by Lisa Chitty
‘No!’ Sasket replied. ‘We have to keep going. It’s the way we do things here, remember. We cannot risk ourselves to save someone else.’
James was appalled. ‘They’re your rules not mine. I’m going back.’ But before he could take a step a scream echoed through the trees.
James gasped. ‘That was Abi, I know it was.’ He turned to face Sasket. ‘We have to go back and help her. She’s in trouble.’
Sasket grabbed James by the arms to prevent him moving. ‘We cannot! If we go back, we’ll just be placing ourselves in danger. The two of us are no match against one of the Baron’s patrols.’
Before either one of them could say any more a second scream ripped through the forest, this time however it was abruptly cut off before it reached its conclusion.
James had spun round to face the direction the scream had come from breaking Sasket’s hold on him. He was about to run off but the sudden breaking off of the cry stopped him and his face drained of all colour. He turned back to Sasket.
Sasket regarded him for a moment before saying softly, ‘it’s too late. There really is nothing we can do now. Come on, we have to leave here before they find us too.’
James, numb with shock at what the nature of the second scream meant had happened to Abi, allowed Sasket to gently lead him away. He was hardly aware of being guided through the trees and of Sasket picking up the pace. They no longer ran but they needed to move quickly. He was totally unaware of what was around him and it was with some surprise that a short time later Sasket said, ‘we’re back. We’d better find the others and tell them what happened.’
He looked up and saw that they were standing at the cave entrance. He went in behind Sasket and followed him through the tunnels. He realised that Sasket was taking him to Zaria’s private rooms. They reached the door and Sasket knocked gently before entering first.
‘You made it!’ Steve cried immediately upon seeing James. ‘We were worried, you’ve taken some time to get back.’ Steve went towards his friend to greet him and then looked behind James. ‘Where’s Abi? Gone to freshen up has she? Didn’t think the pair of you could be separated!’ He gave James a saucy wink, but became puzzled at the lack of response. ‘James?’
‘Steve, leave it!’ Randall rose from where he had been sitting and came across to where they were standing. He had seen Sasket’s expression as he had come into the room and he could see that James was much paler than usual and looked like he was in shock. Randall felt apprehension building up inside him. Something bad had occurred, he was sure of it. ‘James, what’s happened?’ he asked softly.
James looked at Randall and Steve standing before him waiting for him to explain what had happened, where Abi was. He broke eye contact and let his gaze wander round the room. He took in Sasket standing with his head bowed, Zaria next to him. She looked up when she felt James’s gaze on her and a look of sympathy and understanding crossed her face. James couldn’t bear it and allowed his gaze to travel further round. Eventually, they came back to rest on the faces of his friends, Randall and Steve, waiting silently for his explanation. He gave a sigh. How could he say the words? To say them was to make events real. If he could avoid it, then maybe it hadn’t really happened. He half turned towards the door as if expecting Abi to come in after him, with the smile on her face that was especially for him, and him alone. He shook his head. That wasn’t going to happen, he knew that. He turned back, swallowed against the tears that were building in his throat and uttered the words that would change his life forever.
‘Abi’s dead.’
Chapter 10
Randall and Steve looked at James in horror. ‘What on earth do you mean?’ Randall questioned. ‘She can’t be dead. It’s not possible.’ He shook his head in confusion.
‘You’ve got to be mistaken,’ Steve said. ‘How do you know that she’s … dead?’ Steve struggled to get the word out.
James was so numb with shock that he could only stare back at his friends. He had only just been able to tell them that Abi was dead. He was beyond being able to form the words that would tell them all the exact details of what had happened. Zaria came over to him, took his hand and gently led him to a seat, urging him to sit down. Once he was settled Zaria turned to Sasket. ‘As you were there as well, why don’t you give us the details.’
Sasket came and sat with James. Steve and Randall came over to join them. Sasket quickly and with little emotion in his voice told them what had happened. ‘So you see,’ he concluded. ‘There was nothing we could do. We should be merciful that it was a swift ending for her.’
‘Merciful!’ Randall spat the word out. ‘You left her to be murdered! How could you?’
‘He did the right thing,’ Zaria jumped in before Sasket could defend himself. ‘It’s the rule we apply here, and if Sasket and James had gone back to help Abi, they would now be dead too.’
‘Forgive me,’ Sasket begged. ‘I did what I could to save James. Abi was already lost to us when we realised that she had somehow been left behind.’
‘Hold on a minute though. How do we know that she hasn’t been captured?’ Steve questioned desperate to try and hold on to some glimmer of hope that meant Abi was still alive. If only to be able to give James some reassurance.
Sasket turned to him. ‘I wish with all my heart that I could give you the comfort of thinking that she’s a prisoner, but I can’t. Because we ran, effectively resisting arrest, it immediately meant that the penalty if any of us was caught was death. It’s the way the Baron operates. In a way, Abi was lucky that they instantly killed her. Usually, patrols like to have a bit of fun with women before they kill them.’
A strangled cry came from James. He was sat with his head buried in his hands, and Sasket’s words had clearly upset him. Zaria immediately tried to comfort him, but James was resisting her efforts to try and hold him. The only arms he wanted round him were Abi’s.
‘Brougan, go to Abraya. Tell her what has happened and get her to bring something for James.’ Zaria turned to Randall and Steve. ‘There’s not a lot that can be done, but Abraya can probably give him something to relax him.
Steve nodded in response. He was devastated by the loss of Abi and he could only imagine what private hell James must be going through right now. He had only liked Abi as a friend, but James had been much closer to her, albeit briefly. He wished there was something he could do, but there wasn’t and he felt utterly helpless. He looked across at Randall who was sitting opposite him and could see that he felt the same.
They waited in silence for Abraya. No one knew what to say to one another. They were all lost in their own pain, James worst of all. Thankfully Abraya came quickly, bearing a bag. She took one look at James, grabbed a glass from the table and swiftly placed some herbs from her bag in it. She added water from the jug on the table and mixed them together. She then went to James and tried to get him to drink it. It was a struggle, but eventually he accepted the glass and knocked back its contents in one. Almost instantly he appeared to relax and Abraya got him to his feet and led him over to a sofa where she bade him to lie down. James did as she asked, and very quickly his whole body seemed to relax and go limp.
‘It’s alright,’ Abraya said as Steve and Randall started forward as if to check James was alright. ‘He’s only asleep. I gave him a very powerful relaxant and he’ll now sleep for several hours. However, I can do nothing to ease his grief. You must help him find a way when he wakes.’ She then picked up her bag and left the room.
During all this Randall had been reviewing events in his mind. Not just the recent upsetting ones, but back from when they had first arrived in Trelyssia. Putting all the pieces of the puzzle together he now had a question for Zaria. ‘You knew didn’t you? That Abi was going to die. That’s why you’re so sure that she’s not alive isn’t it?’
Zaria sighed softly before replying. ‘The simple answer to your question Randall is yes. I did know, as did Sasket. We just didn’t know when or where. It wasn’t unti
l Sasket and James came in here that I knew that it had happened.’
‘Could it have been prevented?’ Randall asked.
Zaria shook her head. ‘The legends that exist about you tell that the Strategist and the Fiery Woman will fall deeply in love with one another. They go on to say that they will only share this love for a short time, because the Fiery Woman will be killed and the Strategist will be consumed by grief over the loss of her. When I realised yesterday that they had discovered their love for one another, I knew that Abi’s remaining time with us would be short. That somehow she would die.’ Tears filled Zaria’s eyes as she finished.
‘Just because that’s what’s been said, it didn’t necessarily mean that those events had to happen.’ Steve got up and began to pace the floor in his agitation. ‘You should have told us. If we had known from the very beginning we could have protected her. James could still have fallen for her, but we could have prevented her death!’
‘How would you have stopped it?’ Zaria asked. ‘Would you have prevented her going out with you?’
‘Yes!’ Steve turned to Randall. ‘We could have left her here with Zaria whilst we did all the dangerous stuff. Couldn’t we?’
Randall shook his head slowly. ‘Do you really think that we could have left her out of everything that we’ve done so far. Don’t you remember how angry she was when we had to leave her behind to go and see the armourer?’
Steve smiled gently at the memory, but it quickly faded as his gaze turned to rest on James. ‘What are we going to do about James. How can we help him?’
‘I guess all we can do is be there for him.’ Randall looked at James where he lay sleeping and his thoughts turned to Abi . He had had several arguments with her and there had been times when he had wished that she wasn’t with them. But despite all that, he had liked her. She hadn’t deserved to die here, in this strange land. He allowed the tears that had been threatening since James had announced the news to flow down his cheeks. He would have to deal with his own grief now as when James woke he would need to be strong for him.
Steve saw that Randall was upset and he went over to him to try and offer some comfort. However, there was none. A young woman that had been through a lot with them was dead, and Steve too began to feel his grief rise within him and before he knew it, tears were flowing down his cheeks as well.
Zaria slipped quietly from the room gesturing for Sasket to come with her. This was a private grief between the three of them which she knew that she could not intrude on. They had to see their way through it together. As she turned to close the door behind her, she saw that Randall and Steve had turned to one another to try and assuage the pain that they felt. She knew that when James woke they would do the same for him too, but it would be a lot harder for James.
Randall and Steve didn’t want to leave James alone so whilst he slept they stayed with him. As it began to grow dark, they decided that one of them should stay awake whilst the other slept. This way, when James did wake up, there would be someone there to comfort him.
The hours dragged by. Steve was pacing round the room, trying to keep himself awake, when he heard James stirring. Instantly, Steve went over to him so that he was there as James woke. James opened his eyes sleepily and smiled when he saw Steve. He then slowly sat up, Steve watching him anxiously.
James yawned, stretched and rubbed his eyes, before focusing once more on Steve. ‘I’ve just had the most awful nightmare! I dreamt that Abi had been killed. How ridiculous is that?’ James looked about him. ‘Hold on. Where are we, and more to the point, where’s Abi?’
Steve’s eyes had filled with tears as James had spoken. To tell him it wasn’t a nightmare was going to be like James learning all over again that Abi was dead. Steve took a breath, placed a hand on James’s shoulder and very softly told James the truth. ‘Mate, it wasn’t a dream. Abi really is dead.’
James looked at Steve for a while searching his face for a different answer to the one Steve had given him, but he knew no other answer would be forthcoming. Everything came back to him, running through the trees, losing Abi, and her last cry. It had happened. He had been there and seen it. He dropped his head into his hands as grief once more overwhelmed him. He felt like a piece of himself was missing. He could feel Steve trying to comfort him, but right now that wasn’t what he wanted. He stood abruptly, shaking Steve from him and strode towards the door.
‘James, where are you going?’ Steve asked.
‘I’m going back to our rooms. The ones we shared together.’ With that James swept out of the door.
Steve swore and went to where Randall lay sleeping. ‘Wake up!’ he called, roughly shaking Randall. ‘We’ve got to go after James.’ Seeing Randall wake up he then also turned and ran out of the door.
Randall groggily got up and, slowly processing what Steve had said to him, he too left Zaria’s rooms and followed the others back to the suite of rooms they had been allocated.
Steve caught James swiftly and walked beside him through the deserted corridors. They quickly reached the door to the guest suite they‘d been staying in. Here, James hesitated. He wanted to go in, to where he had spent time with Abi, but he was also afraid.
‘James, you don’t have to go in there. We can go back to Zaria’s rooms and stay there for the night.’ Steve tried to lead James away.
‘No!’ James cried out. ‘I want to be as close to her as I can be, and that means in here.’ He put his hand to the door, and swung it open, taking a few strides into the room. Steve followed, as did Randall who had caught them up. James looked slowly round and his eye fell on the sofa. It had only been the previous night that he had sat there with Abi curled up in his arms, but now it almost seemed like it had been in another lifetime. Steve and Randall watched silently and helplessly as James slowly walked over and sat down. He picked up one of the cushions and held it to his face, remembering how Abi had piled them all up round the pair of them so they would be as comfortable as possible. Shakily he got up and went towards one of the bedrooms, the one he had shared with Abi.
‘James …’ Steve began before Randall stopped him. Steve looked at him questioningly. Randall just shook his head. James’s grief was so raw right now that he knew there was nothing either of them could do for him. They stood and watched as James entered the bedroom and softly closed the door behind him.
Once inside, James leant back against the door. His eyes were drawn to the bed in the centre of the room. The bedclothes were still rumpled from where they had slept together. He closed his eyes and relived the previous night, their last night together. He had been looking forward to spending the night with Abi, but she had been so tired. He remembered tucking her in, she had looked so innocent and childlike as she had slept. He had wrapped his arms round her, holding her tight, and then he too had fallen asleep.
A sad smile came to his lips as his thoughts moved onto the morning. Had it only been this morning? Less then twenty four hours ago. He had woken first and lain for some time watching her sleep, loathe to wake her, but also wanting to disturb her, and watch her wake up and realise that he was with her, that they were together. But in the end he had let her rest and now he regretted the lost opportunity, to have spent more time with her. To come to know her as intimately as it was possible to. Now he never would.
Eventually, he moved away from the door and took hesitant steps towards the bed. He walked over to the side that Abi had slept in and sat down gently. For a while he just sat there, imagining how Abi had looked in that bed. Then he slowly pulled back the covers and slipped in between them. They were cold, and how he longed for the comfort of Abi’s warmth. He slowly lay back and rested his head on the pillow, and it was here, that at last he found something tangible of her. He could still smell the scent of her here. He lifted his head and pulled the pillow closer to him. He wrapped his arms round it and buried his face in it, desperate to get one last contact with Abi. He turned onto his side, hugging the pillow tightly and curled up defensive
ly round it. He lay there for some time imagining everything that could have been between them, all the opportunities he had lost. His grief was building up, but he couldn’t allow himself to give into it. Clamping down tightly on his tears he eventually drifted off and dreamt of Abi and of better times.
* * *
Randall and Steve found him still asleep and curled round the pillow late in the morning. They gently woke him and between them they got him up, and ready for the day ahead. By now, James had buried his feelings deep down, but he was unable to function fully. He felt like a vital organ was missing, or a limb. He went round in a complete daze, just letting everything happen, and taking no interest in his surroundings. He went wherever Randall and Steve led him. He sat where they did, walked where they did and just generally allowed them to guide him around.
This continued for several days and eventually concern for James’s well being led to a discussion between Randall and Zaria. Steve had taken James off for a wash and a shave.
‘I can’t stand to watch him like this,’ Randall began.
‘It’s hard,’ Zaria agreed. ‘But don’t you feel that you have to let him deal with this in his own way?’
Randall shook his head. ‘Ordinarily I’d probably agree, but circumstances are different here.’
‘How?’
‘This is a different world, with a different set of rules and way of life. It’s also dangerous here, and with him how he is, anything could happen to him. We can’t afford to lose him as well!’
‘Are you sure that’s the real reason for your concern about him?’ Zaria questioned.
Randall opened his mouth to say that of course it was when he caught Zaria’s eye. As he looked at her, he realised that he couldn’t lie to her. He shook his head. ‘No, that’s not it. It’s just …’ Randall hesitated. ‘For so long now, it’s always been the three of us, me, Steve and James. We’ve known one another for so long that we all know our roles in the group…’ Randall stopped, unable to go on.
