He smiles, and says, “I know, and it’s nice to finally meet you, Charlie, face to face.”
Our hands are still clasped together and the feeling of our fingers woven together feels like dejavu, like I've been here before. It’s a simple touch, but it’s enough to send a warm feeling of want right through me. I feel my face start to get warm, and I know what’s about to come.
I quickly pull my hand away, “I have to get home.”
I can’t be sure, but he looks as if he still wants to talk and doesn’t want to walk away. I honestly can’t understand why. All I can figure is that I’m reading too much into this. I know I’m not worth having a conversation with.
Maverick pushes himself away from the window and backs up. “Okay, I guess I will see you tomorrow in class.”
Like the dumb ass that I am, all I can do is nod my head yes.
I drive away and realize my heart is beating a million miles a minute. I can’t help but replay the whole conversation in my head. He took responsibility for me falling, which he didn’t have to and he held my hand longer than was necessary. He looked as if he wanted to talk a little longer. I rationalize it all by thinking, maybe he feels sorry for the new girl.
Unfortunately, before I know it, I’m home. Sitting in the driveway and giving anything in the world to just leave again. Sighing I throw my back pack on my shoulder and leave the safety and comfort of my Jeep and walk into his house.
Chapter 5-Maverick
I walk over to my beloved Camaro that my dad and I restored together, hop in and thoughts of Charlie flood my mind. It seems like everywhere I turned today, there she was–like a sign. I was pleasantly surprised to see her in Choir class. However, I was so afraid she’d think I was a dick. Between knocking Charlie down first thing in the morning and then Mr. Hall berating me right in front of her about taking the class seriously, she must think I’m an ass. I don’t know why but I don't want her to think badly of me. I’ve never cared what anyone ever thought of me but with her, it matters.
Choir may not be my thing but Coach asked all of us team captains to try a new class this semester, to take us out of our comfort zones. I take leadership and that kind of thing seriously so I picked a class that’s going to do exactly what Coach wanted.
What sucked was being directed to sit next to Miranda and Ashley. Sure, they're smoking hot to look at, but they aren’t very nice girls and to me looks aren’t everything. I see how they make fun of some of the other girls behind their backs or whisper snidely in front of them. I’m pleasant to them, but they certainly aren’t my favorite people.
I could tell that music is something that Charlie loves. When Mr. Hall was talking, her eyes seemed to light up at the mention of songs and the different types of music we would be singing. I’ve never seen someone else have such passion for something. It looked just like how I feel when it comes to football.
I don’t think Charlie even noticed me glancing at her throughout both of our classes together. Maybe that was a good thing though. I learned more about her in class just by watching her than I did when she introduced herself.
I don’t know how, but I knew it was her in that Jeep. Why, I’m not sure, but I felt this pressing need to check on her and make sure everything was okay. I was worried about her, and I’m not used to feeling worried about a girl. I didn’t mean to scare her, but when she rolled the window down, and I saw she was okay, I felt like I could breathe again. Finally speaking to her and introducing myself felt natural and seeing those eyes of hers… Damn the girl has some mesmerizing eyes.
Her attitude surprised me for a moment but not in a bad way. She’s kinda sassy which I really like. Unlike some of the other girls I know, she doesn’t try to impress me. She’s just being herself. I can’t help but smile and feel a little excited at the thought of being around Charlie and getting to know her.
I’m glad that Tori took her under her wing. Tori’s really sweet and not gossipy. It feels good to know that Charlie’s in good hands.
There’s something special about her, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I know I haven’t known her long, but I feel a sadness about her. I’m not sure why, but I have this overwhelming need to make that sadness go away. I want to be the one to put a smile on her face.
Chapter 6-Charlie
As I walk into the house, I'm thinking the word home should mean many things, such as safe and happy. Surely it can’t be like this in every home. This can’t be normal. I spot my mom in the kitchen starting dinner and she asks, “How was your day? Make any new friends?”
I knew it would be like this. It always is. It’s like the Spanish Inquisition for crying out loud. I know deep down my mom cares, and she really does want to know. I just wish she knew how badly I hurt and how much I want things to change.
“It was good, yeah. I met someone. Her name is Tori, and she’s in my choir class.” I keep the conversation choir oriented, because I know this will appease her. I certainly don’t feel comfortable talking to her about a boy, and there isn’t really much to say anyway.
My mom and I don’t have the best relationship, so I don’t tell her things. Some conversation topics don’t need to be repeated to my dad, so I keep them to myself.
Talking about choir, Mr. Hall, and Tori was a smart move. This seems to satisfy her curiosity. Truthfully, talking about Tori makes me happy. I didn’t think I was going to find someone so fast that I feel so comfortable with.
I head to my room to work on my homework and have it finished before dinner. The time has flown, and before I know it my dad is walking in the door. Now with my dad, I never know what to expect. He could be in a great mood or he could be in a crappy mood. Regardless, I’ll reap the God awful benefits of either mood.
“Hey dad,” I tentatively say to him, hoping he’s in a great mood.
He peers at me and asks, “Hey, Charlie, how was your day? Anybody say anything about your clothes?”
Well shit, there went that hope and I swear I can see it float right out of the window.
My mom barely glances up.
“No dad, my clothes seemed to be accepted by my peers,” I respond matter of fact. I receive no response. However, I don’t doubt this is not the end of the conversation.
I dread dinner time. Ever since I could dish my food out by myself, there have always been comments. As we sit down to eat and I start serving my food onto my plate, I hear the dreaded words.
“Charlie,” my dad says, “I think you need to make your portions a little smaller. You’re a healthy girl already, no need to make yourself look even healthier. Otherwise your peers really will have something to say about your clothes. Don’t you think?”
This has occurred my whole damn life, so you would think I would be used to it. But do you ever really get used to snide comments about your weight? These days it gets old quickly, and I always get embarrassed. My mom just looks down at her plate, while my dad continues his rant.
At this point I’m done eating. I’ve lost my appetite and I finish what little is on my plate and declare I’m going to bed. When I get in to my room, I feel the need to scream, but of course, I don’t. I’m not sure why I let him get to me. I should be used to it. But I’m just not!
To lighten my mood, I decide to call Tori. I’ve never had a close girl friend to talk to, and I decide to take a leap of faith. She picks up on the second ring. “Aw, I was hoping you would call. We still have a conversation to continue,” she says.
I chuckle into the phone and change the subject by asking about her.
“So, Tori, do you have your eye on anybody in particular?”
“Nah,” I just haven’t found anyone yet that is crush worthy in my opinion. Or at least, worthy of my crush!” We laugh and start talking about other mundane things, and next thing I know, two hours have passed. We figure out we have the same lunch period and plan to meet in the morning in the parking lot. We discuss clothing options for the next day and say our goodbyes. I get off the phone feelin
g a little better and ready to start the next day.
Chapter 7-Maverick
After practice, I head straight home. My mom is sitting in the living room snuggled with my dad who has fallen asleep on the couch. I am very fortunate to have a great set of parents who are still married and love each other complete with a gross amount of groping when I’m in or out of the room. Despite their gross PDA, I am very close to my parents. There isn’t much that I don’t feel comfortable telling them and we have what we call an open door policy. Because of this, they also know when something is going on with me.
As soon as I sit down in the chair across from them, my mom picks up on my attitude. “How was practice Maverick?” I nod my head up and down and tell her good. “Okay, well if practice was good then what’s going on in your head?” she asks. I know the minute I tell her she will freak but in a good way. My mom has waited for the day that I finally discuss a girl with her. Knowing that this is a discussion I need her help on, I start to talk.
“So I’ve met this girl,” I begin. Just like that my mom gets this instant smile and perks up. “Wait, I think she hates me though.” I recount the whole day to my mom. Explaining the start of the day to the end where I scared the absolute crap out of her and even further telling her my thoughts on the sadness I detected in Charlie.
My mom listens quietly and patiently and then begins to speak. “Maverick, I don’t think she hates you. From what you’ve told me I think she is just shy and might have things going on that you aren’t aware of. You just met her.”
“But that’s the thing,” I tell her. “I just met her but I feel something already. There is just something about her that speaks to me.”
“Well it’s about time you found someone worthy enough to feel this way about. Sometimes you just know.”
I start shaking my head as my thoughts are filled with doubt. “This soon though, really?”
My mom starts to interject. “Maverick, first off, you're only a senior in high school so I don't really want you getting that serious about a girl. Having said that, I’ve never known you to have any feelings for any girl. Ever. If you have some type of feelings for Charlie then you need to listen and explore them. Sometimes you just know. I did with your father.”
Well this conversation is now over. I love the advice my parents give, but when it gets to the point that mom starts talking about their love affair, it’s time to put the brakes on. “Okay, I will give it some thought. Thanks for the talk, mom,” I say as I head to my room.
I shower and get ready for bed, and again can’t help thinking about Charlie. She is now consuming my every thought. There were so many other things I noticed about her. I’m not going to lie and pretend I didn’t look at her ass as she walked out of class.
I mean like a nice ass. Not too much, and not too little–perfect.
What can I say? I’m a guy, I notice these things.
So, of course as I'm trying to go to sleep the only thing I can see when I shut my eyes is Charlie. Her brown hair with just a hint of red to it, her brilliant dark blue eyes, her lips that are just so damn kissable, and that smile she was sporting as she talked to Tori. I loved seeing that smile on her face, and I want to be the one to put one there.
After a sleepless night, I decide that today is the day. I'm going to make more of an effort to talk to Charlie. And lucky for me, I start my day with her in history and end my day with her in choir.
I start pulling clothes out of my dresser and find myself seriously contemplating what I’m going to wear. What the hell am I thinking? I have never cared before. This girl Charlie is doing wicked things to my head. She makes me think and care about things I never have before. But why?
Chapter 8-Charlie
Mornings are always rough here. Really Charlie? Actually every morning and evening is rough. Mornings consist of judging my choice of clothing, and evenings consist of watching my every damn move with a fork and a plate of food. This morning was no different.
As soon as I walk into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee, because yes, I am a caffeine whore, I’m instantly confronted with the look. My dad’s sitting at the table with his coffee and paper, and even though I try to be invisible it doesn’t work.
The first thing out of his mouth is, “Charlie, only skinny girls can get away with wearing skinny jeans.” Yes, I’m wearing skinny jeans, but they actually look really good, and I have a tunic on long enough to cover my ass, so what the hell does it matter? Of course, I can never voice my opinion so I just act stupid. I mean, I am, aren’t I?
I can’t eat right, I can’t dress right. I can’t remember to do to the dishes. My parents have never in my whole life told me I’m pretty. Sure, my mom has called me cute, but cute is for kittens and puppies. They've never called me pretty. Doesn’t every girl want to be called pretty?
As quickly as I can, I say, “I don’t have time to change and I really need to go or I’m going to be late.” I can use the late card every now and then, because he’s the king of punctuality. He must be on time, at all times. I have to be careful though, if I use it too often he’d catch on.
The moment I climb in my Jeep and throw the iPod on, I feel at peace. Another favorite song of mine comes on, Try by Pink. How flipping appropriate, and it comes on at my favorite part. The words alone say so much. I close my eyes for just a moment and listen to the words.
A phrase of the song comes into my mind, “But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die. You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try.”
As soon as the song is over I open my eyes and mentally prepare myself for the day. Oddly enough, I’m looking forward to going to school. I have a friend and that somehow makes it just a little easier.
Chapter 9-Maverick
When I get to school, I see Charlie get out of her white Jeep. Cool car, another point to her, although I’m not keeping track. And let’s face it; she has a lot of points from me already.
I pull my Camaro up and park beside her. As I’m pulling in, she glances my way and sees me. I smile at her but the look I get back seems conflicted. She turns her head and starts walking away quickly. I see her walk over to another car, which surprises me but then I notice Tori pop her head out and relief washes over me. I haven’t even spoken to the girl except to ask her if she was all right when I scared the shit out of her. Yet I'm having these possessive feelings when I think she might be talking to another guy. What is up with that?
All of a sudden, I hear my name being called. I turn around and see Miranda and Ashley walking quickly to catch up to me. My inner self starts groaning and I’m trying, really I am, to keep the groan from escaping my mouth. I don’t want to be mean, I’m not that kind of guy but I don’t ever want to give someone false hope either. I sure as hell don’t want Charlie to see me walking with them. After all, I saw them giving Charlie nasty looks yesterday. As they catch up to me, they both loop their arms through mine. As I am trying unsuccessfully, to untangle my arms from theirs I see Charlie look over. Our eyes catch and I can see the disappointment in hers.
I finally untangle my arms from Miranda and Ashley, but it’s too late.
Charlie is gone.
Chapter 10-Charlie
Well, that was disappointing and made my heart hurt for reasons unexplained. Of all the girls to have had their arms all over Maverick, it had to be Miranda and Ashley. I swear in that moment I wanted to be swallowed up into the parking lot ground. I certainly didn't want to be caught watching him.
Thank goodness for Tori. She saw exactly what I saw and wrapped her arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze surprising me.
“Don’t worry. He’s not interested in them my new friend.”
“How do you figure?”
“Remember that conversation we were going to continue that you didn’t want to finish?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say, tentatively.
“He was glancing at you all throughout choir class, not Miranda and Ashley.” I can’t help but
give an un-lady like snort through my nose. Tori responds, “Do not look at me with that look on your face that says I’m crazy either. Plus, I’ve known Maverick for years. He could have been with them if he wanted to. He hasn’t ever been that kind of a guy. He’s really nice and has just always been about football. I’ve never seen him serious about a girl here. You are the first I’ve ever seen him take notice of.”
“But, why me?” Tori’s looking at me as if I just asked something crazy. The look is kind of scaring me to be honest. “What?”
Love Notes Page 3
