Lynette didn’t let this conversation go by the wayside. She knew her husband well. That he asked her about her fertility meant that he had given some serious thought to it. That he no longer had any biological children of his own evidentially troubled him. Ever the practical one, and in all seriousness, a week or so later, she sat him down in front of the big fireplace in the Great Room. She began, a bit shakily, but in full love and concern for her husband’s need.
“If you want to have a baby with another woman, as your incubator…, I will help you do that.” She swallowed, trying to get the next words, up and out of her mouth. She took a deep, sustaining breath. “We could find some young, healthy Apache woman, maybe one who has been divorced or widowed and needs the financial help. We could work with her to determine her cycle and when she would normally ovulate, you could sleep with her enough to impregnate her, as long as you and I raise the child as our own. It would be my child,” she said, every word spoken specifically to clearly convey her message. There was pain in her voice, but resolve on her face. “Or…,” and Blaze cut her off.
“Have you lost your friggin’ mind, wife?” he asked her, looking incredulously at her, hearing her statement. “You would let me sleep with another woman?” he said, almost angrily.
“I’m trying to work through this … what you want,” she said apologetically.
He stood up. He lifted her to her feet by her shoulders. He looked deep into her eyes with a frightening scowl on his face.
“That night…that night at the little cabin, when I poured water over your body, I committed my body to you, to your body, and never to another woman for so much time as I walk on this earth. I will never…never…never enter the body of another woman so long as I live. My seed will never swim inside another woman! Do you hear me, my wife? Do you not understand that my life belongs only to you and the Creator who made us all? Tell me you understand that,” he said, almost shaking her.
“Blaze, I know that. I do know that. I’m just trying to tell you that I love you enough to do anything to give you that gift of life. And if that’d be what it would take to give you a child, I will do that, my husband,” she replied, her mouth, her body full of love for this wonderful man.
“It will never be necessary. You will never have to make that sacrifice,” he assured, and he clutched her tightly to his chest. How could a woman love him this way, love him so unconditionally, he thought as he held her. What did I do in this life, or in past lives, to deserve such love?
Again, some days later, they resumed this conversation, but this time it involved their two bodies.
“If I am able to have a child from my body, it will be with you,” he said. “I’ve been in touch with a clinic in Dallas that does marvelous things with eggs and sperm. If you’re willing to undergo some treatments to…ahhh…,” he began to stutter.
“To enhance production and liven up my old eggs,” she finished his sentence with a loving smile.
“Well, let’s not put it quite that way, but yes – to do whatever science can do to ensure healthy ova. Then…they could take your eggs, put them with my seed and do the in-vitro. They assure me that a “carrier,” a surrogate, can be located. It will be expensive, but hell, what’s money for if you can’t get what you want with it. I want to have a baby with you, Lynn…I want a baby out of you…I want our child, I want to leave life here after I die,” he said, his voice resonating with resolve.
Lynette, like most women of her age, felt that her child-rearing and certainly child-bearing days were over. In fact, having another baby after Janette was born had been banished from her conscious thoughts. In a miserable marriage at the time, she couldn’t fathom bringing another life into that union. She’d never really had that flush of feelings when holding a newborn, as some women did, that maybe they’d like to have just one more! She liked little babies, but they took care, and changed the lives of the parents for at least twenty years. Did she really want to complicate what she and Blaze had together? This was a marriage of a lifetime. This was a union that most women would sell their immortal souls to have. Did she love him enough to turn her world upside down to give him progeny? She gave serious thought to what he was proposing, and two days later, after much soul searching and prayer for guidance, she drove out to the corral he was building to accommodate three more rescued horses. She climbed up on the top railing of the fence and yelled over to him –
“We’re going to need a crib!”
Blaze dropped the shovel and walked over to her with a look on his face she was never able to describe. He grabbed her off the fence, and let her slide slowly down his body until her feet barely touched the straw. Kissing her the way he did, was like the first kiss they’d ever shared. It was hungry and torrid, passionate and grateful.
That night, Blaze came to their bed and made love to her in a way that he’d only done maybe twice before. It took all of his will power, all of his skill, all of his self-control, to achieve the kind of pleasure he intended to give to his wife. He used a method of intentional “teasing” to bring his wife to the point where she begged for release. He brought her near climax several times, but knew exactly when to pull away – to cease movement. He gently pinned her arms above her head and controlled her in every way. When she tried to claw at his golden flesh, he intertwined his fingers with hers and prevented her hands from moving onto his back. He brought her to near frenzy, and only when he knew she could stand no more did he plunge them both into indescribable ecstasy. Lynette screamed – literally screamed - as he brought her to completion. Explosions erupted all over her body. She convulsed as if having a grand-mal seizure. Gasping for breath, she began to cry uncontrollably – the pleasure was so overwhelming. Blaze was able to hold himself until that moment. He had worked hard. He was sweating – like a man working in the heat of a steel mill. His movements were no longer controlled. He began to shake and released Lynette’s hands to steady himself. He arched painfully, frozen in motion, then he let out an excruciating yell – caught half-way down his throat. He did not try to muffle the sound; he did not try to stop it. It was almost like the first time when he made love to this beautiful woman. Parts of his body wanted to separate from the rest, but sinew and tissue held all together. Nothing would tear away. It was all so good, so complete. He had given unbelievable pleasure to his wife, and he had experienced the same for himself. It was his way of thanking her for agreeing to take part of his body and hers and turn it into a human form – a child of his own. He collapsed next to her and they cried together; cried loudly until the need for tears passed. Then they just held onto each other – for dear life.
So - this older couple embarked on a journey of exploration and uncertainty, but they did it together, fully committed to making each other whole and happy. So much in love that at times it made them feel crazy. A kind of delirium swept over them. There had to be a Supreme Being working daily in their lives, because two people, alone, could not construct this kind of joy.
CHAPTER 32
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A Child Is Born
Through social services in Dallas and contacts with several Native groups across the southwest, Blaze located a young Apache woman who was working her way through University. She had been a surrogate carrier once before, for a fee, and that is how she paid her way through undergraduate college. She didn’t want to live with the family for whom she carried the child. It was wholly a business arrangement. She lived in another state, and kept her “affairs” a secret from her nuclear family. Age 26, healthy, psychologically stable, she agreed to carry their child for a final fee of $25,000. They would pay all medical bills up to and including the birth, and for six months afterward. Aaron would handle the legal end of things, and in less than a year, Blaze and Lynette would be parents again. The child would come near his birthday in November. By then, Blaze would be 51, Lynette 48. At this age, they should only be grandparents. But, out of love, they would combine all they were, and bring another life into this world.<
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All three parties underwent complete, intensive physicals. Then came the DNA and genetic testing, and consultation with a therapist to make sure they were ready to undertake this process. Lynette began hormonal therapy to stimulate production of her eggs. The medicines made her nauseated. She felt something akin to morning sickness, but she never complained. Blaze watched her carefully, and knew when she was sick. Those were the times when he gathered her to him and held her quietly. He would lie next to her on top of the soft bed covers and nestle himself around her with his arm held protectively around her body. Or, if she felt too shaky to make it into the bedroom, he would guide her to a big leather couch, sit quickly and let her lay her head in his lap. With his strong, yet gentle hands he would stroke her forehead with tenderness and love. He was the only medicine she needed, and he knew it.
Lynette lay nervously on the table at the Dallas fertility center, waiting for the medical team to extract her eggs. Rather than a laparoscopic procedure, where a small incision would have to be made into her abdomen, the more current extraction could be done with a large needle inserted through her vagina, into her ovaries. This procedure would not require general anesthesia, but the doctors gave her something to sedate her, with that well-known expression, “you might feel a little pressure!” Several of her eggs were harvested and fertilized with Blaze’s sperm, which he produced within an hour of her procedure.
In preparation for this most momentous event, she and Blaze had to abstain from intercourse for three or four days prior to him providing a specimen. Between them they decided to make it a full week; after all they were older than the usual couple who tried this procedure, and they wanted all the odds to be in their favor. For the more than a year that they’d been married, they’d never achieved abstinence for that period of time, so it was strange for them. They laughed at night at how randy they were as a couple, but they made sure nothing of Blaze’s was wasted before he contributed to the making of their baby.
While the fertilized eggs were observed to see if they would become embryos, she and Blaze flew off to Arizona to personally meet the surrogate mother, Jane. They had talked on the phone and discussed her undergoing the rigorous physicals. She had agreed. Upon arrival, they immediately liked her; she liked them. The details had been handled carefully and secretly by Aaron. They provided her with a round trip ticket to Dallas, luxury accommodations and treated her to dinner the few nights she was there.
She was a beautiful young woman, tall, medium-skinned with raven black hair twisted into a simulated Hopi knot at the nape of her neck. She was well-built and full-bosomed. Lynette wondered if she really could have gone along with Blaze having intercourse with another woman like Jane? Would the vision have haunted her for the rest of her life? Would she have always wondered how much pleasure Blaze enjoyed while impregnating a strange, voluptuous, young woman? She shook herself away from those thoughts. They were useless thoughts. No other woman was needed. She and Blaze would each give of their bodies to produce their child!
Jane was struggling toward a Master’s Degree in Nursing. She was ambitious and wanted to teach the science rather than work as a floor nurse for the rest of her life. In time, she wanted to become a Physicians Assistant, casually called a PA, in medical circles – the next step to a full medical doctor. She was realistic about this contract, and actually enjoyed being pregnant. She admitted that after Blaze and Lynette’s baby was born, she’d consider surrogacy at least one more time. That would give her money for a down payment on a new home. She was matter-of-fact about the entire process and assured them she would take care of her body and their baby. Jane had both phone numbers to call in case she needed anything, or if there was an emergency.
Four days after the in-vitro fertilization, two embryos were transferred into Jane’s uterus and she was subjected to hormone treatments for two weeks thereafter to increase the possibility of implantation. The first attempted implantation did not work. That was the risk, they all knew it. So after another month, the procedure was again attempted. Again, it was a failure. There was a third attempt, and the doctors cautioned that the procedure just might not work for them. This time it took, however, and the baby that Blaze wanted and Lynette would love, began to grow in Jane’s womb.
Blaze was so wholly sexual. On the night of the first attempted implantation, Blaze wined and dined Lynette, as if he were wooing her. Then he took her to bed and made love to her with excruciating passion. He wanted to partake of the “impregnating of his wife,” and Lynette was a willing partner in this beautiful fantasy.
When the second implantation was done, he repeated the effort to “impregnate” Lynette. He wanted so badly to be a part of the giving of life. She would go into his fantasy world with him – flow with the love and possibilities and lay next to him as if a child had been placed in her.
On the day of the third attempted implantation, he asked her to pretend that they were back in the little cabin on the reservation, and he made love to her off and on all day in the Dallas hotel room. In the throws of sweaty passion, he whispered to her that he would fill her body so full of him that nothing could escape. And when, ten days later they got the call that the pregnancy had begun, he winked at her and said, “It worked. I did it!”
They rejoiced at the coming of a new life into their world. They talked to their surrogate, Jane, at least twice a week and visited her about every six weeks. Though it was not part of the contract, Blaze handed her a check each time, to cover anything she might need, and with a coming semester, he gave her an additional check for her tuition. She was managing very well with this pregnancy and they always left Arizona happier than when they arrived.
Shopping for baby things was both strange and exciting for Lynette. It had been a quarter of a century since she had gathered together a layette for a child of her own. Oh, she’d put together dozens of small layettes for indigent women when she was a social worker, and that had been fun, but buying again for a child of her own was a bit unsettling. She was old enough to be a grandmother, and now she was starting all over again. Should she buy pink or blue clothes; no, green and yellow was more practical. Those colors were unisex and would do for a boy or a girl. Holding up tiny newborn infant size T-shirts in Walmart, she laughed out loud at the adventure ahead of them. JC Penny had nice quality infant clothes, so she made several trips into Albuquerque. When she came home each time, she sat on the couch showing Blaze all of the tiny garments she’d selected. Finding it humorous to be fingering knit booties and footed sleepers, they laughed a lot over the selections. Together they bought crib blankets, receiving blankets, sheets, comforters, bumper padding, diapers, lap pads and all those things that make you wonder why something so tiny needs so much paraphernalia! Every now and then a huge box would arrive at the front door, delivered by the UPS guy in brown shorts. Blaze was busy ordering things on the internet, for convenience sake as well as a surprise for his loving wife. That’s how the giant stroller arrived, the swing and the high chair! They’d talked about all the things they’d need and Blaze got right on it. Sometimes she’d hear him choke with laughter as he scrolled through websites designed for the upcoming event.
“Do you see the prices on these things?” he’d laugh, as he perused gifts given to movie stars from their equally wealthy friends. “That is so ridiculous,” he’d add with disdain. “Baby, I want little whats-its-name to have everything he needs, but this is just pure crap,” he’d utter, and then fall back into nasal laughter.
In late October, the phone rang in the wee hours of the night. Jane was in early labor. They were on the first plane out of Albuquerque the next morning. It was two more days before she’d actually deliver. Her labor stopped for awhile but Blaze and Lynette sat with her, laughing, joking and acting as if they were her parents. He walked the hallway outside her room like a worried husband when the nurses came in to check her progress. And though he and Lynette had talked at length about the possibility that their child might not be perfe
ct – there may have been a genetic mistake due to their ages, he did not worry because they had each other, and he had the love and the means to see that his child had the best of everything – no matter what.
The doctors urged the expectant parents to go to the hotel and let Jane sleep the first night. They left, but by 8 a.m the next morning, she was in full-blown labor and they ran through the corridors of the hospital, desperately trying to get to her side and let her know they were there for her. Blaze wiped her forehead with cool cloths, and Lynette alternately rubbed her hands, then her feet, which she knew was relaxing. She remembered a kind nurse doing that for her when she delivered Veronica. It worked then, and it seemed to help Jane relax in between contractions. They fed her chipped ice when her lips dried out and she listened to the music of Native songstresses through the ear phones of the portable CD player Blaze bought at the airport. Together they prayed for a speedy and safe delivery.
Jane’s labor was hard, but after twelve hours, she delivered a healthy 7 pound, 14 ounce baby boy. Blaze and Lynette were in the delivery room with her but, to be respectful and help preserve her dignity, Blaze modestly stayed at the head of the bed, ministering to her until the end. Lynette, on the other hand, was at her other end, watching her son’s first dark mat of hair peek out through the birth canal. She stood in awe at the miracle. She had borne two children, but she never saw them until the doctor laid each up onto her stomach. This time, she was privileged to watch every inch of her son present himself to the world. When Blaze Christopher Snowdown was born, he was cleaned and wrapped, and the nurse first started to hand the baby to Lynette. She nodded to her husband first and the somewhat confused nurse placed the baby into the arms of his father. He looked down into the face of his son and his face reflected back at him. He was overwhelmed with pride, with joy, and mostly with love. He gently placed the baby into Lynette’s arms and watched his lovely wife as she held her son – their son – for the first time. He could not speak; he did cry. Lynette’s tears streamed down on her face, and one dropped onto his little chin. He flinched as it did, and his eyes opened and looked up at her as if to say, “don’t cry Mama, I’m here now.” And even though his eyes could not focus yet, they rolled around in his face and wedged upward, looking toward Blaze when he spoke. They had, through the marvel of modern science, and the generosity of a beautiful Native woman, created a miracle. They offered to let Jane see the wonderful gift she had just given them, but she decided not to, after all, this was their baby – not hers. She had done her job.
Thunder In Her Body Page 35
