“That’s the problem, Liv,” he said, looking at her. “I do feel the same way.”
Her eyes blinked to the point of fluttering. “Well but–”
“But I’m the go-between, the intercessor,” he said firmly, as though he were trying to remember the fact. “I’m the impartial one in the middle.” He shrugged. “At least I’m supposed to be.”
“But if you…love me–”
He shook his head. “I can’t, Liv,” he said, biting off the words. “I can’t. It’s wrong.” His voice was so strained.
“Is this a rules thing? Because if it’s rules–”
He shook his head again, slowly. “No, it’s not a rules thing. It’s just the way that shamanic power and my skills as an intercessor work. Most intercessors are simply shaman go-betweens, business people who mediate arrangements between shamans and clients. Hopefully they’re people who’ve gotten into the business because they have a sensitivity to the work. For people like me though…”
He looked back out the windshield and his eyes seemed to be following the rivulets of rain that ran down it. He shrugged.
“I don’t understand,” Livvy said. “People like you?”
“I was born with a talent, same as you. In different cultures I’m called different things: water baby, master of animals, or simply the dwarf. When I work with a shaman, I’m more than a go-between–all dwarfs are. We have the ability to amplify a shaman’s talent.”
“You amplify–” Livvy repeated, trying to understand. “Wait a minute. Do you amplify my power?”
He turned back to her. “Not often, but yes.”
A thousand questions ran through her mind: Which healings? How does it work? How much amplification?
But only one question was important right now.
“Why can’t we be–”
“Not we. Me. It only works if I’m in the middle, in balance. I can’t become…attached…to any one shaman.” He considered that for a moment and shook his head. “But that’s exactly what I’ve done, in more ways than one. I can hardly deny it now.”
He clenched his jaw and she watched as he took in a deep breath and slowly let it go.
He opened the car door.
“SK, please…”
He paused but didn’t turn around. “I’ve got to go, Liv,” he said. Then he got out and closed the door.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
LIVVY SNIFFED, CAUSING Nacho to freeze and stare at her as though she’d yelled. She smiled a little before reaching for the tissue. She’d been crying on and off since she got home. The pretty green dress was a lump on the floor on top of the perfect shoes. She’d immediately switched to the flannel comfort pajamas and gotten into bed. Nacho had hovered around her the entire time.
Now he sprawled on his back while Livvy scratched his stomach. The little tabby was lying in her lap, in the soft, aqua-colored, chenille hammock created by the bedspread over her crossed legs.
Her eyes drifted over to the altar in the corner of the room as they often did when she was here. It had been a while since she’d added anything to it. Even so, it was three tiers tall and crowded. Like every other shaman Livvy had ever met, she had collected items of ritual or religious significance since she could remember. The objects were drawn from all sorts of religions in nearly every part of the globe. As always, she focused on the items of the top tier, the gifts she’d received from her shaman friends: the sage bundle from Alvina, the small vodun doll from Ursula, the mala beads from Wan Li, and the kachina doll of Tawa from…she didn’t know who. It had simply appeared with the other objects and she’d assumed it was from the Nahual, although that didn’t really make sense, since the Nahual was from Central America and Tawa was a pueblo god.
With his one foot raised in dance and his enormous shield-like face turned toward her, she frowned at him. More and more she found herself worrying about solo trips to the Multiverse and more and more she thought of Tawa. She knew, even at this moment, why her eyes lingered on him yet again. She looked back down at Nacho who was limp in her lap, still on his back, still enjoying scratches. Livvy sighed and wiped her nose with the tissue.
Only the small Tiffany lamp on the nightstand was on, and the curtains were drawn in front of the sliding glass door. Although she couldn’t hear the light rain, she heard the runoff dripping in a metal gutter.
“What a botched date,” she whispered.
What an evening.
Oh gods, the look on SK’s face when she said she loved him.
A few tears slipped down her cheek, and one fell onto Nacho’s stomach. He immediately patted the spot with his paw, as though he might have trapped something, and took a quick peek.
“Sorry, Nacho,” she said, rubbing the warm soft fur there.
As bad as the restaurant had been, his reaction in the car had been worse.
You couldn’t have worked up to it? Somehow let him see it coming? Maybe asked him on a second date?
“Oh stop it,” she muttered. “Stop going over it. It was done.”
Her eyes landed on the silver goggles on her nightstand.
SK had said no Multiverse, when he was still talking to her, that is. No Multiverse, until he could find out who those shamans were. The last time in the Underworld, though, she had been very close to making the summoning work. She’d have pulled it off except for being interrupted. They had fled immediately when she’d called down lightning. They might not come back so quickly–if there even was a next time. Maybe they’d never show up again.
Livvy stared at the goggles and felt a tiny pat on her hand from Nacho. She had stopped scratching. She gently rubbed him with the one hand but picked up her goggles with the other. Nacho looked up at the shiny silver of them but was quickly bored and looked away.
Sk had said no Multiverse, but he didn’t know what was at stake. He didn’t know how much he was asking. She leaned back toward the nightstand and opened the drawer. Nacho rolled out of her lap and into a standing position.
Livvy withdrew the small leather pouch and felt the artifacts inside clunk together.
Later, she promised herself. She would explain everything to SK later.
• • • • •
Livvy couldn’t help but glance around the plaza one more time. The fountain gurgled, clouds filled the sky, and the tall buildings towered. A spirit helper in the shape of a tortoise wandered by in the distance, while a baboon strolled in the opposite direction. An ancestor spirit dressed in long robes and some type of tall, cylindrical hat crossed in the middle of the plaza. The Underworld looked as it always had.
Then why does it feel so different? Guilt?
She shook off the uneasy feeling, crouched down and opened the leather pouch. As before, she placed each of the artifacts on the ground, drove the kila knife into the pavement, and finished with her mother’s engagement ring on top of the crystal pyramid.
That should do it.
She stood and scanned the plaza, unable to stop herself. Both times the dark-haired shaman had shown up there’d been no sign. Whatever she was doing to find her, Livvy was not able to see it coming.
She focused on the small arrangement at her feet then looked up to the sky.
No time to waste.
She thrust up a hand toward the boiling and swirling mass of dark clouds. “Lightning,” she said.
The glowing bolt shot down and landed with a crash on her hand. Livvy felt the tingle and buzz of the energy flow through her as it rushed toward the ground. She raised her other hand while still channeling the energy and pointed at the tip of the pyramid. A thin arc of electricity leaped between her finger and the clear crystal, causing it to glow. In moments, a beam of purple light erupted from its tip and shot upward. Livvy followed it with her gaze and saw a faint purple circle of light on the underside of the clouds above. She looked back down at the source of the beam.
“Elizabeth Lawson, I summon you!” she yelled.
There was an enormous and elongated peal of thunder as t
he beam brightened. Slowly, as the lightning that Livvy channeled from the sky intensified, the beam grew even more brilliant. Her hair floated in the static and her teeth vibrated from the energy, but she kept her hands in place.
There, in the most radiant part of the purple light, at the tip of the tiny pyramid, a ghostly figure emerged. Small at first, it steadily grew taller and also more substantial, expanding to fill the widening beam. Although the figure was facing away from her, Livvy could see that it was a woman and that she was blond.
The ground at Livvy’s feet sizzled and blackened as the energy poured through her. The charred blackness seeped toward the artifacts but stopped short of the kila dagger. Heat was building up around her ankles and spreading up her calves. It was becoming difficult to breathe.
The beam from the pyramid cast a shimmering lavender light onto every building that bordered the plaza. It was as though a small purple sun had risen near the fountain. All of the spirit helpers and ancestor spirits turned to look, their faces awash in the strange light. Beings who normally took no notice of shamans or each other now stood still and watched.
As Livvy looked at them, she realized her vision was starting to blur. No wait, not blur. Her eyes, her whole body was actually vibrating with the sustained lightning strike. Even through the tremors, though, she could see someone in front of her, someone who was no longer ghostly but solid. Like the others in the plaza around her, Livvy watched as that person stepped out of the beam.
Livvy dropped her arms to her sides, exhausted and out of breath. Gods, she had never sustained lightning for so long. She bent over to keep from falling and tried to catch her breath.
“Livvy?” she heard a familiar voice say.
Livvy froze as a sudden pang of recognition flooded through her. As often as she’d dreamt of this moment and had visualized it from every angle, she had never thought of hearing her mother’s voice.
“Mom,” she whispered, slowly straightening up.
Only a few feet away, almost close enough to touch, stood her mom. Stunned, Livvy could only stare. Her mom’s eyes were searching her own. Then, she tilted her head in just that certain way Livvy remembered all too well.
“Livvy, it is you!” She began to smile and hold out her arms but then stopped. “But how are you…Oh gods. Livvy, are you–”
“No, no, no,” Livvy stammered. “No, Mom, I’m not dead.” She took in a deep breath. “I’ve summoned you.”
Livvy watched as her mom tried to understand. First, she looked down at the small group of artifacts on the ground. Then she looked at the ancestor spirits and animal helpers, who were still staring. As her mom turned her head, Livvy stared at a glint of light in her green eyes, the same exact color as her own.
“Oh no, Livvy,” said her mom as realization dawned. “What have you done?”
Livvy couldn’t help but wince. “I needed to talk to you?” she said.
Her mom looked into her face and her eyes softened, and then she smiled and held out her arms. “Oh I know, honey,” she said. “Come here.”
Livvy immediately closed the distance and fell into her arms. “Mom!” she said and immediately choked up. She buried her face in her mom’s shoulder.
“Ah, my poor baby,” her mother said. “I know. I know.” She rubbed Livvy’s back and kissed her hair.
“I missed you,” Livvy managed to get out.
“I’ve missed you too, honey. Here, let me get a good look at you.”
Livvy wiped her eyes, sniffed and stood back.
Her mother beamed at her and moved a strand of hair at her forehead. “That’s my girl,” she said smiling. “All grown up.” Her eyes lingered on the hair and she touched it. “I like it.”
Livvy gave a small laugh.
Then her mother’s face became serious. “We have a lot to talk about,” her mom said, lightly grasping her arms. Then she frowned. “Livvy, honey, you’re trembling.”
Whether it was the exhaustion from the lightning strike or the emotion of the moment, Livvy didn’t know, but she hadn’t stopped shaking since the summoning.
Her mother noticed the artifacts on the ground and the scorched pavement next to them.
“Livvy, how long have you been here?”
“Just a little while,” said Livvy quickly. “I can stay a bit longer.”
Her mother shook her head. “You know the rules, honey. You delay–”
“You stay,” Livvy finished, then realized what they’d said.
“But Mom, how do you–”
“Next time, honey. Seriously, I’m worried about you.”
“But Mom,” Livvy whimpered.
More than anything she wanted to stay–be with her mom, look at her, listen to her–but the sustained lightning strike had been more difficult than she wanted to admit.
“Olivia,” said her mom, using the warning tone that always accompanied her proper name.
Livvy sighed.
“I’ll be here when you get back,” her mom reassured her and glanced around the plaza. Then she looked back at Livvy and smiled. “There’s time for talk later. Really, honey, it’s going to be all right.”
Livvy felt a lightness in her chest as though a great weight were lifting, a burden she had never acknowledged and yet had carried for years, but she knew her mom was right.
“Okay,” she finally said.
She bent down to gather the items back into the leather pouch but swayed a bit with a slight sensation of vertigo. Hoping that her mom hadn’t noticed, she crouched down and started putting the artifacts into the bag, but something was missing.
“What happened to your ring?” Livvy said.
“Oh,” exclaimed her mom. “Looks like I’m wearing it.”
Livvy looked up to see her mom gazing down at the engagement ring on her finger. Even without the wedding ring, it looked right.
Livvy put the remaining items into the pouch and carefully stood. They looked at each other for several long moments until her mother gently took her by the arms and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.
“I’ll be fine, honey,” she said. “Take your time. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Okay Mom,” said Livvy, automatically returning the kiss. She already couldn’t wait.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“DAMMIT!” SK SAID as he slammed the front door. He spun around to glare at the dark front room of his condo.
“Dammit!” He paused, hands on hips as he lowered his head.
“I’ve got to go?” he mimicked himself. “That’s all you can think to say!”
Like a pitcher with a wicked sidearm, he hurled his keys at the couch and they buried themselves with a thud between the cushions.
He stalked to the panoramic window on the other side of the living room. Through the rainy darkness, the lights along the boardwalk gave off an eerie glow. There was no moon in the sky and some of the shops and concession stands on the pier had already shut down for the evening. He closed his eyes, not seeing the dark landscape anyway. Instead, he saw the restaurant.
He leaned his forehead on the cool glass. Every man in the restaurant would have traded places with him in a heartbeat. Any one of them would have been thrilled to hear the words that she’d said to him.
Particularly that one word.
He squeezed his eyes even tighter against the sound of her voice.
She had laid her heart on the line and he…he had pushed it away.
He banged his head on the glass. Everything had seemed to be going so well. It felt so good to be with her and not on a job.
He should have seen it coming.
He raised his head and saw himself in the glass. “Oh come on,” he challenged his reflection. “You did know and you lapped it up, you ass.” You let her put herself out there when you already knew you couldn’t–or wouldn’t.
He turned away from the window unable to look at himself.
His eyes landed on the couch, the place where she had slept–was it only a year ago�
�when her place had been vandalized. Ursula, Alvina and the rest of the shamans had called him on his feelings for Liv even then. They needed him in the center and in balance. He was their intercessor and the one who stood between the power of shamans and the power of the Multiverse. He had been born to his role in the same way shamans were born to theirs. In that role, he had become the most powerful broker and intercessor in recent memory.
Then came Liv.
He went over and sat down on the couch, touching the spot where she’d been.
Liv had changed everything. She had risked her life for her clients. She had allied with other shamans. She had created the first network of goggles and been the first shaman in thousands of years to actually work with others in the Multiverse.
SK looked back in the direction of the pier.
The network of goggles.
Now someone else was trying to do the same thing, but that someone was trying to hurt her. He stood and paced back to the window. He didn’t know who they were and how they were doing it but he was going to find out–and quickly. They might be flying under the radar but someone somewhere would have to know something. There wasn’t time to canvas the city, though. He needed a shortcut. Luckily, he had one. Once it was morning, he knew where he would start.
Until then, there would probably be no sleep. He exhaled loudly, put his hands in his pockets and stared into the blackness of the Pacific Ocean. Although the view hadn’t changed, his world had.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I TOOK OFF my goggles didn’t I?
Yes, I distinctly remember taking off my goggles. I went to the kitchen for water and then I went back to bed. Nacho was already asleep.
So what am I doing in the Multiverse?
Livvy looked around. This was definitely the Middleworld: the dirt path, the forest, and the black lake. There was a distant sound of lapping water, and the chirping of birds came from the surrounding trees.
“Back so soon?” asked SK, behind her.
Olivia Lawson Techno-Shaman Books 1 -3 Page 36
