by Amelia James
"That's my Janie," he whispered against her lips. He looked into those soft green eyes, but as he moved to kiss her again, something made him pause. "What is it?"
"Hmm?" She wouldn't look at him.
"You want to say something."
She bit her lower lip. "Um...."
"Talk to me. Don't be afraid."
Her body got tense again, and when she finally spoke, he barely heard her voice. "Let's go someplace more private."
He nodded. "Okay." He knew what that meant when other girls said it, but Janie was mystifying.
"I don't like having an audience."
He smiled and gave her one more hot kiss—just for the hell of it—and then they left.
***
Talk to me, he said. Don't be afraid, he said.
But Jane was afraid. Afraid of what might happen if she admitted to him, or even to herself, what she wanted. She wanted him—all of him—but would never have him. Not really. So she would take what she could get. Even without knowing exactly what would happen, she wanted to take the chance.
They drove to a quiet park near the campus, with no other cars and only a few people—couples making out in the dark. Austin turned off the engine and looked at her, his eyes glittering in the dark. The silence raised goose bumps on her skin, and she stiffened in her seat, twirling her hair around her fingers.
Now you have to sleep with him. Her heart pounded out Sara's prediction. Have to? No. Want to? Big possibility.
She looked around, trying to figure out if his Jeep had enough room to have sex in, but with his long arms and long legs, it looked pretty much impossible.
"You're so cute when you're nervous." He leaned close, touching her rigid arm.
"So are you." Oh good one, idiot.
He laughed. "Mmm... a smart ass. I like that in a girl."
His smile was just short of heaven, but his blue eyes promised all sorts of sin. What had she gotten herself into?
She shoved the door open and jumped out of that suffocating Jeep. "Let's go for a walk."
A cool breeze blew through her hair, and she took a deep breath. The moon rose over the horizon, casting a silver shimmer on their perfect night. She couldn't think of a thing to worry about.
What about tomorrow, an annoying voice whispered in her head. Tomorrow doesn't matter. Enjoy now.
Austin offered his hand and she took it, following him down a rocky path by the river. She walked beside him, leaning against his arm when the path got narrow. She wobbled a bit and he caught her.
"Stupid heels."
"Come here." He found a big rock and sat down with her between his legs, her back leaning against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Comfy?"
"Yup." He buried his nose in her hair and breathed deep.
She felt him relax. She couldn't remember him ever being so quiet, but she didn't worry. Wait... is he humming? Could Austin Sinclair be content? Is such a thing even possible?
"Why do you hate your name?"
Austin stiffened. So much for being content. Maybe she should've started with a less probing question.
"It's my father's name." The night breeze carried his tense words away, and she leaned close to listen.
"Oh." That couldn't be good.
"My father is... not a nice guy."
No, not good at all. "I understand."
"He cheated on my mother. I don't know how many times. He finally left her for a pretty face half my mother's age." His voice got louder and picked up strength. "Cheated on her too. I think he's on wife number four now."
"I see." He'd told her much more than she'd bargained for, but if he wanted to talk, she would listen.
"I know you're thinking that I'm just like him." He let out a sigh. "I guess I am."
His admission surprised her, and she couldn't believe he kept talking.
"But I won't ever make the mistake of committing to one woman. I couldn't live with myself if I broke her heart... if someone got hurt." He said the words with conviction and a hint of something. Grief, perhaps?
Should she point out the obvious? "And yet you're known as the campus heartbreaker."
He chuckled. "How's that for irony? I never make promises I can't keep. I won't fall in love, and no one gets hurt."
He won't fall in love. That's exactly what Sara had said. How did she know him so well? "Love doesn't have to hurt."
His eyes questioned her.
"Love can heal."
"Ha." He snorted.
"Look at my family. My mother is a super-religious, overprotective, uptight control freak. She's afraid I'm going to meet a guy and not finish college like she did, so she doesn't approve of anything I do, and she's constantly judging me."
"You're telling me that doesn't hurt?"
"It hurts a lot. But instead of trying to protect me from the 'sinful world,' my dad sent me out into it. My mom wanted me to stay home and study all the time—and I mean all the time—but my dad got me involved in sports. He taught me to play baseball, took me to games, and even let me have a sip of his beer."
"Way to go, Dad."
"My mother did not approve. It was a constant battle between them."
"So your parents hated each other."
She shook her head. "Not at all. They loved each other like crazy."
Austin frowned. "How is that possible?"
"I don't know." Jane had to think about that. "It just worked out for them because they were right for each other."
He laughed. "That only happens in the movies."
"They balanced each other. She worried about everything, and he worried about nothing. She felt guilty all the time, while he laughed and enjoyed life. They were good for each other."
Silence descended, and she jumped when Austin finally spoke. "You're talking about the past. Something bad must've happened to them."
Her voice caught in her throat. "My dad was killed in a car accident two years ago." Tears suddenly flowed down her cheeks.
"Oh, Janie, I'm so sorry." He gently rocked her.
"After he died, my mom thought she was being punished for all the fun she had with him, so I told her something he once said to me."
"What's that? Love is all you need?" He sneered.
She ignored that. "He said falling in love with her was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he wished she believed that too."
"Did she?"
"Yes, but it was too late." She scowled and plucked the grass beside her, yanking it from its roots and tossing it aside. "She's still judgmental and overprotective."
"And that's why I don't believe it. If love healed her, then why does she still hurt you?"
Jane bit her lip, pitying the girl who ever fell in love with Austin. That would hurt more than anything. Another tear escaped her eyes.
He brushed her cheek with his thumb and whispered softly, "Hey, why are you crying on our first date? I haven't even looked at another girl."
That earned a little smile from Jane. "It hurts to know you think love is so worthless. Don't you ever get lonely?"
Pain and loss flickered in his eyes, but he glanced away. When he looked back at her, his usual naughty grin had reappeared. "There are plenty of cheerleaders around to keep me company."
"I don't believe that."
"Not enough cheerleaders? Maybe I'll start dating the women's soccer team."
Jane punched his arm and he laughed. "I can change your mind."
"Think so, huh?"
"I'll prove to you love doesn't have to hurt."
"Good luck with that."
"You don't think I can?"
"No one can." But even as he spoke, he pulled her closer. "I decided a long time ago that love is not an option."
She sighed. "I guess I should be careful what kind of questions I ask you. I forgot how honest you are."
That comforted her somewhat. Sara had said a lot of bad things about Austin, but she'd never once said he lied.
"Don't ask questions you don't want answered." His voice warned her, but his eyes played.
But he was hiding something else... something he didn't want her to see.
"Maybe we should keep walking." She stood up and wobbled, nearly tumbling down the riverbank.
Austin grabbed her arms and held her steady. "Are you sure you can handle this trail in those shoes?"
"I can take them off."
"Or I can carry you."
She squealed as he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. "Austin, put me down!" She laughed and pummeled his back with her fists.
"Nope." He spanked her wiggling ass. "Hold still, will ya?"
Jane slapped his butt, giggling when he flinched.
"Woman, you are in trouble now."
She pushed up on his shoulders, but the shift of her weight made him stumble and fall forward into the grass. Austin tried to catch himself, but he fell, still holding her tight.
She grunted when he landed on top of her. "Ow."
"Are you okay?" He raised himself up on his hands, looking down at her.
Chapter 5
"Yeah." She gasped for breath. "Are you?"
"Yeah, you broke my fall." Austin grinned, pressing hard against her.
Jane felt something between them—not like that—she actually felt his—yeah, that—and the evil grin on his face told her he felt it too. Did she dare tell him? She knew he would like it, but then he would know she'd noticed, and she didn't want to go there yet. Good thing her mouth decided not to cooperate. She fought off the temptation to find out what would happen if she said something provocative.
"Glad I could help." She squirmed beneath him, trying to move into a position less... intimate.
Austin smiled and moaned when she wiggled her hips.
"Are you enjoying this?"
"Oh yeah."
He smiled down at her, and for a split second, she wanted to slap that naughty grin right off his face. Then those wicked blue eyes met hers, and her anger turned into another kind of passion. Her hand landed on the back of his neck and she pulled him down for a kiss.
His arms tightened around her body, lifting her up into him as he pressed down, pinning her against the ground. He rocked against her—slowly, gently—and she wondered if he knew he was doing it.
Should she make him stop? No, she didn't want that. Should she move with him? Mmm... that seemed like a good idea. He felt so good—hard, warm, strong. Yes, she definitely wanted more—more kissing, more touching, more of his body against hers.
She moaned into his mouth, arching against him as his body tensed and his maddening motion stopped. "Who's the stiff one now?" She was asking for trouble, but she didn't care.
Austin looked into her eyes, and she stared right back. He shifted his weight, leaving no doubt about how much he wanted her. "Is this what you want, Janie?" He ground his hard cock between her thighs. "I can give you exactly what you're asking for, and I can give it to you all night long."
She bit her lower lip and he sighed.
"That's what I was afraid of." He kissed her and rolled onto his side, taking her with him. Sliding his hand into her hair, he gently pulled her head back, exposing her throat to his mouth.
Jane sighed and cuddled closer to him. She played with the buttons on his shirt, wondering if she should open one. Heat seared her through his clothes, but she wanted to feel his skin. His tongue made circles on her neck just below her ear, moving slowly down her body to the top button of her blouse. She held her breath, hoping he would rip it off with his teeth, but instead, he kissed his way back up her neck, driving her crazy. When he kissed her lips again and ignored her silent wishes, she decided to open the damn button herself.
Before she could do it, he took her hand and moved it to her ribs, entwining his fingers with hers--a sweet, romantic gesture, but she wasn't in the mood for sweet and romantic. She pushed him onto his back and straddled him, leaning over to kiss him hard. She smiled when he moaned.
"Ah, Janie." He sat up, keeping her in his lap with his arms wrapped around her, and touched his lips to hers. She fiddled with his buttons and he grabbed her hands, kissing her fingertips one by one.
She caught her breath. Even a simple sweet kiss from him melted her to her toes.
"Janie, sweetheart, baby, I think it's time to call it a night."
"What?" Bayfield's bad boy wanted to go home early? Alone? Maybe he didn't sleep with every girl he met, after all. "Why?"
"It's getting late."
Right then Jane realized she wanted to sleep with him. She knew she wouldn't see him again after tonight, but hoped tonight would at least last till morning. "Tomorrow is Saturday." She kissed him. "You said we could sleep in."
He chuckled. "I did say that, didn't I?"
He didn't seem to want her. She suddenly felt hot, and the stars started to spin. He'd played her all along.
"I see." She stood up on wobbly legs. He held her arms to steady her, but she jerked away from him. "Take plain Jane out on a date, get her all hot and bothered, and then dump her. Haha. Good joke." She ran away from him, not caring that the Jeep was waiting in the other direction.
"Janie, no!" Austin ran after her. "It's not like that at all."
"Really?" She turned around but kept walking backwards. "Austin Sinclair actually knows how to say no?" She ran off again.
"Janie, wait."
"Don't call me that. Ever."
"Get back here, woman. Let me explain."
She stopped in her tracks, and turned to face him with arms crossed. "This better be good."
He caught up to her and reached his arm out, but she backed away, prompting him to raise his hands in surrender. "I want to take you out again."
She huffed.
"Did you have fun tonight?"
"Till now."
"So did I. We had a great time. Admit it."
She set her jaw and shook her head.
"Damn stubborn woman." He swore under his breath. "I had a great time watching you pitch and teaching you how to throw a football. I even had a great time talking to you. I've never done that with anyone before."
Jane pressed her lips together, trying to stop the smile from taking over.
"I could take you to bed with me tonight, and believe me, I want to." Austin moved closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "And you know that."
His soft, husky tone made her shiver as he pulled her against him. She didn't resist.
"I think if we slept together tonight, it could ruin whatever it is we have here."
"You want to wait? Why?"
"I don't know what's going on." He shook his head as if he couldn't believe it either. "But I want it to last as long as it can."
Could she trust him? He flirted entirely too much and said outrageous things, but as far as she knew, he'd never lied to her. "I do too."
"Good, then let me take you out again sometime next week. No, you tell me—when, where. It's all up to you."
She finally smiled. "You're taking a big chance, you know."
"I'm not afraid of you."
"You should be." She loved teasing him.
"I'm not afraid of you... Janie." He ducked and ran.
She tried to run after him, but she stumbled in those shoes.
"Do I have to carry you back to the Jeep?"
"Just don't drop me again."
"Don't tempt me." Those sinful blue eyes sparkled. "I liked where I landed."
"I'll bet you did."
He scooped her up in his arms. "You did too, Janie. You were all over me. You're a bad girl."
She opened her mouth to argue, but couldn't. "I'll deny it. You can't prove anything."
"Don't worry." He kissed her with soft, warm lips. "I'll never tell."
"You don't kiss and tell?"
"Nope. All the rumors you heard about me came from someone else."
"You don't brag to your friends just a little?"
He winced. "Maybe just
a little, and only to the ones I trust, but I never name names."
She laughed. "Because you can't remember names."
***
They drove back to her apartment, laughing and teasing and kissing at every red light. Austin hummed while he walked her to the door. He didn't want to say goodnight already, and was pretty sure she didn't either. She'd felt so perfect under him—like she belonged there. It would be so easy to take her to her bedroom and rip her clothes off.
This was supposed to be casual and fun. What the hell am I waiting for?
He couldn't remember. It would be so easy to let her have her way with him. Too easy.
What's wrong with easy?
He didn't want her to be easy, or like every other girl. He wanted her, no question, but he suddenly remembered his mother's words: Anything worth having is worth waiting for.
Janie was worth the wait.
Yeah, think about your mother, Austin. That'll make you wait.
"You kept your promise." Jane pulled him into the darkened doorway.
Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "What promise?"
"You didn't disappoint me."
That simple statement answered his questions. He'd told her he'd wait, so he would. End of discussion.
He held her close. "That was an easy promise to keep."
He would take it slow. Maybe he wasn't used to being patient, but he didn't mind waiting for her. Somehow, it felt like the right thing to do. But that didn't mean he had to stop kissing her. Definitely need more kissing.
A wicked smile found its way to her lips. "I was hoping for a little more fun, but no, someone decided to go all virtuous on me."
Teasing him like that could lead to all sorts of trouble. He hoped that was what she wanted.
"Ha. It won't last long." If he didn't leave now, he would have her naked right up against her front door. "I promise."
She pressed her body against him, her lips touching his. "Tell me you want me."
"I want you, Janie."
"Good. I just wanted to hear you say it."
He groaned and kissed her, pinning her to the door with his hard body. "Tease."
"Oh, I'm the tease? You're the one who brought me home early." She pulled at him so hard he fell against the door and nearly crushed her.
