"I said I wasn't worried," Ryan replied frostily as she got up and rinsed her coffee cup out.
Jamie rolled her eyes as her partner left the room. I'm not worried about your energy level, grouchy-bear, but I am worried about your mood.
Ryan's mood had improved by the time they reached the house, but she was still a little out of sorts. Jamie was bound and determined to get her lover down for a long nap, and for a change, Ryan didn't protest. As a matter of fact, she suggested it, deciding to head downstairs as soon as they arrived. Jamie opted to stay upstairs and get some studying done, and she sent her partner on her way, shooting a slightly worried glance after her.
Ryan descended the stairs quietly, as usual, and her light tread did not alert Martin to her arrival. To her frank surprise, her father was standing in front of her bookcase, carefully looking over the titles as his index finger trailed along the spines. "Looking for something?" she asked, a bit miffed to have her privacy invaded. Good thing he's not looking at my gym bag on the floor of the closet, she mused. He'd really get an education!
A deep flush climbed up Martin's cheeks, a rare occurrence for the dark skinned man. "Oh! You're home!"
"Yep." She walked over to the bed and climbed on top of the mattress after kicking off her shoes. "I'm home. Were you looking for something, Da?" she asked again.
"I ahh…I was just wondering about a few things…and I didn't have the kind of books that I thought they might be in…and you weren't home…" He looked at her with his embarrassment growing by leaps and bounds. "I'm sorry for looking through your things, Siobhan. I've no right…" he finished weakly.
"Hey, what gives?" she asked, throwing her legs off the bed as she sat up. "Something is bothering you, Da. Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing…nothing is wrong," he assured her. "I'm just embarrassed…that's all." His head had dropped, and his blush actually grew in intensity.
"Da, it's okay." She didn't particularly like her father looking through her things, but she knew that his motives were benign. "I don't mind if you look at my books. I know you don't snoop around in my stuff as a matter of course. Tell me what you're looking for, and I'll help you find it. I've got my computer to look things up, too. Now, what is it?"
He looked as embarrassed as ever, and started to back out of the room, saying, "This was a bad idea, sweetheart. Don't trouble yourself."
"Da, wait!"
He paused at the door, unable to meet her gaze.
"Come on, now, you can tell me," she urged. "God knows you know more embarrassing things about me than I can to remember."
Her warm smile and reassuring tone gave him the courage to stay, and he finally revealed his quest. "I was ahh…trying to catch up on new trends or techniques," he admitted awkwardly. "It's been a long, long time since I've been in this position, and I figured that I've missed out on a lot."
He still had not stated the subject that he was interested in, but Ryan had talked to enough people about sex to recognize the warning signs. "Come sit by me," she said, patting the mattress. He did so, still vaguely gazing at the floor. "Da, there's nothing to be ashamed of," she soothed. "It has been a long time, and it makes perfect sense that you'd feel a little uncomfortable."
He looked up at her, his blue eyes showing his vulnerability. "It does?"
"Yes, of course it does. Everybody is a little uncomfortable when they're with a new partner, Da. It's completely natural."
His mouth curled up just a tiny bit as he said, "You must have been chronically uncomfortable before you met young Jamie, Siobhan."
She slapped his leg, adding a bump with her shoulder. "Hey, that was a low blow," she laughed. "But, you know, you make a good point. I wasn't uncomfortable with those women; they didn't mean enough to me to be nervous. But I was trembling so badly the first time Jamie kissed me, I looked like I had a nerve disorder!"
He chuckled at her recollections and said, "That doesn't make me feel much better, sweetheart."
"Tell me what you're worried about-specifically," she said, gazing into his eyes.
"Well…I suppose I worry that it's been so long that I've missed something important," he said. "Your mother and I didn't have a clue, Siobhan, we just did what came naturally."
Her smile grew even warmer when she asked, "I am surprised to hear myself ask this question, but did you and Mama have a good sex life?"
He couldn't stop the matching smile that settled on his face. "Yes, love, I'd say that we did."
"Then why on earth do you not assume the same will be true with Aunt Maeve?" Ryan asked. "It's not about technique and performance, Da. You should know that more than anyone. Aren't you the fella who told me how special sex was when you shared it with someone you love?"
"Yes, I'm the one," he agreed. "It was a lot easier when I was speaking theoretically, love. It's the actuality that has me spooked."
Ryan stood and went to her bookshelf. She pulled down one of her lesbian sex manuals, a book she hadn't looked at since she was 18, and thumbed through it. "Okay, Da, just to help you feel a little more comfortable, take a look at the first few chapters of this one." She took the paper bookmark out of the book, and placed it carefully. "Don't bother reading past the bookmark…that's lesbian stuff, and a lot more than you need to know. The early chapters cover all of the technical stuff and talk about different ways of being touched that some women like." She looked through the book again and pointed out one chapter. "Chapter seven talks about sexual communication. That's an important one, Da. I guarantee you'll have a great time together if you can talk about things." She smiled at him and asked, "Did you and Mama talk about how you felt about sex?"
"Goodness no!" he cried. "Your mother was very shy about talking about those sorts of things, love. She greatly enjoyed our time together, but she was completely unable to talk about it. She was the typical Irish girl, Siobhan, with a little more guilt than was good for her."
"I'm sure Granny had a bit to do with that," Ryan scoffed.
"Of that I'm certain," he agreed. "I just hope Maeve threw all of that nonsense out long ago."
"I do too, Da, but if she didn't, send her my way." She was smiling broadly, and he wrapped her in a gentle hug.
"I should have talked to you weeks ago," he admitted. "I've lost a lot of sleep over this."
"I hope you lose a lot more sleep, Da, but I hope it's in pursuit of pleasure."
"Darlin', this is one part of you that doesn't resemble your mother in the least!"
Ryan slept most of the afternoon away, and when Jamie went down to check on her she was still groggy. "Hold me," her small voice asked when Jamie surreptitiously approached the bed.
She kicked off her shoes and climbed in behind her partner, snuggling close to her warm body. "I wasn't sure if you were awake yet."
"I'm not sure I am," Ryan grumbled, her voice still sleep-clouded. "I hate long naps."
"You must have needed it, honey, or you wouldn't have slept so long. You have to let your body heal."
"I'm sick of healing. I'm sick of sleeping so much. I'm sick of being grouchy," she added in a very grouchy voice. "I don't feel like myself."
"I can tell, sweetheart. I think it's time to go see the doctor."
Ryan's body tensed appreciably when this suggestion registered. "I don't have time," she said tersely. "I'll go during winter break, if I don't feel better by then."
"Honey, that's nearly a month from now. Why wait that long? If there's something wrong with you they might be able to fix it by then…"
Ryan flipped over onto her back, dislodging Jamie's arms. "You said earlier today that you were sure nothing was wrong," she growled. "Which is it, Jamie? Is there something wrong with me, or not?" She scooted off the bed and stomped into the bath, closing the door loudly.
Jamie gave her a few minutes alone, knowing that it would do no good to try to force her to interact. She knew that there was a very fine line between smothering her partner and making her feel abandoned, and she still wa
sn't very good at staying on the right side of the line. Thinking enough time had elapsed, Jamie went to the door and knocked softly. "Honey, can I talk to you?"
There was a long silence, finally punctuated with Ryan's tight voice. "I need some time alone, Jamie. Please."
She hated to leave her partner sulking in the bathroom, so she offered, "I'll go upstairs for a while, sweetheart. You can have your room back."
There was no response, so she took that as acquiescence and went upstairs to give her partner some space. Martin and Maeve were in the kitchen, trying to figure out how to share the space without stepping on each other's toes. "Hi," Jamie said lethargically as she grabbed a stool.
"Where's herself?" Martin asked. "I thought she'd be foraging for food by now."
"Bad mood," Jamie said. "Very bad mood as a matter of fact. I'm worried about her," she added. "I mean, I'm sure she's just fatigued, but she just isn't herself."
"I think you'd better take her to the doctor, Jamie," Martin decided. "Do you want me to call?"
"Does she have a gynecologist?" Jamie asked.
"No, and she should," Maeve chimed in. "She goes to Dr. Terry-and has since she was in diapers. He's a good doctor, but even he thinks she should have a gynecologist."
"Do you think there's anything seriously wrong with her, Jamie?" Martin's voice was wary, and his eyes reflected his concern.
"No, I really don't. I think she's just fatigued, and has never fully recovered from the flu. I guess I'll take her to my gynecologist. Ryan likes her, and she's very thorough."
"Good luck," Martin warned. "Getting her to the doctor is like wrestling a tiger. I've never seen a child so antagonistic to a simple checkup."
"I think I can handle her," Jamie decided, not absolutely sure that she could.
Dinner was nearly ready, and Jamie decided that she needed to fetch her partner, since she obviously wasn't going to come up of her own accord. Ryan was sitting sideways on the loveseat, her knees drawn up almost to her chin, her long arms tightly wrapped around her shins. She was crying softly and Jamie felt a stab of regret that she had left her. "Ryan, honey, don't cry," Jamie urged as she knelt on the floor next to the sofa and tucked her arms around her shoulders. "Don't worry, love, everything is fine," she soothed, pleased when Ryan began to relax against her.
"I'm worried that I'm really sick, Jamie," she sniffed.
"No, no, no you're not," the smaller woman insisted. "You might be a little anemic or run down, but you're not seriously ill, honey. You're generally fine, it's just that your stamina is off." She pulled back so that she could see Ryan's eyes. "I know it feels like you're always tired, but you seem fine most mornings. Just like your usual self. I think it's the travel that really takes it out of you."
"Don't forget the bad food," she added. "If I never see another pizza from a student union it will be too soon." She lifted her head and fixed Jamie with a look, searching her eyes as she asked, "Do you swear that you think I'm okay?"
"Yes. I am certain there is nothing seriously wrong with you. But I think there is something minor, and completely fixable, that is affecting your mood. I think we need to get you checked out."
"Okay," Ryan agreed. She wiped her eyes and swung her feet onto the floor. "As soon as winter break starts I'll go to the doctor-if I'm not feeling better by then."
Sheesh! Maybe I can't handle her, she decided, thinking that Martin's prediction was too accurate for her comfort.
"Well, hello," Ryan said happily as she walked into the house after her Monday morning class. "I didn't expect to see you at home today. It's a very nice surprise." She crossed over to Jamie, who was seated on the loveseat, and placed a gentle kiss on her soft lips.
"I'm kind of caught up, so I thought I'd hang around today. How about you? Is there much on your agenda?"
"I could obviously keep busy, but I don't have anything I have to do until practice," she said as she sat down next to her partner. "You sound like you have something brewing. What's up?"
"Oh," she said casually as she slowly trailed her fingers up and down Ryan's leg, "I thought I might talk you into playing hooky from your studies today. I just feel like we didn't have much of a weekend."
Ryan looked a little abashed, as she conceded, "You mean that you didn't have much of a weekend, because I was such a jerk."
"Nope," she disagreed. "Not what I said-not what I meant. You had games on Friday and Saturday, and you didn't feel well yesterday. Speaking of not feeling well, did you get your period today?"
"Huh-uh," she said as she shook her head.
"How overdue are you, Ryan?"
"Just a few days. No biggie," Ryan said dismissively.
Jamie let that slide, even though she didn't agree. "So…are you interested in my offer?"
"Yeah, I could take the day off. Do you just want to go back to bed, or do you want to interact with humans?" Ryan asked with a rakish smile. As Jamie regarded her, she reminded herself that Ryan really was fine-early in the day, before she had drained all of her resources. Most days she was absolutely her normal self, it just seemed like the delay of her period was making her mood bad.
"Let's go out," Jamie said. "I'll be in charge of our day, okay?"
"Um…sure. You don't often come up with bad ideas. You're in charge of our day. I just need to be back by four for practice. How should I dress?"
"You look perfectly fine," Jamie said, glancing at the "Cal Volleyball" T-shirt and black jeans. She extended her hand and pulled Ryan to her feet, saying, "Let's rock."
"Palo Alto?" Ryan asked as Jamie steered the Porsche down the sedate, tree-lined streets of the city.
"Yep." She pulled the car up to a meter and put in enough quarters for two hours. "That should do it," she said as she waited for Ryan to exit. They walked down the street and turned the corner, but Ryan stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted the quaint little building that they were headed to.
"What's wrong?" Ryan demanded with a note of panic as she grasped Jamie's hand.
"Nothing, nothing," she soothed. "I decided yesterday that I was going to take you to the gynecologist, and I thought there was a good chance that you wouldn't agree if I asked you, so I decided to trick you into it," she said, smiling contentedly.
Ryan's hands were placed firmly upon her hips, as she said with a slightly stunned look on her face, "And you're proud of that accomplishment?"
"Kinda," she said, grasping Ryan's hand to lead her down the street.
Ryan pulled to a halt again and shook Jamie's hand away as she said, "How do I convince you that I don't like you to make my decisions for me?"
"Sweetheart, you were sitting in your room yesterday crying because you feel so bad. I'm not going to stand by and do nothing, and I'm not going to let you wait until winter break to go to the doctor. I have to take better care of you than that. You're just too important to me." She was looking at Ryan with such a sweet, loving look on her face that Ryan didn't have the heart to stay angry with her. She wasn't ready to completely forgive her, though, so she merely rolled her eyes, shoved her hands in her pockets, and strode down the street to the door of the medical office.
Jamie trotted up behind her and immediately went up to the front desk. "Hi," she said in her usual friendly manner. "Ryan O'Flaherty is here for her ten o'clock."
"I need her to fill out some forms since she's a new patient," the receptionist told her as she handed over a clipboard with a few pieces of paper attached.
Ryan spent a few minutes filling out the myriad of forms, and after she was finished, the nurse came out to call her in. Jamie hopped up with her, and they were shown into the doctor's office. "Dr. Aiken will be with you in a moment," the nurse said as she closed the door.
"I don't have to strip in here, do I?" Ryan asked as she looked around.
"No, silly. She talks to you for a while, and then they'll show you to a room for an exam."
"Hmm, I'm not used to a lot of talking," Ryan said suspiciously.
&nbs
p; "It's okay. She's a real doctor. See, she even went to U.C.S.F." She pointed to the framed diploma on the wall.
"I know, I know," Ryan grumbled, pacing back and forth across the floor nervously.
The door swung open, and Dr. Aiken came into the room. She extended her hand and said, "Hi, I'm Alison Aiken," as Ryan stood and shook her hand.
"Hi. Ryan O'Flaherty. We've met twice before," she said as she tilted her head towards her lover.
"Jamie?" Alison said as she sat down. "Ahh…am I seeing you today?" the doctor asked with a confused look on her face.
"Nope. I brought Ryan in for a checkup. Ryan was here a few weeks ago with her young friend Jennie. She also came with me when I had that pregnancy scare last year," she added, smiling at her partner. "She's the good luck charm for women who don't want to be pregnant."
"Riiiight," Alison said slowly as she looked at Ryan's paperwork. "So how are things for you, Jamie?" she asked absently as she continued to look at the forms.
"Everything is great, and I feel marvelous since I stopped taking the pill this summer," Jamie said. "I have a new, foolproof birth control method," she added, picking up Ryan's hand and giving it a squeeze. "My new partner has permanently resolved my birth control issues."
Dark brown eyes settled onto the couple. "Well, well, well," she said, quirking a smile. "That's a bit of a change."
"Yeah, it caught me by surprise too, but I couldn't be happier."
"Well congratulations, Jamie. I hope things work out well for you…I mean for both of you," she amended as she turned her gaze to Ryan.
"Things have been blissful," Jamie revealed. "But I'm concerned about my partner here. Can you reassure both of us today?"
"I'll do my best," Alison said as she looked down at her notes. "So, Ryan, tell me about how you feel."
"I guess I feel like I have a really bad case of PMS," she said thoughtfully. "But it seems like it's lasted since September."
"Since you got the flu?" Alison asked.
"You read my chart?" Ryan asked in amazement.
Journeys - SF10 Page 10
