“Is your name really Medusa Damon?” he asked as they began to move together.
“Yes.”
“Do you really have a brother?”
“No.” This was also a lie. She did have a brother.
But she didn’t want to talk about him—not even to Trey.
Chapter 5
Lilith breezed into the club in a good mood. She had a couple of detours to make before she headed for the dressing room.
First, Ethan. She wrapped her arms around his waist in a tight hug, using her closeness to slip a little something in his back pocket. When he pulled away, his hands went to his ass, and he found the movie tickets she’d put there.
He grinned. “Good month, huh?”
She always got him a little something, a tip of sorts, when she’d had a good month. After all, not only did he not make tips, but he had to watch all sorts of pretty he couldn’t have wander right past his nose. “Date night on me,” she said, handing him another gift card, this one for a nice restaurant near the theater.
His eyebrows arched. “Wow. Very good month, then.”
Rising up on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek. “Okay. I have to see Smith. See you out there.”
She meandered into her boss’s small office space, tossing an envelope on his desk. Smith looked up, pulling the fat envelope over to him and staring at her for a beat longer than normal. “You have steady business?” Smith was careful as always to keep any accusation out of his voice. He could have been talking about the weather.
For some reason, his question put her on the defensive. “So what if I do?”
“Don’t get testy. It’s just an observation. You didn’t go home with as many clients as you could have in the last few weeks.”
“Yes, I have a regular who keeps me busy.”
“Hmm.”
“You have your cut, so what do you care?”
He narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. “Again, it’s just an observation.” He looked toward the door. “Now go get dressed.”
She did as she was told, wandering into the dressing room, wondering why she felt so . . . would protective be the right word? It was hard to pinpoint why Trey and the arrangement she had with him made her nervous sometimes. Most of them being fickle frat boys, her regulars came and went; they were only regular for a few weeks or a couple months at a time.
An uncomfortable feeling had begun to settle in the pit of her stomach. It was beginning to occur to her that if Trey outgrew their partnership, she stood to lose something.
The thought put a damper on her mood.
As she dressed, reaching for the Goth outfit, she tried to lower her raised hackles. For the kind of work he did, Smith wasn’t a bad guy. People had a certain image in mind when they thought of any man who would own a club where women sold their bodies. Smith, his club, and his girls didn’t match the preconceived notions people came in with for the most part. Hell, the lies Lilith spun to keep her clients interested were much more exciting than any of the girls’ real stories, her own included.
All of Smith’s girls were clean and regularly tested. They were held to strict standards. Most of them were good girls just trying to work their way through college like anyone else. They had their problems, but none of them were coked out or anything of that nature.
It could have been a lot worse. Maybe she didn’t get benefits and a 401k, but Smith was fair. Dana often complained the girls at the office where she worked part-time were backstabbing vixens. The girls at the club tried to help each other as much as they could. They all had bills to pay and times were hard.
Calmer now, Lilith spent some time straightening her black hair. She finished off the look with too much dark eye makeup and black lipstick.
The Goth girl was standoffish, so she didn’t approach any of the milling patrons. Instead, she sat on the edge of the stage, crossing her legs. Lilith wasn’t very tall, but her legs looked long for someone so short. That night they were encased in black fishnets that disappeared under a super short, dark purple skirt. She leaned back, both of her hands on the stage, showing off the way her body looked in the dark corset she wore.
Some men found the Goth girl’s total lack of interest appealing. The thrill of the chase, she supposed. So she bounced one leg, put on a bored expression, and waited for the little fishes to take the bait.
It didn’t take too long. A couple of drunken buddies wandered over within a few minutes. She traded a few coy words with them, flicking their hands off her leg when they tried to touch. It was the appeal of what they couldn’t have that drove them, and sure enough, they started digging deeper for the pleasure of having a piece of her.
Before she could seal the deal, though, an imposing figure sauntered over.
“Move along, children. This one . . .” He trailed off as he took a good look at her. “Oh, it’s you.”
Of course, Lilith would know him anywhere. It was dear Francis.
She sat up, her body tensed and her eyes scanning the crowd for Ethan.
“Never mind, boys.” Frank stepped back, crossing his arms and glaring at her. “But if you want my advice, you’ll stay away from this one.” He pointed at her. “Oswald is a filthy piece of work. If you’d open your legs up for him, your standards are too low for my taste.”
Lilith let a slow smirk come over her face. “Oh, Francis.” Her voice dripped with condescension. She splayed her hand on his chest, drawing her fingers up to tap his chin. “You’re just mad that my standards are too high, and you’ll never get a piece of this.”
With that, she jumped off the stage, looking over her shoulder at the perplexed buddies. “As for you boys, you’re cute enough. I’ll be around if you shake your friend here.” She glanced at the furious scowl on Frank’s face and winked before she walked off, her hips swaying in time with the club’s pulsing beat.
~0~
It was the small hours of the morning when Lilith walked out of the club. She yawned, ready to be home and in bed. Luckily, Dana had lent her the car, so she didn’t have to walk or find a taxi.
The night was cold enough that she let the car idle for a few minutes. She rubbed her hands together, blowing into them.
After a moment, her skin began to crawl. She looked around, positive someone was watching her.
Sure enough, across the lot she saw a familiar figure. Frank. In the darkness, it was hard to say if it was her he was looking at. He was leaning on the roof of his car, turned in her direction, just standing there. Being creepy.
Then again, he’d been an idiot all night. If he thought she was unaware he’d been staring, he was mistaken.
It had been a slow kind of night. The drunken buddies had paid her well enough to let them do shots from her cleavage. After that, it had been dance after dance after lap dance.
The whole time, she’d felt Frank’s eyes on her, had seen his glower when she happened to glance in his direction. At one point, he’d been loud enough that it was clear he was trying to draw attention to himself. He had Ginger on his lap, and she was playing it up like she was having a grand ol’ time. He’d looked at Lilith with purpose then, his expression cocky, as if he was trying to show her what she was missing.
Idiot.
At some point, it had become a battle of the wills. She was determined to show him he wasn’t getting to her even though, when he looked at her like that, she felt dirty. It had taken everything in her not to ask Ethan to see him out. She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
So though she was ten times more creeped out now—it was the middle of the night in a darkened parking lot after all—she resisted the urge to throw her car into drive and get the hell out of there. Instead, she just stared right back.
He gave in first. It was a couple minutes before he got in his car and peeled away, tires squealing.
Breathing a little easier, Lilith cranked up the heater and drove home.
For the most part, her mind was blank as she drove. She had the next couple d
ays off, which was nice. The only thing on her docket was a tryst with Trey, and that was hardly work anymore.
All in all, even with Frank being a jerk, it had been a good day.
As always, Lilith was as quiet as possible as she slid the key in the door. The apartment she shared with Dana was a one bedroom. They alternated who slept on the pull-out bed of the sofa and who got the bedroom. This week was Dana’s week on the couch, and Lilith didn’t want to wake her up.
When she got inside, however, she saw that her discretion had been unnecessary. Dana was thrashing and whimpering in her sleep. Her nightmares got pretty horrendous some nights—it looked like tonight was one of those nights.
Kneeling on the crappy mattress, Lilith ran her fingers through Dana’s blond hair, careful to avoid the snarls. “Come on, honey. You’re okay. Wake up.” She spoke in a soft murmur, trying to comfort her.
The nightmares were scary, but once upon a time, Lilith would come home to find Dana strung out on whatever drug someone had pressed on her that night. There weren’t a lot she hadn’t tried. But that part of her life was done now, and the nightmares were part of dealing with the things she’d once chased away with drugs.
So Lilith was thankful to be dealing with a nightmare. It broke her heart every time Dana woke up like this. It was difficult to hear her friend’s incoherent, terrified jabbering as she shook in her arms. But as hard as it was, seeing her friend this broken was preferable to seeing her climbing the walls, about to do something dangerous.
She kept Dana tight in her arms, rocking her and rubbing her back as she cried. It was twenty minutes before the nightmare released its hold on her, and she was coherent and stable again.
Dana buried her head on Lilith’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was a timorous whisper.
“Don’t give me that sorry shit. You’re fine.” By now Dana knew she wasn’t going to put up with self-pity.
Even though they were the same age, it was nights like these that made Lilith feel like a much older sister. She wiped the tears off Dana’s cheeks and hugged her again. “Do you want me to call Mal?”
Dana shook her head, hiccupping.
“Okay. Come on.” She stood and tugged at her friend’s hand. “Let’s go to sleep.”
Dana followed her like an obedient child, clinging to her hand as they padded down the hall to the bedroom. Lilith led Dana over to the bed. She guided her down before finally releasing her hand. They were only separated long enough for Lilith to get out of her clothes and into the tatty pajama pants and old t-shirt she used as nightclothes. When Lilith got under the covers, Dana cuddled up to her.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Lilith scratched Dana’s head the way she knew she liked.
The other girl shook her head no. “Just want to sleep.”
“Okay.”
She watched over her friend, scratching her head in a comforting gesture until the other girl’s breathing evened out. Only when she was sure Dana’s sleep was peaceful did Lilith allow herself the same luxury.
Chapter 6
Lilith’s thoughts were thick as she tried to figure out what was going on. There was an urgency somewhere, a reason she should fight through this fog of sleep. Something was trying to drag her out of her warm, cozy space.
And it was annoying.
Phone. This word had meaning to her. Purpose. She identified the urgent, annoying thing. It was ringing.
Her hand shot out from under the blanket, and she groped along the nightstand until she encountered the object she was looking for. She yanked her arm back into the warmth and pressed the phone to her ear. “’Lo?”
“Lily-bean?”
Her eyes shot open. “Daddy?”
“Hey, baby.” His voice was so gentle it made Lilith’s heart twist.
Hearing her father’s voice always made her feel like a little girl. It wasn’t a bad thing. On the contrary, she had nothing but good memories of her childhood. What made her heart twist and her breath catch was the ache of loss she felt.
Once upon a time, she’d been her father’s princess, the apple of his eye, and the very center of his universe. Her mother had died when she was just a baby, but she hadn’t lacked for anything growing up.
For the most part, her father was bewildered. When she was a teenager, she’d become someone he didn’t understand. While he still loved her, he didn’t know how to deal with her, and she didn’t know what to tell him.
“Happy birthday. Twenty-one. That’s the last big milestone until what? Thirty, maybe?”
Lilith laughed. “Yeah, I guess. Last special rights birthday until sixty-five when I get the right to pay less for a meal. I’m supposed to get trashed tonight, right?”
There was a beat of silence, and Lilith wondered if it was wise to remind him she could drink legally now. She tensed, waiting for the inevitable moment the conversation got awkward.
Her father surprised her by going with the flow. “So you’re going to exercise your right to party then?”
“Ah, well. Malcolm and Dana are forcing me.”
“That’s good, though. You should have a good time. Why didn’t you head to Vegas?”
“Are you kidding?” Lilith snorted. “I’ve heard all the stories. I’d have blown my rent money at the airport just because I could.”
“Well, there is that.”
He surprised her again by launching into a story of his own twenty-first and how miserable it had been. He’d gone with a friend, and they’d had a huge, friendship-ending fight.
“Your mother was there, you know,” he mused toward the end of his story.” On the same weekend, at the very same casino.”
Lilith sat straight up in bed. “Really?”
“We didn’t find out until much later, of course. Her birthday was the day after mine, remember?”
“I remember you told me.” Her heart panged, missing the woman she’d never known. Her father’s voice got so wistful when he spoke of her.
“She was there, in the same place, ironically having just as bad a time as I was.” He gave a small sigh—not sad, just lost in thought. “Even across the country from home, we were running in the same circles.”
“And had the same bad taste in friends.”
“It was her boyfriend making her miserable. Lucky for me, I suppose.”
“Yeah. Lucky for me, too.”
She was quiet for a minute, almost kicking herself for the question she was about to blurt out. They were having such a nice conversation.
Ruining a pleasant conversation with her father was something Lilith had always excelled at. “So how’s my little brother?”
Sure enough, she could almost feel her father tense. “Aiden’s doing very well. Straight A’s in school still. He was just voted MVP of his basketball team, and he’s borrowing my keys all the time since he got his license.”
“That’s good.” Lilith’s throat felt tight.
Aiden was her sixteen-year-old brother and, so far, turning out to be just the kind of teenager Lilith had not been. He was a good boy who didn’t cause much trouble.
Why she felt compelled to ask if she could talk to Aiden, Lilith couldn’t say. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since she was nineteen. As far as her father and stepmother were concerned, she was too bad of an influence. She hadn’t changed, so their decision wouldn’t change. Those facts didn’t stop her from asking, though.
Her father sighed, the sound exasperated. “You know the answer to that.”
“Yeah. Delilah still thinks I’ll taint the kid just by speaking to him.”
“Lilith—”
“I get it,” she muttered. “It was nice of you to call, Dad. I guess it’s good you’re old enough she doesn’t worry about you.”
Another pause. Another sigh. “I sent you a card, Lil. Get yourself something you need, okay?” He hesitated. “I love you.”
Lilith bit her lip. “Bye, Dad.” She hung up the phone before he could say another word.
&nb
sp; She pressed her fist to her mouth, trying hard to put a damper on the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her.
What she wanted most was to hold on to her anger. She had been a good big sister. She loved and cherished her little brother and hadn’t ever resented him. They’d loved each other. Even when Lilith had proven to be a bad daughter, she was still a good sister. She’d have done anything to protect her brother—that was how so many of her problems with her father had started in the first place—and yet they’d been ripped apart.
Anger she could understand. Her anger was justified. Would it have killed them to let her talk to Aiden? It wasn’t as though she was going to drag him into her den of sin.
Despite her want to hold on to it, as soon as she hung up the phone, her anger dwindled, giving way to a much stronger emotion. It was a quiet devastation that crept over her like a shroud. She never got used to this feeling, like she was covered in filth, like she was corroded at her core. She felt wrong. Bad.
Shame was a thick feeling. It coated her tongue, making even the air she breathed taste foul. It weighed on her, stooping her shoulders.
Her father said he loved her and she always had a home. Sometimes, Lilith wanted to believe. She wanted to believe it so bad she had to close her eyes and breathe through her nose until the intensity of the desire faded.
How could it be true if they thought she was too fucked up to even speak to their precious child?
Lying back down, Lilith pulled the blankets over her head. She tucked her legs up to her chest, ignoring the tears that had overflowed.
Closing her eyes, she hoped sleep would find her again.
~0~
Despite her repeated insistence she was in no mood to go out—like any of them could afford it anyway—Mal and Dana wouldn’t take no for an answer. Even Erin smiled and encouraged her. Lilith and Mal’s girlfriend didn’t always get along, but they didn’t hate each other.
Duplicity Page 4
