She shook her head. ‘Because I can’t have someone in my life who is ashamed of me. I’m done being ashamed of myself. I’ve made mistakes, sure, but...’ She took a breath. ‘That’s not who I am any more. And I can’t have you reminding me at every turn what an embarrassment I am.’
He winced at the reminder. ‘When I said...I didn’t mean to...’
‘Yes. You did.’
‘You weren’t exactly complimentary to me, either,’ he pointed out, and she sighed.
‘Look, Dominic, it’s okay. Really. We knew each other for, what, a week? It’s crazy to think it was anything more than a flirtation. We barely even made it to fling status. It was a one-night stand. Yes, things ended badly, but it’s over. You don’t have to check up on me, try to help me. You don’t even have to feel guilty about the things you said. It’s over. We just...move on.’
It was all perfectly reasonable. Almost as if she did this sort of thing all the time. Rational, even. The sort of sensible argument he’d normally be the one putting forward, not her.
The only problem was, it was a lie.
Whatever had been between them in that week, it was more than a flirtation. More than a fling, even if they never made it past one night together before everything fell apart. And it meant more to him than she could possibly know.
But the most untrue part of all was something he’d been lying to himself about, right up until the moment he saw that tilted chin, the pride in her warm hazel eyes.
He couldn’t move on. He needed her in his life. No matter what her past, or who she was. No matter what the papers would say, or his mother’s friends, or anyone else.
He needed her. Even more than he wanted her.
Now he just had to convince her of that.
‘Dominic?’ she asked, and he realised he was staring at her.
‘Sorry. Just...thinking.’
She shook her head. ‘You think too much. Look, I mean it. You can go.’
He didn’t want to. But he needed time. He needed a plan.
Across the field, the burly guy with the tape measure beckoned to her.
‘That’s Jack,’ she said. ‘He’s helping me with the estate. I’ve got to go. Thanks, though. For coming and talking to me. It’s good to...’ she let out a breath ‘...I don’t know. Have closure, maybe.’
‘Closure is good,’ Dominic agreed. If she wanted to think that this was it, that this was the end for them, fine. It would make it all the more fun to prove her wrong.
Faith bit her lip, then jerked forward suddenly, wrapping her arms around him for a very brief moment. Her body felt stiff, unsure—so unlike the way she’d melted against him in the park at almost midnight, or the way she’d come apart in his arms in bed that night.
A clear sign that this was just not the way it was meant to be.
‘Take care of yourself,’ she said, stepping back. ‘And...I don’t know. Try not to overthink things. And loosen up, sometimes, yeah?’ She sounded as if she thought she’d never see him again.
‘I will,’ he promised, watching her walk backwards away from him. His heart hurt just to watch her go, but he held firm. He had to do this properly. He had to find a way to convince her that it didn’t matter who she was, where she’d been, what she’d done, or how she might ever embarrass or humiliate him in the future. He loved her. And none of the rest was worth anything, without her.
‘Faith?’
She paused. ‘Yeah?’
‘One more thing. What really happened? With you and that rock star?’
‘Jared?’ Her eyebrows shot up. ‘Didn’t you learn everything you needed to about that from the papers?’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t believe them. You wouldn’t do that.’
She bit her lip and he wanted to kiss her, so very badly. ‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘It wasn’t what it looked like. His wife had just walked out on him, taken the kids, and he’d got himself into a hell of a state at some club. He called me—we were friends, before everything that happened. I picked him up, got him back to his hotel and spent the night sobering him up and listening to him wail about his life. I was taking him home to call his wife and beg her for another chance when they took the photos.’ She looked up at him. ‘Satisfied?’
‘Yes,’ he said. He should have known. Should have trusted her. She thought she was a scandal, but really...she was just his Faith. And, for the first time, it didn’t matter what anyone else believed about her. ‘And thank you. For telling me the truth.’
She shrugged. ‘It’s a new thing I’m trying. And tell your sister to stop checking up on me, yeah?’ Faith added with a grin as she walked away. ‘I’m fine.’
Sylvia. She’d help him fix this. Of course she’d also tease and probably hit him, but he could take it.
‘Trust me,’ he said, smiling at Faith as he climbed back into his car. ‘I’m going to go have a long talk with my sister. Right now.’
* * *
Faith turned, halfway across the field, and watched his car as it pulled away, trying to ignore the emptiness that threatened to fill her. She’d see him again, she knew. If she was staying at Fowlmere, in society, it was inevitable. But they’d never be just Dominic and Faith again. She’d never get to take him to see the pelicans or eat at Lola’s. She’d never feel his lips against hers, or his body over her.
She’d never get to tell him that she loved him. And she’d given up any chance of ever hearing him say it back.
Loss coursed over her in waves, as if she’d lost her whole life, her whole future, instead of just one man.
It was for the best, she reminded herself, wiping away the tears that dampened her cheeks. She didn’t even know if he wanted more—certainly not after everything that had happened. How could she possibly work alongside him, day after day, without giving into the desperate desire for him? And how could she let him help her when she knew he’d be putting his professional and personal reputation on the line to do so?
There was a chance that her plan to save Fowlmere would fail. She wasn’t stupid; she knew that. And she couldn’t let everything that Dominic had worked for at Beresford be dragged down with it.
Besides, like she’d told him, she was done being ashamed. Done with seeking a place in a world that didn’t fit her. She was making her own place, and Dominic Beresford could never understand something like that.
No, this was the perfect ending. A little bittersweet, sure. But they both knew it was the right thing, they had closure, they’d said goodbye.
Now she could move on with her life.
Without the man she loved.
With a shuddering breath, Faith called out to Jack. ‘Okay. What’s next?’
* * *
‘You want to do what?’ Sylvia screeched to a halt in the middle of the pavement when Dominic announced his intention. He smiled apologetically at the irritated pedestrians who crashed into them.
‘Marry Faith,’ he said again, his voice calm. It was strange how, once you figured out what needed to be done, the doubt and the worry faded away. All that mattered now was the plan. The right steps he needed to take to make her say yes. ‘I’m pretty sure it was your suggestion, actually.’
‘I said you were in love with her! I figured you’d date her first. Like a sane person.’
Dominic shook his head. ‘It has to be all or nothing.’
‘Why?’
‘Because she won’t say yes to anything else. Actually, she probably won’t say yes to this. Which is why I have to get it exactly right.’
Sylvia stared at him, sighed, then started walking again. ‘You know, when you said we should go shopping, I was hoping for something more in a shoe line.’
‘You don’t want to help me choose a ring?’
That changed her mood. ‘Yes. Absolute
ly I do. You’re bound to get it wrong without me.’
‘So you are in favour of my plan.’
Sylvia lifted a hand and wobbled it from side to side. ‘Maybe.’
‘How can I convince you?’
Halting in front of the first jewellers shop on the row, Sylvia paused with her finger on the doorbell. ‘Tell me why you’re doing this.’
Dominic considered. It was one thing to know it was the right move in his head, another to articulate exactly why. Finally, when it became clear they weren’t going anywhere until he answered, he said, ‘I love her. I’m pretty sure she loves me. I know, in my heart, we belong together.’
‘So ask her out. Go for dinner. Take it slow.’
Dominic shook his head. ‘Won’t cut it. Slow means...it means her worrying I’m going to end things if she does something I find embarrassing. It means leaving an escape route, a way out if she leaves me. A way to pretend it didn’t matter. And it means leaving open the chance that we can walk away if things get hard. It means stories and rumours and whispers designed to try and split us up. And it doesn’t show her how I feel. That it doesn’t matter who she is, what she does, any of it. As long as she’s with me. I’ll take any risk—even the risk of her leaving—if she’ll give me a chance.’
‘A lot of those things can still happen, even if you’re married,’ Sylvia pointed out. ‘In fact, there’ll probably be more talk if you just rush in like this.’
‘I don’t care,’ Dominic said. ‘It won’t matter.’
‘Because you’ll have your ring on her finger.’
‘Because she’ll be my wife,’ Dominic amended. ‘Exactly.’
Sylvia rang the bell. ‘Then we’d better go choose you one.’
‘Thank you,’ Dominic said, grinning. ‘For helping.’
‘Oh, you’re going to need my help with a lot more than this,’ Sylvia said as the jeweller came and opened the door. ‘Have you even thought about how you’re going to propose?’
Dominic smiled. ‘Trust me. That part I’ve got covered.’
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
IT HAD BEEN a week. One whole long, boring week since they said goodbye. Faith had tried to keep busy, knowing that the only way she was going to get over Dominic was by stopping thinking about him. When she was knee-deep in dusters, polish and tarnished brass, it was harder to remember nights in luxury hotel suites, working together, both watching for a sign of something more...
No. Work was the thing. She couldn’t daydream when she was discussing the estate plans with Jack, or working with her parents to clear decades’ worth of junk from the attics. Jack had the first round of potential investors visiting at the end of the month—and she had tons of work to do before then.
Work was the way forward. Not worrying about her parents, who seemed a little saner every day. Not thinking about Dominic, who was gone. Not even wondering why Sylvia kept ringing. Faith ignored the calls. She’d moved on. She had closure. No point ruining all that now.
Except it seemed Sylvia wasn’t very good at taking a hint.
‘Sylvia!’ Faith said, hopping down the steps of Fowlmere Manor to meet the car. ‘I wasn’t expecting you.’
‘That’s because you don’t answer your phone any more. I’ve come to take you down to town for the day.’
Faith groaned inside. ‘That’s very kind of you, but I’ve got a lot on here at the moment...’
‘Exactly why you need a day off! Come on, we can go shopping again.’
Faith didn’t have especially fond memories of their last shopping trip, but she did like Sylvia and she really didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Besides, she did need a new suit for the investors meeting...
‘I’ve got Dominic’s credit card,’ Sylvia said, waving the card temptingly.
‘I don’t need that.’ Faith was pretty sure there was a little bit of room left on her own.
‘Just jump in,’ Sylvia urged, and Faith gave up the fight.
‘Okay. Let me just settle up a few things here...’
With hindsight, she should have been more suspicious from the start. If not then, certainly when Sylvia drove them straight to the Greyfriars Hotel for their lunch. But Sylvia kept chatting about nothing and keeping everything light and unimportant, so Faith’s suspicions only really started to grow when they stepped outside at the exact same moment a red double-decker tour bus pulled up.
‘What fun! A tour!’ Even Sylvia didn’t manage to not sound fake at that one.
‘What’s going on?’ Faith said, rounding on Dominic’s sister.
‘I’ve always wanted to take a London bus tour,’ Sylvia said, obviously lying. ‘Come on, you can be my tour guide! You can stand up front with the microphone and everything.’
‘They normally hire someone in to do that,’ Faith said as Sylvia dragged her up the bus steps and grabbed the microphone from its stand, handing it to her. ‘Besides, it’s been years since I did a bus tour. I’ve probably forgotten everything...’
She trailed off. She wasn’t suspicious any more. Because she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she’d been set up.
Lord Dominic Beresford sat in the bus driver’s seat.
‘What are you—’ The words echoed around the bus and she fumbled for the off switch on the microphone. ‘What are you doing here?’ she whispered.
Dominic grinned at her. ‘Sylvia’s always wanted to take one of these tours. So I commandeered a tour bus. We figured you could do the guide bit for old times’ sake.’ As if that were the most normal thing in the world.
Faith glanced back. A bus full of tourists stared at her, cameras and guidebooks at the ready. ‘For the love of... You stole a tour bus? You? Lord Beresford?’
‘Borrowed,’ Dominic corrected. Starting the engine, he checked his mirrors and put the bus in gear. ‘You remember that night you showed me your London?’
As if she could ever forget. ‘Yes.’
‘Well, today I’m going to show you mine.’ The bus pulled away from the kerb. ‘Come on, tour guide, aren’t you supposed to be talking into that thing?’
Faith stared at the microphone in her hand. ‘I don’t know where we’re going.’
‘Yes you do,’ Dominic said, and started to drive.
* * *
Dominic wiped the palm of his hand against his trousers before grabbing the steering wheel again. In his pocket, the hard lump of the ring box dug into him, a sharp-edged reminder of exactly what craziness he was pursuing. Oh, not the proposal, exactly. That, he was certain about. But the method... How had he thought this was a good idea?
Maybe it wasn’t. But it was the only chance he had of convincing Faith he was serious. If nothing else, she couldn’t worry about his fear of embarrassment any longer. Nothing she could ever do could humiliate him more than what he was about to do. Especially since he suspected his sister would be secretly filming the whole thing to share with the Internet.
Beside him, Faith had begun her tour, talking in only a slightly wobbly voice about the landmarks they passed. He’d decided to start off with the usual tour route, down past St Paul’s and Fleet Street before he detoured over the river after the Tower of London. Faith still knew this route backwards, she’d told him on their tour of her London, and, for now, he was happy to let her talk, feel comfortable. As if this really was an official tour with an unusual driver.
‘The Tower of London has a long and varied history,’ Faith said, and Dominic risked a glance out of his window at the landmark. Maybe he’d take her there one day, just to listen to her get excited abou
t the stories the building could tell. ‘Most notably, of course, it’s known as the site of the murder of the princes in the tower...’
Not romantic enough, Dominic decided. Time to start the plan properly.
Swinging the bus over to the other lane, he headed for the bridge over the Thames, ignoring Faith’s murmured protest. Then, as they crossed over the water, she put her hand over the microphone. ‘You’re going the wrong way.’
‘I’m really not.’
‘They usually go along to Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament next,’ she argued.
Dominic flashed her a smile. ‘Trust me. I know exactly where we’re going. Now, give me the microphone.’
‘What?’ She grabbed it closer to her chest at his request.
‘Put it on the stand there so I can talk into it,’ he said, nodding towards the steering wheel.
‘What are you going to say?’ she asked, but she did install the microphone as he’d asked.
‘I’m not a hundred per cent sure yet,’ Dominic admitted. ‘But I’m sure I’ll figure it out as I go along.’
* * *
Figure it out as he went along. Faith was pretty sure Dominic had never figured out anything as he went along. The man liked to have a plan. A fixed, unchanging, reputation-saving plan. So what on earth was he doing?
Sinking down into the guide’s chair at the front of the bus, hands gripping the arm rests too tightly, she waited to find out.
‘Hello, everyone. I’m your driver, Dominic. I’m afraid that today’s tour is going to be taking a little bit of a detour. You see, not very long ago, your tour guide, Faith, introduced me to a side of London—and a side of myself—I’d never seen before. Then, for reasons we really don’t need to get into, but suffice to say it was mostly my fault, she left me here alone in this big city. And now I want to show her my London, and how it looks without her.’
Faith’s cheeks burned at his words. She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t even acknowledge what he was saying. Was he trying to humiliate her? Was this some sort of ridiculous revenge? No. This was Dominic. Whatever might have happened between them, he wouldn’t do that to her.
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