Love Notes

by Heather Gunter

  She studies me for a second or two before saying, “You really don’t know, do you?”

  I look at her questioningly. “Know what?”

  “Do you not realize how pretty and different you are from a lot of the other girls in this school?”

  Its conversations like these where I tend to have issues. I can be a sarcastic bitch when I need to be, especially when I feel like the joke’s on me and right now that's exactly how it feels.

  “Tori, are you smoking crack or something?”

  The bell rings and she cocks her head. It’s a mannerism that is so completely Tori, and nonchalantly says to me, “To be continued, once again. And no, Charlie, I do not smoke crack, I snort it.” I look at her like she is the crazy one and burst out laughing. “Gotcha!” she says as we part ways and head to class.

  I head over to my history class thinking about what Tori said. I walk towards my now assigned seat and see that Maverick is already there. As I walk past Miranda and Ashley I hear a distinct pig noise. I feel my face grow increasingly warm which can only mean one thing. I’m completely embarrassed and it’s visible to everyone, all because those horrible girls are snorting and laughing at me. I don’t get it; I didn’t do anything to them. I look up and see Maverick looking at me with a startled look on his face. I don’t want anyone to feel pity for me, least of all him.

  I don’t want anyone to pity me!

  I sit down quietly and Maverick says, “Hey Charlie.” I can’t even speak and keep looking at my desk. Maverick continues to try to get my attention and finally whispers, “Are you okay?”

  I turn my head sideways to look at him and say as casually as I can manage, “It’s not the first time something like that has happened, I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

  “This has happened before?” I guess I give him a strange look, because he responds with a shocked expression on his face. Then to my astonishment, says, “You do realize those girls are just jealous.”

  I glance at him and can see only sincerity in his eyes. I give him a little smile and say, “Thanks.”

  He smiles in response, “Anytime.”

  I can’t help but feel a little better. Of course, I can’t concentrate in class either. I peek at him out of the corner of my eyes a couple of times. I swear he catches me once or twice and smiles at me.

  Lord that smile, I have never had my insides turn to Jell-O, by a simple smile before. Or not so simple smile, who knows?

  I just know there is nothing simple about Maverick in any way, shape, or form. I’m not sure why he’s so nice to me, but I don’t care, and I like it. I’m scared of how I'm feeling and even more scared of getting hurt. But in this moment I don’t care at all, and that’s the scariest thing of all.

  Maverick-Chapter 11

  I have never in my life ever wanted to punch two girls the way I want to punch Miranda and Ashley. Ever!

  I can not believe the way they treated Charlie. I felt her pain. I certainly can’t believe that this has ever happened to her before. What is wrong with people?

  I managed to get a small smile from her even after what they did to her. A small smile, that did things to my already crazy growing feelings inside.

  I caught her looking at me a couple of times through class. I know she thought she was being nonchalant, but I noticed. I wanted to let her know I noticed so I sure as hell made sure I smiled when she was caught. It kind of became a game.

  Man that girl was smoking and she didn’t even know it. She had curves that kept going and a smile that lit up a room. But she was oblivious to it all.

  When the bell rang, I made a point of walking beside her out the door. I could hear those two pains in my ass calling my name and I just ignored them and continue walking with Charlie. She looks up at me and gives me a grateful smile and says, “You don’t have to, you know.”

  I stop walking and look at her, “If I didn’t want to, then I wouldn’t, and I really want to.” Man did I want to.

  “What period do you have lunch?” I’d already decided there was no way I was going to miss the opportunity to spend more time with her.

  She looks at me as if she’s surprised by my question. “I have third period. Why?”

  “So do I, but I didn’t see you there yesterday. Where did you go?”

  She looks at me like she is slightly embarrassed and says, “I ate in the library yesterday.” But then quickly adds, “I’m eating with Tori today.”

  “So that explains why I didn’t see you. I’ll come find you at lunch time, if that’s ok?” I ask.

  She looks at me with shock in her eyes before turning her head away. “Really, you don’t have to Maverick. Please don’t feel sorry for me.”

  I take my hand and gently turn her face towards me and as serious as possible, I say, “Charlie, you are something extraordinary.”

  She smiles and bites her bottom lip as if in concentration. My eyes travel down to fix on those lips. Man, just when I thought she can’t get any sexier, she does.

  In that moment I want to kiss the hell out of her. Just as I’m thinking these thoughts, that I shouldn’t be. I feel a smack, hard on my shoulder by someone passing.

  “Hey bro!” It's Will. His timing is perfect. Why did he have to come around now? And just like that, the moment with Charlie is over.

  Charlie looks at me, like she wants to say something, but she then seems to decide against it. “Maybe I’ll see you later,” she says as she walks by.

  I holler back at her, “Oh, you’ll see me.”

  I turn to Will, “Dude was that really necessary?” Will just throws his quirky smile up and shrugs his shoulders.

  “Couldn’t be helped bro. It looked like you were drooling all over yourself. We are talking baby drool bad. And I, being your best friend and all, am here to help keep you from the massive embarrassment you were fixing to bestow upon yourself.”

  I hang my head, stare at the floor and smile. “Can’t help it Will. I like her, I like her a lot.”

  I knew I wouldn’t catch any ribbing from him, considering his infatuation with a certain red head.

  Will starts chuckling, “Yeah, yeah, I know. I could tell. You forget, I’ve known you since diapers. I have to say though Maverick, I’ve never seen you so, so…. Twitter painted.”

  Nice. A Disney reference.

  “You ass,” I laugh, and playfully punch him in the arm and grab him into a headlock. Of course, it doesn’t faze him and he’s laughing like the tool he is. I let go and he finally stops laughing and turns serious, like the switching of a light.

  “Nah, seriously dude, I can tell you like her. She’s hot Maverick, and seems really nice. She also doesn’t seem very into herself, which is rare. Plus, I also saw her walking with Tori earlier. So I know she’s got to be cool.”

  I instantly feel a pang of jealousy. I must have gotten a look on my face and Will can read me like a damn book.

  “Now, now don’t get all territorial and go pissing all over her. That might turn her off,” he says. I simmer down because I know he still has feelings for someone else. It was the fact that he noticed. But then again, anyone would notice. How could you not? I just don’t want any competition. The thought of someone else with her was driving me insane.

  I have to make a move and I need to do it soon. However, this was not just any girl. She is different and I can already sense she is completely clueless as to how others see her. She doesn’t see what Will and I have already noticed. She’s special and I need to be the one to help show her that.

  Chapter 12-Charlie

  I never in a million years thought that a guy like Maverick could like a girl like me. Maybe he’s just being nice.

  My other two classes pass by in a blur. I’m anxious to see Tori at lunch before Maverick shows up. I want to see if I’m reading too much into it. As soon as I spot her, I hurriedly tell her what happened. Of course the first thing out of her mouth is, “Those bitches!”

  I love that my new friend is alread
y so protective and cares that much for me in such a little amount of time. I tell her I’m over them already but she’s not having it. She’s too worked up over the whole pig snorting. As she’s still venting about what she’s going to say to them, in walks Maverick.

  I see him glance around as if he is looking for someone and then instantly his eyes find mine and to my surprise he starts to head in our direction. I know he said he would find us, but there was part of me that didn’t think he would. There is just no way this can be real. I know what I see when I look in the mirror and it sure isn’t pretty.

  As he heads our way with a smile plastered firmly on his face, he passes the two bitches, sorry, the name has now stuck thanks to Tori and it does seem very fitting. Miranda and Ashley call out to him and to my astonishment he doesn’t acknowledge them, he just keeps walking. He continues on his way until he stops right at our table.

  “Can I sit down?” Maverick asks.

  Tori kicks me hard under the table to get my attention. Probably because I’m staring at him in complete surprise and awe that he actually did find me.

  Apparently, I am too caught up in my thoughts because Tori answers for me since I seem so incapable of speech at the moment.

  “Hey Maverick, have a seat,” Tori says.

  “Hey Tori, how’s it going?” Tori just smiles at him without responding. He turns back to me and motions to the seat directly next to mine, “Is this seat taken?”

  “Nooooo”, I kind of drag out my response. How embarrassing. I’m acting like I’m crazy as a loon.

  “Okay, well it is now.” As he sits down his arm brushes mine and I feel tingles race up and down my arm. My head snaps up to see him looking directly at me. I don’t have to wonder if he felt it as well, because by the look on his face, he feels just as surprised.

  Tori, sensing that she’s no longer needed, looks at me and announces she has some things to do.

  All of a sudden I begin to panic. I am honestly freaking out. She can’t leave. What will we talk about? What if he thinks I’m stupid and an idiot? I blurt out, “You don’t have to go Tori.”

  “Nope, got some things to do, have fun”, she says. As she stands, she whispers in my ear, “You will be fine, I promise. Call me tonight.” She then, winks at me as she passes.

  My eyeballs are now staring daggers into her back and I hope and pray she can feel every single one.

  My attention is brought back to Maverick when he starts to speak, “You know my friend Will, he’s crazy about her, and she won’t give him the time of day.”

  Okay, now this is a conversation I can deal with. I have often wondered why Tori doesn’t have a boyfriend. She’s gorgeous. A little taller than me but her fiery red hair is beautiful and eye catching. Not to mention she is the nicest person I’ve met here or ever for that matter.

  “Really? Tell me more.” He laughs and starts to speak. My Lord he has a nice voice.

  “I’m not sure why she won’t, to be honest. They went out once, and Will never spoke about it. He’s asked her several times after that and the answer is always the same, no.”

  I make a mental note to ask Tori about this one day.

  Maverick continues, “If there was a girl to ever be friends with, then she is the one. She will defend you in a heartbeat and is loyal as all get out.”

  I recall the new name Tori bestowed to Miranda and Ashley and can’t help the chuckle that escapes my lips, “Yes, that she is.”

  “But, I didn’t come here to talk about Tori.” Maverick says. “I came to talk to you.”

  I pick up my apple off of my plate to avoid conversation. “Sorry can’t talk with my mouth full,” I say and then take a rather large and un-lady like bite.

  He just looks at me humorously as if knowing exactly what I’m up to and says, “I don’t care, and it wouldn’t bother me if you did talk with your mouth full, but how about I start until that apple is finished. Then it’s your turn.” Not a question, a statement. Crap not getting out of this one.

  “My parents are Robert and Carol–I'm an only child. I love my parents and have a close relationship with them, which may deem strange to some. They’ve been married for twenty years and still make out like fiends in front of me. The guy that rudely interrupted us this morning, is my best friend Will. I’m the captain of the football team and he’s my co-captain. There’s a couple of colleges interested in me that are on the table for a full football scholarship. I haven’t made a formal commitment yet, but my hearts with UGA. That’s where my dad went,” he says wistfully.

  As he finishes talking, I come to the conclusion he isn’t being cocky about his accomplishments, but rather he’s proud as he should be. I am also amazed at his relationship with his parents. It’s so foreign to me.

  “Okay, now you.” Maverick looks patiently at me. Damn, I ate the apple too fast.

  My stomach seems to drop to my feet. I have to keep this as generic as possible. I hate talking about myself.

  “Okay, well I’ve moved around all of my life. I’ve been in so many schools I’ve lost count. This is my last one obviously, until college, which I can’t wait for. Just the thought of being in the same school for four years without changing, makes me happy. My mom and dad are still married, but I wouldn’t say happily. I would say–just going through the motions.”

  Why in the hell did I just tell him that? I can’t help but chastise myself.

  Oddly enough, after that mess, conversation comes easy. I like the way his voice sounds and when I talk he gives me his undivided attention. I’ve never had anyone show me that kind of rapt attention. He seems so interested in everything I say.

  “How about music?” he asks. “I noticed in choir that you seemed to light up every time Mr. Hall brought up what we were going to be singing this semester.”

  “Yeah,” I reply. “I love music.”

  “Who’s your favorite singer, band, whatever? Tell me everything.”

  I feel taken aback that this guy wants to know so much about me. I look at him and ask the only question that pops in to my head. “Why?”

  He looks at me with a sincere look and says, “Why not? There is just something special about you that makes me need to know you.”

  I can’t help but think that this is a mistake, or it must be some kind of joke. Am I being punked?

  I glance around the cafeteria half expecting a camera crew to jump out at me at any moment. However, as I look at him, he seems sincere, but I’m still doubtful. I pinch my arm just to make sure. I know I’m stupid but I can’t help it. Yeah, the pinch hurt, not dreaming. Surely he’s not talking to me, and he has the wrong girl. Does he need glasses or something?

  I can’t take it anymore. It just feels off. There is no way a guy like him would like a girl like me. I need to put a stop to this before I am embarrassed beyond repair. Words that sound so familiar start running through my brain. All I can think about is my dad and what he’s says I am. He’s not afraid to speak the truth about what a fat ass I am or how stupid I am. I have heard this my whole life, which is why this so unreal to me.

  I feel the beginning of tears threaten to track their way down my face, and I don’t want to cry but I’m on the edge. My voice starts to crack as I start speaking, “I’m sorry Maverick. You must have blinders on. You’ve got the wrong girl. I’m not anybody special. I don’t have movie star looks and I’m not interesting. I’m just plain Charlie. Charlie, who has parents that named her a boy’s name for an ungodly reason, overweight with mud brown hair, short and plain. If this is a joke, it’s not funny.”

  I stop talking. I just don’t have any words left in me and I need to get up and leave. I can’t bear for anyone to see me cry, least of all him. I start to get up and leave, and I feel his arm stop me and gently lock on to my wrist, which feels like perfection despite how miserable I'm feeling. Just a simple touch from him makes me feel things. Things I have never ever felt–on my wrist of all places.

  “Please stay.” I turn around and l
ook at him. I mean, I take a really good look at him. I’ve always heard the saying, the eyes are the window into the soul and as I look at him I understand what that means.

  He seems visibly upset.

  “Why?” I can’t help but ask.

  Maverick sighs and starts speaking quietly. “I don’t know how or why you see yourself like this, and I would like to beat the shit out of the person who ever said or did anything to make you believe this, but I can guarantee you that you are the only one in this whole school that sees yourself that way.”

  “First, you are anything but plain.” He scoots closer so it’s just between the two of us and in this moment, it's as if no-one else exists. “Second Charlie, I love your name. It’s sexy as hell. Thirdly, you have the prettiest blue eyes I’ve have ever seen. Your hair when it hits the light has a reddish tint to it that make your eyes sparkle. You are anything, but uninteresting. I could listen to you talk for days. Plus, those curves of yours drive me to the brink of insanity.”