College had given Jessica a chance to escape and start over fresh. She didn’t know anyone, which gave her the opportunity to reinvent herself. She became more outgoing and was even able to make a few friends. Her roommate constantly gushed over Jessica and told her that with her long red hair and slim figure she was stunning. Jessica only saw herself as flat chested and too skinny, but eventually she started to believe her roommate and after a few dates, her confidence began to build. Unfortunately, her few dates didn’t hold a candle to Riley Matthews. Jessica had to wonder if her schoolgirl crush had the potential to turn into anything with him or if she was just wasting her time.
Jessica drove toward the house, determined to find out. She had a feeling she would regret it for the rest of her life if she didn’t at least take a chance with the man. She prayed things would work out with him. If they didn’t, she would definitely be heartbroken, but maybe she would be able to get some damn writing done.
* * * *
Riley hung up the phone with a huge grin on his face. Jessica was coming over and he couldn’t be happier. Now that he was finally finished with school and home for good, it was time to let Jessica know he wanted her. He had tried telling her so many times, but whenever he got close, she turned the other way, running like a scared little rabbit. He knew she was shy, but there had to be a way to get through to her. He just had to figure out his next move. She didn’t know that he knew her secret, so maybe he could use that to his advantage. He just didn’t know how yet.
It fascinated him that someone so shy could write such steamy romance novels. He had found out she wrote the novels by accident. He was at a bookstore one day and picked up one of the books by mistake when some guy walked up to him and started talking about how he used to date the author. The guy knew her real name, and by the time he got done describing her, Riley knew exactly who he was talking about. He didn’t believe it at first, so he blew the guy off and left the store without buying the book. There was no way shy, innocent, sweet Jessica wrote those types of books. The whole way home from Carlton though, he thought about her and how in high school she stayed to herself and was always writing in her notebook. She never went anywhere without it. What if it was true? What if she was really the author J. Red?
Riley wasn’t convinced of it until a few days later when he went into the library. As usual Jessica spoke and then stared at her feet. He wanted to ask her about the books but instead went to see if there were any on the shelf. He was surprised to actually find one and took it up to the counter to check it out. Jessica freaked and her whole face turned scarlet. She refused to let him have the book, coming up with some lame excuse that it was already reserved. Riley didn’t argue and left the library certain that Jessica was really J. Red the erotic romance author. He had to admit that it made him even more fascinated with her, and he was determined to get his hands on the books.
When Riley confided in Cane what he found out about Jessica, he learned that she had a few copies of the books and was willing to loan them to him. He ended up locked in his room for a few days with an extreme hard-on. The only word he could use to describe what she wrote was sexy. The stories were so detailed that all you had to do was close your eyes and it was like you were in the same room with the characters. To know that someone with Jessica’s shy personality had that much sexuality lurking inside of her was a real turn-on. He wondered if she would be as passionate as her characters in bed. Riley definitely wanted to be the one to find out.
He thought he was making progress at Cane and his brothers’ wedding. He stuck to her like glue the whole night. It was the first time he was able to get her to drop her guard and let him in for a little while. They had fun dancing, and he was able to get her to hold a conversation with him that was more than just stuttering or one-word answers. Not wanting to spook her, he chose to talk about mundane things and nothing personal. It wasn’t the time to let her know that he knew about her secret.
After the wedding, things went back to the way that had always been. Jessica put her walls back up, and Riley felt like he was starting from scratch trying to knock them down again. That was when he came up with the plan that he was working on now. He figured that if he was everywhere that she was, then maybe she would get used to being around him and open up. It was a simple plan with the potential to backfire on him, but he didn’t know what else to do. Either she would label him a stalker or she would get to know him better and feel more comfortable around him.
So far, it only seemed that Riley was succeeding in frustrating Jessica. He could see it on her face when she saw him coming, but he didn’t care. Any emotion he got from her was better than her running away. To him it meant that she was comfortable enough to show some emotion around him. It was progress as far as he was concerned. Now that she was on her way over to see Cane, Riley planned to see if he could get more than a few words out of her. Maybe he could invite her out to dinner. He decided to go find Cane and let her know Jessica was on the way. He would see if she could help him figure out what to do.
Cane was lying on the couch with her feet propped up. It was her usual spot these days with her pregnancy so far along. Riley sat down and propped her feet in his lap. Cane had quickly become one of his best friends when he was assigned to guard her from her ex. He still felt guilty that he wasn’t there for her the night that Sam came into town and tried to kill her and Ali. He should have been there. Instead he was at home locked in his room reading one of Jessica’s novels. Because of him Cane suffered needlessly and Ali was traumatized.
“I know what you are thinking and you can just get that thought right out of your head.” Cane frowned up at him.
“So, what, are you a mind reader now?” Riley asked, only half joking.
“No, I just know the look on your face. I have seen that face hundreds of time when I looked in the mirror. It was usually after I got done blaming myself for something Sam did. You have to know that what happened to me and Ali was no one’s fault but Sam’s. I don’t blame you for what happened and neither does anyone else. You have to learn to let the past stay in the past and move on. If you don’t, then you are in for a miserable life.”
Riley shrugged. “I know you’re right and I need to move on, it’s just hard to not think about what could have happened if things had gone differently or if Duncan and Logan were too late.”
“I know it’s hard, and I still catch myself thinking of what would have happened if I never escaped Sam. When it starts to get to you, you have to remind yourself that things turned out okay and everything is fine.” Cane struggled to sit up, so Riley helped her. “Now, I know you didn’t come in here to relive the past, so what’s up?”
It was just like Cane to try and cheer everyone up. Over the past few months, Riley had watched her come out of her shell. She always had a smile on her face and was willing to help everyone. She made it her mission to make everyone as happy as she was. She was the only one who knew how Riley felt about Jessica, and she was determined to make them a couple. Riley wasn’t complaining. He needed all the help he could get.
“I just got off the phone with Ali. She said Jessica stopped in for lunch and is on her way out here to see you. I was just wondering if you could help me with her. I have tried everything I can, but I don’t think any of it is working.” Cane nodded. Riley had to admit the grin that spread across her face kind of scared him.
“Oh, man, this is going to be so much fun. Finally something for me to do around here. It’s no fun being on lockdown.” Cane rubbed her hands together, causing Riley to wonder what he had gotten himself into.
Twenty minutes before Jessica arrived, Riley was freshly showered and shaved. He put on a brand-new pair of jeans and a T-shirt that according to Cane was tight enough to show off his muscles and make women drool. He knew he was the smallest of his brothers in size and height, but Riley had never received any complaints in the looks department. He wasn’t conceited, but it did sting his pride a little that Jessica was the fir
st woman he ever wanted that didn’t seem to fall at his feet. He was at a loss of what to do about it. That’s where Cane came in. She had no shame in using her pregnancy as an excuse to have to suddenly lie down in the middle of Jessica’s visit after she got her to agree to stay for dinner. Knowing Logan and Duncan, they would be concerned and stay by her side. Cane didn’t want her husbands to worry so unfortunately, Riley had to give her permission to let them in on his secret crush and the plan once they were in their room. Riley could already hear the endless teasing he was going to receive. If the plan worked, he would gladly suffer. Kerri was still recovering from her injuries, so she wasn’t able to leave the bed yet and Chase refused to leave her side. Ali was working late with Angel and Gavin guarding her. That meant that what was usually a family dinner was suddenly going to turn into a dinner for two.
Riley had everything set when he heard Jessica’s car pull up. He opened the door for her and had to hold back a laugh when she sighed and immediately looked at her feet.
“Good afternoon, Jessica. It’s good to see you again.”
“Hi, Riley,” Jessica said so low that he had to lean in close to hear her.
He decided not to push her to say more since he was going to ambush her later. “Come on, Cane is in the living room watching TV.” He placed his hand on the small of her back to guide her. He wanted to do a fist pump when he felt a shiver work its way up her spine and she sucked in a breath. If he wasn’t mistaken she pressed her back further in his hand instead of moving away. It was a small move on her part, but it was a start.
When he got to the living room, he wanted to laugh. Apparently Cane had already filled her husbands in on what was going on because she was stretched out on the couch while Logan and Duncan each took up a chair. Normally they all shared the couch with Cane in between them. That only left the smaller couch for him and Jessica to sit on together. Riley waited for her to sit and purposely sat close enough that his thigh was smashed up against hers. He felt Jessica stiffen, but she didn’t complain or try to move. Yes! So far so good.
The entire time Jessica and Cane talked, Riley tried to ignore the looks and snickers that Duncan and Logan were giving him. He couldn’t be upset that the teasing had already started because he was too focused on Jessica. He studied everything about her, from her long red hair that she always wore braided down her back to her sweet scent. She smelled like brown sugar and vanilla. The scent made him want to lick her from head to toe to see if she tasted as sweet as she smelled. She was thin almost to the point of being too skinny, but it turned Riley on. He saw her as delicate and feminine. The clothes he always saw her in fit the image of the stereotypical librarian. She either wore long skirts or dress slacks with collared shirts or sweaters. He wondered what she would look like in simple jeans and a T-shirt, or better yet, with nothing on at all.
From that point on, Riley’s thoughts progressed further into the gutter. He wondered what Jessica would look like under him, on top of him, on her knees in front of him with those aqua eyes of hers looking up at him. They all seemed to lead to one conclusion, him inside her until they didn’t know where he ended and she began.
His thoughts were interrupted when Duncan cleared his throat. He raised an eyebrow at Riley and nodded toward his crotch. Looking down, Riley was startled to see that he had an obvious erection tenting his jeans. Cane and Jessica were caught up in conversation and were oblivious to what was going on, but Logan and Duncan were trying their best not to laugh. He grimaced and reached down to adjust himself. That set Logan off, and he started laughing out loud, causing Duncan to lose it. Riley was able to grab a throw pillow and place it in his lap before Jessica got an eyeful of his obvious arousal. Cane looked over at her two men to see what was going on, and he had no doubt that before the end of the night, she too would know how much just being near Jessica affected him. He was just glad Jessica didn’t seem to catch on to what was going on. He would have been totally humiliated if she knew that just sitting next to her caused him to almost come in his jeans.
Cane used the distraction as an opportunity to fake her illness. She complained that she needed to lie down, and of course her husbands sobered up quickly and rushed her off to bed. Cane was able to yell over Logan’s shoulder that Jessica might as well stay for dinner since she was already there and had promised. Riley was going to have to come up with a way to thank Cane for her help. Although a little reluctant for Riley’s tastes, Jessica agreed to stay. She had that deer-in-a-headlight look when it finally hit her that they were alone together, and he knew he needed to do something to get her to relax. He could hear the gears turning in her head as she tried to come up with a reason to leave. He wasn’t going to let that happen since it was the first time he had her alone since Cane’s wedding. He was tired of her running. Who knew when he would get another chance? He knew the night would go a lot smoother if she felt comfortable around him so he placed a hand at the small of her back, ignoring her when she jumped, and led her to the kitchen.
“Come on, you can keep me company while I cook.” He sat Jessica at the table and went the refrigerator to grab two beers. He handed her one without another word and turned to start dinner.
Riley’s hope was that his silence and the beer would go a long way in relaxing Jessica. He was glad that he was correct when he saw her shoulders gradually relax as she watched him move around the kitchen. He made his favorite meal, chicken Alfredo with garlic bread, and fixed both their plates. Jessica leaned over and sniffed her plate then he waited as she took her first bite.
“Oh man, this is delicious. How did you learn to cook like this?” She moaned.
Just like that his hard-on was back. It took him a minute to think with all the blood rushing from his head to his cock, but he was finally able to answer her. “My mom taught me when I was little. She wanted all the kids to be able to take care of themselves if something happened to her.”
Every time Riley thought about his parents he was a little saddened. The car accident took them unexpectedly, and he missed them a lot. He was grateful for everything his mom and dad had taught them. He didn’t think he and his brothers and sister would have made it after the accident if their parents hadn’t taught them to be independent. They also taught them to stick together and be each other’s best friends. It was why they got along so well.
“I would have loved to have a mom that did things like that for me when I was younger.” Jessica interrupted his trip down memory lane.
He was shocked she’d even mentioned her mother. It was the first time that he ever heard anything about the woman. He didn’t think anyone in town knew anything about Jessica’s past. She just showed up one day, and Mrs. Garrison took her in, no questions asked. He didn’t want to spook her into not talking again, but he had to ask, “I’ve never heard you talk about your mom. What was she like?”
Riley didn’t think she was going to answer the question until he realized she didn’t look scared, just thoughtful. He stayed quiet and let her answer when she was ready.
“My mom wasn’t really a mom. She ‘checked out,’ as I liked to call it, a long time ago. She suffered from severe depression more often than not. I never met my dad, and to be honest, I don’t think she even knew who it was. With her being a single mom, I think she saw me as a responsibility that she didn’t need or want so she only did enough to get by. When she thought I was old enough to take care of myself, which in her eyes was around four, she began leaving me alone for long periods of time. She would put me in my room with the TV on and leave food for me to eat then she would disappear. A first it was a few hours, but as I got older, it became days.”
Jessica paused and took a few bites of her pasta before she continued. “It wasn’t all bad. There were days when she would wake me up, and we would go to the park or to the movies and just hang out all day. Those were good days. Then there were times when she would go days at a time in her room crying for no apparent reason. I didn’t know what was wrong with her, a
nd I didn’t tell anyone because I was scared they would take me away. Finally when I was about eight, she woke me up one day after she had been locked in her room for about a week and told me to get dressed. I thought, ‘Finally it’s going to be a fun day.’ Instead, she had a backpack packed and put me on a bus with a note. I came here to a grandmother that I had never met and who didn’t even know I existed.”
Riley was appalled and outraged that someone could treat a child that way. He knew unconditional love and support growing up. He couldn’t imagine what Jessica went through.
“God, Jessica, you were just a baby. How could someone treat you that way?” He was amazed when Jessica reached over and patted his hand.
“Hey, it’s okay. My grandmother, bless her heart, only shook her head after reading the note and ushered me into the house and straight into the kitchen complaining that I was too skinny and needed to eat. At first I was angry and thought that was the worst day of my life. As I got older, I realized that my mom actually did what was best for me. Her stepping up and sending me away was the first act as a responsible parent she had ever made, and it was the best one. Now I look back at that day as the best day of my life.”
Riley sat back in his seat and stared at her. Jessica was truly an amazing woman. Here she was telling him about her shitty past and instead of him comforting her, she was trying to console his anger over what happened to her. That was one of the things he loved about her, her compassion. She never met a stranger, and she went out of her way to make others feel better. When Cane was recovering from her injuries, Jessica took the time at least twice a week to bring books to a woman she hardly knew. She simply did it so that Cane wouldn’t be bored. It was little things like that that made him fall for her.
This was the first real conversation that they had, and Riley didn’t want it to end, so he asked, “Have you talked to your mom since you came here?”
Innocent Secrets [Pine Valley 3] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 2
