“I don’t want you to do this—not for me and not for anyone else.” His words are quiet, but the determination in his voice is unmistakable. It’s not a request.
“Like Felicia and Josh said…it’s not like we have a whole lot of other ideas.” Melissa shrugs, wondering when this had become her life, when using her body as currency had become something that she could talk about like this. “It’s not something I want to do, Hawk. I don’t want him.”
As if that had been the only thing that Hawk had been waiting for her to say, he closes the distance between them and pulls her towards him, holding her tight against him. Her arms come up around his neck, and she plasters herself to him, not wanting there to be any inches of air between them. She can feel his heart hammering in his chest, the vibrations thrumming through her body.
“I can’t stand the idea of you with him.” His jaw clenches at the thought. “I need to fix this, but I don’t know how. I always know what to do, what the next step is. I’m not used to feeling so…useless.” His shoulders drop as he says the word, and his voice is filled with unease. Hawk is a man of action, a man who thinks quickly and acts even quicker. The fact that he doesn’t have a solution to the Wes problem is making him crazy.
“Useless is the last word I would ever use to describe you.” She speaks against his chest, holding onto him as if she’s afraid of what might happen if she lets go.
“I’m sorry.” Hawk’s voice is muffled, as he buries his head in the crook of her neck.
“For what?” She strokes his head, running her fingers through his hair and just breathing in the scent of him.
“For getting mad, for the table, for the bookcase.” He keeps his voice low, and he won’t look at her, clearly ashamed of the way his anger had overtaken him.
“It’s not important.” Melissa pulls back a little so that she can look at him, and she sees the vulnerability in his eyes.
“It is, Melissa. That’s not the person that I want to be, that’s not the man that I want to be for you.” His expression is stern as he looks at her, his jaw set in determination.
She’s about to say something to comfort him, but she can see that he hasn’t finished yet, there’s more that he wants to say. Hawk isn’t the most talkative of men when it comes to his feelings, so in the short time Melissa has known him, she’s learned that when he needs to say something, she should close her mouth and listen or he’ll clam right back up again.
“Sometimes, I get angry…I get so angry that I just lash out and whatever or whoever is nearby gets caught in the crossfire.” Hawk takes a deep breath, struggling with what he’s about to say. Melissa keeps completely still, not wanting to do anything that will shut him down. “The club, they use me as an enforcer sometimes. They know that if something sets me off, then I’ll do whatever I need to. If they want to send a message to someone, I’m their guy.” Hawk shakes his head, huffing a mirthless laugh. “My mom used to tell me that I’m too much like my dad. He had a temper like me. It was the worst thing she could have ever told me.”
The sincerity and the hurt in his eyes makes Melissa’s heart ache for him. She wonders what kind of a mother would tell her son something that she must have known would affect him so deeply.
“You’re not like him.” She puts her hands on either side of his head, forcing him to look at her and listen to what she’s saying.
“He used to come home some nights and just trash the place. He’d be angry for one reason or another, and he’d take it out on whoever and whatever got in his way. Sometimes that was my mom; sometimes it was me. But it was like he was a different person, like he didn’t even see us, didn’t really know what he was doing, like the rage just took over.” Hawk shakes his head. His eyes are distant as he looks back into the past at the man that made him and made his and his mother’s life a living hell for so long.
“You’re not like him.” Melissa repeats the words, like a mantra, hoping that one of the times she says them, he’ll actually believe them. “You have a temper, so what? Nobody’s perfect. That doesn’t define you, Hawk. You’re so much more than that.”
He looks at her for a long moment, like he’s trying to gauge whether she’s telling him the truth or not. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
Melissa doesn’t even have to think about her reply. It’s instant because it’s the truth. “I’m not.”
“I would never hurt you, Melissa.” Hawk rests his hands on her shoulders, looking at her with eyes full of emotions.
“I know that.” And she does, she knows that he wouldn’t do anything to harm her, not physically anyway. She doesn’t dwell on the fact that he has all the power in the world to hurt her without resorting to using his fists.
“I care about you so much.” His voice is husky as he whispers the words in her ear. “I’ve never felt like this before, not about anyone. As soon as I saw you, it was like I just knew.”
Melissa feels a thrill of pleasure strike through her at his words. “It was the same for me.”
“I couldn’t deal with you and him together. It would destroy me.” He tightens his hold on her, as if he thinks she may float away.
Melissa looks up at him, putting her index finger over his lips, the way he did the first night they spent together. “Don’t think about it. Tonight it’s just you and me.” She watches as his eyes heat with the fire that seems to be constantly burning inside of him.
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
He leans down and kisses her gently on the lips. It’s a soft kiss, a gentle one, in stark contrast to the energy of his anger. She wraps her arms around his neck and presses against him, opening her mouth to him at the same time, letting him probe and explore her with his tongue. It’s a tender kiss and the heat of his mouth drives her wild.
Hawk takes hold of her hips and steers her towards the corner of her room, backing her up until the back of her legs hit the mattress. He deepens the kiss, reaching around behind her to unzip her skirt. He makes a small sound of frustration in his throat when he can’t find the clasp.
“Side.” She pants the word out, guiding him with fumbling fingers. He yanks the zip and the skirt puddles on the floor, leaving her standing in her stockings and heels.
Hawk looks at her hungrily, as if he could eat her right up, and Melissa feels the wetness between her legs spread. Greedy for him, she impatiently pushes his t-shirt up, and he tosses it to the far side of the room. Melissa runs her fingers down his muscular chest, kissing a trail along his collarbone. Her hands move lower, palming his arousal through his jeans. He’s rock hard and the knowledge that she’s the reason for that makes her buzz with excitement.
His hands are in her hair, sifting through it, stroking her neck as they kiss and bite and suckle at each other’s mouths. His thumbs settle over her breasts, stroking the hardened peaks and making her moan into his mouth. He makes quick work of her shirt, pushing it off of her shoulders. Then, he unclasps her bra in a frenzy, freeing her. He cups her breasts in his hands, weighing them, marveling at how perfectly they fit, as if she were made for him. His head bends down to suckle at her breast, first one and then the other, and Melissa arches against him, jolts of electricity running through her.
“You’re so fucking pretty.” His eyes are heavy with lust as he looks at her, and the way he licks his lips as his eyes travel over her body makes him look even more heartbreakingly sexy.
Melissa’s hands fly to the waistband of his jeans, needing to touch him, to feel him. She pulls at the buttons impatiently, as Hawk watches her like a hawk. She kneels down in front of him, pushing his pants over his hips, as she goes and frees his hardness. She looks up at him as her hand closes over his shaft. He’s watching her intently, his breathing coming in labored gasps. He knows what she’s about to do, and the anticipation of it makes his cock twitch in her hand. She leans forward, licking his tip, tasting the saltiness of him. Hawk’s groan of pleasure gives her the courage to take him into her mouth, as much of him as she can. Her
tongue caresses his shaft, as her hand works the base, twisting gently and pumping. Hawk’s hands move to her head, pushing her deeper onto his cock, and she goes even further, taking him right to the back of her throat. Hawk’s strangled moan tells her that he’s right on the edge.
“’Mel, stop.” The urgency of his words makes her look up, surprised. Most guys would never tell a woman to stop mid-blowjob.
“That feels amazing.” He takes hold of her shoulders, pulling her up to stand. “But when I come, I want it to be inside of you, and if you keep doing that, I won’t be able to hold on.” His breathing is shallow, as he tries to hold himself together. “I want to touch you.” He leans down and kisses her deeply, his hands moving down into her panties, sliding along the slickness that he finds there.
She arches against him, thrusting her breasts against his chest, his touch driving her wild. Gently, he leans her back onto the bed, pulling her panties off but leaving her stockings and heels on, clearly enjoying the show. He nuzzles at the heat between her legs, lapping at her gently, making her cry out with need.
“You taste so good, ‘Mel.” His words are a moan against her most sensitive parts, and she wriggles against him, wanting him so much it’s difficult to even think straight. He ate at her pussy, making her moan and writhe underneath him. His tongue circles the sweet spot of her clit, sucking hard until she can’t hold back anymore. She comes hard against his mouth, and he laps at her pleasure, making her shiver.
“I love to watch you, ‘Mel.” He sits up, looking down at her underneath him.
His eyes are full of raw, sexual need, and Melissa feels herself warm under his gaze. She still isn’t used to being looked at like that, and her blush spreads across her cheeks as she tries to pull him down on top of her.
“Don’t be embarrassed, not with me.” Hawk’s voice is low and raspy, and it does wonderful things to her insides. “You’re beautiful, Melissa. I love to look at you.”
He looks his fill, trailing his fingers down from her collarbone, over the mounds of her breasts, and down her flat belly—until he reaches the apex of her thighs. But he skims around the wetness between her legs, the wetness that he’s created there, stroking her inner thighs. She arches up towards him, taking hold of his shaft and squeezing gently, desperate for him to enter her where she needs him, where she’s desperate for him.
“Hawk, I want you.” Her voice is a plea, as she guides his erection towards her entrance.
“You’re mine.” He gives her a smoldering look, stopping just at her entrance, making her desperate for him, desperate for more.
She nods, whimpering, turned inside out with need.
“Say it, Melissa.” His look is intense, as he watches her wriggling underneath him.
“I’m yours.” Melissa barely whispers the words out, but she likes the way they sound, the way they play on her lips, and what they mean.
At the sound of her words, Hawk plunges into her, filling her up. She gasps, as she expands around him, stretching to fit him deeper and deeper inside of her.
“You’re mine, Melissa.” He thrusts into her again, harder this time, making her cry out in pleasure.
“Yes, yes.” Her fingernails rake down his back, as she urges him on.
“You’re mine, and I’m yours.” Hawk’s words follow his thrusts. He’s panting now, picking up the pace as he moves inside of her. “Say it, Melissa.”
“I’m yours and you’re mine.” She cries out the words, as she wraps her arms around his waist, pulling him even deeper against her.
He reaches between them, drawing circles around her clit as he pounds into her. She feels herself climbing up and up, heading towards her peak. “Melissa.” All it takes is the tender way he says her name to push her over the edge. She cries his name, as fireworks explode behind her eyes. Hawk thrusts into her one final time and groans, as he comes hard inside of her, filling her.
He supports himself on his hands so that he doesn’t collapse on top of her crushing her. However, Melissa pulls him down, wanting to feel his weight on her. “I won’t break.” She whispers the words in his ear as they lay chest to chest, breathing heavily as their hearts take up a more regular beat.
Hawk leans his forehead against hers, kissing her gently on the lips, but his eyes are hard. “I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
Melissa rolls her eyes, not totally unhappy about his jealousy. “You really want to talk about another guy while you’re still inside me?”
Hawk smiles broadly, wickedly. “It’s the only way I want to talk about another guy.” His expression turns serious again. “We’ll find another way. You’re part in all of this is done.”
“But I want to help!” Melissa pulls back to see him better.
“You have helped; now it’s time for us to deal with it. Things could get dangerous, and I don’t want you involved.” Hawk gives her a meaningful look before he pulls out of her and moves to sit on the edge of the bed, his back to her. Melissa is left feeling empty and pissed off.
“News flash Hawk, I’m already involved!” Melissa sits up, staring at his back. “So that’s it? I’m just supposed to turn tail and run. I don’t even get a say in it?”
“No, you don’t. I’m telling you to keep out of this; it’s club business now.” His voice is cold, as if he’s putting a stop to the conversation before it’s even really started.
“But I want to help. Besides, I know Wes better than all of you put together and I know how The Tribune runs. I’m useful and I can make a difference.” Melissa pulls the sheet up over herself, feeling far too exposed arguing in the nude.
He acts as if he hasn’t heard or, at least, as if he wasn’t listening. He stands up, walking away from her. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“You can’t just tell me what to do, Hawk. That’s not how this works.” She gestures at the space between them at the ‘this’ that they haven’t yet defined.
“We’re done talking about this, Melissa. Don’t push me.” He makes a cutting gesture with his hand and closes the bathroom door behind him.
Melissa doesn’t move until she hears the sound of water running. She had thought that they were making progress, that they were moving forward. But his reaction to her offer of help told her how little he seemed to understand her. Melissa has never allowed anyone to tell her what to do. It was something that drove her mother crazy, but it was the way that she was. She isn’t about to change now, and if Hawk can’t deal with that, then he is either going to have to get wise to it, or she is going to have to walk away.
Too much has happened in the last twenty-four hours to process. She needs some time and some space to think without interruptions and without the very tempting Hawk in her bed. She gathers her clothes up from the floor, pulling them on, not caring how haphazard she looks. She looks back at the door, wondering if she should confront him, have it out with him, tell him that he can’t just dictate to her, and that if he thinks their relationship is going to work that way then he’s in for a rude awakening. But after the way he’s just behaved, she knows that he’s not going to talk to her, whatever happens they’ll just descend into an argument.
They only seem to be having sex or having it out with each other. There doesn’t appear to be much of a middle ground. She knows that Ali would call that passion, but it was too exhausting for words. Melissa has no intention of leaving the Wes issue alone, and she has no intention of letting Hawk tell her what to do. So, she does the only thing she can…she leaves, hoping that he cares enough to find out why.
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
Melissa scrubs at her tear-stained face in the bathroom mirror. Get a grip, Potter. You’re the one who walked out. It was true; she was the one who had walked out of Hawk’s place without so much as a word. In her soul, she knows she had taken the easy way out; she could have confronted him about how she was feeling, but she’d been too chicken. It wasn’t only a matter of courage—she knows that. It was also a way of making her point, a w
ay of telling him that she couldn’t be bossed around, that she would stand up for herself, and that she wouldn’t take orders from the man she was supposed to be in a relationship with. He was her boyfriend, or at least something like that, not her boss.
So now that you’ve walked out, what now? Her reflection stares at her accusingly. She will have to figure that out tomorrow. Today had already been way too much of a long day for her to be able to think clearly anymore.
She pulls off her clothes, trying not to think about how only a few short hours ago Hawk was the one pulling them off, and she dumps them unceremoniously into the washing basket, changing into her pajama camisole and shorts. She turns the light off in the bathroom and jumps when—almost immediately—there’s a knock at the front door. A beating would be a more appropriate way to put it really, rather than a knock. It doesn’t stop, and Melissa already has a feeling that she knows who it is. She takes a long swallow. She’d thought that she would have at least tonight before he came looking for her. Turns out she was wrong.
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