by Alexa Davis
Could it be Eliza?
He liked her. He didn’t know much about her, either, but then animals never had to. They just made a snap decision, and as I’d found over time, they were a surprisingly good judge of character. The first time Veil met Veronica, he’d growled at her – that said it all.
“Sorry, buddy,” I told him, feeling like a total idiot. “We’ll see her later.”
For a brief second, he gave me a look like he understood what I was saying, but I quickly got rid of that thought from my brain. There was no way that he understood me: he was a dog. I wasn’t about to become one of those idiots. I shouldn’t have even been talking to him. What the hell was I doing?
“Anyway, it’s time to get the hell out of here.”
***
I had to admit that Florence was much more bustling and exciting than I’d first assumed; there seemed to be a whole lot going on. There were people everywhere, locals and visitors alike, and everyone seemed to have a genuine smile on their face.
This was nothing like Vegas, or anywhere in Nevada, to be honest – this felt much more real. This wasn’t a city of forced fun, it was just people enjoying themselves, and it made my heart pang for something so simple. I would have loved to settle down in the place like Florence; it felt much more like the brand-new me.
Maybe I would check out the fishing company later on in the week, with an open mind. Justin had emailed me all the details, but I hadn’t yet had the chance to look through it all. Now, though, I was starting to see that maybe I’d been wrong in my first impression. I’d dismissed it on instinct, but I’d been out of the game for ages. My instincts weren’t what they used to be.
I tied Veil up outside a sweet-looking coffee shop and went inside to get my caffeine fix. Inside, I was stunned to see that the place sold books, too. My casinos didn’t have anything particularly unique about them; they were just another link in the Vegas chain, spinning constantly and reeling in money. I loved them, of course, as they had provided me with my living, but I didn’t feel the same strength of love that I once had.
Not for any of it.
“Thanks, Roy,” the lady behind the counter called out to the guy who stood in the line in front of me. “We’ll see you later, okay?” Then she turned to me, giving me a welcoming smile. “Hey, what can I get you?”
“Coffee, please. Black.”
I examined the woman, eyeing up her name tag, which read Annie, as she poured me my drink, critically trying to work out her age. Is she the same age as Eliza? Can I ask about her? Florence seemed like the sort of place where everyone knew each other. It would be so easy to find out more about her...
Then again, if I did ask, Eliza would soon find out and that would be incredibly embarrassing, which I didn’t need. This situation was sticky enough without me going out of my way to make it any worse. How would I react to her asking what the hell I was thinking sneaking around behind her back to find stuff out? I would shrivel up and cringe; there wouldn’t be any defense. I didn’t think I would like it if she did it to me, so it only seemed fair to respect her privacy in return.
In the end, I simply took my drink and slinked back outside none the wiser. It was for the best. If I started to learn about Eliza, I could end up falling hard for her, and that wouldn’t be helpful for anyone. She would probably be gone tonight anyway, with her pipes fixed, and I would be left alone to get the peace and quiet I had wanted when I came here.
Only... that didn’t feel quite as appealing now. I felt like I would miss her chatter if she was no longer there. I would have to accept it, though. I couldn’t ask her to stay without sounding like a total weirdo. How would I even word that? “Oh, can you stay because I’m a crazy person who likes to listen to you talk?” No way; that would be far too humiliating.
***
By the time I arrived back at the cabin, I was increasingly convinced that Justin was onto something. I got the strong sense that Florence was an untapped market that could end up making someone a fortune... and I wanted that someone to be me. I felt on fire, anticipation was racing through my veins, and I was very excited to get started...
But I was instantly derailed by the sight of Eliza struggling inside with far too many bags for her to hold by herself. I leaped out of my vehicle and grabbed a couple from her, my mind racing. This wasn’t the sort of shopping that someone did for just one night. This seemed long term, which made me happier than it should.
“Is everything all right?” I asked her in what I hoped was a casual tone.
“Erm... Actually, there is something I have to tell you.” She bit down on her beautiful lip and looked up at me through her eyelashes. My mind instantly whirred, trying to work out what she was going to say, each possibility worse than the last. “The emergency plumber came to my apartment today, and he told the landlord that the place is going to be out of action for at least two weeks.”
Two whole weeks! That was going to be a heavenly torture for me. I was glad because I didn’t want her to go, but it was going to be hard. There wasn’t any doubt about that.
“I’m so sorry,” she continued. “I feel terrible about it. I can try and find somewhere else for a while, but for at least tonight...”
“No, please stay as long as you need to.” I grinned at her, my brain unwittingly thinking about all the positive things that could happen in that time... as long as it didn’t spin past too quickly. “It will be my pleasure.”
“I have brought some supplies to get us through. I hope that helps, and I will cook again to make up for it.”
“How could I turn down another one of your amazing meals?” I teased. “That sounds great, thank you.” I started to put some of the groceries away with her. “So, how was work today?”
I noticed her features instantly darken at that, which meant I had stumbled across a tricky subject. “Business is okay,” she finally said diplomatically. “I would love for it to be busier, but I’m sure that things will pick up.”
I couldn’t think of any reason that her salon wouldn’t constantly be bombarded with people, but it wasn’t exactly my area of expertise. There could have been hundreds of reasons. Maybe there was just too much competition. Some was fine, but too much could take down a business in a heartbeat, especially in a small place like Florence.
“I’m sure it will get better,” I told her lamely, wishing I had something better to say. I actually wanted to offer her some money, because I felt like she deserved it, but I got the sense that would upset her. She might assume that I saw her as a charity case or that I thought of myself as a big shot who could dole out cash to people I considered lower than me. Neither of which would have been true, but I couldn’t stand to see that look in her eyes.
Maybe I would be able to find another way to help her...
Is that why she suddenly started renting out this cabin? She could have sold it and made a decent sum, but she clearly had an emotional attachment to the place, and sometimes that trumped everything. I opened my mouth, about to suggest it anyway, before clamping it closed again. If this was another sensitive subject, then I didn’t want to cause any problems. I knew firsthand how painful things could be.
“I had a look around Florence today,” I told her to change the subject, figuring that was the safest course of action. “It’s nice! Even nicer than I was expecting.”
“Oh, I love it here,” she gushed, her expression totally brightening. “I grew up here with my grandma, and I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up anywhere else. It’s the perfect place for kids – lots to do, but safe, too. You know, if you want, I could always show you around properly. I’m not at the salon on Wednesday, Laynee has her intern in, so we could do it then if you want?”
“Sounds great,” I exclaimed happily, glad now that I had changed the subject. It had led to a promise of more one-on-one time with her, which could only be a good thing. “Thank you.”
As she pulled out a bottle of wine, I knew that we were truly teetering into dangerous t
erritory now, but I didn’t care. If the last couple of years had taught me anything, it was that life was too short.
I had no intention of pursuing things with Eliza, however I felt about her, but if she wanted it to happen, then who was I to argue?
No matter how awkward it could make things afterward...
“Would you like a glass?” she asked me innocently enough.
“I would, thank you.” I nodded slowly. We would just have to see.
Chapter Ten
Eliza – Wednesday
Tuesday was a total nightmare. I had to leave work early to go and speak to the plumber, who wanted to explain the very involved water works issues with me, so I hadn’t gotten to see much of Milo at all. I got back to the cabin so late that he was already in bed.
Despite myself, that felt like a big hole was in my life. I knew that I would have to get used to it soon enough because he definitely wouldn’t be sticking around forever, but for now, while I could, I wanted to enjoy my time with him.
I took longer getting dressed this time, wanting to make a good impression. I carefully picked a well-fitting navy-blue swing dress, which I always got compliments on, wooly tights to keep my legs warm, and a jacket. I took my time over my hair and makeup, as well. As a hairdresser, it was my duty to always look groomed, not that I always managed it, but today I felt like I needed to show myself off.
Everything felt a little weird to me after Monday night. We ate dinner, there was a little bit more blatant flirting this time, which was probably due to the wine, but still, nothing happened. It was as if we were both too scared to make the first move, so we just... didn’t. At this rate, nothing was going to happen.
Which was fine, because it wasn’t a good idea, anyway. Just because I wanted something to happen between us, didn’t mean that he did.
Except he seems to...
Well, we could be adult about it, anyway. We didn’t have to act on any urges because it was painfully obvious that it could only end in heartbreak. Thinking about it seriously, I wasn’t sure that I could ever be the one-night stand or short fling type; that just wasn’t me. I preferred things to happen with an emotional connection... which Milo and I could never have because he was going home before too long.
No, today we would just have a nice, civilized day out as friends and that would be the end of it. I didn’t need to give any feelings a second thought.
I swung my bedroom door open to see Milo already sitting out on the balcony with a pot of coffee at his side and Veil at his feet. I took a second to admire the scene, thinking how close it was to the perfect family life that I’d always craved.
Growing up without a mom and dad had left me needy for a stable situation for when I had children of my own... when I eventually got around to having kids. Sure, my parents didn’t mean to leave me, but their absence left me with emotional scars nonetheless.
When I’d made my love-related New Year’s resolution, deep down, this was the sort of image that I had fixed in the back of my mind, in the bottom bit where I kept all the hopes and wishes that I didn’t want to confess to anyone ever.
If only...
“You figured out the coffee pot then,” I said wryly, making my way to join him. “It’s a joy, isn’t it?”
He sent me a smile that made my heart stop dead in my chest. His face was so much lighter when he looked happy, but I felt glad that it didn’t happen all the time. It made me feel special that it was happening more regularly for me.
“It isn’t actually too bad, once you get used to it. I brought you out a mug; there is plenty left for you.”
I poured myself a drink and took the seat next to him. “So, how was your day yesterday?”
“Good, thanks, how about you?”
“Ugh.” I rolled my eyes and allowed the rant to spill past my lips. “Well, after work, I went to speak with the plumber at my apartment. That’s why I wasn’t back until late, and he told me that the issues are in the walls. The pipes are super old and faulty, so it’s going to be a huge job. Damn nightmare.”
“They are all the same, these workmen,” he replied, as if he understood. I couldn’t imagine him being walked all over by some asshole landlord or plumber. He might have been quiet and stoic most of the time, but I didn’t think he was the sort of man you crossed. “Pain in the backside.”
“Tell me about it.” All of a sudden, I felt a bit awkward. “I’m just glad that you’re kind enough to let me stay here.”
“I imagine this is where you would be if I wasn’t here, right?” he asked curiously, to which I nodded. “So, why not?”
“This place holds happy memories,” I told him evasively, wanting him to understand me just a little bit. “But, unfortunately, it needs a lot of work. It’s fine for renting out, but I don’t think that I could live here all the time.”
I thought that he might ask me then why I didn’t sell it to get myself somewhere less crappy to live or to help me with the salon, but he didn’t. It was almost as if he could sense me bracing, as if he could feel the fact that I didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t seem like he would necessarily be the perceptive type, but there had to be some explanation.
“Anyway, are you ready to go?”
***
“Wow.” Luckily Milo seemed impressed with all the non-touristy bits of Florence that I was showing him. “I didn’t see this side of the town before; this is nice.”
“Yeah, I like the art gallery and the coffee place there. Plus, that seafood restaurant is my favorite.” A wave of sadness washed over me as I thought of the place I’d eaten at a lot as a kid. It hurt to remember my grandma; it felt like my life hadn’t been the same since she had gone. Even thinking about her still made my heart ache, and I felt like it always would.
“Shall we go inside? I’m starving!” Milo exclaimed, moving through the doors without giving me a choice. My heart raced rapidly, and a big part of me wanted to protest, but I forced my feet forward. Grandma would have wanted me to move on, to keep on living. I had to at least try. I hadn’t done so yet; I’d just been trying to get through every day in the best way that I could. Now, though, it seemed that I was going to have to.
As I walked through the room, I felt my whole body trembling. It was as if I was suffering from an out-of-body experience, that I wasn’t even there... not really.
I glanced from side to side, but all I could see was us sitting there, eating, laughing, having fun. She wasn’t just my grandma and the person who raised me – she had been my best friend, too, the person I spoke to about everything first. The fact that she was no longer here felt like a thump in the stomach all over again.
Breathe in... one, two, three, four... breathe out...
“Are you okay?” Milo asked me curiously, giving me a weird look. “You look strange.”
“I’m fine,” I gasped, but I wasn’t about to pull that one off easily. “Okay, this is just... It’s the first time that I’ve been in here since my grandma died.”
I expected him then to ask me what had happened, but he didn’t. He just nodded slowly. “Do you want to leave? Is this too much for you?”
Yes! Everything inside of me screamed. “No,” I told him aloud. “It’ll be fine, and anyway, they do some amazing crab cakes here.”
Focus on the crab cakes; they are good. Don’t think about anything else.
He took over then, ordering the food for us to give me some much-needed time to get myself together. I appreciated him for that, but I couldn’t help noticing that the odd look on his face wasn’t going anywhere. I couldn’t quite fathom what the look meant. It seemed like so much more than just sympathy, but I wanted to decipher it. I wanted to know what was going on in that mind of his. I wished that I knew him well enough to just ask him, but I couldn’t.
It was all a little too weird – we were in a limbo where we knew each other some, but not quite enough. I wasn’t sure when that was going to change.
***
See, that wasn
’t so bad, was it? I kept trying to convince myself as we drove back home. It was okay, really, and I didn’t freak out too much.
But the looks that Milo kept shooting my way suggested otherwise. Oh, well, it was over and done with now. I wouldn’t need to go back in there for a very long time. I’d faced my fears, gone in somewhere that reminded me of my grandma, and I’d survived it. I had to be proud of myself for that at least.
I was so wrapped up in my own worries that it took me a while to notice how quiet Milo was being, too. He wasn’t the biggest talker in the world, so it was an easy mistake to make, but this was different – this felt meaningful.
“Are... you okay?” I tried. “Did you enjoy our time out today?” Maybe it was me; maybe I’d bored him or freaked him out. Maybe my incident in the seafood place was too much for him to handle.
“Oh, it was great.” As he became more animated, I felt satisfied that maybe it wasn’t me, after all. Maybe I was finding issues that weren’t there. “I loved it. I’m going to have to go back to that photography shop before I go home. There are some prints there that I would love to have up on my walls.”
His home... The thought filled me with dread. He probably lived in an amazing mansion in Vegas somewhere, fancier than anywhere I’d ever seen before in my whole life. Soon enough, he would be back there, and I would still be here. Living exactly the same life.
Except I had the strong feeling that nothing would be the same for me anymore...
I gulped down the thick ball of emotion that had lodged itself in my throat and forced myself to speak, to say anything just to stop the ridiculous tears that threatened to come.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I even considering crying? This is insane! I’d only known Milo for five minutes; he couldn’t possibly have had that much of an effect on me.
