Unorthodox?
Maybe.
Rummaging through the fridge, he hauled out a package of bacon and hoped Ryan had eggs. Then he left again.
***
Ryan was sitting on her porch steps, cradling her coffee mug and staring sightlessly at the cement walk in front of her.
She'd written a whopping fifteen thousand words last night. That was a lot, even for her, the overachiever.
Part of her brain felt completely fried. Similar to how her body felt after Tawny had spent two hours yelling at her during a training session.
The other part of her brain was in stasis. Like it was afraid to finish or even have any thoughts. Afraid where they might lead. Afraid to be wrong.
It bothered her that Sway had stayed overnight. It wasn't exactly a slumber party, but he was in her space. Just in it. Existing. Like he belonged there.
She barely belonged there, how did he make it seem so natural? See? It was bothering. Bothersome. A big hot load of bother.
“Do you have eggs?”
Ryan took in a deep breath and tried to raise her eyebrows to look more awake as Sway sat down next to her.
“I think I have eggs,” she said. “Why do I need to have eggs?”
“So I can make the talented writer breakfast, obviously.”
She sniffed before taking a sip of coffee. “Talented. You've never read my writing, talent is subjective.”
Sway was quiet. He looked down at his feet and made a small humming sound. “I've read your books.”
Her eyes darted up to his stormy blue ones. He was watching her carefully.
“You have not,” she denied. What else was she supposed to say?
He nodded once. “I have. All of them.”
She looked out to the street and considered his words. Well, it made no sense. Strictly speaking it was nonsense. The definition of.
Liam read her books, or said he read her books, and it always kind of creeped her out. But perhaps that was just the nature of Liam... to be kind of creepy.
Because thinking that Sway had read her books made her nervous.
But it didn't creep her out.
“Well then,” she said, tapping a finger on the side of her mug. “How about we never speak of that again.”
The burst of laughter beside her was startling and she turned toward it. Sway laughing early in the morning... now that was a sight to behold.
He was still chuckling as he stood up and tweaked the messy bun on the top of her head. “You finish your coffee and then come in and eat breakfast.”
She let his words slide through her. No one had made her breakfast since Isabella on the morning she'd left home. It was a nice feeling.
“I am way too tired for this.” Ryan finished her coffee and went to stand up, determined to not think about Sway making her breakfast in her kitchen and how much that did not bother her. Twenty-four had passed since she'd had eye contact with him for the first time and yet it felt like he fit in her day. In her home. In her life.
The lack of sleep was making her think crazy thoughts. She knew it, but she was finding it hard to care.
Maybe that was because there was a rock star in her kitchen making her breakfast. The most beautiful man she had ever seen.
That's when Liam's stupid red truck turned down her street and right into her driveway and ruined her fuzzy little daydream.
What in the actual hell? Was he full-on stalking her now?
“Clive, house,” she snapped. Clive looked at her, slightly bewildered by her tone, but did as he was told. She opened the screen door and let her big dog inside as Liam climbed out of his truck.
Ryan couldn't think of one reason that Liam would need to stop by. None at all. Especially this early in the morning. Didn't he have a job to get to?
“Liam,” she greeted him, knowing her tone was not welcoming and hoping that for the first time in his life, Liam would pick up on it.
“Hey,” he said with a frown. “I couldn't sleep last night thinking about your tax stuff.”
Ryan's head jerked reflexively as her mind raced. “My taxes? Oh, right, because of the...” She rolled her eyes and blinked heavily. “Accountant... thinger.”
“Are you really going to jail?” Liam asked. By this point he was climbing her porch steps and advancing on her.
Her back was going to hit the house any second, as she stepped away from him. But it didn't. It hit a solid, warm, chest wall. An arm came around the front of her and pulled her solidly against that warm wall. Part of her wanted to panic, but the majority of her melted against Sway. Blame it on the fatigue or her inability to deal with Liam another second, or blame it on the fact that Sway smelled like bacon. Whatever the reason, she felt safe.
And she hadn't felt safe in a very long time.
Liam's frown deepened as his eyes cut to Sway's.
“Can we help you with something?” Sway asked casually, his other hand coming to rest lightly on Ryan's hip.
“You're not an accountant,” Liam stated. It was all Ryan could do not to roll her eyes.
“Nope,” Sway confirmed.
“He stayed here? Last night?” Liam's ire turned to Ryan, who was all at once thankful for Sway at her back.
“That's none of your business, Liam,” she said darkly.
Liam's eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened before he finally nodded once and stomped down the porch steps.
Neither Ryan or Sway moved until Liam's truck was good and gone. Then Ryan cleared her throat lightly.
Sway's lips brushed the shell of her ear right before he said, “Breakfast is ready, babe.”
Two things happened at the same time. The first was Ryan's internal organs melted into useless goo. The second was her paranoid protective inner bitch, who she really hadn't been speaking to for a couple of years, decided to make a huge comeback.
This was too much. They'd known each other for twenty-four hours. He should not be touching her in such a familiar way. It was wrong. Liam coming over all of the time, Sway thinking he could do whatever he wanted.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Nope.
She stepped from his embrace and faced him squarely.
“Thank you for making me breakfast,” she said flatly, keeping her expression and tone in matched indifference. “But please leave now.”
Sway's eyes dimmed and lost focus. He nodded in agreement, whether he understood or not, she had no idea. He had told her she could ask him to leave at any time and he wouldn't get offended. Well, it was time. She was tired and she was overwhelmed. It needed to slow down long enough for her head to catch up.
“Okay.”
He licked those perfect lips of his and then stepped around her, careful not to touch. Ryan closed her eyes. She needed sleep. She'd think more clearly if she could just get some sleep.
“For what it's worth,” Sway said softly from the bottom of the steps. She turned around to face him. His eyes were sad. She had done that. That was all her. “I had a wonderful time getting to know you.”
She stopped herself from protesting. She wanted to let him know that he didn't actually know her at all. He never would. No one did. That was just the truth of it. Especially not after a day. No one knew anything about anyone in a day.
Even as that thought ended, another began, reminding her of the way his laugh sounded when she caught him off-guard. Or how he read Call of the Wild silently beside her while she wrote. His eyes when she chanced flirting with him. The completely open way he observed her, like he was unafraid if she knew.
Who lived like that?
Fearlessly vulnerable?
Not her.
She couldn't.
But it had only been a day. They could go back to regular life and this would just be a dream sequence in a book she'd write in the future.
Because it definitely wasn't reality.
“Some chapters have a smaller word count than others,” she said with a shrug.
He smiled. It was small and
distant and she felt bad. She was being mean. But she'd let her experiment go too far and now it needed to be over before they both... well, died. Like hydrogen peroxide and sulfuric acid. Or other shit that might spontaneously detonate when mixed together.
“I have no regrets, babe,” he said solidly. Definitively.
And stupid, stupid Ryan believed him. Or at least, she believed that he believed what he was saying. Chances were pretty high that he was going to regret it later. When he re-read this exact conversation in one of her books.
Assuming of course, that he would still be reading her books after today.
“I'll see you around, Sway,” she said, finally breaking their somber eye contact and going back inside.
She ate the bacon and eggs in silence. Then she crawled into her pile of blankets in her empty bedroom and fell asleep.
Completely ignoring the million thoughts that were battering her brain. Instead, she blocked everything out and willed for the sleep to take over.
Chapter 6
Buddy Holly
“There are rules that society adheres to—”
“Can I just point out one more time how I'm aware of the rules. How else would I know what I want to do?” Sway cut off his mom. He was getting pretty mouthy. But the disappointed lecture had been going on for thirty minutes and he was fairly certain he understood the concept of the “rules.”
Grace Schaeffer's lips pulled into a thin line and her eyes darted over to Sway's father Ethan. The man who Sway resembled physically right down to his shoe size. Ethan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Ryan, you can't just do whatever you want. If everyone did that, the world would be in chaos.” Grace tried again.
“What's it this time, mother? Afraid I'll accidentally be good at it?”
Grace's eyes dimmed and drifted to her lap. “It's a dirty profession,” she hissed under her breath. “With uncouth company and morals.”
“They're not dirty,” Sway protested, his heart pounding mercilessly in his chest. “They're my friends.”
Ethan cleared his throat, garnering Sway's attention. “Your mother misspoke. It's not a profession at all. It's a child's temper tantrum gone too far. You're sixteen and have made it clear over and over again that you won't respect our wishes, no matter how reasonably we present them. But it's not a profession. You will finish school. And if you decide to...” Ethan rolled his eyes as his lip curled with derision. “Pursue this lifestyle, we won't accept it. And we won't acknowledge it.”
That was that.
Ethan Schaeffer had spoken and the decision had been made. Sway tried to ignore the burn in his chest. What had he expected? That they'd suddenly see the light and congratulate him on finally figuring out what it was he wanted to do with his life?
He'd be lying if he said he hadn't hoped for that exact reaction.
His father was right, he was child.
With childish dreams and expectations. The kind that still believed his parents gave a damn about who he was.
They just... didn't.
If it didn't fit into their pre-measured box that they'd prepared for him before he was born, then it might as well not exist.
Who was he kidding?
They didn't care about anything that interested him. They only cared about the image it would project.
Sway crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his chin. “I guess I'll go hang out with my unsavory friends,” he said, his voice thicker than he would have liked. He shoved back from the table and stood, waiting. Hoping for them to maybe say something else. Something new.
“Please leave now,” Ethan said sternly.
Sway hated it. He hated, deeply, that he looked exactly like his father on the outside and yet shared nothing on the inside. The man was a shell. No heart, no soul, no passion.
Sway would never be that man.
***
Ryan rolled over and stared at her ceiling. An exaggerated dog yawn reminded her one more time that she was going to have to get out of bed.
And go outside.
The clock beside her glared with red numbers that it was after five in the evening. She'd slept too long and now she was on her way to reverse cycling. That wasn't good.
Why couldn't she ever just do life right? Why couldn't she be a normal person with normal thoughts and make good choices that didn't make her feel like she was an alien in her own skin?
Clive nudged her bare arm with his cold nose, making her feel foolish for that last melodramatic thought.
“I know, puppy,” she said, her voice rough from first use. He pranced towards the door and gave a low whine.
Ryan heaved out a sigh as she swung her legs out of bed and bent down to gather her yoga pants. She tugged them on and then blearily followed her dog to the front door.
***
Sway just happened to be on his front porch when Ryan let Clive outside. He watched her sink to the top step, cross her arms on her bent knees and rest her chin on them. Her hair hung down her back and arms in thick gold waves instead of her customary knot.
She'd slept all day.
Sway had taken a short nap, but didn't overdo it. He'd gotten his inner clock screwed up plenty of times in the past to know how to avoid it.
So mostly he'd spent the day mulling. Contemplating how to salvage this thing with Ryan—whatever it turned out to be.
He shouldn't have gotten so grabby with her that morning, he knew that. He knew it in the moment too, but he had been more focused on sending a clear message to Liam.
It may have been a bit of overkill. He'd basically pissed a circle around her. No wonder she wasn't impressed. He knew she wasn't the type of person to be impressed by grandiose shows of masculinity and macho-ism.
She was far too sensible for such things.
Now Sway had to decide how to proceed. He knew that Ryan would probably retreat into herself and just pretend like he didn't exist. That would make the next four months even longer. And it would no doubt spill into her relationship with Tawny.
Yeah, Sway had to do some repair work.
Fortunately, he'd been blessed in the recent years to acquire some helpful knowledge about independent and cagey women. Thanks to women that his bandmates had decided to fall stupid in love with. Sway had basically ended up with four new sisters who seemed to take a special interest in turning him into a respectful individual.
They'd had more patience and a better case than his mother had.
Sway chewed on his bottom lip for a minute before solidifying his decision and crossing the sea of manicured lawn and landscaping. It appeared so much bigger and far more vast than it had when he's chased her back to her house last night.
Clive greeted him with a wag and a head butt to the leg. Sway pet the big dog softly as he made eye contact with Ryan. She didn't lift her head, but stared at him like she wasn't sure if he was actually there.
“May I sit?” he asked.
She cleared her throat, sitting up straighter. “Yeah.”
Sway took a seat, being careful to leave space between them. He didn't waste a lot of time, knowing she was probably getting ready to start apologizing or something similarly stupid.
“I'm sorry I pushed into your boundaries. I have a habit of making myself entirely too familiar with people I like.” He looked at her directly. “It won't happen again.”
Her thoughtful frown, the one she used when she was trying to figure something out, played with her expressive eyebrows. Her eyes dipped down as her lips pulled up on one side sheepishly.
“Well, I may have overreacted just a little.”
Sway covered his smile with one hand as he nodded. Her eyes flicked back up to him.
“I'm not—” she frowned harder, but not at him, it seemed to be directed inward. “I'm not very good at... peopling.”
“You're better than you think you are,” he said softly, not surprised at all by her words. She looked up at him and he saw that thing again he had noticed
the first time they met, the weariness of selective seclusion.
He decided to try a new approach. Direct, honest, gentle.
“I want to be your friend,” he said sincerely. “I know that's not how friendships are made, but I have a feeling you're more likely to appreciate knowing my expectations going in.”
Her chin lifted, curiosity coloring her expression. He plunged ahead.
“I think you're gorgeous, and charming, and brilliant. I want to spend an unusual amount of time with you. I want to be the person you feel comfortable borrowing sugar from, not apprehensive. I want you to feel safe with me, not confused.”
“But that in itself is confusing,” she pointed out.
Sway shrugged. “It's the truth.”
Ryan considered this for a few minutes, turning to look out across her yard, her thoughts in a place Sway couldn't follow yet. But he could guess.
“I just went fast yesterday, that's all that happened.” He chuckled lightly, attempting to coax her out of her serious thoughts. “Haven't you ever just met someone and everything seemed to move at light speed?”
“Yes,” she replied instantly. “It didn't end well.”
Sway had no idea if she meant to say that out loud, or if she even realized she had. She looked at him suddenly and flashed a grin.
“But, yes, I know what you're talking about,” she said. “So, good. We're friends then and we can just go ahead and act like it.”
It was an odd sensation, her rapid shift from contemplative to comfortable. But it was genuine. And Sway liked it. No emotional debate, nothing to prolong his guilt at having screwed everything up. She'd accepted his apology and moved forward.
It was weird because it was so... reasonable? Was that the word he was looking for?
“Do you have a plan for fixing your internal clock?” Sway asked, keeping the momentum going forward.
Her lips twitched and she rolled her eyes. “I was thinking I might go to the gym and just work out relentlessly. Then perhaps I'll have a decent shot at getting some sleep tonight.”
“No writing?” he asked.
“Nah, I'm way ahead from last night's epic marathon.” She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed on it.
Brand New Sky Page 7
