“Move!” I slipped through a couple, hitting the stairs up to the ground level, stumbling up the uneven stone steps. I practically fell out the door, knocking into the doorman.
“Watch it, lass.” The six-foot bouncer frowned down at me. I ignored him, stepping out farther into the alley, the icy temperatures needling my bare arms.
Besides the line waiting to get into the club, the lane was empty. I twirled around, looking down the long row. “Where’d he go? He can’t just disappear.” Druids were good, but we couldn’t just vanish into nothing. Right?
Lorcan came next to me, his nose flaring, taking in a deep breath. “I can’t pick up anything. Too many people here.”
Not ready to give up, I took off down the passage, heading for the main street. When I reached the end, I scanned the road. Couples and groups of people dotted down the sidewalks, cars zoomed by, but I didn’t detect magic from anyone.
“Dammit!” I stomped my foot.
“Whoever he is, he’s long gone,” Lorcan said next to me.
“Our one chance and I already blew it.”
“It’s only our first night. I have a feeling he will be back.” He curved around to me, his fingers tugging at the sweatshirt tied around my waist, pulling it around my shoulders. “Think we should call it a night.”
I rubbed my eyes, giving the street one last sweep. “Yeah.”
“Come on. We need to get our jackets, then I’ll get you a hot chocolate on the way back.” His hands slid down my arms, warming them. My gaze met Lorcan’s and he dropped his hands away. It seemed so easy for us to fall into how we were before.
“Chocolate. Yes.” I nodded with a small smile. “That always helps.”
When we reached our hostel after my stomach was full of sweet cocoa, exhaustion from the long day finally smacked me over the head. I took off my boots and jeans and climbed onto the bed, not bothering to change into the pajamas Lars had put in my bag. I was still sad about losing my favorite T-shirt in Freiburg.
Lorcan locked the door. Then the bed creaked and dipped as he sat on the edge. His boots hit the floor with a thunk. At the sound of fabric swishing against skin, my eyes popped open with a start.
He tossed his Henley onto his bag across the room and sat there, his scarred back facing me. Those scars were permanent memories donated by Aneira and his father. I longed to reach out and touch them, trail my fingers all the way down.
Suddenly I was no longer tired. The realization of our bed situation barreled into the room, scooping up my breath.
Earlier I was upset enough to think I’d make him sleep on the floor, but I couldn’t do that.
1.) It was disgusting. I could see the dirt on it from here.
2.) He’d have to sleep halfway under the bed just to be able to lie down.
3.) There were no extra blankets.
My hand went to my chest, as though I could cover up its hammering. It was pointless as Lorcan could hear it from the next room. He didn’t move, his elbows on his knees, just staring at the wall.
“I’ll see if they have a double tomorrow,” he said, standing up. “Get to sleep.”
“Where are you going?” I propped myself on my arm, alarm swamping me.
“Nowhere, just going to sit here. Let you get some sleep.” He still wouldn’t face me, standing in the middle of the small room.
“You need sleep too.”
“I’m fine.”
“No. You’re not.” I sat all the way up. “When was the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
A cankerous laugh crackled out of him. “Since meeting you?”
“How well can you protect me if you are about to fall over?” I spoke in desperation to keep him close, not with logic. “We’re safe in here. Now get in this bed before I make you.”
Lorcan swung around. “Make me?”
I lifted my eyebrows. “Remember I’m a Druid. I can make you if I want.”
We both knew I was full of shit. I couldn’t make him do anything.
“Are you talking about black magic?” His eyes twinkled with naughtiness. “My, my, li’l Druid. Walkin’ on the dark side?”
“If I have to.” I shrugged. Black magic had to be learned; it didn’t just come to you, not that I heard of anyway. And I never planned on doing that.
Yes, you do. You crave to taste it. A voice trickled into my head, tightening my gut. Black magic was forbidden. Wrong. It went against pure Druid magic. But my darkest desire stirred like a witch’s brew. Always there. I locked down on my jaw, shoving the thought far from my mind.
Lorcan returned to me and placed his palms on the bed, his face an inch from mine.
“Threatening me with black magic, just to get me in your bed?” He spoke low and husky. “You really are a Seelie Queen.”
I inhaled sharply, my back slamming into the wall behind me. Hurt and embarrassment flooded my cheeks and eyes, and I turned away from him, my lids blinking.
“Ken…”
“No.” I gritted my teeth, fighting back the tears. Suddenly so hot I couldn’t stand the feeling of my sweater, I tore it off down to my tank, then turned my back on him, lying down.
“Ken, I didn’t mean it.” He huffed.
I tucked my arm under my head, digging farther into the pillow.
“Hey.” The bed dipped with his weight, his hand resting on my shoulder.
I twisted away from his contact, almost rolling on my stomach. “Good night, Lorcan.”
“Kennedy,” he sighed, his voice soft. “I’m sorry. That was too far.”
I squeezed my lids together, feeling one tear wedge through. I wasn’t upset because a boy called me names. Hell, I was used to that. High school trained me for such things. I wasn’t that weak or thin skinned. What upset me was this feeling of truth in his joke. I wasn’t Aneira. I knew that, but I couldn’t deny the darkness inside. And it frightened me.
“Kennedy, talk to me. You’re not angry…you’re scared…I can feel it.”
I wrenched my neck to look at him over my shoulder. He reached up, wiping the single tear from my cheek, waiting for me to talk.
“I feel it,” I whispered, gazing back at the wall.
“Feel what?”
“Darkness.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t explain it, but it’s been happening for a few weeks now.” I stared at the ceiling. “Maybe even before. I sense this power. And it’s dark.” I shifted higher on the pillow. “I know it shouldn’t be possible, but that doesn’t take away from what I feel.”
He was quiet for a moment before speaking. “You can’t have light without darkness.”
“This is different.”
“How?”
I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think of what I could feel underneath. I understood the harmony of dark and light. Nature used balance. But black magic wasn’t the yang to Druid magic. Our magic naturally already had good and bad intent. Black magic was its own entity. And it had no good in it.
I reached and grabbed his hand, tugging his arm into me. He didn’t say a word, following my lead; he climbed in beside me, curving around my body.
The heat from his arms folding protectively over me gave me complete serenity. Briefly, the restless part of me, the one always searching for something, finally relented.
I drifted off to sleep, finally at peace.
SIXTEEN
Over the next three days Lorcan and I spent our time researching and investigating leads to the Irish Republican Army or the DLR, not coming up with much. We spent our nights at the underground club, but my Druid guy never came back. Still, I couldn’t lose the feeling of being watched.
With no results and an annoyed call from Lars about our progress, I was getting frustrated and losing hope on how we were going to proceed.
“One more night at the club, then we try a different lead.” Lorcan rubbed his neck, prowling behind me in the small room. “I was sure he’d be back. He had to feel your powe
r. It’s too strong to ignore.”
I hooked the fake ring into my nose and brushed out my shorter black hair in the mirror. My eyes were rimmed with black eyeliner under my glasses, my tank top showing off my tattoos. For once in my life I looked tough. And I liked it.
“I have an idea, but you’re not going to be happy with it.” He was going to hate it.
Lorcan’s eyes met mine in the reflection, his lids narrowing. “No.”
“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” I tossed my brush onto my bag, facing him.
“Yes, I do.” He shook his head. “There is no way in hell I’m going to let you go by yourself.”
Dammit. “That’s not what I was thinking.” Yes, it was.
Lorcan slanted his head, his gaze level with mine.
“Fine.” I huffed. “But I wasn’t thinking you’d stay here or anything. You could still be in the club. Just not near me. Maybe you’re scaring him away.”
Lorcan prowled up to me, his shoulders curved.
“Yeah, exactly like that.” I motioned to him.
“I am not leaving you alone.” He loomed over me. The feel of his beast prickled at the edges. “If anything happened and I couldn’t get to you...”
“I can take care of myself, you know.” I put my hands on my hips. “I’ve tossed your butt in the dirt a few times, dweller. Don’t make me out as some helpless girl.”
“Kenn—”
“I’ve done perfectly fine without you for sixteen months.” I cut him off, hating I had let him know I had noticed. Noticed and counted. “I don’t need you to protect me. I am a Druid. Not the weak human you first met.”
“You were never weak.” He snarled and pressed in closer.
“Then why are you treating me like I am?” I pushed at his chest, not buckling under his threatening form.
“You are by far smarter, stronger, and more capable than me.” Anger rumbled in his voice. “I know you can handle it.”
“Then what is this about?”
He peered at the ceiling.
“What?”
His face flickered, like he was struggling with something, but he swiftly locked his jaw, turning away from me. The moment vanished.
“Fine. But I will be there. I’ll stay in the shadows.” He grabbed his jacket, shoving his arms through the sleeves with irritation. “But if I get a whiff of anything off, the experiment is over.”
It was the best I was going to get. And in reality, I wanted him close. I felt better with him near.
The rock band was in full swing by the time I entered the crypt. The bouncer, who recognized me on sight, flicked up his eyebrows in surprise. “Alone tonight, lass?” His thick Irish brogue hung on the air, his eyes wandering down my body.
“By myself, but never alone.” A flirty smile pulled at my lips. Raven was blunt, confident, and comfortable in her own skin. Plus, it was true. I could feel the hooded dweller at the back of the line as potently as if he stood right next to me. I swear I could even hear a low grumble come from him.
The doorman eyed me, a salacious smile curving his mouth. “Well, if you get lonely down there, you can always come and keep me company.”
I placed my hand on his arm and smiled, slipping by him with a wink. A thrill of my forwardness rushed up the back of my neck, pulling my shoulders back. I tossed my heavier jacket in coat check and headed for the bar.
I had never been to a bar by myself. Actually, I hadn’t gone to any bars. I’d missed my twenty-first birthday while being held captive by Aneira. And when I returned, my life was no longer homework, movie nights, and boys. It became training, war, and death. Then when I became Queen, parties, clubbing, and whatever else people my age did were no longer options for me.
“Back again.” The bartender smiled at me, already grabbing the beer I had been favoring all week. His eyes drifted over my shoulder searching for my partner, but he didn’t comment about his absence.
“Thanks.” I handed him my money and took a long gulp. I let my hips move to the beat of the music, drifting around the crowded club. I inspected every group, trying to get a feel of the crowd. The same as it had been since the Druid ran out. Knowing my Awen tattoo was on full display, I tried to spot for any reactions. Nothing.
Everything pointed to another disappointing night. The only shift in the space was when Lorcan entered. It was bizarre how I knew exactly where he was. He altered the molecules in the air, his gaze brushing me with the potency of fingers.
“Hi.” A guy came up next to me at the bar, sparking a sense of familiarity. Had I seen him here before? He was around my age, lean, dark spiky hair, brown eyes, and wearing glasses. Cute and completely my type. Or what used to be my type. “My name’s Adam, but everyone calls me Wizard.”
“Wizard?”
“My computer skills. Not an actual one.” He grinned, fidgeting and awkward.
“Of course.”
“American?”
“Yeah. Starting at the Queen’s University this semester.” Raven’s story rolled off my tongue, and I almost giggled. Queen’s University. Funny. I guess in a way I was attending the Queen’s University of Life.
“What? Have something against the Queen?” The way he said it made me feel he wasn’t exactly talking about the university.
“Just not my top choice... of schools.” I weaved around his question.
“Not mine either. But could have been worse.” His Irish accent landed heavily on each word, his double meaning clear. “I graduated from Uni just before the war.” He bobbed on his feet, shoving his hands into his pocket. “So what is your name?”
“Raven,” I replied, finishing the last of my beer.
“Well, Raven, what do you do?”
“I am a supervisor of sorts.”
“Sounds grueling.”
“You have no idea.”
He smiled at me, dipping his head, a silence growing between us.
“Dance with me?” Adam blurted. He was so awkward and adorable. He was everything I used to like in a guy. And I had no interest in him. Damn you, dweller. Suddenly I felt daggers of irritation prickle my back from the shadows, raising up on its hackles.
“Sure.” I heard my response roll off my tongue, and I placed my hand in his, letting him lead me out to the dance floor. The song was in between slow and fast, and both of us struggled to find a beat.
“Sorry, I am genuinely bad at this.” He laughed nervously.
Kennedy would continue to dance awkwardly, not confident enough to take control. Raven reached out, clutching his hips with my palms, moving them in sync with mine. He laughed again, but moved in closer, his legs brushing against mine.
My back felt on fire as eyes from behind me burned into my skin. Lorcan had turned me down. We were not together, nor would we be. He had screwed every girl in sight. I was free to dance with anyone whenever I liked. But an image of Lorcan grinding on the gorgeous fae girl I saw when I entered sent blistering rage down my spine. I tossed the picture out with all my other thoughts.
Adam’s hand moved to my hip, and he pulled me close. His head bowed, his mouth close to mine. At high school parties, I saw people making out within minutes of meeting each other all the time, but it was never my style. I couldn’t do that. I always knew the guy I crushed on, probably for years.
But I wasn’t Kennedy tonight. I was Raven.
He shifted closer, his glasses hitting mine. “Sorry.” He blushed, his cheeks flushed, brightening his eyes. I smiled, trying to cover up my nerves. He leaned in closer, but stopped, swallowing nervously.
A déjà vu feeling struck me hard, a memory floating to me like I had been here before. A vision. A boy. A kiss.
My visions didn’t show me arbitrary moments in the future. They were important. Significant.
Before I could think of why I was doing it, my hands came to his face, pulling him down, my lips finding his. I had no idea why I was kissing this boy; I just knew I was supposed to. It was brief but filled with the a
ngst Raven carried on her shoulders. Raven would do something like that. She was aggressive and angry. An extremist. She took what she wanted.
“Damn.” Adam’s eyes widened. “I’m glad I got to come here tonight.”
“Thought we’d get it out of the way.” I shrugged, Raven taking over my behavior.
“I hope there will be more…getting things out of the way.” He grinned sheepishly.
I laughed, grabbing for his hand to go back to the bar. Raven needed liquor to stay dominant. My fingers slipped and pushed up his shirtsleeve, displaying a tattoo just above his wrist.
I froze, not believing what I saw. Three thick lines with three dots. “Awen,” I whispered, and my gaze darted up to him. It was the Druid symbol, but I felt no magic coming from him. He was human.
“Shit.” He jerked his hand back, pushing down his sleeve. His head turned toward the corner of the club. I followed his gaze. The bearded guy from the first night stood near the stairs. I whipped back to Adam, trying to understand what was going on.
He was gone. Crap! Then I saw Adam push through the throng, heading for the other man.
“Wait,” I yelled, already in chase. No way was I going to lose them again. But the packed club conspired against me, hindering my progress as I swam upstream against the current of people on the dance floor.
Adam’s spiky hair came into view as the pair jogged up the stairs near the exit. Adam’s brown eyes looked back, catching mine, before they disappeared through the door.
No! I couldn’t lose them.
My muscles snapped with energy, barreling me through bodies near the steps. I shoved them out of my way as my boots grazed the stone, and I leaped toward the door, my heart pounding in my chest. I slammed through the door and curved around the large body blocking the door.
“Already lonely, eh?” The bouncer’s chuckle stopped when I ran past him, my head swiveling up and down the alley. Panic dripped down the back of my throat, dread curling around my intestines. My eyes caught movement…two men turning down another backstreet.
Lightness Falling (Lightness Saga Book 2) Page 16
