to a problem he’d been working on in the lab and wanted to jot down a few notes before he forgot.
Considering his silence since then, she suspected he was most likely trying to avoid dealing with her, not solving some logic problem.
Now she sat on the couch feigning reading a book, with her feet plopped on his lap while he absently rubbed at them, a small furrow digging between his brows. He’d been deep in thought for the last hour, and since their kiss that morning he’d all but stuck out his bottom lip and thrown himself in a tantrum on the floor.
He was obviously distracted, and whatever conclusions he had drawn from their make-out session earlier were whirling around in that sexy brain of his, affecting his mood. She was tempted to try to ferret the information out of him, but decided to enjoy her reprieve while it lasted.
For the first time since she’d arrived at the cabin, she didn’t feel overwhelmed by Jax and the attraction she had for him. She finally had some breathing room, and yet, still she couldn’t keep her heart from thinking what ifs.
What if she gave in to the wild idea of marrying Jax? Could she really stay in a marriage when she knew the love didn’t flow both ways? What if no matter what her choice happened to be, they lost their friendship in the end? What would happen to them? What would happen to eTheorial? What if—Argh!
She sounded like a sappy heroine from some angst-filled teen drama. She was a grown woman, so why was it so hard for her to make a decision?
Glancing across at Jax, her pulse leaped. The answer was quite simple, really. Either choice she made didn’t change the fact that she loved him, and it wouldn’t change the fact that he didn’t. At least, not in the way she craved.
He can learn to love me.
She shook her head at the sad thought. Now she sounded like some delusional woman who thought she could change a man. She was shaking her head, ready to dismiss the sorry thought, when she stopped. Why wouldn’t he fall in love with her?
It had taken her years to truly see where her heart lay, so why couldn’t it be the same for him? The chemistry between the two of them was undeniable. They’d been close friends for years and knew all of each other’s faults.
She was intelligent, accomplished, had a decent sense of humor, and had been told by more than a few men that she was attractive. She straightened her shoulders and stiffened her spine. Why wouldn’t he love her? She was freaking awesome. What was wrong with Jax?
She scowled at his bowed head.
For such a smart man, he obviously had difficulty making simple decisions. He’d figured out he was ready to get married, but couldn’t see that she was more than just the perfect wife for him, but that she was the perfect woman for him, period. Maybe she should reconsider loving him since she’d apparently grossly misjudged his IQ score. Her temper rose the longer she stared at him.
She yanked her feet from his lap, and stood standing over him with her fists planted on her hips.
“I’m going for a walk!”
A look of confusion flicked across his face before his expression cleared.
“I’ll go with you. I could use some air.”
“No, thanks. I’d rather be alone.”
She turned and marched to the front door. She’d slipped on her boots and was already out of the door and shrugging into her coat by the time he reached for her.
“Pep, what the hell—”
“Stuff it,” she yelled as she stomped down the porch steps. He shouted something about a Plan B, but his words were cut satisfyingly short by the sound of the door slamming as she headed down the back trail.
“Screw you and all of your stupid plans,” she mumbled the words under her breath, letting her anger seep into her skin.
She trekked for several minutes before she realized she had no idea where she was going.
Pausing, she took a look around her, letting her gaze shift from the snow-tipped evergreens and to the moss and ice-slicked boulders around her. She was in the middle of a clearing, higher up the mountain than she had gone yesterday. She could see the cabin below her down a little ways. Fortunately, she could also see her footsteps tracked in the snow.
She shrugged her shoulders. At least, she wouldn’t have to worry about finding her way back. Not that she wanted to go back. She didn’t want to spend another minute with the man who was too dumb to realize he should be in love with her … which was a complete lie, of course.
She breathed a heavy sigh into the cold air, her breath making puffs of smoke.
Jax was too heavily ingrained in her life and heart for her to ever really walk away from him. Spotting a nearby boulder, she slumped down onto the frozen rock, trying to get her racing thoughts and temper under control.
She hated feeling like some lovelorn loser who couldn’t get her stuff together. The only thing she was sure of was that she wanted Jax, more than her next breath. The thought alone had her groaning in derision. It was official. She was a lovelorn loser.
For goodness’ sake, where had she left her pride? She kicked at the snow on the ground. So what if Jax hadn’t said he loved her?
She’d worked her ass off and earned her MBA by the time she was twenty-two. She’d helped build their business from the ground up and had head-hunters constantly trying to steal her away to run billion-dollar comp
anies. She could make CEOs quake in their boots. She was known as the corporate dragon slayer and here she sat moping about like a sniveling—a sniveling coward.
She let that absolute truth set in.
From the moment she’d woken up in bed with him a few months ago, she’d been a coward. Instead of honestly putting her feelings on the table, she’d run away from the whole situation like some little girl who was afraid her crush would laugh at her. She wasn’t mad at Jax. She was angry with herself.
Despite his wild proposal, he had at least taken a chance. What had she done? When she’d woken in his arms after their first night together, instead of having courage and telling him how she felt, she’d rushed him out of her home and tried to pretend their friendship was salvageable.
It wasn’t.
She tilted her head back and blinked up into the smoke-grey sky. The truth was that the moment she’d kissed him, the moment she’d begged for his touch, was the moment their friendship warped and changed. Tears filled her eyes as she finally admitted that it was also the moment their friendship had ended. At least, that era of their friendship—and it was all her fault. There had been a brief moment when it could have been something more, but she’d run scared.
Jax may not have said he loved her, but neither had she let him know her true feelings. For the first time, she let herself imagine what would have happened if she had. Would he have returned the same feelings? Was it possible that he could have felt the same sense of rightness she had that night?
She thought back to the expression that crossed his face that morning. Could she have been wrong? She’d assumed it was a look of regret, but what if it was something else? She had barely let him speak before kicking him out, but what would have happened if she had let him stay? If she had woken in his arms and pulled him in close instead of pushing him away?
A strong gust of wind blew across the clearing. She tucked her chin down to her chest and crossed her arms, huddling against both the cutting cold and biting truth.
Admitting that she was being a hypocrite wasn’t exactly a warming experience. She’d stomped out of the cabin angry with him for proposing a marriage with no love—for not seeing how perfect they could be together, but she’d never given him any indication that love was what she wanted.
Persuasion Skills Page 8
