A wicked smile painted her lips and it sent chills down Test’s spine.
“Let me tell you something,” she continued. “When you left, you missed out on all of the fun—all of the reporters calling or standing on your doorstep all hours of the day. You missed out on my parents being furious with me for bringing this on them. You missed out on my dad losing his business because I was his daughter. You missed out on my parents getting divorced over everything. You missed out on me getting kicked out because, according to my mom, I couldn’t get my shit together.”
Test listened as she spewed the words with venom. Her breathing had become even more labored and sweat beaded on her forehead.
“You got to disappear and then left the rest of us to deal with the mess that you left behind.” She stood, clutching the notebook tightly in one hand and pointed her finger at him with her free hand while her body trembled with anger.
His heart was pounding in his chest; the guilt was swelling inside. “I’m sorry, Nicole. I really.…”
“You’re sorry?” she shouted. “You’re fucking sorry? My life is a cesspool waiting to get flushed away and that’s all you can say is that you’re sorry?”
The pain and anger in her eyes burned fiercely, and it was all he could do to look at her. “I know, but I don’t know what else to say, Nicole.” He leaned forward in his seat and ran his hands over his stubbly scalp as he took a deep breath. “If I would have stayed, I don’t know if things would have been any different.”
“So what, you’re saying that at least one of us got to live our lives as opposed to none of us? Great fucking answer, Test!”
Test stood forcefully and replied with blind emotion. “What do you think my life’s been like? Huh?” he shouted. “Do you think I’ve been drinking margaritas on the beach while soaking up the sun?”
Nicole took a step back, surprised at his sudden change in demeanor.
“I’m very sorry that, because you know me, that your life has been difficult, but mine hasn’t been a breeze either! I didn’t ask for any of this, remember?” Test could feel himself losing control and he glanced to his hands which had involuntarily begun to glow with energy. He closed his eyes and took a couple of long, deep breaths before continuing. “In the last year, I’ve lost everything, too. Everything has changed and it’s going to be this way for the rest of my life. I feel like I have lost control of everything.” His eyes were leaking from their corners and he dropped his shoulders in defeat. “I am so very sorry for what I’ve done to you. I will live with the guilt for the rest of my life. But you are here now, and we can either find a way to make things better, or we can continue to let our lives slip away.”
Not taking her eyes off of him, she slowly returned to her seat in the recliner, folding her legs beneath her as she sat.
Test’s entire body trembled as he struggled to speak. “We are stuck here, together, Nicole. I can either be your friend or your enemy—it’s up to you.” He paused and, exhaling deeply, spoke. “I would like it very much if I could be your friend.”
He waited for her answer, watching her grind her teeth and fidget with her hair. He knew she was struggling with more than just their shared past. He knew she needed a fix.
Rubbing her face with her hands and then pulling her hair back three times in rapid succession, she stammered. “I...I am…I don’t know what I want anymore.”
Test looked at her pitifully as she hugged the notebook to her chest. “What’s that?” he asked, trying to divert her anxiety.
She lifted it away from her thumbed through the pages. “My life,” she replied as she lifted her eyes slowly to his. “My life since our first date.”
Test’s face creased with a look of confusion, his eyes squinting. “What do you mean?” he asked as he sat on the arm of the couch next to her.
He watched as she turned back to the first page. Folding the cover around the back, she held out the notebook for him to see. His heart sank as he read the heading hand written on the page.
Simple Sunsets
It was the poem that he’d written for her on the night of their first date; a fateful night; the night when he and Nicole discovered each other, and when his powers had discovered him. He read it and though it had been more than a year since he’d written it, he found it amazing at how much it still rang true.
“Huh,” he huffed as he dropped the notebook to his lap. “Funny how we thought life was hard then.”
“Yep,” replied Nicole shortly.
Test began to turn the page and Nicole quickly ripped it from his hands, tearing the corner off the sheet he was holding. He sat for a moment, stunned, while his hands remained in their position, looking as though they held an invisible piece of paper. He looked to her with a crooked grin.
“Sorry,” she spoke shortly once again. “It’s just that….”
“No apologies needed,” Test interrupted. “I would like to read more though, when you’re ready.”
He watched as a hint of a smile formed on her lips. It was the best thing he’d seen all morning.
Chapter 19
Lauren had watched as Prim slipped out the back door and her mind twisted itself into knots trying to decide if she would follow him or not. Everyone had gathered in the kitchen and she hadn’t yet gotten used to being around so many people. Without saying a word, she began to walk to the back door, doing her best to go unnoticed. As if a knife stuck in her back, she straightened up when Maggie’s voice called out.
“And where are you going, Lauren?”
Lauren stopped mid-stride and laid her head back. “I was just going to get a breath of fresh air?” she replied, her tone lifting slightly at the end of her sentence.
“Oh. Well why don’t you see if you can help Prim with anything?”
Lauren turned slowly and, with a playful scowl, replied to Maggie as she smiled mischievously. “I may just do that.” She bowed her head and then slipped out the back door, shutting it with more force than was needed.
As she descended the steps, she stopped on the last stair and looked around for Prim. To her right was the garden. While its magic seemed slightly diminished from what it was the night before, it was still an incredible sight, even without the moonlight. To her left, sitting at an angle so that she could see a full side, was a modern day barn of sorts; a moderate sized structure with a sliding door on the front. It was covered with corrugated siding, the roof in a dark green and the sides tan. Beside the barn, Lauren recognized a small chicken coop. As she continued to look around the property, she heard someone call her name.
“Lauren!” shouted Prim.
She looked to the rear of the barn and saw him standing with a bucket in his right hand and waving for her to join him with his left. Butterflies filled her stomach as she stepped to the ground.
“Good God, you’d think I was fifteen,” she muttered to herself.
****
With Maggie having excused herself from the room for an undeclared reason, Jenz, Cliff, Alyssa, and Thad sat around the kitchen table, each of them in a somber mood. The conversation revolved around Nicole and her addiction.
Alyssa remained quiet, unsure of how she felt about Nicole’s presence. Though she and Test hadn’t really talked about her, it was obvious that there was a past—a story that she had yet to hear. She felt threatened by Nicole being alone with him, and wanted so badly to let go of the energy of the Shadows that surrounded her to slip away and eaves drop. She knew that would work if Test was human, but he wasn’t. He would sense her right away and the last thing that she wanted was to give him another reason to be upset.
She looked around the table and noticed that Jenz was conspicuously silent. She sat with her legs crossed, her right elbow atop her knee, and her chin resting in the palm of her hand while her fingers partially covered her mouth.
“Are you okay, Jenz?” asked Alyssa.
Startled by the mention of her name, Jenz arched her back quickly and placed both hands on the table.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I was just asking if you were okay. You look like something’s bothering you,” replied Alyssa.
Sitting between Jenz and Thad, Cliff let out a short huff. “I think there’s plenty ‘round here to be bothered about,” answered Cliff in a mildly sarcastic, yet playful, manner.
Not in the mood, but playing along, Alyssa stuck her tongue out at the old man.
“Actually,” replied Jenz in a reflective tone, “I was thinking about a way to help young Nicole overcome her problem. As bad as she is now, it will get worse as her body begins to go through withdrawal.”
“Really?” asked Alyssa. “Let’s hear it.”
Jenz pursed her lips, seemingly trying to keep her thought from leaving her mouth.
Rubbing his jaw as he let out a short chuckle, Thad spoke up. “If she gets any worse than that, we’re going to have to bring in Mike Tyson to deal with her.” He made eye contact with Jenz, and could clearly see that she did not find the humor in his remark. “Sorry,” he replied as he slouched in his chair. “I was just trying to lighten things up a little bit.”
“I understand,” answered Jenz dryly as she quickly looked back to Alyssa. “I’m hesitant to even suggest it.”
Still gnawing on his cigar, Cliff slowly leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. “Go ahead, there’s no harm in sharin’,” he replied as he plucked the cigar from his mouth while giving her a wink. “Over the course of my life, I’ve found there’s a whole lot of things possible that I’d have sworn on the Bible couldn’t be done.”
Tucking her long white hair behind her ears, she opened her mouth several times, each time preventing the words from exiting, until finally they broke free. “It’s not that it’s impossible, it’s just that it poses a large danger to the girl.”
“What does?” asked Thad.
“There’s a rehabilitation facility in Salem,” she replied. “We could take her there to get the help she needs.”
The weight of the room suddenly increased as the suggestion sunk in to those around the table.
Raising her hand in meekly, Alyssa questioned, “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why that would be dangerous for her.”
“Because,” replied Cliff, his demeanor suddenly becoming more serious. “We brought her here to protect her. If we take her to a facility, we won’t be able to keep an eye on her.”
“I’ll watch her.”
The group spun in their chairs at the sound of Maggie’s voice entering the conversation. She had materialized in front of the refrigerator and stood with a worried look in her eyes.
“That would certainly be of benefit,” replied Jenz. “We have much to do to prepare and an undetermined amount of time in which to do it.” She paused for a moment, staring down at the table as she tapped her nails on its surface. “I don’t mean to sound cruel, but the girl already proves to be a distraction. Should her behavior continue to escalate, a fact of which it is virtually assured if she stays, it could jeopardize all of our safety.”
Swallowing the lump that had developed in his throat, Thad spoke up again. “Well, I guess it’s settled then.”
Cliff huffed next to his grandson. “Ain’t you forgettin’ somethin’?” he asked.
Furrowing his brow, Thad replied. “What?”
“Nicole has to agree to go first,” replied Cliff, shoving his cigar back into his mouth.
“What do I have to agree to?”
Again the group spun, this time in the opposite direction towards the hallway. There stood Nicole with Test behind her. Test held her shoulders as her body flinched involuntarily. Those at the table could hear her teeth grinding as she waited for their answer.
“Come on in, hon,” said Maggie as she stepped toward Nicole. She swatted at Thad, motioning for him to stand. “Why don’t you take a seat in Thad’s chair?”
Nicole glared around the room, scowling at each face that her eyes met. “I’m fine, thanks,” she replied, bringing her focus to Cliff. “Someone want to tell me what’s going on?”
Cliff stood from his chair. “Now, now, sweetheart, no sense in getting’ upset. Why don’t you go ahead and take a seat and we’ll tell you what we was thinkin’.”
With his hands still on her shoulders, Test gave her a gentle nudge towards the table. He watched as she looked over her shoulder, through her hair, and shot him a scathing look. Without giving her the chance to speak, he continued to guide her until she was at the table.
“Please sit down,” he asked gently, pulling the chair out a little farther.
Like a bratty child, she plopped into the chair and crossed her legs. She was trembling from head to toe, and if there was any doubt in anyone’s mind about the action that needed to be taken, her presence at the table had erased it.
Test walked to his mother’s side and shrugged his shoulders as if to ask what was going on. She replied by simply placing an index finger to her lips and then motioned to the table.
“Hello, Nicole,” said Jenz. “We haven’t been formally introduced. My name is Kirsten Jenz, but my friends call me Jenz, so I would like it very much if you could do the same.”
With a brash flip of her hand, Nicole leaned forward. “It’s nice to meet you Kirsten. I’m Nicole Paxton.”
Clasping her hands in front of her on the table, Jenz puckered her lips, trying to keep the disdainful smile from appearing on her face. “Very well, as you wish. You are in my home, mine and Prim’s actually. He and I….”
“Prim?” interrupted Nicole venomously. “Isn’t that a girl’s name?”
A sudden look of anger on her face, Jenz replied poignantly. “Actually, it is derived from the Latin word Primus and has been historically used in the naming of males. Now, if you’re done being a brash, arrogant little brat, we would like to offer you some help.”
Nicole leaned back forcefully in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. “Do you think big words from a pink-eyed freak are going to intimidate me?”
“That’s quite enough, young lady!” exclaimed Maggie. “Jenz has been kind enough to take us all into her home. People have risked their lives to save yours!”
Nicole exploded from her chair, sending it toppling to the floor, and planted her hands on the table while leaning on it with all her weight. “And what if I’d rather be dead?” she shouted, every vein in her neck straining beneath her pale flesh.
The air seemed to disappear from the room. No one had recognized the severity of Nicole’s mental condition. The sound of Thad’s smooth, yet solemn, voice glided around the room.
“You don’t want that,” he replied. “You may think you do, but you don’t.”
From behind his grandson, Cliff patted him on the shoulder. “Thad, leave it be.”
“No, Grandpa,” he replied with his eyes locked on Nicole’s. “I know how she’s feeling. I’ve been there.” He watched as Nicole’s eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. “When I was growing up, I didn’t exactly fit in. I was small, I wore thick glasses, and I got made fun of a lot. The fact that I would blank out all the time didn’t help either.
“You see, I started having visions at a very young age. I didn’t understand them, or why they were happening to me. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it.” He felt Cliff’s hand grip his shoulder and patted it with his own, knowing that his grandfather was feeling a great amount of guilt. “Anyway, to make a long story short, I tried to kill myself when I was a freshman in high school.”
“Thad,” exclaimed Cliff in a breathy voice full of pain.
Never once taking his eyes off Nicole, Thad continued. “I took a whole bottle of my father’s pain medicine and very nearly succeeded at my goal. Mom found me on the floor in my room soon enough that the doctors were able to save me.”
Suddenly the anger began to melt away from Nicole’s face. Her eyes widened and her eyes began to glisten.
“You want know what the worst part of the entire thing was?” asked Tha
d.
Nicole remained still, her hands still firmly planted on the table.
“The worst part was that after I’d failed, I felt the most immense sense of guilt that….” He paused as his voice began to break. He cleared his throat before continuing. “You don’t know the pain that your actions can cause someone until you’ve looked into your mother’s eyes after doing something like that.”
With a straight face and a single tear falling down her cheek, Nicole replied coldly. “My mother doesn’t care about me.”
Thad dropped his head slightly and shook it side to side. “That’s not the point, Nicole. The point is that there are people right here—in this room—that have risked their life for you. Blood or not, these people are family. Could you really want to die knowing that it would cause them so much pain?”
Her trembling slowly intensified, and as Nicole lifted her hands from the table she arched her back, placing her hands in her face and then running them back through her hair. “I’m just so tired!” she exclaimed, her pain nearly bursting from within.
“I know you are, kid,” replied Thad. “That’s why you need to let us help you out.” He stood and placed a hand gently on the middle of her back. “There are other ways of dealing with pain, Nicole.”
From her right, Nicole heard Jenz’s voice, the anger and frustration in the words that she had spoken moments before had disappeared.
“I’m sorry, Nicole, for raising my voice to you.”
Nicole, wiping the tears before they could fall from her eyes, turned slowly to the strange woman. As if defeated, she replied as she looked to the table top. “I’m sorry too. I’m really not as much of a brat as you think I am.”
Jenz giggled. “I don’t think that at all. I just think you have a lot to deal with and I would like it very much if you would let us help you.”
Nicole took a step back and, not realizing that Test had once again positioned himself behind her, stepped on his foot. He grabbed by her the upper arms before she could fall and steadied her.
The Reverence of One: Book Three of the Shadow Series Page 20
