by Lyn Gardner
“See, it’s a real apple, but you’ve allowed yourself to be deceived into thinking that it was behind your ear. What you saw and what you think you saw are two different things. The eyes and the brain play tricks on each other.”
“You’re the best magician I’ve ever seen,” said Aeysha.
“Are you in a show?” asked Olivia.
The boy shook his head and looked sad. “I wish,” he said bitterly, and he continued packing up his things.
“You could be in ours. You’d fit right in,” said Olivia, carried away by her enthusiasm, and she shoved a leaflet for a free ticket in his hand.
Aeysha and Georgia glanced at each other. They thought Olivia was being overhasty in offering the boy a chance to be part of the Swan Circus. “Livy…” said Aeysha uncertainly.
The boy looked at the leaflet and a strange look flitted across his face. He whispered, “A circus? You’re part of a circus?”
Olivia nodded eagerly.
“I’ve never even been allowed to see a circus,” he said, “so I can guarantee I’d never be allowed to actually be in one,” and he strode away without even saying goodbye.
They stared after him.
“That was a bit odd,” said Georgia. “He seemed really upset, almost angry.”
Olivia shrugged. “Does he remind you of anyone?” she asked, her voice casual.
“Um, not really,” said Georgia. “Oh, maybe – that bloke who does magic on the telly? But that boy’s better. He should have his own TV show.”
Aeysha was still watching the boy as he disappeared through the crowd. “I know who he looked like just then,” she said. “It was the same body language. He looked exactly like Eel when she’s in a terrible strop.”
Eel gasped indignantly. “Strop? Me? Never!” Everyone burst out laughing, except Olivia, who studied her little sister thoughtfully.
Chapter Seven
That afternoon, they had almost fifty people in the audience and agreed it was a great deal better than nine. Lots of children had signed up for the free circus-skills workshop the following morning, which was encouraging, too. But Olivia could see from the grown-ups’ worried glances that fifty people wasn’t nearly enough, particularly as most of them were on half-price or free tickets. But again the audience had been really enthusiastic and at the end they had clapped and cheered, and some had even stamped their feet. Or forty-nine of them had…
When Olivia had finished her turn on the high-wire and was taking her bow, she thought that she’d heard a distinct boo among the cheers. It was unsettling and had made her heart beat faster. She had glanced round to see if anybody else had heard it, but they were all smiles; she anxiously scanned the faces of the small crowd but she couldn’t see where the boo might have come from. Perhaps she had imagined it?
And perhaps she hadn’t been all that good? She did feel tired, as the last few days had taken their toll. She always knew when she was at her best on the wire because her mind emptied of everything except an awareness of her own body. She knew that Eel felt the same when she was dancing really well.
Jack always said that to walk the wire properly you had to leave anything you didn’t need behind on the ground. No, she hadn’t been at her best; even as she dismounted she had seen Jack’s slightly raised eyebrow and she knew that she had been sloppy, somehow remaining earthbound even though she had been up in the air. Jack never expected anything less than one hundred per cent from anyone, but particularly from Olivia. Although she expected no less of herself, it sometimes felt as if Jack wanted even more.
She knew why her father was pushing her so hard. A lot of the show had been created to specifically disguise the fact that most of the Swans were beginners when it came to circus skills, although their dance training meant that they were all exceptionally lithe and strong and so had a head-start. Olivia knew that the core of the show relied on her and her dad’s and Pablo’s genuine skill and talent and many years of hard training. Even Eel’s prowess at acrobatics was really window dressing, although the crowd loved it when she exploded across the ring, somersaulting and cartwheeling like a demon. Alicia didn’t like it so much, she was always worried that Eel would injure herself and not be able to continue her dance training. Olivia knew that Jack and Pablo had been concerned about the lack of core skills at the heart of the circus, because she had heard them discussing it.
“What we really need is a couple more children with really first-class skills,” Jack had said. “It’s such a pity that Tom is still in Peter Pan. He may not be experienced but he’s such a natural on the high-wire.”
“The show is good, Jack,” replied Pablo. “And we can hide the holes. If we are very cunning, most people won’t even notice that our little ducklings haven’t been doing circus all their lives. And Livy, she will not let us down. She is such a professional. She carries the show.”
Olivia had immediately texted Tom to tell him what Jack and Pablo had said about him.
Tom had replied straightaway. “Aw, shucks. But you know what they say, pride comes before a fall, and it’s an awfully long way down from the high-wire.”
Olivia couldn’t help feeling proud that she too was such an essential part of the Swan Circus, but it also felt like a bit of a burden. At least today it did when her mind was so full. She watched the audience drifting away or chatting with Alicia and Jack, who were trying to engage with as many people as possible after the afternoon show, like good hosts saying goodbye to party guests.
She wondered who it was in the audience who had booed. Only a professional who knew a great deal about circus performance would have noticed that she hadn’t quite nailed the routine.
Aeysha and Georgia came up to see if she wanted to go into town between shows. They set off, handing out a few leaflets to families on the way.
“It went well, didn’t it?” said Aeysha happily.
“Did you hear anything odd after my tightrope routine?” asked Olivia.
“What do you mean, odd?” asked Georgia.
Olivia found she couldn’t quite bring herself to explain. She shrugged, but her face was anxious and she felt on edge.
“All I heard was the sound of people enjoying themselves,” said Aeysha.
They stopped to buy sandwiches and then wandered into Greyfriars Kirkyard. They were just starting to cross the path towards a tree so they could sit in the shade when the girl in the yellow dress came running along the path at full tilt, her dog close on her heels. She clearly didn’t intend to stop, so they stood back to let her pass, but she didn’t even thank them. Instead, when she saw Olivia, she looked surprised, scowled and then stuck out her tongue. She clearly hadn’t forgotten their encounter at the magic show. The collie gave a little woof as if in thanks and raced after her.
“Did you see that!” said Olivia, outraged, as they settled themselves under the tree. But she gasped as the same thickset man they had seen on the steps at the Mound suddenly appeared through the other gate.
“I think he’s the reason she was in a hurry,” said Georgia.
“There’s something really odd about all this,” said Aeysha. “You don’t often see kids being chased through the streets by grown-ups, do you? Livy, did you ever tell Jack about what you saw in the garage?”
Olivia blushed. “No, I forgot. I’ve had other things on my mind and so has Dad.”
“I think you should,” said Aeysha. “Maybe those girls are in some kind of trouble?”
“P’haps they’re runaways?” said Georgia. “That could be why they’re sleeping in a garage.”
The man lumbered towards them. He was breathing heavily as if he’d been running and his forehead was shiny with sweat. “You seen a girl?” he asked. “Dark hair. Yellow dress. Dog.” He gave what he clearly hoped was a charming smile. “My niece,” he added, and there was a sorrowful edge to his voice. “The wee one and her big sister, both a bundle of trouble. They’ve been nothing but a pain since I took them in and gave them a home after my poor siste
r died.” He shook his head sadly. “But they’re poor wee orphans and I’m just trying to do my best by them. But my best is not good enough for them. Na’er a thank you. All they do is keep running away.” He put his hand theatrically on the left-hand side of his chest. “It’s breaking my old heart. If you tell me where she went you’d be doing her and me a favour. I want us to be a family again.” His eyes watered. The girls were so embarrassed they didn’t know where to look.
He seemed so pitiful that Georgia began: “I think she—” when Aeysha butted in firmly and said, “We haven’t seen her. Sorry.”
A shadow of something that might have been fury passed across the man’s face as if he was certain they were lying, but he quickly composed his features, thanked them and hurried away.
“Why didn’t you tell him that we did see her?” asked Georgia. “He was so sad about his nieces. I thought he was going to cry.”
“Or maybe he’s some kind of con man who’s very good at acting,” said Aeysha tartly. “How do you know he’s even their uncle?”
“He’s definitely right about the lack of manners,” said Olivia.
“Look,” continued Aeysha, “I know that girl’s really rude, but maybe she and her sister have got a very good reason for running away from him? Maybe it would be really awful for them if he found them? One thing I do know is that the girl’s dog doesn’t like him. He tripped him up on the Mound, and if that clever dog doesn’t like him, that’s good enough for me.”
A little over an hour later Olivia stood just outside the big top, ready to make her entrance. There were at least a hundred people in the tent for the evening performance. Things were looking up, but Olivia knew that the big test would be whether audiences would still come when they had to fork out the full price for the tickets. She had heard Alicia on the phone to the arts desks of some of the newspapers trying to get them to send critics early in the hope that good reviews would help.
Jack’s tired, tense face made it clear that the circus was a big financial drain. “We’re haemorrhaging money,” he’d murmured once, realising that he needed to make yet another visit to the cashpoint. They had expected to eat most meals cheaply in the rented house – Lydia was a great cook who knew how to eke out a budget – but cooking every day for a large number of people at the campsite just wasn’t practical, so they were surviving on sandwiches and expensive takeaways. Jack’s main hope was that he might recover the several thousand pounds he had paid the scammer. He’d reported it to the police and they were investigating, but even if they caught the man responsible there was no guarantee that Jack would get his money back.
“I’d dearly love to get my hands on the swindler,” said Jack, after yet another fruitless trip to the police station. “When I’ve got more time I’m going to do a bit of my own investigating.”
Olivia watched as the scene from A Midsummer Night’s Dream came to its conclusion. The show was going really well tonight. The audience loved the opening with its excerpt from Swan Lake with Aeysha, Georgia and Eel wearing long-necked swan masks fashioned out of wire. Their pleasure turned to wonder at the carnival of animals that followed. There was a performing seal and a roaring tiger that could be seen getting the better of his clownish tamer (played by Jazz with a long fake moustache). The animals were Lion King-style puppets that included a clever basketwork elephant that had been made in school as part of an art and design project. It was manipulated by the children and lumbered majestically around the ring to the strains of “Nellie the Elephant”. The elephant stopped to allow the children in the audience to reach over the side of the ring and pat his trunk and William Todd enjoyed squirting them from his trunk using a concealed water squirter.
Olivia scanned the members of the audience laughing at the fairies, who were dressed in ragged tutus and boots so that they looked like ethereal street urchins. They were leading away Connor O’ Toole, who was playing Bottom, and who was a natural clown. He was playing to the crowd, scratching his large ears and braying loudly. His performance brought the house down. Suddenly, the music became louder. Emmy and Daisy, on roller skates as they played the fairies Cobweb and Mustard Seed, weaved dizzying circles around Bottom, spinning so fast that it made you believe that they might actually take off.
In just a few seconds, Olivia would be on. She stood on tiptoes ready to run out into the bright lights of the ring and as she did so she felt something lick her hand. She looked down and there was the black-and-white collie dog looking up at her. She wondered what he was doing here, and whether that meant that the girl was around, too. She remembered that she still hadn’t told Jack about what she’d seen in the garage. She vowed to mention it immediately after the show.
“Hello, boy,” said Olivia, giving the dog a pat. He looked up at her mournfully with his big intelligent eyes and offered her a paw. “Do you like the circus?” She laughed because it almost looked as if the dog was nodding. “You are such a clever boy.”
But then she heard Pablo yelling, “Get on, Livy, you’re going to miss your cue!”
Flustered, Olivia ran into the ring and started climbing the tower. Her heart was thumping, and she could see Jack already on the wire. As she reached the top of the tower and stepped out on to the wire, she gazed for just a moment at the audience, their faces quite clear in the lights of the big top. Her eye fell on a figure in the middle of the fifth row: the boy-magician was sat all alone with empty seats on either side of him. He had a rapturous look on his face, as if he was having the best night of his life. She hoped he’d stay behind after the show to see her and her friends. She really felt a connection with him and wanted to talk to him some more. She glanced at him again, and for a split second she didn’t see the boy, she saw Jack. The resemblance was so great that they could be father and son…
Father and son! Olivia’s brain began to whirl as she stepped out on the wire. She knew that she had to concentrate but her mind was in turmoil. She looked at Jack, balancing at the other end of the wire. He was frowning because she had missed her cue. She stuck out her chin defiantly as she began to move towards him. She heard the crowd give a little “Ooh” as she reached Jack and he raised her up on to his shoulders with one graceful movement.
When she had been little and Jack had lifted her like this, she’d always felt as if she were a doll in the palm of a giant. He was so strong, so effortless in the way that he did it, that it never even crossed her mind that he might drop her. But now, as she started to stand up on his shoulders, she began to feel insecure. She lost concentration, and as soon as she did, she started to wobble.
For a moment, it seemed certain they would fall, but Jack took control and held her firmly by the ankles. Olivia regained her balance just in time. But she was shaken. She didn’t normally wobble.
“Concentrate,” she told herself sternly as she held her position. But she couldn’t get the boy out of her head. She stole another glance at him; the spotlights meant that she could no longer see his face clearly. She descended to the wire and as she did so she heard another boo amid the clapping. She could see that Jack had heard it, too, but unlike her he had taken it good-naturedly.
“I think we both deserved that,” he whispered wryly. Olivia knew that her dad was just being kind. She was the one who had lost concentration. They moved to opposite ends of the wire. A balancing rod in hand, Olivia began a sequence in which she walked along the wire towards Jack, swaying out far to one side so she was perched on one leg and then to the other. It looked really perilous but Olivia found it as easy as walking along a wall. It was just a question of being aware of your centre of gravity. She caught sight of Jack watching her closely and for a split second it was as if she was seeing the boy again. Could he be Jack’s son?
No, it was impossible. The boy was clearly younger than her and yet he was older than Eel. Snippets from the conversation she had overheard played in her mind: I saw Alfie’s birth announced in a newspaper…I feel terrible that I’ve never even seen him. He must be about t
en now…” She continued walking towards the end of the wire, lost in her thoughts. Suddenly, she blundered into something. She heard Jack cry out, the audience gasp and then she was all alone on the wire and there was just a space where Jack should be. White-faced and shaking, Olivia looked down. From somewhere in the crowd she heard a loud boo. Then she gave a huge sob and began climbing down the tower as fast as she could.
Chapter Eight
“What on earth were you thinking about, Liv?” asked Jack gently. The two of them were sitting alone on the grass outside the big top. Everybody else was inside, going through with Pablo how they would run the first circus-skills workshop, which would be starting in just over half an hour. But Jack had wanted to talk to Olivia and this was the first chance he’d had since the fall last night.
Olivia could hardly bear to remember the moment when she had watched Jack falling. It seemed to happen in slow motion. She felt a rush of shame. She had allowed herself to be distracted and had almost killed her own father. If he hadn’t landed on one of the mattresses below he might have died or been seriously injured, and it would have been all her fault. One mistake, one tiny lapse in concentration, and she would have had to live with the consequences for the rest of her life. She shivered.
As soon as it was apparent that Jack had landed like a cat and was totally fine, Kasha and the band struck up again and the show had continued. The audience was galvanised, as if the tumble from the wire had made it realise that what it was watching was real and genuinely risky, not just a showy pretence. Jack had even insisted that he and Olivia did the final Tempest sequence. He had been extraordinary in that scene, quite electrifying, as if the fall had pushed him on to even greater daring.
But Olivia had seen her father looking at her in a way she had never seen before. He looked wary, as if he didn’t quite trust her any more. Remembering this now, she felt so ashamed, and began to cry hot tears.
